When Does the Depression Begin to Lift

[[Kh...]]

My 16 week planned taper is coming to an end in 7-10 days.  I switched from Xanax to Valium.  I did not have a lot of the textbook symptoms.  Taper was smooth ---except  I had tinnitus from an ear infection right about the time I realized I had become tolerant to my Xanax dosage.  And it still plagues me.  About 4 weeks later I figured out I should taper and get off.  The Valium switch was pretty easy but that stuff sure brought me down and coupled with tinnitus that is likely to be exacerbated by the taper/withdrawal, I surely am depressed.  No mood to go do anything.  I am functional, I go out and shop for groceries, go for PT, help my wife around the house, but I really dont like getting out of bed, just no energy/motivation.  It must be the drugs.  Anyone have same experience and when does it get  better?  You all know there are times when we feel we cant go on   My Psych says after about 5 half lives - 20 days, the drugs should be out of the body.  That said,  i know recovery will take longer.  Need some inspiration.

   

Edited January 29 by [Kh...]

[[Th...]]

Unfortunately it doesn't matter when your psych says the drugs will be out of your system.  The damage has already been done to your GABA receptors regardless of when the drugs are "out of your system," and they need time to heal.  I went to 4 ER doctor and 2 psychologists over a 6 week period and 5 of the 6 said "the drugs are out of your system, so they can't be causing your symptoms."  However, the EXACT OPPOSITE is true. No one knows how much time you'll need, but you seem to be in a better place than most people at this point in your healing and recovery journey?  How much were you on and for how long?  I did not taper, but did a CT so I don't have any experience tapering, but 16 weeks seems very fast considering Ashton recommends cutting 5 to 10% of your current dose every 2 weeks or so. 

That's the million dollar question, when will I feel better?  No one can answer that with any sort of accuracy, but Ashton says 6-12 months for most symptoms and but many see significant relief around month 18.  That doesn't mean you suffer for 6, 12 or 18 months then symptoms disappear overnight.  It's a very nonlinear, slow gradual process that is a roller coaster ride.  It seems like 1 step forward then 3 steps back at times.  Symptoms and intensity wax and wane.  Some symptoms might disappear only to have new symptoms appear.  Eventually they fade and end given enough time.   

[[Kh...]]

20 minutes ago, [[T...] said:

Unfortunately it doesn't matter when your psych says the drugs will be out of your system.  The damage has already been done to your GABA receptors regardless of when the drugs are "out of your system," and they need time to heal.  I went to 4 ER doctor and 2 psychologists over a 6 week period and 5 of the 6 said "the drugs are out of your system, so they can't be causing your symptoms."  However, the EXACT OPPOSITE is true. No one knows how much time you'll need, but you seem to be in a better place than most people at this point in your healing and recovery journey?  How much were you on and for how long?  I did not taper, but did a CT so I don't have any experience tapering, but 16 weeks seems very fast considering Ashton recommends cutting 5 to 10% of your current dose every 2 weeks or so. 

That's the million dollar question, when will I feel better?  No one can answer that with any sort of accuracy, but Ashton says 6-12 months for most symptoms and but many see significant relief around month 18.  That doesn't mean you suffer for 6, 12 or 18 months then symptoms disappear overnight.  It's a very nonlinear, slow gradual process that is a roller coaster ride.  It seems like 1 step forward then 3 steps back at times.  Symptoms and intensity wax and wane.  Some symptoms might disappear only to have new symptoms appear.  Eventually they fade and end given enough time.   

Yea I get it…recovery takes time.  🙏

[[ch...]]

Hang in there. You're doing great. Everything will be okay.

[[Kh...]]

8 hours ago, [[c...] said:

Hang in there. You're doing great. Everything will be okay.

Thanks… but my tinnitus is driving me mad.  I will be off the drug soon but this does not seem to matter as being drug free does not equal recovered.  Struggling immensely with loud ringing.  No other symptoms…other than depression but if the ringing went away I am pretty sure I would be in a better place. Headed to audiologist in in 3 weeks if I can survive that long. 

[[Th...]]

I had tinnitus for most of my withdrawal.  It eventually faded and went away.  There's not much an audiologist can do for Benzo-induced tinnitus.  Good luck.

[[Kh...]]

16 hours ago, [[T...] said:

I had tinnitus for most of my withdrawal.  It eventually faded and went away.  There's not much an audiologist can do for Benzo-induced tinnitus.  Good luck.

I am not certain it is benzo induced.  An audiologist can help with hearing aids if you have hearing loss ( I have some at higher frequencies - 5% they say?) and these aids can also provide sound masking to alleviate sound and related anxiety.  Also, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is known to help cope.   These tools could be useful in the interim and should the T last longer at least one might have something to help.  I plan to try them all.  I hope u are right and this is withdrawal related  -that would make me much more hopeful.

