98% there.

[[co...]]

So, it’s now been 26 months.. it’s been a journey and I’m here to share my success story. Some of you will disagree with my actions but I don’t mind. You can judge or just listen.
 

I was CT’ed in a jail cell in June 2020 off around 80 - 120mg Valium a day, I was a heavy user and coupled that with cocaine and alcohol nearly daily also.
 

After my CT, severe derealisation, POTS, pulsatile tinnitus, light sensitivity, exhaustion, pain, you name it. 
 

I was stuck in acute for nearly 8 months believe it or not and felt extreme doom. Following after that 8 months up to around 18 - 19 months was still just thick, constant derealisation and exhaustion. 
 

At around 9 months I did flumazenil pump and then flumazenil implant and also around 14 months I did 8 sessions of NAD+ infusions. The flumazenil took me from 20% functional to 30% and the NAD+ took me from 30 - 40% to around 60%. There is no quick fix for this. 
 

Throughout this whole ordeal I smoked cigarettes, ate like shit, slept, felt sorry for myself and that was that. 
 

Around the 18 - 19 month mark I started drinking alcohol some weekends and using a bit of cocaine sometimes (I do not advise this) but I was so sick of being stuck in a scared little world of nothing and feeling like I was going nowhere. 
 

I don’t know how, but ever since I started partying a bit, being social, got a job around 4 months ago and just stopped caring about this insane disease of withdrawal.. I’ve found myself basically healed. I don’t spend days pondering or stuck in derealisation, I actually think about the outside world and life now, I don’t come on here, I don’t research stem cells and xenon gas treatments in other countries.. I simply.. don’t care anymore. 

I can’t tell you what healed me, I definitely don’t think it was drinking or doing cocaine but I do think it was as the fact I absolutely stopped giving a f**k about this disease, my brain shifted back into its wave length of the universe and healed me. Everything turned around so quickly with no apparent reason. 
 

I don’t get setbacks from doing anything now, I am free. 

That’s my story guys, I won’t be back. I hope anyone reading this who is going through absolute hell, please keep going, please just be strong and fight, you will make it and you will make it in your own way, however that looks. 

I can’t tell you what healed me, I can’t tell you 

lots of love to you all, 

B. 

[[Ga...]]

Wow, you are definitely a miracle man!  Congratulations on doing it your way and may your life going forward be a happy and healthy one!!!!!

GG

[[he...]]

Thanks for sharing your story, and I wish you the best, coldhell! Glad to hear you're doing well again. This is more proof that we all heal, in time.

[[or...]]

Hi GG, I'm pretty sure you mentioned headaches, and I told you mine were gone.  Well yesterday I tapered down again after 18 days, and that was at 7 a.m.

Yesterday I started having the headache again which is a very mild, but still throbbing, migraine in my left temple.  I think it is a wd sx for me and I also think the chronic same type of pain was going on several years, lots of years and was probably Tolerance wd sxs.  Just a theory as nothing else has changed in my diet etc.

I know this will pass, I believe it because it stopped before when, possibly, I was stabilizing with my holds for the last 5 months.  I know I sound a bit mixed up, but I didn't keep good notes on sxs because I didn't actually realize, like the headaches, I was just used to having them.  I hope this makes sense as I wanted to encourage you that if these are wd sxs, they are going to heal.  I'll keep in touch about them and see if when I stabilize on this taper I'm down to now, the headaches stop again??

I'll talk more about it in the Withdrawal area of forum and see if I can get feedback, Denise

[[wi...]]

ch your post gave me tons of hope for today.  Thank you for hanging in there so you can bring strength and hope to those of us still suffering through this.

Honesty is a deep healer and thank you for being you and sharing so candidly and without toxic positivity!

[[La...]]

A true testimony of endurance. Wel done. 

[[or...]]

