Is this what we want, is this who we want to be?

[[Co...]]

I am just going to chime in to say I am glad this question is being posed. I for one am much much much more active on the Reddit sub because I find people are much more open to suggestions there and agreeing with Rebecca's friend I do not see as much of suffering rivalry. I was incredibly discouraged the other day that only TWO people responded to my post about running into a healed buddy to give others hope. I also agree with a mute/ignore button as this is another reason I have been more drawn to Reddit - I don't believe anyone should be banned for leaning towards a negative lense but I think if you want to be able to avoid certain people chiming into your posts or if you want to avoid seeing their posts that should be up to the Buddy themselves. Ironically this post itself is quite negative but I have been wanting this off my chest for a while now. I look forward to a more positive, hopeful space where I will gladly return to contribute to. I have made a lot of strides in my taper with therapy, supplements and other interventions and would be happy to share them in a safer environment.

 

Constructive criticism is not negative.

[[Co...]]

Well

I do feel like I’m never going to heal, I don’t come here that often as the actual feedback is lame, every now and again it’s good

But most read and don’t comment

At 2.5 years off feeling dread of not healing isn’t manipulation?! Not by all that write it like I feel it but some will be manipulative, and lie

 

I also feel the no talk on suicidal feelings is a big let down, it’s not your job to heal that but a listening ear help which is what those kinda call centres do and it’s one very large symptom that is listed as such and I think could be help more than saying no don’t go there

 

Apart from that

This site was a fantastic place to start the journey of coming off when there’s nothing else out there

 

There are three reasons for this:

 

[*]Our members and team are not qualified to counsel people in such serious situations.

[*]This type of content is extremely triggering for many members

[*]As far as I am aware, no member of the team are willing to moderate this type of content

 

I do understand from where you are coming on this matter. Ideally, yes, members would be able to discuss whatever ails them. But, pragmatically, and for the greater good (including the member feeling this way), we have never allowed this type of content at BB.

[[Co...]]

I will chime in on the subject of toxic positivity.  I do notice at times some members want to reinforce the belief that “it will get better”, when I’m really looking, in a way, to relate to members that are still suffering.  While this may sound morbid, in a strange way it is comforting to know you are not the only person going through extreme situations right now.

    I almost wish there would be an area on BB where “venting” about one’s current situation was more tolerated, and a section similar to success stories, where one could post about current success from some of the practices they are implementing.

    In other words, a section to gain positive support and a section to vent your negative thoughts.  I think both can be very beneficial depending on what personally benefits you the most.  Maybe the “negative” section could be members only to help prevent guests from viewing/participating?

 

I think there is a middle ground to be had here. We can reply with a positive message while still acknowledging the problems and feelings of our interlocutors. A positive response from someone who is having a good day or has been through the process and (generally) feels much better can be encouraging. But a simple message of 'everyone heals' can come across as trite if the recipient is not in a place a where they can hear this.

 

I don't feel a dedicated, siloed area would be a good idea. I expect that such a space would only encourage and lock in people to negative thoughts, where they each reinforce these feelings in each other. Again, this is an idea which has some merit, but if you dig deeper, there are potential large negatives too.

[[wo...]]

In  the last few months I have read maybe 5-6 posts for exactly this reason. The negativity and doom posts are terrifying.  I understand that they are some people’s reality and that is equally terrifying as well as sad. I know I have read posts from healed members in the past (years ago) and their dialogue did seem significantly different — more hopeful.

 

I wonder if there are more people I could talk to and get/give encouragement… those that choose to stay silent like I do. The only reason I come to this site is to PM another member who has been a supportive friend during this.

 

But it’s also interesting to note that some people just can’t handle the idea of someone pushing or trying harder. I recently started jogging and I was told “you are so much better than me” and I found that belittling. Just because I jogged a few times doesn’t mean I don’t have relentless physical symptoms still. I don’t like the constant comparisons of symptoms.

 

I am sad we all have to endure this experience. But I choose to be hopeful and keep telling myself we all heal. Otherwise what’s the point ?!

[[pi...]]