[[...]]

I don’t know about you, but here in Ukraine, doctors don’t even know and don’t believe that there is an addiction to benzodiazepines, they prescribe it to everyone, and then you don’t even need to go for a prescription since here Pharmacies sell prescription drugs without a prescription without any problems. I don’t know whether this is good or bad. In my case, it’s bad because in 2011 my doctor prescribed me a benzodiazepine for 14 days. And if I could not buy it without a prescription, I would not continue to drink it and would not become addicted. So something like this.

[[Kh...]]

On 29/01/2024 at 05:06, [[T...] said:

Unfortunately it doesn't matter when your psych says the drugs will be out of your system.  The damage has already been done to your GABA receptors regardless of when the drugs are "out of your system," and they need time to heal.  I went to 4 ER doctor and 2 psychologists over a 6 week period and 5 of the 6 said "the drugs are out of your system, so they can't be causing your symptoms."  However, the EXACT OPPOSITE is true. No one knows how much time you'll need, but you seem to be in a better place than most people at this point in your healing and recovery journey?  How much were you on and for how long?  I did not taper, but did a CT so I don't have any experience tapering, but 16 weeks seems very fast considering Ashton recommends cutting 5 to 10% of your current dose every 2 weeks or so. 

That's the million dollar question, when will I feel better?  No one can answer that with any sort of accuracy, but Ashton says 6-12 months for most symptoms and but many see significant relief around month 18.  That doesn't mean you suffer for 6, 12 or 18 months then symptoms disappear overnight.  It's a very nonlinear, slow gradual process that is a roller coaster ride.  It seems like 1 step forward then 3 steps back at times.  Symptoms and intensity wax and wane.  Some symptoms might disappear only to have new symptoms appear.  Eventually they fade and end given enough time.   

Hey there friend - saw my psych again - curious what you might think.  I asked her how long does it take for GABA receptors to heal.  She had some calc I did not thoroughly understand (shes thai so some language barrier maybe).  But she said in my case she thought 3-6 months would be a good time frame.  Is this just another SWAG and it really depends on many, many factors?  I would certainly have a bunch of hope if I had some time frame to look to.  I am guessing its really more of a wait and see.  Thanks in advance for your input.     

[[Re...]]

@[Kh...] Reading your previous post, honestly I would be very very positive about my healing. You have been functional, helping around the house, fulfilling your duties.

There is no one who can tell you how long this lasts, you know that. But you come through as pretty functional to me. This is extremely good news!! I think you should be gentle to yourself, avoid major triggers for a while (but participate in life). 

So, keep up the good job, you are doing great! 

[[Kh...]]

Just now, [[R...] said:

@[Kh...] Reading your previous post, honestly I would be very very positive about my healing. You have been functional, helping around the house, fulfilling your duties.

There is no one who can tell you how long this lasts, you know that. But you come through as pretty functional to me. This is extremely good news!! I think you should be gentle to yourself, avoid major triggers for a while (but participate in life). 

So, keep up the good job, you are doing great! 

Thanks so much RR.  I really feel like on one the hand its been good, but on the other hand, I am depressed and lack motivation, etc.  Also this tinnitus is really bringing me down - and I truly believe it is from a vaccine I received and had a weird sinus/aural reaction just a few days after.  Drs dismiss this cuz they dont know.  So I am thinking it is permanent which is really getting me down on top of the taper.  SO many unknowns.  I just hope that after a few weeks of being off things normalize to some degree.  Been down for 6-7 months now.  Been thru abusing Xanax, becoming tolerant, sinus surgery in the middle of it all, and tinnitus thru the whole period.  Appreciate you checking in and supporting me.  Dont mean to complain so much but on outlet helps.  Thanks.

[[Kh...]]

8 minutes ago, [[R...] said:

@[Kh...] Reading your previous post, honestly I would be very very positive about my healing. You have been functional, helping around the house, fulfilling your duties.

There is no one who can tell you how long this lasts, you know that. But you come through as pretty functional to me. This is extremely good news!! I think you should be gentle to yourself, avoid major triggers for a while (but participate in life). 

So, keep up the good job, you are doing great! 

By the way - how are you doing? Just checked your profile I see Xanax.  What an evil drug.  Looks like you kicked it!  Are u doing well?

[[Re...]]

Oh I think it is okay to vent from time to time (between certain boundaries)!

