95% Healed after 14 Months. Healing is REAL!

[[Be...]]

Let me start by saying I now understand why there aren't many success stories out there. It's because people heal and simply move on with their lives. It's NOT because they never healed. The reality is, sitting down and writing about their benzo struggles just isn't on their list of priorities. I know this because I am in that position now. I could easily avoid doing this, however, I promised myself a long time ago that I would write a success story in the hope that it helps even just one person out there. I used this forum a lot in the early months of withdrawal which I'm grateful for and I now owe it to myself and others here to contribute a message of hope. Healing is REAL and everybody who is unfortunate enough to go through this journey WILL heal. It just takes time.

I won't make this too long. I'll try and keep it as simple as I can. After 14 months I feel 95% healed. I have a few lingering symptoms which don't bother me much at all, but they're still there, and that's why I don't consider myself 100% healed yet. However, I'm fully confident that I'll reach 100% with a bit more time. I live my life as normal and I'm well and truly entering the final stages of my healing journey. In fact, I don't really think too much about my journey anymore. I just feel like I'm on the other side of it all and now's the right time to put this in the past and move forward.

There's no need to discuss symptoms and go into detail about everything. Everyone here has read enough stories. My story is the same as many others. I suffered, it was a painful experience, but things got better. It was a slow and gradual process. The only thing that heals us is TIME. Healing is inevitable for all of us, even if you're in a situation where that's hard to believe right now, trust me when I say you WILL heal. But let me say it openly and honestly: there is no shortcut or miracle cure. The only way out is through. Our brains are recalibrating. There is zero physical damage (even though it feels like it), every symptom we experience is due to the CNS being in an overstimulated and fragile state. It's cruel how long it takes to recover - trust me I know - but try to avoid all medications/substances, you will only be prolonging the suffering.

Feel free to ask any questions, I will do my best to answer them. This experience moulds us into seriously tough warriors. We are all much stronger than we realise. I actually find general life problems much easier to deal with now after going through benzo hell. It gives us a big advantage in life, it's almost like a superpower. I appreciate things so much more than I used to. I value my health and my sobriety and I don't take anything for granted. I don't think there's many things in life that can compare to the ordeal of getting off benzos, so once we make it through this, we can make it through anything. Just keep fighting and never give up. Recovery takes time but the other side is truly worth it.

[[de...]]

@[Be...]  Thanks so much for coming back and sharing your success story.   I know it will be encouraging to lots of those who are still struggling and wondering if they will ever heal.         All the best to you!

[[An...]]

This is a wonderful success story and beautifully written. Thanks @[Be...] for sharing. I took a quick glance at your profile and your initial posts to get a summary backstory. 95% recovered is really good from 2 years on Xanax at 3 MGS.

The remaining 5%......... Could you please elaborate a little on what is left bothering you? Also, what problem did you start taking Xanax for?

[[me...]]

Hi Bengalcat.  Congratulations a lovely story. Gives me hope  

Just started my journey thankyou🥂🙏

[[Gr...]]

@[Be...] That's so wonderful you are feeling so healed. You say 95% at 14 months. For a lot of us newbies 14 mos seems like eternity. Every day for us seems lije forever. You know, you were there. Do you remember when you were maybe 50%? It's over 2 months for me and I am struggling. Thank you

[[He...]]

I'm hopeful after reading your story. After tapering for 2.5 years, I've been benzo free for 75 days and I'm feeling really terrible. I was so naive to think that I would be feeling better by this point. I have terrible nausea, headaches, heart palpitations, sweating, crying, rage and several more symptoms. I was on benzos for 20+ years so I guess it's going to take time for my CNS to get back to "normal". I think what I've been feeling is probably in line with what is expected. Is it fair to say it's going to take at least a year to get thru this and possibly more time? Is it too soon to say I'm experiencing protracted withdrawal syndrome?

[[An...]]