In  the last few months I have read maybe 5-6 posts for exactly this reason. The negativity and doom posts are terrifying.  I understand that they are some people’s reality and that is equally terrifying as well as sad. I know I have read posts from healed members in the past (years ago) and their dialogue did seem significantly different — more hopeful.

 

I wonder if there are more people I could talk to and get/give encouragement… those that choose to stay silent like I do. The only reason I come to this site is to PM another member who has been a supportive friend during this.

 

But it’s also interesting to note that some people just can’t handle the idea of someone pushing or trying harder. I recently started jogging and I was told “you are so much better than me” and I found that belittling. Just because I jogged a few times doesn’t mean I don’t have relentless physical symptoms still. I don’t like the constant comparisons of symptoms.

 

I am sad we all have to endure this experience. But I choose to be hopeful and keep telling myself we all heal. Otherwise what’s the point ?!

 

workoutgirl,

 

I also chose to be hopeful for the same reason you are!

 

I would like to encourage you to post on the forum. It’s only by all of us collectively striving to change the tenor and mood of the forum that it will actually happen. I’m sorry you felt belittled. During withdrawal people can say things they would not ordinarily say. Each persons withdrawal and recovery will be different. However, notes of encouragement and kudos to those who try new things or activities should be applauded.

 

pianogirl

[[La...]]

Ok I’ve read through some of these post. Firstly, I’d like to congratulate the moderators and administrators of this forum. With all the negativity, bickering and some people just wanting to make this forum turn to ruins…they ( moderators and administrators and gatekeepers) have done an excellent job.  Honestly I don’t think they’re given their flowers as often as they should. It’s NOT EASY dealing with people who are extremely ill physically and sometimes mentally at the same time.

Here’s my suggestion to maintain the peace and loving support this forum is supposed to be. Make a moaning Minnie or Moaning Marty room. There people can hang out in there and moan all they want. Please allow others who start positive threads to be allowed to dismiss or erase a post that is negative. I’m not talking about someone coming in on let’s say the 12&up thread I started then they post how they are not feeling good today. That’s what this forum is for! I’m talking about someone coming on there spewing negativity all the time…” I don’t think anybody heals. I’m never going to have anything positive to say because I’m in hell all the time. Drink all the alcohol you want because it won’t matter.” Etc etc etc. I know on the thread I started, there’s a couple of times I wished I could have erased some of the discouraging posts.

I also think the success stories should be categorized by the years someone took to heal. For example: those who healed in 2 years, then 3, 4, etc. I had a hard time going through posts looking for someone who had my similar experience who healed.

There need to be more people on the welcome wagon when someone comes in. First impressions are everything. Me personally, when I first came, I was warmly welcomed by a few people. I’m telling you, it made my day! I felt like I belonged and found a place where others knew what I was going through. I’m not meaning to leave anyone out but there’s just special moments and people that you encounter here…Pam and Begood made me feel hopeful. I NEEDED that so bad!

Maybe assign the newbies to one of the older buddies that are similar in medication use or symptoms? Of course with their permission. I get PM sometimes asking can I be a buddy to someone new because I’m positive and have some time under my belt. But, this should be done with rules in place. I have had a couple of BBs that tried to overstep my boundaries- taking for granted my support, contacting me when they’re in need of a doctor, messaging all day everyday, etc. Just like some have said here, some of the buddies are in a terrible mental state. You show them the slightest kindness and they latch on to you slamming you with their negativity. But I’m not letting that stop me from offering my support on here. I think it’s the right thing to do …give back because people need it to make it.

One last thing….I’m happy to see the owner, mods, admins and gatekeepers wanting to take back this awesome forum. What a shame to see it go to ruins! Let’s help them keep this forum what it’s meant to be. 

[[re...]]

VENT HERE

[[or...]]

Thanks for reminding us about VENT HERE, Redevan. It fulfills LadyDen's wish:

 

Make a moaning Minnie or Moaning Marty room. There people can hang out in there and moan all they want.

 

There, Minnie and Marty can moan all they want.

 

 

Katz

 

 

 

[[Pa...]]

Ok I’ve read through some of these post. Firstly, I’d like to congratulate the moderators and administrators of this forum. With all the negativity, bickering and some people just wanting to make this forum turn to ruins…they ( moderators and administrators and gatekeepers) have done an excellent job.  Honestly I don’t think they’re given their flowers as often as they should. It’s NOT EASY dealing with people who are extremely ill physically and sometimes mentally at the same time.

