Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

[[Ha...]]

Thanks, AF1! I appreciate the support and the welcome! It does seem like either I tapered too fast for me at that point, or my current dose is where my body really started to feel the lack of the benzo? I'm going to take a look at the link you posted. I guess if I wanted to do a liquid micro taper I would need to get my Dr to prescribe it in liquid form ... thanks again 

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Hi Haimona,

 

Welcome to the group!  Wow, you have gone through so much already and despite periods of considerable difficulties have made good progress and had amazing patience. Congratulations for your success so far!

 

Sorry to hear you are getting hit with tough symptoms again after your most recent reduction. Everything you describe sounds like symptoms others in this group have experienced forcing us to slow down.  It's strange to see how challenging it can be on lower doses. I'm not there yet.

 

I don't have any experience with the prescription liquid Ativan, Intensol.  But I've read about how others have used it and can pass the info. along if you are interested. I've heard it's ideal to work with the prescription liquid if your doctor will prescribe it and insurance will pay for it.  Some of us, including me, are doing liquid micro tapering with our own homemade solution.  Others in the group are titrating by dry cutting using a scale to weigh their daily dose.

 

The "ReadMeFirst" page AF1 shared is a description that goes with a computer application created by Jim Hawk, a past member of benzobuddies.  It might seem kind of confusing just on it's own.  Here's the link to full application.  http://benzo.alwaysdata.net  I think Jim Hawk gives a good overview of both liquid and dry tapering. You can play around with plugging numbers into the application to generate possible tapering schedules.

 

A few of us in this group are making our own liquid solution as Jim Hawk describes using alcohol as a solvent.  Then we are doing our own calculations using a math formula we learned from another buddie.  I hope I'm not confusing you with too much info.  If there's anything you want to know more about, please don't hesitate to ask.

 

Haimona, thanks for sharing with us here. Please join us anytime as a place of refuge and mutual support. I hope your difficult symptoms soon subside as you explore possibilities for continuing your tapering.

 

Luey

 

p.s. Would you mind making a "Signature" we can see at the bottom of your posts to understand your progress? On the Community Forum main page select "profile," then "forum profile." When you scroll down you will see a place to create your "Signature".

 

 

[[he...]]

Hi friends and new friends -- Happy Friday!

 

I'm just doing a quick check in. After my rescue dose last Sunday I haven't taken any rescue doses, and I'm doing OK. The main thing is that I do no sleep well or long. I wake up after about 5 hours and before my eyes are open I feel anxious and strung out, unable to sleep more. In the past I would have taken another small dose to sleep more. I am not doing that now, just growing more tired. I am trying other modalities to relax and sleep (aromatherapy, meditation apps, homeopathic sleep drops) and my brain overpowers all of that. It makes me feel crazy, and like my brain is not healthy or right. Does anyone have similar experience early in taper, any advice for me?

 

I am seeing my psychiatrist in a couple weeks. As I mentioned, she doesn't think withdrawal could be "real" on the "low" dose I've taken for so long. She said "a couple sleepless nights" and I'll be fine. It feels much more real than that to me. Melatonin gives me nightmares, and I don't want to take Ambien or anything else potentially addictive. But as you probably all know, insomnia can make all these anxiety symptoms worse!

 

Thanks much. I hope everyone has a good weekend with moments of peace and enjoyment. I think of you all and just knowing I'm not alone in this journey has helped me to imagine a day when I'll be done with Ativan and feeling better. 

[[te...]]

Heartsonfire

 

You are right sleep can really be a problem . I still have little sleep much of it broken into 2 hrs . I have tried all the relaxation tapes also . I still think time is the only answer . With that said relaxation techniques help at times . Some days nothing works for me . You just have to say to yourself I know what this is my brain is tired and for me it helps me not feel like I am crazy . If that fails I go on this site and everyone here helps to make my day easier . Thanks to everyone here . You are all the best !

Lisa

[[Os...]]

Hello everyone, and thank you for the advice and support you've provided.

 

Yesterday a.m. was my last dose of Ativan.  0.125mg.

 

Today I decided to jump, since sys have been ok since dropping below 0.5mg.

