The Klonopin Klub

[[br...]]

HI Everyone! I need to go through this thread in length.

 

I'm currently at .172 K down from .5 cutting 1% daily using a gram scale, razor and an excel spreadsheet. (dry cut)

 

My plan was to jump at .02 but may go sooner. Just don't know what the right number is.

[[re...]]

Hi, folks -

 

Once again I have to respond selectively--end-of-semester madness, among other things.

 

NJoy, I'm SO glad the magnesium works for you, too.  Overdosing with magnesium is not as much of a risk as with other things (such as fat-soluble vitamins, like B, of which you have to be really careful), but too much can definitely give you the runs, so it's good to be moderate.  At any rate, it's good you've identified something benign that improves your nights! 

 

Regarding valerian, it's never done anything for me, except possibly, when I was in early withdrawal, make my symptoms worse.  It doesn't do this to everyone, but I'm told it can be a risky one with healing GABA receptors, so with valerian, as with so many things, it's a good idea to proceed with caution.

 

Sleep mask, sleep mask, sleep mask--I can't say this enough times.  Wearing a mask at night has revolutionized my sleep and improved the quality of my life--I mean HUGELY.  It does not work every single night--sometimes something that's bugging me just gets stuck in my brain, and then nothing works (although this is usually after I've already had at least a few hours of sleep, so it could be worse).  But most nights the mask helps me sleep longer AND better (deeper), and ever since that started happening, my symptoms have been diminishing faster--I mean the correlation is so obvious it's almost funny.

 

Amy, in almost every post you've written I've seen the word "seizure"--I think, given the care you're taking in tapering, you're worrying about this far too much.  You will probably, like most of us, have to weather some unpleasant symptoms, but it doesn't sound to me as though you are setting yourself up for a seizure AT ALL!  The fear of dying that you also frequently express may be partly the effect of the drug.  In other words, that fear is one aspect of the anxiety that the drug itself imposes, meaning that it is based much more on a chemical reaction than on any rational basis for fearing for your life.  Try to stop and breathe deeply and slowly, to calm yourself down.  Some self-soothing, if you can manage it, will in itself help you heal.

 

Finally, JKS, I'll help you organize the Jaxnj Fan Club!   

 

Peace to all,

 

Rek     

[[th...]]

Hey all.

 

I hope it's okay to post this here, I just like the KK and I always enjoy reading your posts, and generally feel like I've learned something new or useful.  :]]  But yeah, I just wanted some feedback on this situation: vomiting.  I know we all deal with nausea here and there, or a lot of it sometimes, but over the past week-ish I've been having a serious problem with throwing up.  I know it's not the flu or anything, because it pretty much goes hand-in-hand with my worst waves.  This is becoming a problem for me more than other symptom issues due to an ulcer I have, which is making it much worse and much more painful.  I just feel like I'm out of ideas and was wondering if anyone else struggled with this specifically and if you ever found any relief from it.  Of course, I'm also waiting for it to pass and be over, but it's really becoming difficult to eat and get the energy I need when I can only keep it down until my next panic attack, and then have to start from square one waiting til I feel good enough TO eat again.  Just curious if anyone has any thoughts.