Here’s my suggestion to maintain the peace and loving support this forum is supposed to be. Make a moaning Minnie or Moaning Marty room. There people can hang out in there and moan all they want. Please allow others who start positive threads to be allowed to dismiss or erase a post that is negative. I’m not talking about someone coming in on let’s say the 12&up thread I started then they post how they are not feeling good today. That’s what this forum is for! I’m talking about someone coming on there spewing negativity all the time…” I don’t think anybody heals. I’m never going to have anything positive to say because I’m in hell all the time. Drink all the alcohol you want because it won’t matter.” Etc etc etc. I know on the thread I started, there’s a couple of times I wished I could have erased some of the discouraging posts.

I also think the success stories should be categorized by the years someone took to heal. For example: those who healed in 2 years, then 3, 4, etc. I had a hard time going through posts looking for someone who had my similar experience who healed.

There need to be more people on the welcome wagon when someone comes in. First impressions are everything. Me personally, when I first came, I was warmly welcomed by a few people. I’m telling you, it made my day! I felt like I belonged and found a place where others knew what I was going through. I’m not meaning to leave anyone out but there’s just special moments and people that you encounter here…Pam and Begood made me feel hopeful. I NEEDED that so bad!

Maybe assign the newbies to one of the older buddies that are similar in medication use or symptoms? Of course with their permission. I get PM sometimes asking can I be a buddy to someone new because I’m positive and have some time under my belt. But, this should be done with rules in place. I have had a couple of BBs that tried to overstep my boundaries- taking for granted my support, contacting me when they’re in need of a doctor, messaging all day everyday, etc. Just like some have said here, some of the buddies are in a terrible mental state. You show them the slightest kindness and they latch on to you slamming you with their negativity. But I’m not letting that stop me from offering my support on here. I think it’s the right thing to do …give back because people need it to make it.

One last thing….I’m happy to see the owner, mods, admins and gatekeepers wanting to take back this awesome forum. What a shame to see it go to ruins! Let’s help them keep this forum what it’s meant to be. 

 

Wow, I didn’t know when I started this thread that we’d be getting such great suggestions!  The new platform is going to offer many improvements and while it may take a little time to get familiar with it and get the new forums stood up, we have some great ideas coming from the members who know what they’d like to see, thank you!  And thank you LadyDen for contributing to this thread and for your positive attitude and great support.

[[Pa...]]

VENT HERE

 

Yep, this thread has served its purpose and will hopefully continue to, thanks Red.

[[be...]]

Thanks Pam for your ongoing support and always kind words for me. Lady, it is has been a pleasure to stand beside you...when you could barely raise your head, but still you tried to be positive as you could be. Evan, glad you left a link to your "Vent" thread, one of the best threads we have here at BB. 💖Peace and Healing.

[[Co...]]

You've posted few interesting ideas here, LadyDen.

 

Ok I’ve read through some of these post. Firstly, I’d like to congratulate the moderators and administrators of this forum. With all the negativity, bickering and some people just wanting to make this forum turn to ruins…they ( moderators and administrators and gatekeepers) have done an excellent job.  Honestly I don’t think they’re given their flowers as often as they should. It’s NOT EASY dealing with people who are extremely ill physically and sometimes mentally at the same time.

 

Appreciated.

 

Here’s my suggestion to maintain the peace and loving support this forum is supposed to be. Make a moaning Minnie or Moaning Marty room. There people can hang out in there and moan all they want.

 

As per my comments a little earlier, I am not convinced that placing members in (self-imposed) 'silos' is a very healthy approach. I appreciate that some members might like to see this, but for the siloed, it probably will only serve to deepen their negative view of their situation. I am not saying that we do nothing about negativity, but I am unconvinced of your suggested approach.

 

Please allow others who start positive threads to be allowed to dismiss or erase a post that is negative. I’m not talking about someone coming in on let’s say the 12&up thread I started then they post how they are not feeling good today. That’s what this forum is for! I’m talking about someone coming on there spewing negativity all the time…” I don’t think anybody heals. I’m never going to have anything positive to say because I’m in hell all the time. Drink all the alcohol you want because it won’t matter.” Etc etc etc. I know on the thread I started, there’s a couple of times I wished I could have erased some of the discouraging posts.