 

I'll continue to update over the coming days and weeks.  If this worked, and I'm able to eliminate this medication completely, I have this group to thank for it.  Previously I tried to C/T, and had a frightening weekend of high blood pressure, racing heart, and anxiety / depression.  My doctor didn't believe I could have withdrawal from a few months of Ativan at 1mg / day.

 

I'm planning a weekend of cooking dinner with my family, watching a movie tonight, and taking my dog for a long walk tomorrow.  I slept fine last night, I've been taking Melatonin before bed.  Interesting that Melatonin works now, when I was on Ativan at 1mg per day (0.5mg before bed) I'd wake up every few hours, even if I took Melatonin.

 

Have the best weekend you can.  Autumn is a beautiful season.

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Yay for you, Osprey!

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CONGRATULATIONS OSPREY!!!!!

 

[[te...]]

Congrats!!!!!

[[Ha...]]

Hi Luey,

 

Thank you so much for your informative and very supportive reply to my post.  It has been a long haul trying to get off these benzos, that is for sure.  It's strange, it seems like the lower I get in the dosage, the worse my withdrawal symptoms.  In tapering off clonazepam, I'm not going to say it was a walk in the park by any means, but I could power through the insomnia and the rebound anxiety and it usually took me less than a month to adjust to each taper.  Even the move from 1 mg to .75 mg of lorazepam, little by little, was pretty much the same way.  But ever since I went to .5 and below, it has gotten soooooo much harder.  I'm so tired of being so tired.  And I would like to feel relaxed again, at least some of the time.  And get my brain back, and feel steady on my feet.  I do believe I will get there eventually, but this lack of decent sleep really takes a toll.

 

Thanks to everyone here for helping me know that I'm not alone.  It used to be when I tried to do searches on the internet for Benzo withdrawal sx, all I would find were sites about addiction and abuse -- and all I ever did was take what was prescribed to me.  In fact, my doctor never even suggested I get off the benzos -- I decided to do it when I found out what they do to your brain and your cognition.  Anyway, thanks for the support and I hope I can offer the same.

 

Haimona

 

PS I did try to create a signature -- I hope it makes sense to everyone.  I can't remember all the dates of all the different parts of my tapers, so I guesstimated as well as I could.

[[po...]]

Good evening Haimona. It is fairly common on this site to hear others struggle at the very low doses. It sounds crazy. I want to research this but I have not had the time to do this. I am 0.25 mg as of last night, down from 4 mg at the end of this past March.  Since 11/9 cutting down to 0.037 mg (of a 1 mg pill weighing an average 0.122 mg - this =a 0.30 mg dose).

 

I very recently made the decision to cut only 0.001 mg per night from here on in. The math can get complicated, and Luey and others know here I have gone through more cut formulas that I can remember. But my current method has been working about 3 months steadily. By cutting only 0.001 per day on my micro gram scale, it should take me 29 more days to get my dose down to 0.016 mg (or 0.02 mg rounded up). That's when my micro gram scale cannot measure any lower.

 

So far I am on a good run again of no nausea. I was up to 230 am last night completing a work project (I haven't done this late since I began my taper) and since I took my xanax and Ativan on time, not knowing the hours of work I would ultimately put in, I was scared to death the Ativan would not work. Bur it did and I slept. Lately no getting up to read and one time night eating. My book is due in two weeks and I had my hardest week at work this week and all went well. I hope I do not sabotage my success. My one concern is if I will cease to sleep well when my dose gets so low but I will cross that bridge when it comes, as I predict it will. Good night all. Keep on truckin'. Powerball.

 

[[Os...]]

Day 2 of zero.

 

The only sys is tinnitus, but it comes and goes and doesn’t hurt, it is just noticeable.  I’m ok with the idea that tinnitus may last a long time, I’d rather that than feel that Ativan anxiety again.

 

One of my observations is that Ativan would calm me down temporarily but it also made me capable of a level of hopelessness and dread that I’ve never experienced before.  So you get some relief but you pay a terrible price in that your “lows” are capable of being worse than you naturally could achieve.

 

I hope my posts will reduce fear from people who took Ativan for a few months and are concerned about tapering.  And maybe encourage patience too, because cold turkey is not worth the risk.  For some people, tapering over two months can work, and two months of patience is worth it to avoid cold turkey risk.

