16 years on benzos, protracted withdrawals and recovery

[[gr...]]

Dear Eugene,

 

Such beautiful advice. Thank you, Eugene.  I did have the honor of reading Allison's thesis yesterday when you posted it.  It was a great comfort to me and gave me hope.  Thank you for sharing it and thank you for being such a wonderful, kind and amazing person.  You have really given me the concrete information that proves one can truly heal after so many years on these poison drugs.  I am 55, so I worry about my age preventing me from healing, but I truly believe from what you have shared that even I can heal and have my zest back too.  Thank you so much for everything you have done for me.

 

All the best,

-g

[[me...]]

Hello Eugene,

 

I read your success story with great interest.  it's truly inspiring to me.  I'm 62 now, and was prescribed xanax at age 49 for anxiety and panic attacks.  A few years later my husband died very suddenly, after which I used xanax and alcohol and became dependent on both.  Early this year I decided that I don't want to go on this way, and have now been off both xanax and alcohol for almost three months.  Needless to say, it's been hard. Fortunately, although it's a roller-coaster, I've already noticed an improvement in my symptoms, both physical and mental.  Today my brain fog has cleared a little.

 

I've taken your advice and started a benzo withdrawal journal, which will help me a lot in realizing that I am slowly improving even though there are setbacks.  I've printed out many success stories.  Thank you for your wonderful contribution to us all.

 

Megan

[[gr...]]

Hi Megan,

 

It is nice to hear that you are doing better.  I am 55 and was on xanax for 4 years, so you give me hope that you are getting some good windows.  I am also off for 3 months, but am still struggling.  But, your post today really gave me some wonderful hope.  Thank you so much!

 

-g

[[wh...]]

Congratulations Eugene,

Your post is so inspiring. You have beat the beast and made it to the other side. Congrats brother.

YBIC,

Clay

[[Ga...]]

Thanks for writing your story Eugene. I have tinnutitus and vibrating really bad at mo 9. You give me hope it will get better and us c/t arent doomed for yrs.

God bless

[Guest [eu...]]

Gardena

My tinnitus was so bad that I had a very difficult time understanding general conversations.  It instilled such fear in me that I would be like that forever.  I am here to tell you that it has resolved at least by about 95%.  All of the tinnitus in my ears have gone and now it is just a faint fuzzy sound in the background that comes and goes.  I am very confident now that this remaining annoyance will slowly fade.  I have always felt like all of the symptoms that I had would not just disappear overnight but would, over time, just slowly fade away and that is what has happened.  There is hope.  Eugene

[[re...]]

Gardena

My tinnitus was so bad that I had a very difficult time understanding general conversations.  It instilled such fear in me that I would be like that forever.  I am here to tell you that it has resolved at least by about 95%.  All of the tinnitus in my ears have gone and now it is just a faint fuzzy sound in the background that comes and goes.  I am very confident now that this remaining annoyance will slowly fade.  I have always felt like all of the symptoms that I had would not just disappear overnight but would, over time, just slowly fade away and that is what has happened.  There is hope.  Eugene

 

Thank you for sharing this!

You give us all such hope.

Much appreciated.

 

 

[[gr...]]

Hi Eugene,

 

Did you have a lot of physical pain during your withdrawal?  My worst symptoms are debilitating physical pain and I am so worried that I shall be plagued with this pain forever.  If you did have physical pain can you tell me what you suffered from and when they started to fade away.  I so want to believe that in time all these symptoms will go away, but today I am feeling very discouraged and hopeless.

 

I have severe neck, shoulder, deltoids and trapezius pain, weakness, almost limpness in both my arms (feels like my arms are paralyzed), burning nerve pain constantly throughout my body, stiffness in every single muscle including my eye muscles, joint pain, numbness in my hands and feet, ear pain as if I have an ear ache every day, jaw pain..ugh..my body is one big center of pain.  When I wake up I feel like I have been hit by a truck....it is just awful.  I just hope it all goes away one day....thank you for any help you can provide.  You are a Godsend.

 

-g

[Guest [eu...]]

Yes...I had lots of pain.  Severe shoulder and hip pain.  I had pain behind both eyes.  I had severe stomach and abdominal pain that sent me to the Urgent care 3 times. I had svere burning pain in both arms.  All the tests were normal.  Between the 7th and 11th month of withdrawal the stomach pains faded and the others became far less.  Today I have slight joint pain in my rt. shoulder and my right hip.  I am not sure if this has anything to do with the withdrawals...last week I went to the doctor and found out that I am slightly hypothyroid.  He put me on low dose thyroid meds.  Some aches and pains can be caused by this.  time will tell.  I can tell you that the intense pain I had that I knew for sure was withdrawal has gone.  Eugene

[[gr...]]

Thank you Eugene for your helpful response.  I, too, have some thyroid issues that came up.  Mine is more hyperthyroid, although my t levels are in the normal range, but show towards the hyper side.  I also tested positive for a thryoid antibody which may mean I have Hashimoto's Disease.  They found multiple thryoid nodules on my thryoid during a routine neck MRI.  I had the neck MRI due to all the pain I was experiencing in my neck and shoulders and that is when they found the nodules.  They want to do a syringe biopsy on 2 of the larger noduels to make sure they are not cancerous.  I have not scheduled the test because I am sure they are not cancerous and I am beginning to believe that all of my thryoid issues are due to the w/d.  I hope they resolve after I recover from w/d.  Did you mean that thyroid problems can cause a lot of joint and muscle pain?  Is that true?  Sorry for so many questions...hope you don't mind.

-g

[Guest [eu...]]