5 minutes ago, [[G...] said:

@[Be...] That's so wonderful you are feeling so healed. You say 95% at 14 months. For a lot of us newbies 14 mos seems like eternity. Every day for us seems lije forever. You know, you were there. Do you remember when you were maybe 50%? It's over 2 months for me and I am struggling. Thank you

@Grace, this should give you hope....me too. It does take patience. Sounds cliche I know but time off is really the only way to recover from the benzo w/d syndrome. When you are in horrible daily pain, this waiting period is a lot easier said than done. This is why these support forums like BenzoBuddies are so helpful during the painful recovery phase. You can connect with other ppl who can truly empathize.

[[Du...]]

@[Be...]

This must be the Succes story that resonates most with me so far. Thank you and congrats on the accomplishment of being almost completely healed. One day I will Wright one.. One day... 

[[Be...]]

4 hours ago, [[d...] said:

@[Be...]  Thanks so much for coming back and sharing your success story.   I know it will be encouraging to lots of those who are still struggling and wondering if they will ever heal.         All the best to you!

Thank you so much! @[de...]
I know there's a lot of people struggling out there. I remember what it was like in the early months. I spent all day, every day, reading people's stories. The least I can do is offer a hopeful story to those feeling desperate right now. 

[[Be...]]

2 hours ago, [[A...] said:

This is a wonderful success story and beautifully written. Thanks @[Be...] for sharing. I took a quick glance at your profile and your initial posts to get a summary backstory. 95% recovered is really good from 2 years on Xanax at 3 MGS.

The remaining 5%......... Could you please elaborate a little on what is left bothering you? Also, what problem did you start taking Xanax for?

Thank you! @[An...]

I would describe the remaining 5% as two mild symptoms. One of them being small surges of energy in my body as I'm about to fall asleep (they used to be full-on hypnic jerks which were awful). The other being general cognitive issues. My memory is poor and sometimes I get lost in the middle of a sentence trying to think of the right word to use. I get some anxiety and depression too but that's something that was there pre-benzos anyway.

I started taking it for anxiety but I was never prescribed it. I always bought it myself online. I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I started taking xanax. I then spent the next two years of my life trying to get off it. Never seeked any medical supervision the whole time. I just had the attitude of: "I've got myself into this situation so it's up to me to get myself out of it." I never trusted doctors to take benzo damage seriously anyway.

[[Be...]]

2 hours ago, [[m...] said:

Hi Bengalcat.  Congratulations a lovely story. Gives me hope  

Just started my journey thankyou🥂🙏

Thank you! @[me...]

I wish you all the best in your journey. Don't be discouraged by the twists and turns along the way. It's a rollercoaster but with time you'll see improvement.

[[Be...]]

2 hours ago, [[G...] said:

@[Be...] That's so wonderful you are feeling so healed. You say 95% at 14 months. For a lot of us newbies 14 mos seems like eternity. Every day for us seems lije forever. You know, you were there. Do you remember when you were maybe 50%? It's over 2 months for me and I am struggling. Thank you

It might seem like an eternity now @[Gr...] but one day you'll look back and see it was just a small chapter in your life, not an eternity. Hang in there. It gets better and easier with time. I can't remember exactly when I felt 50%. But I can remember having significant turning points at month 4, 7 and 10. Month 7 was a real positive shift. That's when the waves got less and less frequent and I was having a lot more windows. Stay strong!

[[gr...]]

I like that you take responsibility for being in your situation. Not really angry with my doctor, after 15 months of WD from years of K dependence. Kept going back for prescription refills and knew in my heart I should not be taking them anymore. Feeling a little better every day and my sleep is much improved!

[[Be...]]

2 hours ago, [[H...] said:

I'm hopeful after reading your story. After tapering for 2.5 years, I've been benzo free for 75 days and I'm feeling really terrible. I was so naive to think that I would be feeling better by this point. I have terrible nausea, headaches, heart palpitations, sweating, crying, rage and several more symptoms. I was on benzos for 20+ years so I guess it's going to take time for my CNS to get back to "normal". I think what I've been feeling is probably in line with what is expected. Is it fair to say it's going to take at least a year to get thru this and possibly more time? Is it too soon to say I'm experiencing protracted withdrawal syndrome?