 

These are areas where we might be able to help. We could possibly change guidelines and perhaps enforce them more strictly in some areas of the forum. There are also greater possibilities for disseminating information to members with the new software too. So maybe we can provide better information to help members who are in this situation.

 

I also think the success stories should be categorized by the years someone took to heal. For example: those who healed in 2 years, then 3, 4, etc. I had a hard time going through posts looking for someone who had my similar experience who healed.

 

I don't wish for us split up Success Stories in this way - we are trying to reduce the number of boards - but I can see there might be some utility in members more easily finding the stories they seek. Two possibilities immediately spring to mind.

[*]We could explore using 'prefixes' (a kind of tagging system) in the new system for Success Stories. But too many prefixes could become confusing - we would need to look at it.

[*]And/or, if a member would like to compile (and keep updated) lists of Success Stories which fall into various popular boxes, we could pin the post or otherwise make it available to members.

There need to be more people on the welcome wagon when someone comes in. First impressions are everything. Me personally, when I first came, I was warmly welcomed by a few people. I’m telling you, it made my day! I felt like I belonged and found a place where others knew what I was going through. I’m not meaning to leave anyone out but there’s just special moments and people that you encounter here…Pam and Begood made me feel hopeful. I NEEDED that so bad!

 

We are dropping the clumsy Introduction system. It was introduced for good reasons at the time, but there are negatives with it too. And we have all but decided that we will not have a 'Welcome' board. There are several reasons for this. Frankly, not enough existing members welcome new members on the existing board. I am not sure why this is so. They used to do it more. But I think it might be because people use and think about forums differently than in the past. And - like most forums these days - since we have fewer active members, there are fewer people here to welcome new members.

 

Having said this, I am exploring other ways to make members aware of new members and to respond to them appropriately.

 

Maybe assign the newbies to one of the older buddies that are similar in medication use or symptoms? Of course with their permission. I get PM sometimes asking can I be a buddy to someone new because I’m positive and have some time under my belt. But, this should be done with rules in place. I have had a couple of BBs that tried to overstep my boundaries- taking for granted my support, contacting me when they’re in need of a doctor, messaging all day everyday, etc. Just like some have said here, some of the buddies are in a terrible mental state. You show them the slightest kindness and they latch on to you slamming you with their negativity. But I’m not letting that stop me from offering my support on here. I think it’s the right thing to do …give back because people need it to make it.

 

I think you have answered your question there. Assigning members to those who are (largely) recovered could prove to be a terrible burden upon those providing the support. At least one benzo support forum closed its doors, collapsing under the weight of trying to offer a top-down approach to withdrawal support.* Members should be able to dip in and out support as they feel able and need. Our peer-support' model has served us well for nearly 20 years.

 

* They structured their support as moderator-to-member, but the philosophy and approach were similar to what you propose. The forum closed due to burn out.

 

One last thing….I’m happy to see the owner, mods, admins and gatekeepers wanting to take back this awesome forum. What a shame to see it go to ruins! Let’s help them keep this forum what it’s meant to be. 

 

Well, it is something we have talked about many times - but a few things came together just right for it to happen now.

[[be...]]

Cocodot, hopefully we can keep more members from leaving if we work together and I’m glad you chimed in Begood, thanks for starting and maintaining such a welcoming space on the forum, its fun to read and great distraction.

 

Rebecca29 and SnelleJelle, the new software has a lot to offer and we’re excited to get it all up and running.  I believe you’ll be pleased with the extra’s we’ll be able to take advantage of.  Of course, there’ll be a learning curve for all of us but with patience, we’ll get there. 

💖

[[Co...]]

Hi all,

 

Please keep up with the suggestions. Even if we have already considered and rejected some of them, having them brought up again is no bad thing. Looking at them afresh, especially through the eyes of members might mean that we reconsider and change direction. In any case, there are plenty of fresh ideas here too which we have no yet considered.

 

And thank you, Pam, for starting the thread.

