Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

[[Sa...]]

I'm in Macedonia, where there are no compounding pharmacies or liquid medications produced.

Forgot to say, the biggest pharmacy is doing "over the counter" but smaller pharmacies still asks for scripts.

Also, for Zamfexa XR (Effexor XR in US) there is no script needed at all. You can buy it without script in all pharmacies. 10$ for 30 pills.

 

Dready, I can't believe what I'm reading! Psychotropic drugs sold OTC...I'm rarely speechless.....

[[dr...]]

Yea, junkie paradise

 

Sad but true. When I go shopping meds every time there is at least one person buying diazepam. People are popping them up like candies.

[[Ki...]]

Dready - That makes me absolutely sick. Truly. 

 

Cosmic - The "hold" is over buddy....time to start cutting  I should also take my own advice.

 

Saga - Love you. Hate your doctor. 

 

 

[[Sh...]]

Hello!

 

Well i figured it was time for an update on my trip to AZ and my splitting the doses to 5x a day @ .30

 

I have also been toying with the idea of c/o as i am not sure i can handle 5 x a day of i/d w/d ( minimum 3x a day w/d )

Maybe i am still adjusting and have not stabilized yet. I am 1 week in and having a tough time with it.

I posted at the c/o Valium thread and will put most of it below...and take out parts that may not make sense based on other posts i made.

 

I would love some comments about what might be happening to me..Thx!

 

Well i made it to AZ and through my first day of filming the seminar.

 

recently Doing Lorazepam 5x @ .30 as recommended by the Ativan/ Lorazepam thread to get me stable.

Been about a week and i am not sure what stable is anymore.

 

Sometimes i feel ok and like i might be getting a bit better and stabilizing and the next thing i am whacked out.

I am getting interdose w/d and even on dose DP/DR bad....like i am on a LSD trip...then it gets better...then worse.

Not sure i can do this for a long time.

 

When i was taking 1 mg in AM and .5 in afternoon i had moments of lucidity of my old self. Like when the drug exited my system i could get w/d but sometimes not.... and when it was not ...it was like i was getting better. Oh those were sweet times... but terror would ultimately come again and i would start the roller coaster.

Now at 5x a day i just seem flat...and then bad....never those windows of hope. I miss them.

 

The drive here (16 hours ) was tough...glad it was the weekend where everyone was off the road. A few times i considered jumping out of the car and running...a little claustrophobic...and i dont remember ever being that way before LZP. I seem to be getting worse and different sxs the longer i am on this drug. 8 mths now

.

I thought about going into the woods with a supply of food for a month and cold turkey i want off these so bad.

 

I was so tired last night from the drive and set up of the seminar that i passed out and missed my last dose 11 PM ...BUT i slept 8 hours!!!  First time in 8 mths...it used to be the norm.  While on all the BP meds and Lorazepam i would be lucky to get 6 and as little as 3-4 a night. I would be tired all day but just couldnt get a nap in.

 

I woke up with minimal wd this morning (7/9)...ate a good breakfast and went by the pool in 100+ temps and felt great.

Then went in the classroom with many different types of lighting and i went LSD again. I put on some sunglasses after a while and it settled me down.

 

Is it unusual to get such visual distortion on these drugs while on them?

 

I seem to get them every time in w/d but even on them i get them bad but the drug helps me not consider it as much and it relaxes me and it usually is tolerable. But once it hits it is usually there the rest of the day and it tires me very quickly...so i am zombie-ish the rest of the day and on auto-pilot from then on out.

Wonder if this might be my Hashimotos...or something else?  or just plain LZP?

 

But i read that the Valium seems to help with a lot of what i am going through. And i don't have to worry and obsess over it 5 times a day which seems to make it worse...amplified.

 

I also wonder if my body got used to me taking the 1 mg in the morning and expects that big dose and now it is getting little morsels and my system is bucking like a bronco for the big dose?....is this part of stabilizing ?