Hello @[He...] I'm sorry you're suffering so much. Congratulations on being benzo-free. 20 years is a long time, unfortunately it's going to take some time to recover. I don't wish to make any predictions because everyone is different, but in my own honest opinion, yes it's fair to say it could take a year or more. What you're feeling now is a normal part of the process. It's painful to go through it but at least benzos are no longer in your system and each day that passes is a day of healing. The brain and body is fighting to heal itself every second of the day. You will see progress with time. You will heal eventually, even after such long-term use. Try and stay positive and keep going.

[[Be...]]

1 hour ago, [[D...] said:

@[Be...]

This must be the Succes story that resonates most with me so far. Thank you and congrats on the accomplishment of being almost completely healed. One day I will Wright one.. One day... 

Thanks a lot! @[Du...]

Yes, you will indeed write your own one day, I'm fully confident of that. All the best to you.

[[Su...]]

@[Be...] Congratulations!! Enjoy your benzo free life!! 
 

Can I ask you and the other people in this thread, do you or did you just feel really out of it? It’s like my anxiety is so high that my cognitive function isn’t right..I feel like my sanity is balancing on a thin rope if that makes sense? I know that those thoughts are fear so I’m telling them it’s lying to me but I’d like to know if y’all experience this? You said you still experience anxiety.. but is it the same level as withdrawal or is it now manageable? I’m still tapering. Thank you! 

[[Be...]]

25 minutes ago, [[g...] said:

I like that you take responsibility for being in your situation. Not really angry with my doctor, after 15 months of WD from years of K dependence. Kept going back for prescription refills and knew in my heart I should not be taking them anymore. Feeling a little better every day and my sleep is much improved!

Thanks @[gr...]

CT from a decade use is rough. You are strong to make it through that. Glad to hear you're feeling better and sleep has improved. Sleep is so important during this process, I really feel for those suffering with insomnia. I had plenty of sleepless nights and many rough situations, but luckily I never suffered a prolonged period of insomnia. Hope things continue to get better for you.

[[Pa...]]

Your story just made my day @[Be...], it actually brought tears to my eyes!  I agree with everything you wrote, time is our worst enemy but it turns out to be our truest friend and it takes care of us in the end.

I’m so very happy for you and I agree that after this, what life has to dish out is much easier to handle.

Thank you so much for keeping that promise to yourself, the gift of your success story is needed and appreciated. 

[[Be...]]

6 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

Your story just made my day @[Be...], it actually brought tears to my eyes!  I agree with everything you wrote, time is our worst enemy but it turns out to be our truest friend and it takes care of us in the end.

I’m so very happy for you and I agree that after this, what life has to dish out is much easier to handle.

Thank you so much for keeping that promise to yourself, the gift of your success story is needed and appreciated. 

Thank you so much for the kind words @[Pa...] time does indeed take care of us in the end. That's an excellent way of putting it. I admire your dedication to supporting people on here. You replied to some of my first posts on this forum when I was suffering in acute withdrawal and I didn't understand what was happening to me. Big respect to you.

[[Sa...]]

Congrats on your recovery. 

I wish 14 months was the recovery timeline for everyone going through this ordeal. 

[[He...]]

Thank you so much BengalCat!  I'm so happy for you!  I have to agree that time is the best healer and I truly believe there are no short cuts or miracle cures. I tried SOOO many things along the way and my best healing has been coming since I began only utilizing a very clean diet, a sleep schedule, gentle movement, meditation and breath work. I figure they won't cure the problem but at least they are healthy habits.  You're very kind to come back and encourage others.  Congrats to you!

 

[[he...]]