<3

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portia: I can't figure out how to update my signature... .25K cuts were no problem until I got below .5... then it became an issue... now my cuts are very small.. some people think too small but cutting every 10 -14 days... they are still larger cuts than people who titrate and reduce 1% a day... that would be 10% every ten days and I'm not always able to do that... I held 6 wks when I knew I had a trip planned and sometimes i'm not ready after 10 days and so have gone 14.  My last failed taper was .25 K every 2 wks and that was how I ended up here.... it was pretty scary...When I jumped from .25 k, all h.... broke loose.  I'm taking it very slow and steady this time... I read every thing I can... sometimes I feel (well, know) that I'm obsessed but reading everything and then sorting through it to find what will work has been key for me.  brazil  dry cutting 1% daily is a real accomplishment... my scale is not accurate enough to do that... or is too sensitive or has a .001-.005 mcg error possibility... the least bit of moisture or wind over it will affect the readings... needs to be calibrated often... I would like to do 1% daily but have found 7-10% every 2 wks to be workable and so far, mostly, manageable.... I usually know after 3-5 days how much the cut is going to affect me and then I have another week or so to stabilize.  So far its been manageable....even the worst of my sx... phy. jaw pain and mental, agoraphobia, have been the most problematic... well and headaches but no return yet of that terrible shaking that accompanied my last failed taper or the wks on end of no sleep that accompanied my first failed taper.  My newest sx is almost constant dehydration... I can't keep enough water in me... I sweat profusely... I first thought it was a return of menopausal hot flashes but so many write about it that I'm now considering it a w/d sx.  brazil  I've done a lot of reading on here and .02 is considered a good jump.  If you are managing your own taper, it really gets down to what works for you, I think.  Njoy

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BLP:  I have not had vomiting but you need to eat... have you talked to your doctor about it? 

[[th...]]

portia: I can't figure out how to update my signature... .

 

Here NJoy (if you want to): http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?action=profile;area=forumprofile

 

<3

 

[[po...]]

Njoy.. wow that sucks. Did it get bad AT .25, or when you dropped that? Maybe I will split the .25 after that stage... I am doing what you were doing but with 5 week intervals.

[[...]]

portia I've been warned about advising... but, yes, after jumping from .25 I was undone.  Now, 10% would be 2.5 from .25 is .225.  People complain that it drags the taper out and for sure, it does but those small cuts really pay off.  In MHO  5 wks just lets you build up tolerance and after you have reached the point where the cut has stabilized,  5 days to ground 0 and 10-14 days to stabilize... there doesn't seem to be much use in dragging it out past that.... I'm not sure thinking that taking larger cuts but waiting longer to reduce follows logically for this beast.  Its harder to cut pills and I've now started making powder and measuring that but I haven't seen any real evidence that taking larger cuts and then waiting longer before cutting again will help... of course, it can be very individual.

[[po...]]

Njoy> Well I dont know if it makes sense or not. i will just have to see. I figured giving myself a long enough time so that the dose I am on (right now .75 from 1) seems normal (like the 1 seemed normal before) would make it easier. I saw 25 percentage cuts all over the place on message boards etc. and went on that. My doctor wanted to do .5 cuts, but Id rather take it slower. I didn't hear about making smaller cuts than that until I came on here.

 

I may consider cutting the .25 mg doses in half as a last stage. I guess I will just have to see how bad it gets when I get there.

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curious portia  What is Keppra?

[[du...]]

Hi all.  Man, skip a couple days and a lot happens around here.  Anyway, with all this talk of nausea and seizures and all, I thought I would jump in with something a little more upbeat.  Basically, I am feeling okay.  Cut from .625 to .5 and so far so good.  Am going to hold for a week, then move .125 to lunch and .375 to bed, see if I can maintain.  Currently no symptoms other than neck/shoulder pain.  Best I have felt in 6 months.  Have been sleeping 6+ hours a night, uninterrupted - which is much better than I was doing before I started the taper.  As noted in previous posts, I have stopped drinking and completely regulated my caffeine intake to a single coffee in the morning, and believe that has helped greatly.  Also avoiding stress and conflicts at work.  I have to say, it scares the shit out of me to hear people who tapered, jumped at teeny dosage, went four weeks and then got hit with a sledgehammer.  So I am going to take it REAL slow on the final cut.  Specialist doc I saw a week or so ago to help design/manage the taper (worse than useless) gave me two prescriptions, one for .5 and one for .125 wafers.  I didn't pay attention to the quantity until I went to pick them up from the drugstore on Monday: 120 each.  Now I have more Klonopin than I know what to do with.  But the wafers will come in handy towards the end.

 

Sorry, I have no pain to share, only good thoughts!

 

I owe a HUGE debt to the BB boards for info, advice, support, stories.  Thank you.