[[Br...]]

For those who want to convince others that no one in the world is suffering as they are and that no one ever heals, I say get over yourselves. Maybe try to help someone else. Encourage them. Reach out to lift someone up with optimism, not drag them down with pessimism. Help them celebrate small successes.

Katz

 

I want to add on to the important point Oregonkatz makes here. I truly believe extending yourself to help support others aids others in their healing but it also aids in your healing.  It’s true for me as it has been for many others here, BB was an absolute lifeline and beacon of hope as I went through withdrawal.  The warm welcome, encouraging words and vision of recovery I found here meant everything to me.  I soon learned that helping lift other members up by sharing my own story, sharing what was helping me, and offering empathy & hope was worth its weight in gold. Receiving support helped buoy and sustain me through what had felt like an impossible journey but giving hope made me feel I was turning something awful into something good.  I felt there was a choice to turn inward and focus solely on my own suffering or to engage in real mutual support.  I chose the latter and it has made a huge difference.

I look forward to the forum shifting back to a place where members support each other with empathy and encouragement.

Thank you to everyone who is contributing to this much needed thread and thank you to Pamster for starting it.

[[La...]]

You've posted few interesting ideas here, LadyDen.

 

Ok I’ve read through some of these post. Firstly, I’d like to congratulate the moderators and administrators of this forum. With all the negativity, bickering and some people just wanting to make this forum turn to ruins…they ( moderators and administrators and gatekeepers) have done an excellent job.  Honestly I don’t think they’re given their flowers as often as they should. It’s NOT EASY dealing with people who are extremely ill physically and sometimes mentally at the same time.

 

Appreciated.

 

Here’s my suggestion to maintain the peace and loving support this forum is supposed to be. Make a moaning Minnie or Moaning Marty room. There people can hang out in there and moan all they want.

 

As per my comments a little earlier, I am not convinced that placing members in (self-imposed) 'silos' is a very healthy approach. I appreciate that some members might like to see this, but for the siloed, it probably will only serve to deepen their negative view of their situation. I am not saying that we do nothing about negativity, but I am unconvinced of your suggested approach.

 

Please allow others who start positive threads to be allowed to dismiss or erase a post that is negative. I’m not talking about someone coming in on let’s say the 12&up thread I started then they post how they are not feeling good today. That’s what this forum is for! I’m talking about someone coming on there spewing negativity all the time…” I don’t think anybody heals. I’m never going to have anything positive to say because I’m in hell all the time. Drink all the alcohol you want because it won’t matter.” Etc etc etc. I know on the thread I started, there’s a couple of times I wished I could have erased some of the discouraging posts.

 

These are areas where we might be able to help. We could possibly change guidelines and perhaps enforce them more strictly in some areas of the forum. There are also greater possibilities for disseminating information to members with the new software too. So maybe we can provide better information to help members who are in this situation.

 

I also think the success stories should be categorized by the years someone took to heal. For example: those who healed in 2 years, then 3, 4, etc. I had a hard time going through posts looking for someone who had my similar experience who healed.

 

I don't wish for us split up Success Stories in this way - we are trying to reduce the number of boards - but I can see there might be some utility in members more easily finding the stories they seek. Two possibilities immediately spring to mind.

[*]We could explore using 'prefixes' (a kind of tagging system) in the new system for Success Stories. But too many prefixes could become confusing - we would need to look at it.

[*]And/or, if a member would like to compile (and keep updated) lists of Success Stories which fall into various popular boxes, we could pin the post or otherwise make it available to members.

There need to be more people on the welcome wagon when someone comes in. First impressions are everything. Me personally, when I first came, I was warmly welcomed by a few people. I’m telling you, it made my day! I felt like I belonged and found a place where others knew what I was going through. I’m not meaning to leave anyone out but there’s just special moments and people that you encounter here…Pam and Begood made me feel hopeful. I NEEDED that so bad!

 

We are dropping the clumsy Introduction system. It was introduced for good reasons at the time, but there are negatives with it too. And we have all but decided that we will not have a 'Welcome' board. There are several reasons for this. Frankly, not enough existing members welcome new members on the existing board. I am not sure why this is so. They used to do it more. But I think it might be because people use and think about forums differently than in the past. And - like most forums these days - since we have fewer active members, there are fewer people here to welcome new members.