 

Lastly i live in an extremely remote part of California and my Doctor wants to put me on Klonozepam instead of Lorazepam and i dont want to go that route. I am afraid he will say no to Valium if i suggest it as everytime i make a suggestion of what i want he gets angry and defensive and tells me i am on the internet too much and dont believe all the crap you read there. This is the same dr. who told me my Metoprolol w/d were in my head and he has never seen one problem with it in 25 years of practice. I said what about Lorazepam...and he said it can have mild withdrawals and have to take a couple of weeks to get off of it. I need a new Dr. who knows about this. So i am here in Scottsdale, AZ for 2 weeks and would love to find a Dr. who can help me c/o. I could also go to Las Vegas...and will pass through LA on my way back.

Any idea on how i can find out if there is a c/o friendly Dr. here or anywhere on my travels ?

 

Thanks for letting me spout off and any help is deeply appreciated

 

Cheers,

 

Mark

[[Ki...]]

Hi Mark - sorry about the way you are currently feeling, I will try and address everything in your post.

 

Firstly, there is a sticky on the main page of the site that is list of all benzo-wise doctors in the states. My suggestion would be to look there first and see if you can find someone that you can go to. Hopefully, you will have some success with that.

 

I am personally not a proponent of switching to Valium. That of course is my personal opinion. You have to make the decision based in your needs or whether or not you think you can stabilize. Just don't rush into anything. Even the Ashton Manual suggests tapering off your original benzo if possible, if not, then switch. I personally think you are still stabilizing. Also, I think it's imperative to keep in mind that stabilization does not mean symptom free. There are no free rides in benzo withdrawal. There are just as many people struggling with symptoms on V as there are on all the other ones. For me, playing with devil I knew, seemed like a safer bet. I would give Ativan a shot for another 3 weeks unless you find it unbearable. The symptoms that you are feeling aren't necessarily interdose withdrawal. They could just be "withdrawal" and you will likely feel that regardless of the drug your own. Whatever you decide, I support you. This is your body and your taper.

 

The DP/DR and vision distortion and light sensitivity are very common. I had them everyday until I go below .80mg - now they are light, or non exsistant most days. I know a few other people mentioned the same thing. It's a very weird and disconcerting feeling. Once I accepted that it was withdrawal and didn't panic about them they seemed to not be as intense. But like I said, once I got below a certain dose, it corrected itself a lot. I often still wear sunglasses when I go into big stores, the fluorescent lighting trips me out. Every.Time. 

 

Regarding c/t and going off into the woods for a month I would REALLY caution against that. I have often thought the same thing myself, except it's on a deserted island  The problem is that, especially with a c/t, a month would not be near long enough to get back to a state of good health. So you'd be your torturing your body and soul for nothing.

 

If you have any more questions....keep asking.  Sure Saga will come online shortly and answer you as well 

 

 

 

 

[[Sh...]]

Thanks so much Kiddo!

 

I am on a short break but wanted to respond and thank you for your thought out answers.

 

The best piece of news in your post is that some sxs may lessen at lower doses .80

 

My mind thinks these states are permanent and everything gets worse as the dose lowers.

I think it will keep getting much worse before it gets better and that makes the time i taper seem much longer and harder.

 

So if i have some hope that a symptom may lessen as i go lower...it keeps me going today

 

Thanks again!

 

Mark

[[Ki...]]

Hi Mark - well then I will encourage you some more....also gone or SIGNIFICANTlY lessened in intensity since getting lower in dose is:

 

- nerve burn (when your skin feels like there is battery acid on it)

- anxiety/panic

- DP/DR

- depression

- vibrations/tremors

 

A very uplifting and positive member who successfully withdrew from Ativan is LaserJet. I would search for his posts and read his stories. He was able to write a success story in less than 6 months and is doing awesome still. He is a wonderful, educated and supportive man. Laser had the same experience as me the lower he got in dose and so did Saga 

[[Sa...]]

Hello!