 

ducky

 

 

[[Fl...]]

Sent the day in the ER.  Had severe gastric area pain and vomiting.  Not sure yet if it is something else or all due to taper/wd.  I did get a med for the vomiting call I think Zofran?

[[Mo...]]

Keep us updated Flutterbye. You are in good hands. Super severe gastric pain with vomiting sounds to this non expert like a bad stomach virus and not benzo related. Either way you will recover!

 

Im still dealing with this headache. Constant for 72 hours. suuuuuuucks. Magnesium takes the edge off but adding advil to the magnesium didn't have any effect. 2 weeks off today, gotta stay strong!

[[Fl...]]

Thank you.  I have a history of gall bladder issues ( not stones)  I am still uncomfortable having wrestled with a sumo wrestler apparently

[[po...]]

Njoy, Keppra is an AED (like Depakote, Dilantin, Neurontin) used to treat epilepsy and some other things. I have Juvenile Myoclonic Epilepsy. I was not put on benzos for this, and have always been seizure free so long as I take my AED medication, which will be for life.

[[ja...]]

Hey KK of the BB!

 

You guys are amazing - so glad I helped a little  I am so flattered about what you said, JKS about the "Fan Club". (Reks, thanks for seconding  ) Sunday I'll have 11 months behind me and although I'm asymptomatic, I've worked super-hard on getting here and am always working. Mostly now for that anxiety that comes from Normal Life. I've said this before but it bears repeating - once you get off Klonopin, you don't get off Life. I just wanted to share what works for me, and I'll keep sharing.

 

For those of you tapering, I'm keeping up with you and your sigs - I didn't taper (c/t) so I'll just be happy for you and support you. Njoy, congrats on the cut  I think that's awesome. Brasil, please keep us posted on that 1% cut system - that's something I've never seen before and I'm sure a lot of people will benefit from your experience.

 

Njoy, I also got that note some time ago. It's standard and I think we all get it at some point. Don't let it bother you - I think they just try to give the medical field the chance to prove themselves to us as individuals. I think it's a delicate balance for the moderators. Just don't use the word "advise" and I think you'll be ok. 

 

Things are pretty good here. Our apartment fell through so we're back to looking - and packing. So I don't know when we'll end up moving. But listen to this! - I had got one of those Groupons for 5 yoga classes at this awesome studio, and when I ran out I asked for a discount, given that I'm unemployed. The director suggested that instead of that, I come to work there 2 nights a week in exchange for free classes. So I'm starting today  It's great on many levels - I get to start being social with a group of people who know how to relax, it gets me out of the house and will be so good for me physically and mentally. Lucky, lucky.

 

I'm starting to combine my meditation practice with the yoga. Now that I wear glasses only, I take them off to do yoga and it puts me into a zone where I concentrate on my breath and my body.

 

I've been doing a crossword a day - just easy Mondays from a book I have, and I'm getting better and really enjoying it - I definitely see the appeal. I have a smoothie every day with berries, banana, almond milk, flax seed, walnuts and plain greek yogurt. It's so good... I feel relaxed and happy. Don't even think I need a sleep mask, sleep mask, sleep mask  , Reks.

 

On a much relieved note, my cat Gabriel was petite mal seizing yesterday so I brought him to the vet finally. He doesn't have diabetes - I was so nervous, given that he's over 20 pounds, but he's ok. He caused quite a stir yesterday at the vet's office - he's quite a magnificent animal with a quiet, sweet personality and very intelligent. So get this: if he doesn't have anything wrong with his organs, they want to put him on phenobarbital. I'm not doing that to my cat, ever. My cat on narcotics? Tapering my cat off the meds? No way. If that's the case, I'll just keep his quality of life steady, because I am not giving my cat that crap. So, do you think I can teach an old cat new tricks? Yoga, meditation and a sleep mask? 

 

Anyway, on with the day. I hope your days are full of windows and open those windows - why not - it's a gorgeous spring day. 

[[re...]]

