3 Year Check point

[[Cm...]]

Not a success story yet. I would say I am probably at high 60% to low 70% recovery. Just wanted to share this video as another marker for a lap completed on this Journey we are all on. I wish I was further along but I have faith in what is ever to come of this. 

3 Year Marker

 

[[Co...]]

Already huge leaps forward! Congratulations!

[[Mi...]]

Great message and well done you. Much of what you said resonates with me personally. About how this changes the way you think and almost before this was always looking to amplify that experience. Where as now (as we know) it's very different. Keep going your doing amazing.

[[Ho...]]

Congratulations on getting that certificate! In the midst of all of this, you managed to do it. You did it!! I'm so, so impressed I can hardly say! Wow.

It was tough to hear all that you've gone through; getting burned, oh man! But I was really glad to hear that a lot of the depression has lifted. Mine too; a lot of it has finally lifted and as long as that's not biting at my heels, I can do stuff. I can live.

You have an impressive story, and it's not over yet! I just watched a Baylissa Frederick video that had a lot of good things to say. She did a head count of how many people she's interacted with over the past 17 years, and it added up to something like 13,000+. Then she said that out of all of those (not counting recent people still in the thick of recovery), everyone healed. In 17 years and over ten thousand people, all healed. I think she said five years was the outside number of years to heal. In my mind's eye I seem to remember that that number was rare, but I do have some cog fog still! Anyway, she'd say you'll get even better! And I consider one of the few professionals who'd truly know.

I just have this kind of nice feeling that you are a rare and special person.

God bless you and thanks so much for sharing!

[[Ma...]]

Thanks for the video♥️
 

i hope you heal fully soon. Sounds like you are getting there slowly ♥️

[[Cm...]]

10 hours ago, [[M...] said:

Great message and well done you. Much of what you said resonates with me personally. About how this changes the way you think and almost before this was always looking to amplify that experience. Where as now (as we know) it's very different. Keep going your doing amazing.

Appreciate you brother. I think I saw your comment on YT as well. Thank you for taking the time to watch the video. If there was anything I said specifically that resonated with you, feel free to let me know. I am thinking of maybe starting to do monthly recaps moving forward to track my progress and let people see the healing in real time

[[Cm...]]

9 hours ago, [[H...] said:

Congratulations on getting that certificate! In the midst of all of this, you managed to do it. You did it!! I'm so, so impressed I can hardly say! Wow.

It was tough to hear all that you've gone through; getting burned, oh man! But I was really glad to hear that a lot of the depression has lifted. Mine too; a lot of it has finally lifted and as long as that's not biting at my heels, I can do stuff. I can live.

You have an impressive story, and it's not over yet! I just watched a Baylissa Frederick video that had a lot of good things to say. She did a head count of how many people she's interacted with over the past 17 years, and it added up to something like 13,000+. Then she said that out of all of those (not counting recent people still in the thick of recovery), everyone healed. In 17 years and over ten thousand people, all healed. I think she said five years was the outside number of years to heal. In my mind's eye I seem to remember that that number was rare, but I do have some cog fog still! Anyway, she'd say you'll get even better! And I consider one of the few professionals who'd truly know.

I just have this kind of nice feeling that you are a rare and special person.

God bless you and thanks so much for sharing!

I sincerely appreciate the words of support and acknowledgement on my journey. I am fairly confident I will heal even if it's not at the pace I wanted. As difficult as the healing process has been, I've had eureka moments spread through out it that point out to why things are having to take so long.

In the effort to approach healing with a sober mindset, I've often asked myself how did I end up in this situation? Forgive me for being meta but I often see people be very one sided when it comes to the "laws of attraction." If they hit the lottery it's because the power of manifesting. But when an experience like this happens, it's Big Pharmas fault. I am not mitigating the role big Pharma plays in this. What I am doing is acknowledging that I have found out it more valuable to operate from the premise that I attracted this experience to myself. Big Pharma just facilitated it. Moving accordingly has brought me a lot of insight. Before the Benzos and really all mind altering substances I still had a lot of character defects and flaws that prevented me from living a righteous life. This experience has allowed and forced me to face a lot of those defects in a very up close and personal way. 

 Like I said as difficult as this process has been I am grateful for the new lease on life it's presented me. 

[[kl...]]

Great story! Thanks for sharing and can’t wait to see the next one. Keep going

[[Je...]]

Hey man.  Loved the video and I could see a lot of pain behind your voice.  But also a lot of strength and I’m sure you are so much stronger than you were before! 

How long were you taking benzos?  And it seemed like you did a CT ya?
 

Anyways just imagine how much stronger you will be in 1-2 years.  Complete healing can be around the corner! 

[[Cm...]]

On 8/2/2023 at 8:45 PM, [[J...] said:

Hey man.  Loved the video and I could see a lot of pain behind your voice.  But also a lot of strength and I’m sure you are so much stronger than you were before! 

How long were you taking benzos?  And it seemed like you did a CT ya?
 

Anyways just imagine how much stronger you will be in 1-2 years.  Complete healing can be around the corner! 

Appreciate the kind words. 

 

I was taking Benzos on and off for Almost 2 years exactly. 2mg of Xanax and 30-40 mgs of Valium were probably my highest doses. 

And yea I did CT. At the time I didn't know what I was going through and just wanted to be off everything. I had been sober from everything for almost 6 months when I reintroduced valium/xanaxs. I did it under the context of solely wanting sleep. After sporadic use over 2 months and not seeing any relief I decided to kick them. In hindsight I probably would have done the same thing again. I know some people have had success with tapering but at that point I wanted my body to be drug free as possible and still do.

[[Je...]]

3 hours ago, [[C...] said:

Appreciate the kind words. 

 

I was taking Benzos on and off for Almost 2 years exactly. 2mg of Xanax and 30-40 mgs of Valium were probably my highest doses. 

And yea I did CT. At the time I didn't know what I was going through and just wanted to be off everything. I had been sober from everything for almost 6 months when I reintroduced valium/xanaxs. I did it under the context of solely wanting sleep. After sporadic use over 2 months and not seeing any relief I decided to kick them. In hindsight I probably would have done the same thing again. I know some people have had success with tapering but at that point I wanted my body to be drug free as possible and still do.

That’s tough man.  The kindling is real.  I got out of rehab for opiates and the first thing I did was doubled my normal benzo dose.  I had tapered from 30mg Valium to 9mg over 6 months.  And when I went to 60-80mg Valium for 2 weeks out of rehab, when I went back down to 9mg my whole body went into shock.

I’ve never felt like I stabilized since the kindling.  It’s like it knocked my body so off balance it still has trouble trying to find itself homeostasis.  

I truly never have felt such horrible anxiety and shame in my life.  That soul crushing shame was unbearable.  My body was fucked just from 2 weeks of screwing up.  
 

I can only imagine what it was like doing a CT then reinstating again.  Those mistakes will eventually become strength later.  
 

You will get better in time. hang in there buddy 

[[He...]]

Chris, 

Thank you for taking the time and energy to create this video. You are doing this! I know how very hard it is.  I'm there with you as are most of us here.  You are an intelligent, creative, wise soul and you are going to get through this. 

Peace to you,

Helen

 

[[La...]]

I’m very happy with your progress and sharing it. Truly a warrior! Thank you.