 

Well i figured it was time for an update on my trip to AZ and my splitting the doses to 5x a day @ .30

 

I have also been toying with the idea of c/o as i am not sure i can handle 5 x a day of i/d w/d ( minimum 3x a day w/d )

Maybe i am still adjusting and have not stabilized yet. I am 1 week in and having a tough time with it.

I posted at the c/o Valium thread and will put most of it below...and take out parts that may not make sense based on other posts i made.

 

I would love some comments about what might be happening to me..Thx!

 

Well i made it to AZ and through my first day of filming the seminar.

 

recently Doing Lorazepam 5x @ .30 as recommended by the Ativan/ Lorazepam thread to get me stable.

Been about a week and i am not sure what stable is anymore.

 

Sometimes i feel ok and like i might be getting a bit better and stabilizing and the next thing i am whacked out.

I am getting interdose w/d and even on dose DP/DR bad....like i am on a LSD trip...then it gets better...then worse.

Not sure i can do this for a long time.

 

When i was taking 1 mg in AM and .5 in afternoon i had moments of lucidity of my old self. Like when the drug exited my system i could get w/d but sometimes not.... and when it was not ...it was like i was getting better. Oh those were sweet times... but terror would ultimately come again and i would start the roller coaster.

Now at 5x a day i just seem flat...and then bad....never those windows of hope. I miss them.

 

The drive here (16 hours ) was tough...glad it was the weekend where everyone was off the road. A few times i considered jumping out of the car and running...a little claustrophobic...and i dont remember ever being that way before LZP. I seem to be getting worse and different sxs the longer i am on this drug. 8 mths now

.

I thought about going into the woods with a supply of food for a month and cold turkey i want off these so bad.

 

I was so tired last night from the drive and set up of the seminar that i passed out and missed my last dose 11 PM ...BUT i slept 8 hours!!!  First time in 8 mths...it used to be the norm.  While on all the BP meds and Lorazepam i would be lucky to get 6 and as little as 3-4 a night. I would be tired all day but just couldnt get a nap in.

 

I woke up with minimal wd this morning (7/9)...ate a good breakfast and went by the pool in 100+ temps and felt great.

Then went in the classroom with many different types of lighting and i went LSD again. I put on some sunglasses after a while and it settled me down.

 

Is it unusual to get such visual distortion on these drugs while on them?

 

I seem to get them every time in w/d but even on them i get them bad but the drug helps me not consider it as much and it relaxes me and it usually is tolerable. But once it hits it is usually there the rest of the day and it tires me very quickly...so i am zombie-ish the rest of the day and on auto-pilot from then on out.

Wonder if this might be my Hashimotos...or something else?  or just plain LZP?

 

But i read that the Valium seems to help with a lot of what i am going through. And i don't have to worry and obsess over it 5 times a day which seems to make it worse...amplified.

 

I also wonder if my body got used to me taking the 1 mg in the morning and expects that big dose and now it is getting little morsels and my system is bucking like a bronco for the big dose?....is this part of stabilizing ?

 

Lastly i live in an extremely remote part of California and my Doctor wants to put me on Klonozepam instead of Lorazepam and i dont want to go that route. I am afraid he will say no to Valium if i suggest it as everytime i make a suggestion of what i want he gets angry and defensive and tells me i am on the internet too much and dont believe all the crap you read there. This is the same dr. who told me my Metoprolol w/d were in my head and he has never seen one problem with it in 25 years of practice. I said what about Lorazepam...and he said it can have mild withdrawals and have to take a couple of weeks to get off of it. I need a new Dr. who knows about this. So i am here in Scottsdale, AZ for 2 weeks and would love to find a Dr. who can help me c/o. I could also go to Las Vegas...and will pass through LA on my way back.

Any idea on how i can find out if there is a c/o friendly Dr. here or anywhere on my travels ?