Jaxy, you crack me up!  I read your message with a huge smile.  And good for you for not subjecting an innocent kitty to the medical nightmare!!  Our pets are so much at our mercy--I make myself remember that every time I'm mad at our dog for some infraction . . . and really, he's a good doggie.  Just not always obedient.  He's come a long way, though, for a very nervous rescued animal.  But I digress.

 

That's GREAT about the yoga opportunity, and the sort of barter arrangement you got set up with there: an excellent idea.

 

As for not needing the sleep-mask, hey, if it ain't broke don't fix it, right?   

 

I hope everyone has a windowful day -

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[...]]

Good morning folks, Yes,jaxy there were issues of being too straightforward, blunt and /or giving uninvited advice even before I was on K.  Of course, then, I was fiercely independent and had far more credibility.  So be it... I'll try to be good.  Great news on your yoga class barter.  Sounds like just the thing for you right now.  I had never done yoga before last summer when I was given a gift of a set of classes... liked them so much that I signed up for a second set.... it was one of the only times I have been able to engage at any social level in a long time and even then, it was mostly w/ the instructor.  I have no desire to teach it and it would be a very long time before I would be qualified anyway but we were able to connect on some peripheral topics.  I agree, its a tremendous adjunct to meditation with which I do have years of experience.  i hope I can get out again this year... they are offered, outside, on the mountainside, over looking my favorite lake.  I've been thinking about a sleep mask.  Skymall offers them.  I don't know if I could keep it on my face all night but I did keep those cotton balls rolled up and tucked into the back of my mouth all night.  (again, do not try this at home!).  Putting an aged cat through any kind of heavy duty med like that seems counterintuitive to me but then my views on med.s have become so skewed. 

I've been so exhausted since I returned from my trip... I did make it out last Sat. which was a good thing but since, the exhaustion has overrun my life and I can feel myself losing the gumption to get up and go.  Last night I could not sleep.  I fell asleep about 6 am this morning and woke up at 8:15, a couple of hours later... I am so whacked out.  I became very discouraged after reading some posts on a thread last night from people who, like, yourself, have been off for some time.  I embarked on this journey almost exclusively, giving up my job... to reclaim my mind, my cognitive functioning skills.  I could feel my heart breaking when post after post indicated that years after, there was only limited return of cognitive ability.  My reserve held fast as long as I could believe I would get my ability to think back.  Now, I can feel myself falling into a pit of despair I have tried so hard to help others find their way out of... I feel like such a farce.  i am a farce... my whole life has become some pale reflection of a real life.  i wax so bitter, again.  I did read that puzzles and juggling helped and so I did my first crossword puzzle ...since maybe grade school last night... my mother has done them her whole life...she buys the books and at 88 has started Suduko... I don't see the connection, but she seems to be able to make it .  I have to say...w/ the c w puzzles,  I think they throw trick questions in there... offering up arcane words that nobody uses anymore.  Grumble, grumble.  Because I have such a difficult time exercising, I've started lifting 10 lb weights in bed.  If I got out on the lake in this spring weather and almost any wind or waves came up, I'd be doomed... I cannot believe how weak I've become this winter.  I had pneumonia for a year once and I don't think I lost this much muscle mass.. of course, I was younger.  Flutter glad to hear you are feeling better...  My meditations were very dry this morning... we call it being in the desert.  So, let me wish for all of you a more fruitful day and as Jaxy says... get out in this warm air... I can't ... the wind is like being beaten... not purifying at all, just hostile.  Njoy

[[...]]

1.  grateful for the new day

2.  grateful for having the initiative to embark on this journey

3.  grateful that my vision is returning and I can read again

4.  grateful that I can read w/o having to reread over and over again to remember what it said

5.  grateful that I can feel something again, even if its not always positive

[[ho...]]

Hi Everyone,

 

I've read a couple posts about tooth and jaw pain that I'd like to comment on. My dentist made a soft plastic mouth guard for me that really helps with this. I had a hard plastic one too but I bit it so hard that it broke! The soft one is build up behind your front teeth so when you bite the first thing that touches is your bottom front teeth. Impossible for your back teeth to make contact. Hope this helps someone.