 

Also, it was empowering to go from refilling my Rx every 30 days, and wanting to pick up the refill, to the taper, when my last bottle seemed like I’d never fully use it.  Normally I would’ve run out on 10/31. But on the taper, the Rx I picked up on 10/1 is still with me, and has lots of medicine still in it.  That means I controlled Ativan, it didn’t control me.

 

I think everyone tapering should remember that empowerment.  The fact that you’re taking less than you could, less than a doctor would give you - that means you are stronger than the dependence.  Ativan isn’t about addiction, it is about physical dependency and having the strength and self discipline to eliminate a physical dependency that occurred without many of us knowing we were signing up for that.

 

The veterans on this thread are amazing people, and have shown the courage to reduce from long term of high dosage, and they also have helped us newcomers with their wisdom.  Thank you, thank you, thank you!

 

 

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Ospry777

So happy for you ! What a great post , I hope someday soon I will be were you are today .

And yes there are great people here .

Lisa

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Osprey 777 -- that's so AWESOME! What a great and inspiring post to read tonight. Thank you for sharing your success and optimism. Way to go! 

[[At...]]

Hey guys! So I’m in a very tough spot. I’ve been on Ativan for I would say about 2 months .5mg. Little to my knowledge I’ve been having an adverse reaction to it and then started feeling withdrawals while still taking it.

 

I accidentally cut 30% of my dose and am at .35mg when I started to feel the withdrawals that I mentioned. I’m suffering from really bad withdrawals but also really bad adverse reaction when I take it.

 

My main WD symptoms are (there’s a lot more):

Extreme anger (cussing out and yelling at family members) complete opposite of who I really am

Constant thoughts of doing very negative things to myself - again complete opposite of who I am

Cogfog and memory issues

Ear pressure

Numb burning face and body

Nausea

 

Adverse reaction symptoms are:

Increased energy

Acting completely delusional (speaking in made up languages and different accents) <—- crazy. I know. Tell me about it.

Akathisia

Increased anxiety

 

I’m thinking about dropping to .25mg to see if I can get rid of the adverse reaction side effects but am terrified of my wd symptoms. I’m just trying to get to a dose where I’m not having adverse reactions, can stabilize and slow taper from there. I am completely unstable at the moment would love to hold and try to stabilize.

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Hi Ativan Poison,

 

I am very sorry to hear you are experiencing such severe symptoms. Are you working with a psychiatrist who is supporting you?  I read back through some of your posts to get a better picture of what you are experiencing. I am so sorry to hear about how badly you are feeling.  I know how scary and debilitating it can be.

 

I see someone on the Withdrawal Support Board gave you a link to this Ativan Thread. I hope you don't feel like people are just passing you around. Sometimes I believe you need more help than we can give you on Benzobuddies.  We can offer you support and encouragement but not medical advice.

 

Some members of Benzobuddies are anti-psychiatry because of bad reactions to a medication, being poly-drugged, personal negative experiences or viewpoints.  I understand their position, nobody wants to be on medication if it can be avoided, especially if we have had bad reactions.  I am one of the people who needs treatment for severe "depression/anxiety," a real bio-chemical illness. Unfortunately it can take a lot of trial and error to find something that works.  There is still so much that is unknown about the brain.

 

Are you satisfied with your doctor?  (If you want to find a new psych doc. sometimes an experienced therapist, pharmacist or general practitioner might be able to suggest someone). Hopefully your doc. is someone who knows that benzos are not a long term solution, is educated (or at least willing to learn) about the real dangers of benzo dependency and how to support someone in doing an individualized slow taper. Someone who knows as much about getting people off as they know about putting people on meds.  Someone who seeks to treat with the least amount of medication. Someone who holistically supports your overall health.

 

I see from your other posts you recently had a bad reaction to an anti-depressant. I also had a bad reaction to anti-depressants.  They made me extremely ill and caused terrible anxiety.  I am currently taking Lamictal which seems to be helping but I am determined to get off Ativan. 