 

Thanks for letting me spout off and any help is deeply appreciated

 

Cheers,

 

Mark

 

Hi Mark ,

 

I'm glad you made the trip relatively well I went back to find your first post because I have some thoughts here...you were floating between 1.5/2.0 daily. I'm wondering if this could be part of the trouble. Just thinking out loud here. I know the suggestion was to try stabilizing at the lower amount. I'm not suggesting going up to 2.0 just offering a thought.

 

Everything you're describing are straight up w/d sxs. I definitely think you should give yourself another week minimum to adjust to the lower dose amount and the 5x dosing. I'm not convinced what you're describing is necessarily interdose.

 

Having said that, if you don't feel better, I'd switch to Valium rather than Klonopin. Do the research for the crossover, and take either Ashton's or Pearts plan to your Dr. Many people switch over when they can't taper their original benzo. I was prepared to do this as well.

 

I still have a lot of visual disturbances, I'll be happy when they resolve. I still have some DP/DR- your LSD experience. All of these things are disturbing but normal. This is a crazy trip, no doubt...

 

I like your idea but I'd prefer a taper and a desert island location, preferably for a year

 

Saga

[[Co...]]

I vouch that symptoms seem to lessen or dissappear as you go lower. For me, these have primarily been physical symptoms. For some reason my mental symptoms have flared up immensely.

Symptoms that have disappeared or eased up the lower I got:

-nerve burn, constant fatigue, jitters, tremors, nocturnal head flush, sleep starts, dizziness, visual and auditory distortions (lessened) and majority of the basics.

 

I can actually go out and play sports and other activities, which is a blessing. Don't know if some symptoms will reappear or not the lower I get.

[[Ki...]]

Cosmic - dont forget the "melting off face" Lmfao!!!!! Everytime I think of that I crack up all over again picturing your pdoc's face when you said it!!!!! 

[[Co...]]

Cosmic - dont forget the "melting off face" Lmfao!!!!! Everytime I think of that I crack up all over again picturing your pdoc's face when you said it!!!!! 

 

Hahahahaha oh yes. Melting off face sensations. Weirdly enough some of the most horrific and traumatizing physical symptoms were experienced at night. Also my nighttime seizure like sensations have disappeared for the time being. Man, just thinking of the fkn Shit I've been through I should be somewhat grateful for how I feel now. I remember I was getting an hour and a half of sleep a night. Generally, exactly 1 hour 30 minutes after I would go to sleep I would always wake up with a new fked up sensation.

I've also been woken up with my head bouncing around all over the place.

 

 

[[Ki...]]

Cosmic - face melting and head bouncing......are we having fun yet?!?!? 

 

(Sagas intellectual property....stolen 

[[Om...]]

Hey guys, Im new to the forum. I've got my basic plan of how I'm going to titrate, and was wondering if anyone here knew how well Ativan dissolves in vodka. Sophiasnana is using a 2mg vodka/98ml water solution and it seems to be working fine for her, although she has been thoroughly disturbing the solution prior to making her cut, and prior to separating her doses. Is this viable?

 

Also, I'm planning on doing a 1% cut per day (out of 1.5mg so the Ill be reducing at 0.015mg daily) How fast are you guys cutting?

 

 

[[Ki...]]

Hi Omni - welcome to the thread, and sorry you find yourself needing to be here. I'm not too familiar with daily liquid or making my own suspension/solution as I do dry cuts, cut and hold method. I cut around 5% a week, give or take.

 

1% a day sounds doable in theory, but you may find it fast. You'll have to try it out and see, but I suspect it may be difficult to keep that percentage up. Will you be implanting "hold" days. For example: cutting for x amount of days then holding for x amount of days? If I'm not mistaken most people doing daily titration have days that they hold to let their cuts catch up.

 

Don't be afraid to try things. You may be able to go faster, you may need to slow down. We are all so different in that regard.

 

I wish you luck. Other members of this thread will chime in shortly. GreenIrishTweed and CosmicMinds are both titrating daily so hopefully they will be of some help.

 

Keep posting to let us know how your doing 

[[Om...]]