 

Having said this, I am exploring other ways to make members aware of new members and to respond to them appropriately.

 

Maybe assign the newbies to one of the older buddies that are similar in medication use or symptoms? Of course with their permission. I get PM sometimes asking can I be a buddy to someone new because I’m positive and have some time under my belt. But, this should be done with rules in place. I have had a couple of BBs that tried to overstep my boundaries- taking for granted my support, contacting me when they’re in need of a doctor, messaging all day everyday, etc. Just like some have said here, some of the buddies are in a terrible mental state. You show them the slightest kindness and they latch on to you slamming you with their negativity. But I’m not letting that stop me from offering my support on here. I think it’s the right thing to do …give back because people need it to make it.

 

I think you have answered your question there. Assigning members to those who are (largely) recovered could prove to be a terrible burden upon those providing the support. At least one benzo support forum closed its doors, collapsing under the weight of trying to offer a top-down approach to withdrawal support.* Members should be able to dip in and out support as they feel able and need. Our peer-support' model has served us well for nearly 20 years.

 

* They structured their support as moderator-to-member, but the philosophy and approach were similar to what you propose. The forum closed due to burn out.

 

One last thing….I’m happy to see the owner, mods, admins and gatekeepers wanting to take back this awesome forum. What a shame to see it go to ruins! Let’s help them keep this forum what it’s meant to be. 

 

Well, it is something we have talked about many times - but a few things came together just right for it to happen now.

Thanks Colin. I agree with all that you said. I was unaware some of those suggestions were tried either here or on other forums which caused them to burn out. That’s the last thing I want to see this invaluable forum do. I’m confident that you and the team will come up with the most effective solutions. Why? Because you guys are awesome like that!

Big hugs!!!

[[jo...]]

Hi all,

 

Please keep up with the suggestions. Even if we have already considered and rejected some of them, having them brought up again is no bad thing. Looking at them afresh, especially through the eyes of members might mean that we reconsider and change direction. In any case, there are plenty of fresh ideas here too which we have no yet considered.

 

And thank you, Pam, for starting the thread.

 

How about we seek to standardize med history in signatures?  Not enforce it but just provide guidelines.  I look at all signatures to find people in my category.  The problems with many signatures are:

 

• No standard date format.  US and UK date formats are different.  Is 1/10 the first of October or the tenth of January?  It's even more confusing when users put the year in sporadically or not at all.
  
• 
  Clearly identify the drug(s) being tapered.  Some users don't mention which benzo, or mention it once and then mention other drugs, but then don't make it clear what the dates are referring to.
  
• 
  No signature at all.
   
  

 

 

Is it possible to include meta data in users' profiles capturing the drug(s) they were prescribed, the start date for each med, the end date (or no end date if still tapering)? 

 

We should encourage users to list all meds that may affect their healing timeline.  If I am comparing my case to someone with a similar benzo usage but they don't mention they were also on APs and ADs then that will not give me an accurate picture of their situation.  Maybe also include meta data about drinking alcohol and using recreational drugs. 

 

If you want to get really intricate you could include meta data in the profile describing OTC drugs, supplement, cannabis, food sensitivities etc.  What works and what doesn't work.  Not only would it help other users learn what to avoid, but would provide a valuable statistical data set in the future.  You could include a check box for the user to grant permission to allow their meta data to be used anonymously in reports and studies.  i.e. An output of this data set could be:

• 
  "Ativan users are more often sensitive to CBD than not."
  
• 
  "Users who consume alcohol experience more setbacks than users who abstain". 
  
• 
  "Users who experience a rapid taper or cold turkey report longer recovery time by an average of 3 months"

 

If other users are like me we are always trying to compare ourselves to each situation and trying to decipher some signatures can be a little frustrating at times.  This may seem obsessive but OCD is a symptom of benzo withdrawal after all so don't blame me.   

[[Re...]]

Jon reminded me it would be fantastic to have an updated search feature with years you can search by along with terms...off topic...

[[jo...]]

Jon reminded me it would be fantastic to have an updated search feature with years you can search by along with terms...off topic...