Thank you for sharing your story, @[Be...], instead of moving on. I hope we will all do the same when we've healed. Those of us just starting out or in the middle of what can be a very long and seemingly endless taper get so much hope from these positive accounts of healing from a period of unimaginable trial. I am in my six month off K, and stories like yours remind me that healing does happen, which is so helpful when I'm having a bad day and I start believing the opposite. Like you, I only have about two or three symptoms left to shake, and they ebb and flow from day to day. Some days can be pretty intense, some days are not so bad, and some days things come back that I thought I'd beaten months ago, but things always get better again and are trending in the right direction. Eventually, I know this will all resolve, and I'll be "normal" again. I already feel like I have those super powers your speak of, because life came at me hard during my taper, and I couldn't handle it; now, life still comes at me hard, but I can roll with the punches, even better than before this all started. Stuff just doesn't bother me like it used to. It's wonderful. Congratulations on getting off the drug and getting to this point in your healing. I wish you continued healing and hope you hit 100% very soon.

[[Av...]]

On 22/10/2023 at 16:08, [[B...] said:

Let me start by saying I now understand why there aren't many success stories out there. It's because people heal and simply move on with their lives. It's NOT because they never healed. The reality is, sitting down and writing about their benzo struggles just isn't on their list of priorities. I know this because I am in that position now. I could easily avoid doing this, however, I promised myself a long time ago that I would write a success story in the hope that it helps even just one person out there. I used this forum a lot in the early months of withdrawal which I'm grateful for and I now owe it to myself and others here to contribute a message of hope. Healing is REAL and everybody who is unfortunate enough to go through this journey WILL heal. It just takes time.

I won't make this too long. I'll try and keep it as simple as I can. After 14 months I feel 95% healed. I have a few lingering symptoms which don't bother me much at all, but they're still there, and that's why I don't consider myself 100% healed yet. However, I'm fully confident that I'll reach 100% with a bit more time. I live my life as normal and I'm well and truly entering the final stages of my healing journey. In fact, I don't really think too much about my journey anymore. I just feel like I'm on the other side of it all and now's the right time to put this in the past and move forward.

There's no need to discuss symptoms and go into detail about everything. Everyone here has read enough stories. My story is the same as many others. I suffered, it was a painful experience, but things got better. It was a slow and gradual process. The only thing that heals us is TIME. Healing is inevitable for all of us, even if you're in a situation where that's hard to believe right now, trust me when I say you WILL heal. But let me say it openly and honestly: there is no shortcut or miracle cure. The only way out is through. Our brains are recalibrating. There is zero physical damage (even though it feels like it), every symptom we experience is due to the CNS being in an overstimulated and fragile state. It's cruel how long it takes to recover - trust me I know - but try to avoid all medications/substances, you will only be prolonging the suffering.

Feel free to ask any questions, I will do my best to answer them. This experience moulds us into seriously tough warriors. We are all much stronger than we realise. I actually find general life problems much easier to deal with now after going through benzo hell. It gives us a big advantage in life, it's almost like a superpower. I appreciate things so much more than I used to. I value my health and my sobriety and I don't take anything for granted. I don't think there's many things in life that can compare to the ordeal of getting off benzos, so once we make it through this, we can make it through anything. Just keep fighting and never give up. Recovery takes time but the other side is truly worth it.

Hi , thank you. Did you use any medication that helped you deal with the symptoms. Please help. I am dealing with alot of the withdrawal symptoms.

[[Be...]]

On 23/10/2023 at 15:55, [[S...] said:

Congrats on your recovery. 

I wish 14 months was the recovery timeline for everyone going through this ordeal. 

Thank you @[Sa...] Even 14 months is too long. The timescale of benzo recovery is cruel and unfair, and what makes it even more frustrating is that nobody understands what you're going through. 

[[Be...]]

On 24/10/2023 at 15:00, [[H...] said:

Thank you so much BengalCat!  I'm so happy for you!  I have to agree that time is the best healer and I truly believe there are no short cuts or miracle cures. I tried SOOO many things along the way and my best healing has been coming since I began only utilizing a very clean diet, a sleep schedule, gentle movement, meditation and breath work. I figure they won't cure the problem but at least they are healthy habits.  You're very kind to come back and encourage others.  Congrats to you!

Thank you for the kind words @[He...]

You're absolutely right, there's no miracle cure but all those things you mentioned will definitely contribute to a successful recovery. This whole experience showed me how important it is to take care of my health. Good nutrition, a good sleep schedule and a bit of exercise goes a long way.