Thanks for the quick reply and welcome! Ive only been on Ativan for about 4 months. I tried cutting .25mg out of my 1.5mg and was able to hold for 4 days until symptoms caught up, then I was back up to a full dose. The cut before that I did a 50% cut across the board and was in hell for 2 weeks.

 

I don't understand why my body is dependent on it after such short term use. I was on 3mg Klonopin for years on 2 different occasions and was able to cold turkey with no w/d. I wish I could do that with this poison.

 

SG was advising a .002mg starting taper, but that would take ages.I only have 4 scripts left and no guarantee that my doc will give me more, so I'm trying to work with what I've got.

 

Im hoping my body will hold up to 1% a day, but if I start getting too bad, Ill initiate a hold.

 

Maybe CosmicMinds and GreenIrishTweed will have some insight

[[Ki...]]

Omni - Cosmic was in a very similar situation with limited prescriptions and a short term user as well. I think part of the problem is not so much the Ativan per se but the fact this is your third round of benzo use. IMO thats why this withdrawal is so much tougher, I believe if you ended up back on Klonopin instead of Ativan the results would have been the same.

 

The too large cuts you made at the beginning is the same thing I did. I was in a world of hurt as well. Those drops proved way too late for my CNS to handle....but again everyone is so different it's hard to make sense out of anything.

 

I was put on Ativan during a 10 day hospital stay for a leg injury, prescribed as a muscle relaxer. Here I am 5 months later and down to .68mg from 2mg. It's like the never ending story. 

[[Pe...]]

So ive been on.5mg ativan for about 4 months now and taking .5mg split into four doses a day. I couldnot tolerate it when i gotdown to .35mg split it o fourdoses. I dont know if i titrated down to fast or if i developed tolerance or if my cuts were too innacurate.

 

I got my doctor to give me valium and have now gone back to my starting dose of .5mg ativan split into four doses and trying to crossover to valium taking 1/8 of 5mg pill at night. Its been about 1.5 weeks and the valium is helping the ativan wd shmptoms but also giving me other new symptoms like severe fatigue, feel like im losimg my mind (REAALY FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO SNAP), amnesia, and som e occasional migraines. 

 

Should i continue with the valium or try and taper off ativan again , but with liquid compound since my dose is so small. Or is there a differnt crosover benzo i could try?

 

Im feeling really hopeless and stuck.

 

Is it possible to even taper off ativan alone

[[Co...]]

Thanks for the quick reply and welcome! Ive only been on Ativan for about 4 months. I tried cutting .25mg out of my 1.5mg and was able to hold for 4 days until symptoms caught up, then I was back up to a full dose. The cut before that I did a 50% cut across the board and was in hell for 2 weeks.

 

I don't understand why my body is dependent on it after such short term use. I was on 3mg Klonopin for years on 2 different occasions and was able to cold turkey with no w/d. I wish I could do that with this poison.

 

SG was advising a .002mg starting taper, but that would take ages.I only have 4 scripts left and no guarantee that my doc will give me more, so I'm trying to work with what I've got.

 

Im hoping my body will hold up to 1% a day, but if I start getting too bad, Ill initiate a hold.

 

Maybe CosmicMinds and GreenIrishTweed will have some insight

 

You need to be cautious with daily cuts, if the drops are too large you won't notice till it catches up. And it won't be pretty

[[Co...]]

I'm really starting to lose my visual clarity. Is this something that's permanent? I was 20 20 and I'm having trouble focusing in on anything 2 meters away

[[Sa...]]

Thanks for the quick reply and welcome! Ive only been on Ativan for about 4 months. I tried cutting .25mg out of my 1.5mg and was able to hold for 4 days until symptoms caught up, then I was back up to a full dose. The cut before that I did a 50% cut across the board and was in hell for 2 weeks.

 

I don't understand why my body is dependent on it after such short term use. I was on 3mg Klonopin for years on 2 different occasions and was able to cold turkey with no w/d. I wish I could do that with this poison.