I have no idea how I missed the original post, I know I was alerted about @[Ga...] as I am following her, but I did not see the OP!!  I just saw it this a.m. since I was  up early (too early) but I am so glad and grateful to @[co...].  I hope somehow they know how much the story meant to me, and thank them so much for sharing it.  It is exactly what I needed to see this a.m. such hope and such open, no fear, honesty.

When I was having my what some call intrusion memories, I think they say, this a.m. before just not able to lay there in bed anymore at just about 4 hours sleep, I remembered some things that reminded me of my life before I ever took a benzo.  I am looking and hoping for that day I will be truly healed, and really, I want healing from morbid reflection on my whole life.  I love how you said you just got tired of being stuck where you were.  I get that, I dwell on things that I cannot change, my past, regrets, oh if it had only been different. 

Now I'm getting tears, but good tears, I truly appreciate your post so much.  You were like some of the folks I used to hear in AA when I had spent 15 good years there when I was much younger.  No more on my story, I just hope you will know how much this meant to me, thank you, Denise PS I hope you come back here.

[[Ha...]]

Great news mate. This is the sort of success story I like to hear. I'm pretty much doing the same. Sod it, I need to live some sort of a life. 

Dan

 

[[or...]]

maybe that's what's happening to me, the more I live my life, and whatever I "can" do, the less I feel like dwelling on the negative.  I think there is a lot to be said for a positive attitude.  I look at survivors of horrific injuries that are getting on with their lives, no matter what.  I'm livin my life now, not waiting til some sort of "now I'll start my life again" date That's sure not to say I don't feel like giving up some days because I do.

[[Ma...]]

On 04/08/2023 at 13:21, [[c...] said:

So, it’s now been 26 months.. it’s been a journey and I’m here to share my success story. Some of you will disagree with my actions but I don’t mind. You can judge or just listen.
 

I was CT’ed in a jail cell in June 2020 off around 80 - 120mg Valium a day, I was a heavy user and coupled that with cocaine and alcohol nearly daily also.
 

After my CT, severe derealisation, POTS, pulsatile tinnitus, light sensitivity, exhaustion, pain, you name it. 
 

I was stuck in acute for nearly 8 months believe it or not and felt extreme doom. Following after that 8 months up to around 18 - 19 months was still just thick, constant derealisation and exhaustion. 
 

At around 9 months I did flumazenil pump and then flumazenil implant and also around 14 months I did 8 sessions of NAD+ infusions. The flumazenil took me from 20% functional to 30% and the NAD+ took me from 30 - 40% to around 60%. There is no quick fix for this. 
 

Throughout this whole ordeal I smoked cigarettes, ate like shit, slept, felt sorry for myself and that was that. 
 

Around the 18 - 19 month mark I started drinking alcohol some weekends and using a bit of cocaine sometimes (I do not advise this) but I was so sick of being stuck in a scared little world of nothing and feeling like I was going nowhere. 
 

I don’t know how, but ever since I started partying a bit, being social, got a job around 4 months ago and just stopped caring about this insane disease of withdrawal.. I’ve found myself basically healed. I don’t spend days pondering or stuck in derealisation, I actually think about the outside world and life now, I don’t come on here, I don’t research stem cells and xenon gas treatments in other countries.. I simply.. don’t care anymore. 

I can’t tell you what healed me, I definitely don’t think it was drinking or doing cocaine but I do think it was as the fact I absolutely stopped giving a f**k about this disease, my brain shifted back into its wave length of the universe and healed me. Everything turned around so quickly with no apparent reason. 
 

I don’t get setbacks from doing anything now, I am free. 

That’s my story guys, I won’t be back. I hope anyone reading this who is going through absolute hell, please keep going, please just be strong and fight, you will make it and you will make it in your own way, however that looks. 

I can’t tell you what healed me, I can’t tell you 

lots of love to you all, 

B. 

Great you healed man, I'm also healed and check in occasionally. It's interesting that you said you don't know what healed you. Maybe when you started going out again and not giving an f..... your body came out of fight or flight and the healing could properly take place. I think a loy of the symptoms can also be down to fight or flight. Just a thought.