My Dad has tinnitus and I have it since post jump, it is really bothersome and I really see why you are upset, but for you and me it will eventually dissipate with time. I would search this site what people do against tinnitus, some people use white noise machine or certain apps. I watch series, or podcasts, these help a lot with the perceived sensation. It is not worth taking meds (may rev one up), I think, it really should be an upward process if it is benzo related . /I watch Better Call Saul now/

I am having a more difficult time lately, as many others mainly in the morning. I have practically zero stress tolerance, heart is pounding for no reason, have agoraphobia still, nausea and head pressure. I am 8 months off, but I have had some better times, really. I still think I will be forever thankful for BBs, I don't know what I would do without the information I got here, seriously. 

Hang in there, @[Kh...]! The uncertainty in this thing is the most difficult, I know. But we are getting there, I promise! 

 

Edited February 6 by [Re...]
Correction

[[Kh...]]

3 minutes ago, [[R...] said:

Oh  I think it is okay to vent from time to time (between certain boundaries)!

My Dad has tinnitus and I have it since post jump, it is really bothersome and I really see why you are upset, but for you and me it will eventually dissipate with time. I would search this site what people do against tinnitus, some people use white noise machine or certain apps. I watch series, or podcasts, these help a lot with the perceived sensation. It is not worth taking meds (may rev one up), I think, it really should be an upward process. /I watch Better Call Saul now/

I am having a more difficult time lately, as many others mainly in the morning. I have practically zero stress tolerance, heart is pounding for no reason, have agoraphobia still, nausea and head pressure. I am 8 months off, but I have had some better times, really. I still think I will be forever thankful for BBs, I don't know what I would do without the information I got here, seriously. 

Hang in there, @[Kh...]! The uncertainty in this thing is the most difficult, I know. But we are getting there, I promise! 

Thanks my friend.  Wishing you all the best, and a swift and speedy recovery.   Better call Saul is a good one!

Edited February 6 by [Kh...]

[[Pi...]]

I'm 20 months CT and 68 years old. Mornings are still riddled with intense joint and muscle pain but I will get periods where it's not too bad then it comes back. Exercise feels good but intensifies symptoms a day or two after. Fear, depression and physical pain comes and goes sometimes hourly then passes. A lot of burning eyes and blurred vision. Energy level is finally starting to improve a little. Never had the tinnitus issue. Figure that out?? Sounds to me like your progressing very well actually. Stay away from the doctor's and their opinions. they don't have a clue. Pill pushers. If your having burning eye issues Amazon sells small heat masks that get the oils in your eye's moving. Benzo's wreak havoc with the little glands that secrete the oils to lubricate your eyes. This has been a very effective therapy for me. Inexpensive $30 to $40 dollars.

[[Kh...]]

OMG….finally off.  Tapered all the way down to .25 mg Valium and the jumped.  Stretched taper to 4 months. Experiencing wild ear issues and severe depression.  So sad do t want to be here, don’t know how to leave.  Never imagined it would get this bad ?  

[[Re...]]

Congratulations on being off, @[Kh...]! Are you still able to function? 

[[Kh...]]

Yes but man I feel like shit.  SI everyday.  I can go do things, but don’t want to.  Traveling from Asia back to US today.  I am not sure being off is better than being on.  I really wonder how long this fog will last.  I can go out and have “fun” play golf etc, but when I get home I just want to curl up and sleep hoping not to awake.  Don’t know if this is normal and will see psych when home.  I am certain they will want to put me on AD’s 

[[Kh...]]

Just wish and hope that in a week or two some normalization returns…I just never thought I would be in this position in m y life that I am thinking I can’t go any further. 

[[Re...]]

I can not give you medical advice, @[Kh...], but I am avoiding ADs and even supplements. Believe me I know it feels bad, and this is not you!

These thoughts are popping into our heads relentless, with emotions we never normally experience, totally unwanted. Let them go, which I accomplish usually with doing something (anything!) that gets my attention. 

[[Re...]]

How long did you hold the. 25?

[[Kh...]]

1 minute ago, [[R...] said:

I can not give you medical advice, @[Kh...], but I am avoiding ADs and even supplements. Believe me I know it feels bad, and this is not you!

These thoughts are popping into our heads relentless, with emotions we never normally experience, totally unwanted. Let them go, which I accomplish usually with doing something (anything!) that gets my attention. 

Don’t know how to let them go because the physical discomfort in my ears with pressure and ringing is relentless.   

[[Kh...]]

3 minutes ago, [[R...] said:

How long did you hold the. 25?

One week…my history has all my moves.  I know some would say I went too fast but Ashton suggested moving at .5mg increments. I thought taper was reasonable.  Only experienced the ear issues…nothing else really.  HaD a stiff neck but think it was from a bad sleep, Pt resolved.  No clue how my ears will resolve. 

Edited February 14 by [Kh...]

[[Kh...]]

Insufferable. 

[[Kh...]]

It is so hard for me to imaging my .5 mg usage of Xanax over the years has resulted in this