Yes...joint and muscle pain can be a symptom of hypothyroid.  If you google hypothyroid and hyperthyroid you can see some of the major symptoms of thiese disorders.  Some of them do mimic benzo W/D.

[[gr...]]

Eugene,

 

Good to know..will do a google.  I appreciate it.

 

Take care,

-g

 

[[Bi...]]

Hey Eugene,

 

I appreciate your story.

I, myself was on Klonopin nearly 6 years and tapered off with Valium within two years. My taper was horrible. I forget most of what I went through honestly.. well, you can read what I experienced .. I just choose not to look back.  I'm hardly on much, but I couldn't help but to respond to you. YOU are right.. God does help one get through this.. he has me tons. I was scared to death I would never sleep while going through this but I have been.. in fact 8-11 hours. Thank GOD! I could NOT do this without sleep.

Thank you for your story and good to hear you are well.

 

Billy.

[[Mi...]]

Hi Eugene,

 

Your story is truly an inspiration, and it gives me hope in these scary times, that I'm currently experiencing in my life.  I'm so sorry that you've had to suffer for so long.  I'm glad you're starting to see light at the end of the tunnel, and that you're able to function at this point. I hope each passing week is better then the last, and eventually all of this becomes but a distant memory of turbulent times that are now behind you.

[[...]]

thank you for those very encouraging words. my wife is just starting her journey. it will be very helpful.

 

 

[[br...]]

Thanks so much for writing your success story.  It helps me so much to hear these.  Congratulations on 14 months of healing! 

[[sk...]]

Thank you so much for the encouragement Eugene,

  Reading your success story was truly inspiring. I know that you went through it and back. I as well have leaned upon God through this ordeal.

I hope you continue to heal each and everyday.

S

[Guest [eu...]]

I have had a number of PM's...I know the suffering you are going through...just try to be encouraged that healing will come...of all the many, many success stories that I have read not one has said that they did not recover...some still had a few lingering symptoms but had recovered to the point where they could funtion fairly normal...

One thing I did that really helped me each day was I bought the entire Bible on DVD (New King James Version) and I began to listen to it non stop.  I have now listed to it daily for over a year...I have listened to the Old Testament 2 times completely through and the New Testament 5 times completely through.  I am amazed at the number of times that positive passages would come to mind when I was having an extremely hard day...there is power in God's Word...you may want to try this...it really has worked for me.

[[ma...]]

Thank you so much Eugene for your wonderful post.

It means a lot to us who are still struggling - & gives much needed hope.

 

I am 5 months post taper, having a very hard time - & live in your area.

Am curious to know if you thought that Lovelace - or any other place, Dr, or support group here -was of any help.

 

 

margaretisabel

 

[Guest [eu...]]

Margaretisabel

The doctor that cared for me in Lovelace Rehab was outstanding.  His name is Rene Gonzales.  He was an older Psychiatrist and had delt with many patients such as myself.  I am not sure if he has a private practice, if he does it is probably in Albquerque NM. I just googled him and it shows that he is part of Presbyterian Medical Group in Albuquerque, NM...tele. number 505-291-9238

[[ma...]]

Eugene,  thank you VERY much!

Will give Dr Gonzales a call.

 

margaretisabel

[Guest [eu...]]

Great...let me know how it goes.  Eugene

[[ma...]]

Will do, Eugene!

 

My sister found Allison's paper last Jan & sent me link.

It helped me to understand things a lot & thought of going up to Colo to see her.

I was crushed when I found out she had died, but grateful for the

amazing study & help she gave to so many.

Thanks for putting her link on here.

 

Last month my Dr here tried me on a low dose of Remeron -1/4 tab- or 3.75 mg.

It knocked me out so bad I slept for 20hrs - & did not try it again.

I think I read somewhere that the LESS you take of Remeron -the more "sleepy" qualities it has.

Have been too timid to try it again. Any info?

 

margaretisabel

 

[Guest [eu...]]

That is what Dr. Gonzales put me on.  I was on it for 1 month after I was released from Lovelace.  It worked well for sleep but I tapered off early in my recovery because I was so afraid it would affect my recovery.  I went back on it about 2 months ago and it really has helped the final leg of my recovery.  I am on 22.5 mg at bedtime and I sleep  8 hours and wake up with no negative effects.  the combination of drugs that he prescribed was 30 mg Remeron and propranolol 20 mg 3 times per day.  This combination really helps with sleep and anxiety.  If I were you I wouldn't be afraid of the remeron but give it at least a month or longer to see if it stabilizes out...it did for me.  The Propranolol is a beta blocker that affects the HR, BP and anxiety.  Dr. Gonzales said that this is one of the best combination he uses for benzo withdrawal.  It is true that the lower doses are mainly for sleep aid.  My primary doctor is now following me and he let me experiment with doses up to 45 mg per day.  It is true the higher doses didn't help the sleep as much.  I have read a lot about this drug and I have seen very little negative comments.  I am going to stay on it for several more months until I am sure my healing is complete then I will wean off over about 6 weeks.  eugene

[[ma...]]

Wow Eugene! Thanks for that information.

I will ask my local Dr about both meds & dosages.

Will call Gonzales ofc tomorrow. Unfortunately we are over 3hrs away from

Albq & don't venture down there so much any more, but... I sure could use some

experienced help!

Thanks so much again. There is something special & heartening -about knowing there is someone

in my physical area - who went through this- & recovered.

I am not much of a computer/internet person, so just hearing familiar names & places - helps ground me in this turmoil,

& gives me hope.

You have been a true blessing,

 

margaretisabel