❤️

[[B1...]]

Also what about adding tags to posts? Such as:

 

- Just venting - no reassurance please

- Looking for reassurance/hope

- Small success (could be helpful when reducing the amount of threads)

- [Drug, Supplement, Food, etc] question

- [symptom] Question

- Trigger warning: [insert trigger here]

...

 

Along those lines. Could be customizable. It would give the reader an idea of what sort of response the poster is looking for while also protecting themselves by giving them a heads up of what they are about to read. Too often I will be halfway through a post and be like WHOA that was unexpected. Or, and this happens even more frequently, it is very hard to tell if a Buddy just wants to blow off steam and have people say: that fking sucks vs. when they want to be told everything is going to be alright. That could help solve this notion of toxic positivity coming through - which I think is mainly a result of people just wanting to vent and instead hearing everyone will get better and heal. I hope that makes sense.

[[jo...]]

Also what about adding tags to posts? Such as:

 

- Just venting - no reassurance please

- Looking for reassurance/hope

- Small success (could be helpful when reducing the amount of threads)

- [Drug, Supplement, Food, etc] question

- [symptom] Question

- Trigger warning: [insert trigger here]

...

 

Along those lines. Could be customizable. It would give the reader an idea of what sort of response the poster is looking for while also protecting themselves by giving them a heads up of what they are about to read. Too often I will be halfway through a post and be like WHOA that was unexpected. Or, and this happens even more frequently, it is very hard to tell if a Buddy just wants to blow off steam and have people say: that fking sucks vs. when they want to be told everything is going to be alright. That could help solve this notion of toxic positivity coming through - which I think is mainly a result of people just wanting to vent and instead hearing everyone will get better and heal. I hope that makes sense.

❤️

[[Co...]]

Thanks Colin. I agree with all that you said. I was unaware some of those suggestions were tried either here or on other forums which caused them to burn out. That’s the last thing I want to see this invaluable forum do. I’m confident that you and the team will come up with the most effective solutions. Why? Because you guys are awesome like that!

Big hugs!!!

 

Of course you would not know about our history, what has been tried (and failed) elsewhere, and what we have already discussed. But even if you did, all those 'dismissed' ideas deserve reappraisal, should be defended (if possible) or at least explained. What I am saying is, even if my response was not positive with some of your suggestions, all your suggestions were worthy of being discussed. Just because we have already decided against something, it does not mean that it necessarily was the correct decision or that it cannot be reassessed. All your contributions (and the contributions of others) have been useful. Keep them coming!

 

I am particularly interested in hearing suggestions for how we might better promote some types of content, such as success stories. Or how members might better locate what they seek. I expect the search system will be better than what we have here, but that's only a small part of possible improvements. How we organise content, what extra information we provide and how we curate content are probably more significant.

[[Co...]]

How about we seek to standardize med history in signatures?  Not enforce it but just provide guidelines.  I look at all signatures to find people in my category.  The problems with many signatures are:

 

It is something we've looked at. The new system provides opportunities to add profile fields, and there may be other opportunities to display such information too. There will be no 'signature lines' as such. But the information will appear somewhere. There are profile cards which popup when you hover a username - and you can link from there to the full profile. But we might be able to come up with something more elegant. It would be nice to have a second card popup from the profile card containing use and withdrawal information so that you do not need to leave the page. I am not sure if we can pull this off, but I will be investigating it.

 

• No standard date format.  US and UK date formats are different.  Is 1/10 the first of October or the tenth of January?  It's even more confusing when users put the year in sporadically or not at all.

 

My usual suggestion is to use the international date format: 2023-06-24

 

• 
  Clearly identify the drug(s) being tapered.  Some users don't mention which benzo, or mention it once and then mention other drugs, but then don't make it clear what the dates are referring to.

 

Yes, we can provide some advice about this. It might be useful for members to list the generic name, as brand names vary from country to country. There is a forum addon which we might have used to provide hover information with words we select, but the developer seems to have stopped supporting it. We were looking at it for other uses, but it would work here too.

 

• 
  No signature at all.
  

 

We could force profile fields to be filled as part of registration, but I think that would be too much. We should accept that some members will not create a signature line (or fill in extra profile information).