 

Is there a family member or someone close to you who is supportive?  Someone who can advocate for you if you need it. If you are in danger of self-harm, please talk to someone you trust. You mentioned going to the emergency room.  Most of us try to avoid the ER for good reasons, but sometimes it's the best option for getting immediate help.

 

Hang in there.  What you are experiencing is not permanent, there is help available and you will feel better.  Keep seeking the help you need. Please keep us posted.

 

Luey

[[po...]]

Ativan Poison. I also got very dependent on Ativan quickly, but covertly we know more about tapering these drugs than the docs. But most of us  need them to give us the dose to taper with. Let's face it. It has been renamed Biological Psychiatry for a reason.My psych doc is pretty good. We did try everything after my Ambien quit working suddenly (long story) and we had nothing left to do but the Benzos. He said I would get dependent on them but he did not tell me exactly what that meant, When he began tapering me he went from 4 mg to 3.5 mg and I freaked out and was very sick, so back up to 4. That was the end of March and somehow I found this group shortly after that and began to taper by listening to my body and listening to other's journeys. One we got down to just three regular people but we have sprung back!

 

Tonight I finally go to 0.24mg and it is shocking to me that I have now gone from 4 pills to less than a quarter of one. I still sleep pretty deeply and that is a miracle to me. I had some nausea to today but at least my appetite is no longer depressed. I told myself that when I hit less than 0.25mg I would go back to the gym. So here I go. Good night everyone. Powerball.

[[Ha...]]

I am so happy for you, Powerball! Getting under .25 and getting back to the gym are HUGE!   

And I agree we know more than the docs in some ways ... we are the ones experiencing what the benzos do to our brains and bodies, we are the ones living with the effects of the drugs and the withdrawal, we are the ones who are having to be brave enough to tough it out when it seems like everything has gone crazy and the anxiety is sky high and we are gritting our teeth and taking one step after another.  I am so glad I found this place where we get it and we can support each other.

 

Haimona

[[Pa...]]

After the failed hospital stay trying to go from 7mg to 1mg in 8 days I restarted at 5mg which was a big drop to start with anyway. I haven’t felt o.k. Since and that was 2months ago. I dropped to 4.75 for 4 weeks and have been at 4.5 now for 2 weeks. I wake with massive anxiety and my depression is getting worse. I am getting out each day, but spending a lot of time in bed watching tv and feel I’ve created a strong social anxiety when I do go out or in making plans to go out. It’s all anticipatory anxiety as I am o.k. When with people, but I feel just awful all the time as my anxiety causes dizziness, fogginess, eye issues, and complete nausea. Is it normal to get social anxiety and terrible fear where you never had fear before?

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After the failed hospital stay trying to go from 7mg to 1mg in 8 days I restarted at 5mg which was a big drop to start with anyway. I haven’t felt o.k. Since and that was 2months ago. I dropped to 4.75 for 4 weeks and have been at 4.5 now for 2 weeks. I wake with massive anxiety and my depression is getting worse. I am getting out each day, but spending a lot of time in bed watching tv and feel I’ve created a strong social anxiety when I do go out or in making plans to go out. It’s all anticipatory anxiety as I am o.k. When with people, but I feel just awful all the time as my anxiety causes dizziness, fogginess, eye issues, and complete nausea. Is it normal to get social anxiety and terrible fear where you never had fear before?

Hi Patriot,

 

It sounds like your body has been in shock ever since your hospital stay. I think it would be a good idea to hold until you feel better, waiting until you feel stable before continuing at a slower pace.  After you stabilize, maybe consider slowing down by micro-tapering either using liquid or dry cutting with a scale to weigh your doses. I would say the majority of us on this thread are micro-tapering to reduce the shock to our systems.

 

It's a good sign you feel better once you are out with people. If you can keep forcing yourself to get out as you have been doing, I believe it will help your recovery.  I know how hard it can be to overcome the anticipatory anxiety. I also have experienced social anxiety that is absolutely not normal for me. It seriously affected my life for many months. Only recently have I started to feel better and feel more "normal," motivated and confident to be with people.  I believe your anxiety and other symptoms will subside with a hold and slower taper.  It can take a lot of time, patience and perseverance.

