Dry bar comedy And joke

[[An...]]

[[Gr...]]

I wonder who has been sneaking in my chicken coop 🐔

[[Gr...]]

21 minutes ago, [[A...] said:

 

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2 hours ago, [[A...] said:

Very much like this one🤩 And soo true the words...)

Edited April 11 by [...]

[[An...]]

[[Gr...]]

Hope everyone has a great Friday and big windows over the weekend. 😎

 

I was going to tell y’all a joke today about boxing 🥊,,,, But I kept forgetting the     ( punchline )! 

Edited April 12 by [Gr...]

[[...]]

1 hour ago, [[G...] said:

Hope everyone has a great Friday and big windows over the weekend. 😎

I was going to tell y’all a joke today about boxing 🥊,,,, But I kept forgetting punchline.

Grateful, It's only expectable. Brain is busy finishing its great repair. A bit later))

[[An...]]

[[An...]]

These young kids today <smh> 😁

[[An...]]

[[Gr...]]

When you’re sad and you need to laugh, just remember somewhere in the world someone is pulling on a door that says push. '
 

enjoy your weekend everyone keep the windows open! 
 

 

[[An...]]

 

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband is not in bed.

She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.'

What's the matter, dear' she whispers as she steps into the room, 'Why are you down here at this time of night

The husband looks up from his coffee, 'It's the 20th Anniversary of the day we met'.

She can't believe he has remembered and starts to tear up.

The husband continues, 'Do you remember 20 years ago when we started dating, I was 18 and you were only 16,' he says solemnly.

Once again, the wife is touched to tears. 'Yes, I do' she replies.

The husband pauses

The words were not coming easily.

'Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car'

'Yes, I remember' said the wife, lowering herself into the chair beside him.

The husband continued.

'Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter or I will send you to prison for 20 years''

I remember that, too' she replied softly.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said "I would have gotten out today."

 

 

[[be...]]

[[Gr...]]

Hope everybody has a good Monday,  😎

[[An...]]

 

A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher.

He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!"

The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs......

"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"

 

[[Gr...]]

Hope everybody enjoys their Tuesday. 🤣

 

 

[[An...]]

 

Three women die and go to heaven.

When they get there, St. Peter says: “We only have one rule here in heaven: don’t step on the ducks!”

So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw. St. Peter chains them together and says: “Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this man!”

The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn’t miss a thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first woman.

The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very careful where she steps.

She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on. He’s tall, long eyelashes, muscular, and thin. St. Peter chains them together without saying a word.

The happy woman says: “I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?”

The guy says: “I don’t know about you, but I stepped on a duck!”

 

[[An...]]

[[Gr...]]

Hope everybody has wonderful Wednesday. 🐸
 

 

[[An...]]

[[An...]]

[[be...]]

[[An...]]

36 minutes ago, [[b...] said:

LMFAO @[be...], the joys of getting older.

[[An...]]

[[An...]]

If your house is cold, just stand in the corner. It’s always 90 degrees there.  😁