 

Is it possible to include meta data in users' profiles capturing the drug(s) they were prescribed, the start date for each med, the end date (or no end date if still tapering)?

 

We can add all kinds of extra fields to profiles. I can't see us forcing it though. And, you should know, once you get into it, coming up with useful fields which are both constrained and flexible enough to work for all members is not easy. It is not straightforward for a lot of information we might like to catch. I think this is an area we will develop through experience once we have moved. But it is something we will explore in short order.

 

We should encourage users to list all meds that may affect their healing timeline.  If I am comparing my case to someone with a similar benzo usage but they don't mention they were also on APs and ADs then that will not give me an accurate picture of their situation.  Maybe also include meta data about drinking alcohol and using recreational drugs.

 

It is battle to have members provide relevant information, but at the same time avoid them providing long narratives (which will not be read). Small fields for specific information are better, but given that member histories vary enormously, they are difficult to formulate.

 

If you want to get really intricate you could include meta data in the profile describing OTC drugs, supplement, cannabis, food sensitivities etc.  What works and what doesn't work.  Not only would it help other users learn what to avoid, but would provide a valuable statistical data set in the future.  You could include a check box for the user to grant permission to allow their meta data to be used anonymously in reports and studies.  i.e. An output of this data set could be:

• 
  "Ativan users are more often sensitive to CBD than not."
  
• 
  "Users who consume alcohol experience more setbacks than users who abstain". 
  
• 
  "Users who experience a rapid taper or cold turkey report longer recovery time by an average of 3 months"

 

There are distinct possibilities for collecting data for a study with the new forum system. But it is something we need to consider carefully and probably involve an outside researcher from the start. Members would need to be informed and provide consent too. But is entirely possible to do with the much more powerful community software we will be using.

 

If other users are like me we are always trying to compare ourselves to each situation and trying to decipher some signatures can be a little frustrating at times.  This may seem obsessive but OCD is a symptom of benzo withdrawal after all so don't blame me.   

 

I hear what you are saying. But I'd caution against direct comparisons like that. Two people of similar age, the same sex, and similar use and withdrawal histories are probably going to have different experiences of use and withdrawal. A study can provide aggregate information, but our individual experience will be our own, and be unique to us.

[[Co...]]

Jon reminded me it would be fantastic to have an updated search feature with years you can search by along with terms...off topic...

I expect the new search system to work better than what we have here. Certainly, the search time constraints do not work with this SMF software.

[[Co...]]

Also what about adding tags to posts? Such as:

 

- Just venting - no reassurance please

- Looking for reassurance/hope

- Small success (could be helpful when reducing the amount of threads)

- [Drug, Supplement, Food, etc] question

- [symptom] Question

- Trigger warning: [insert trigger here]

...

 

The team have been discussing the use of prefixes (tags). They can very useful, and even provide for extra search functionality. We need to be careful to avoid prefixes which will create silos. I am not stating that any of suggestions for prefixes necessarily would tend to create silos - only that we need to consider their use carefully so that we avoid unintended consequences.

 

And on a technical note: as far as I know there is no way to two-tier prefixes ('Trigger warning: [insert trigger here]'). I should add/ask, would trigger warnings tend towards creating silos, where some groups of members never interact and learn from each other? It must be a possibility so would require careful consideration. I am just keen for us to avoid negative unintended consequences. But neither should be so risk adverse to not testing waters. After all, we can always change course if need be.

 

Along those lines. Could be customizable. It would give the reader an idea of what sort of response the poster is looking for while also protecting themselves by giving them a heads up of what they are about to read. Too often I will be halfway through a post and be like WHOA that was unexpected. Or, and this happens even more frequently, it is very hard to tell if a Buddy just wants to blow off steam and have people say: that fking sucks vs. when they want to be told everything is going to be alright. That could help solve this notion of toxic positivity coming through - which I think is mainly a result of people just wanting to vent and instead hearing everyone will get better and heal. I hope that makes sense.

 

It is balancing act. On the one hand, members appreciate being informed about the nature of threads and posts they read. But at the same time, we should not unnecessarily burden members with a long list of requirements before they post to the forum. There is a lot for us all to explore with the new software.