 

SG was advising a .002mg starting taper, but that would take ages.I only have 4 scripts left and no guarantee that my doc will give me more, so I'm trying to work with what I've got.

 

Im hoping my body will hold up to 1% a day, but if I start getting too bad, Ill initiate a hold.

 

Maybe CosmicMinds and GreenIrishTweed will have some insight

 

Hi Omni,

 

Welcome to the thread! I'm sorry I can't really add to the daily taper rate or plan, I did a cut and hold myself. As Kiddo said there are several people doing a daily liquid taper, hopefully someone will chime in with some input.

 

As already pointed out, there are probably several reasons for your difficulty this time, this is your 3 rd go round with benzos. I'm sorry you've found this time to be very different, from what I understand, that's very common. Dependence can happen quite fast.

 

The only advice I'd have about tapering is to try a smaller rate first, if you can handle it, then maybe consider changing the rate. This is all about adaptation.

 

I'm sorry you find yourself here, I hope someone jumps in with advice.

 

Saga

[[Sa...]]

So ive been on.5mg ativan for about 4 months now and taking .5mg split into four doses a day. I couldnot tolerate it when i gotdown to .35mg split it o fourdoses. I dont know if i titrated down to fast or if i developed tolerance or if my cuts were too innacurate.

 

I got my doctor to give me valium and have now gone back to my starting dose of .5mg ativan split into four doses and trying to crossover to valium taking 1/8 of 5mg pill at night. Its been about 1.5 weeks and the valium is helping the ativan wd shmptoms but also giving me other new symptoms like severe fatigue, feel like im losimg my mind (REAALY FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO SNAP), amnesia, and som e occasional migraines. 

 

Should i continue with the valium or try and taper off ativan again , but with liquid compound since my dose is so small. Or is there a differnt crosover benzo i could try?

 

Im feeling really hopeless and stuck.

 

Is it possible to even taper off ativan alone

 

Hi Peace,

 

You're in the middle of a crossover, right?  I'm sorry you're struggling. I honestly don't have any knowledge about crossovers. I'm not sure if you're simply developing new sxs, or if it's the effects of the Valium.

 

I also have to say I don't know how you can stop the Valium and stay on the Ativan. I suppose a lot would depend exactly where you are in the crossover process.

 

If you chose to switch to Valium, I'm sure there was a reason. That reason is still valid, right? In other words, if you stopped the Valium your original reason for crossing is still valid. Interdose?

 

I would seriously post on the Valium thread. There are so many people who can help with the crossover and concerns you have about Valium.

 

I'm sorry you're not feeling well...

 

Saga

[[Sa...]]

I'm really starting to lose my visual clarity. Is this something that's permanent? I was 20 20 and I'm having trouble focusing in on anything 2 meters away

 

Hi Cosmic,

 

Don't panic! Panic makes everything worse, trust me! I have a lot of trouble with my vision from day to day. I know it's the benzos, some days are better than others.

 

I fully expect this to resolve itself with time

 

Saga

[[Ki...]]

Peace - I'm sorry you are getting hit so hard with symptoms. It's hard to say what is causing them as you have a lot going on right now with dropping Ativan, then upping the Ativan to cross over to Valium. You CNS is trying to find a balance. I agree with Saga, since we are all Ativan users, we don't have a lot of advice about V so your best bet would be to post on that thread for advice.

 

Was the issues you were having interdose or just symptomatic from your cuts?

How far are you into your cross-over?

 

Cosmic - I've had blurry vision and painfully dry eyes since the start. It's a common problem from what I've read. Try not to let it upset you. It will wax and wane like the rest of the shitty symptoms.

 

Saga - Your beautiful 

 

 

[[Co...]]

I'm back in a world of hurt after a 0.01 drop. Heavy head vibrations and my skin is melting off lol. Caca sleep last night. I really hope I'm going to get some relief soon.

[[Ki...]]

Cosmic - You will get relief. You always do.