 

I've also seen some posts on various boards that " people who aren't really suffering badly don't post here... they don't need to." I think there may be truth to that.

I'd like to say that for me though, since I began my milk titration taper on March 1st I have done very very well. BB's need to know that not everyone suffers terribly. I had extreme withdrawal at first because I unknowingly cut my dose by WAY to much. Since finding BB and getting educated on slow taper methods I am able to do this with very minimum sx.

I do wake every am. with anx. which goes away within an hour. I have some head aches, muscle and joint pain and hot flashes. The physical pain I experience I had before klonopin due to fibromyalgia and arthritis. This gives me perspective concerning current wd issues.

 

The most helpful thing that I came across here at BB was parker's paper on " What's happening In Your Brain." When I was first in withdrawal everything scared me. I consumed me. After reading this paper I realize that for me, FEAR is my greatest enemy. Once I understood that sx = healing I could embrace my sx and not fear them. The second thing that helped me most was joining this forum. All the sharing that is done here greatly helped me to realize the extensive array of sx. involved in withdrawal and recovery. Now when my heart beats funny or my BP changes I'm no longer afraid, I know that it is just my brain adjusting.

 

I thank all of you who post, give opinions and encouragement. Lastly I want to say God Bless Benzo Buddies and send peace, hope and love to all of you.

 

hopeful2013

[[re...]]

Hey, Hopeful!  Well, it can't be ENTIRELY true that people who are feeling good don't post here--Jaxy and I, for example, are both doing pretty well, and we both check in from time to time. I confess I'm not as regular or as thorough as I was, but that's mainly because life has become a little overwhelming lately--overwhelming in enough good ways that I don't mind, but it does keep me occupied. 

 

Parker has been a godsend to a lot of people, I know.  She put immense care into that post I've seen so many people refer to.  There's also this one, which went up more recently, posted by Perseverance:

 

http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=77803.0

 

I hope everyone is hanging in there today, and if possible feeling a sense of real progress -

 

Peace,

 

Rek

[[In...]]

Rek,

 

Thanks for that link to Perseverance's post. I'm going to read it here. Hubby recovering from his surgery better than I'm doing it seems. All the stress of that and some family crap has really taken starch out of me this week.

 

And I have so much to do, that I now wonder more than ever how much outside stressors are playing into my taper. I mean I've been reading about avoiding it now for so long, but exactly how does one do that anyway?

 

Just life itself has built in responsibilities, and I'm unable to walk away, not pay bills, etc. So much more. Guess I could start a thread on this as I'm really feeling impacts now.

 

Anyway, I'm going to read this thread link you've posted, and Parkers also. First I've got to make calls, set up doctors followups, pay some bills, the usual.

 

Intend

[[Br...]]

1.  grateful for the new day

2.  grateful for having the initiative to embark on this journey

3.  grateful that my vision is returning and I can read again

4.  grateful that I can read w/o having to reread over and over again to remember what it said

5.  grateful that I can feel something again, even if its not always positive

 

Wow that is so cool Njoy. I love it.

 

Brian

[[Oc...]]

Hey everyone, I just wanted to bump in and give you my well wishes. I don't have anything to add - just know that I read you guys and I care. <3

[[Sk...]]

Greeting, Fellow Klonopin Klubbers.

 

I am feeling better now.  The withdraw is not as bad as I thought it would be.  I am down now from 2mg to 1.75 and it has only been 2 weeks since I restarted my taper plan. Quitting cigarettes had a tremendous effect on my recovery.  My symptoms were being revved up by cigarettes and since I quit drinking as well,.. that has helped too.  These things gone and a positive outlook on life and the future and a healthy diet is helping me enormously.  I also don't know what I would do without the vitamin c supplement and making sure to intake enough magnesium from FOOD. 

 

Blessing to you all!

 

-SZ-