 

Take good care,

 

Luey

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Tonight I finally go to 0.24mg and it is shocking to me that I have now gone from 4 pills to less than a quarter of one. I still sleep pretty deeply and that is a miracle to me. I had some nausea to today but at least my appetite is no longer depressed. I told myself that when I hit less than 0.25mg I would go back to the gym. So here I go. Good night everyone. Powerball.

1/4mg!!!  Awesome Powerball!!!  It's good to hear your taper continues to go smoothly! I think exercise is very helpful for sleep, probably a good idea to ease back into it. Buen trabajo PB! Luey

[[po...]]

Luey and Haimona. Well I decided with 13 days before my book is due to the publisher, I would just wait until that before I hit the gym which is practically next door.  I have been stressed mostly with my computer in and out of the shop with ALL my data sitting there on the hard drive. Yesterday, I decided to put it on Life Support until I could by a new one which I did. I did not plan to spend $780 bucks this weekend - at least computer prices have come down.

 

It is very strange how the nausea comes and goes. When I feel nauseated I am only interested in foods I have an interest in. I think my blood sugar then goes up and then I eat more at night. It is a battle, no?? It's funny that only my Benzo Buddies here know exactly what I am going through. My husband is sympathetic and supportive but he has no idea, really. I just told my dad I am off the Ambien, on something worse, but that I am getting off that. Then he starts talking about how someone did make his sub sandwich the right way. I told my best friend a little, but she is not fond of anyone taking any psych drugs (she is a nurse too), she is 100% Irish, so that explains some of that. We have been best friends for 20 years. No one knows, but those here. I really cannot share to anyone really, but here. I have done all I could do to taper and hold on (sometimes with varying degrees of difficulty) to the rhythms of work and life, and some joy some days. I am clawing my way back. Getting off this one Benzo is just one drug

 

Patriot, I am thinking about you too. I support what Luey was saying. We cannot tell if you are jumping down to a lower dose or tapering down. Personally, I could never jump down. I tried to when I first decided to get off, but it backfired. Get a microgram scale. I have used mine all the way down to my current dose, but I take mine once a day. If I had to cut three times a day I would have switched over to liquid. But most nights I can make my precise cut in about 10 minutes. Good night all. Sorry for all the et. al's. Powerball

[[Ma...]]

Good evening to all! I am so happy to hear of the ones who have jumped or been able to successfully taper down to small amounts, way to go and you give hope to the ones of us who are still tapering and struggling! Our group has gotten much larger, which I think it takes a village of support to get off these horrible meds and this is certainly the best place to be for support, guidance and just a listening ear!

 

I have really struggled with the time change and I thought I was just having a bad wave of symptoms, but I sent to see my psychiatrist this week and she told me that the time change has serious effects on any type of withdrawal.  She explained that as the days get shorter we have less exposure to natural sunlight which directly affects serotonin production, and levels drop which can affect our bodies in different ways.  My symptoms have been much better with adding Paxil but since the time change it seems as though I am going backwards.  So, my choices are risk skin cancer and get in our tanning bed each evening to see if that helps, up the Paxil or just ride it out.  Right now I am leaning towards just riding it out, but my headaches, dizziness and off balance feelings as well as general malaise and fatigue are beginning to get to me.  My psychiatrist assures me that I am doing things correctly and that I have to go slow because my system is so sensitive and notices every crumb I reduce. 

 

On a happy note, we FINALLY finished our kitchen remodel and it was stressful but I made it. 

 

My hope is that this group will be an invaluable source of comfort and advice for those new members, I know it has been for me! It is nice to feel that someone understands because trust me unless you are experiencing this you cannot possibly fathom what a person is going through. 

 

Blessings for healing and a good week ahead!

Maggie

[[At...]]

Anyone dose Ativan only once a day? I get adverse reactions with it and would rather just take it at night if possible while I taper.

[[At...]]

Powerball. That is so amazing and inspirational to hear that you’re below .25 and going to the gym!! CONGRATS!! Please let me know how the gym went!! How long has it been since you’ve gone??

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Maggie, I felt worse for the first few days after the time change. 

 

AtivanPoison, when I got really low the last few weeks of tapering I only took it once a day.