Please help needed!

[[Pl...]]

Hello,

 

I am not sure if this is the right place to post what is going on with me for over a year. If not please move my story, to the right area. I am not asking for medical advice either.

 

In May of 2022 I was taking Lexapro (I think 15 mg a day and 5 mg of Abilify) along with Xanax up to 1.5 mg a day as needed. I started taking Prozac in May of 2017 when I was diagnosed with a blood disorder and had been taking antidepressants since I was 16 on and off for OCD (with 3 different psychiatrists) no benzos. In May of 2017 I started seeing my current doctor. He started me off if I remember correctly on Zoloft 50 mg then up to 200 mg a day and added Abilify 5 mg. He also gave me Xanax. I don't remember the dosage back then. Since May of 2017 he has moved my medication around several times. He switched me back and from Zoloft to Lexapro. He also changed the benzodiazepines from Xanax to Ativan and Valium. All of these were different dosages.

 

Getting back to my original story, in May of 2022 I had made the mistake of stopping my medicine abruptly without realizing, what would happen. On June 6 I started feeling very unwell. I went to my primary doctor complaining of dizziness, shortness of breath, panic attacks, and severe leg cramps. She ran all kinds of bloodwork, and it came back normal. She gave me medication for vertigo and said to take it, along with a prescription for Valium up to 5mg as needed. I filled both and started taking the vertigo medication. I started to experience more dizziness and went back to see her again a few days later. She ran more blood tests, and they came back normal. Finally on June 13th, I went to the ER for the first time complaining of leg aches. They ran blood tests again and tested my magnesium levels. They were all normal. The only thing they gave me via I.V. was Toradol. They told me to go back to my primary doctor, which I did the next day. She said she would send me for an MRI (contrast). I had the MRI done on June 17th. It came back normal. I then went to the ER on June 18th complaining of vision issues, dizziness and increasing headaches now. The on-call ER doctor thought, I might have just a bad migraine and gave me a shot of Regan and Valium 2mg. This was the beginning of my nightmare. I went home and the headache subsided some. I came back to the ER about 2 days later complaining of the same symptoms. He thought I might have something called Idiopathic Intercranial Hypertension. He admitted me to the hospital and called a neurologist in. They decided to do a spinal tap on me. Since that was the only way to test for it. It came back normal. However, during that time I was given a dose of Compazine. Another anti-nausea medication like Regan. After 2 days in the hospital, I was sent home. I told the neurologist I was having trouble walking and still dizzy. They prescribed Topamax (50 mg a day) and wanted me to follow up with a neurologist in a couple of weeks. I spent a week in bed at home with horrible dizziness and not feeling well. I couldn't stand any sound and could barely eat. After a week, I begged my family to take me back to the ER which they did, I said I was having more symptoms. Dizziness and trouble walking. I went back to the ER, and they did bloodwork (which was fine) and gave me one pain pill to take. The symptoms didn't get better. After my family left, I visited the ER about two days later again for tachycardia and a severe headache. I was given an I.V. dose of Regan again and told to go home and rest. They encouraged me to continue taking the Topamax and the rescue migraine medication. The next day my headache was so severe, I went back to the ER again and they gave me another dose of Regan. During this time, I experienced weird spasming on my forehead and my leg jerked out. I told the ER doctor about it and he said oh that is normal. I know now the leg jerking out and wanting to jump off the bed was probably akathisia. I went back to the ER a couple of days later again, telling them I was shaking and something was not right with my body. They kicked me out and told me I had anxiety and to go home. In total I went to the ER around 13 times within in a three-week period. I know I might have missed other visits, but my memory is messed up from that time. I spent the next couple of weeks barely able to get out of bed after the final dose of Regan. I started experiencing insomnia, crying spells, headaches, couldn't eat and lost approximately 30 pounds within 3 months of the first dose in June. I visited the neurologist numerous times complaining of several physical symptoms. He prescribed Valium up to 6 mg a day. I did take it (not the entire dose every day) because I was starting to have spasming in my muscles and my left ring finger started to twitch. I had lost muscle tone in my arms and legs and could hardly exercise or walk.  I was put back on Lexapro 10 mg a day, Abilify 5 mg, and Valium up to 10 mg as needed in early August by my psychiatrist and continued to see my neurologist. He did an EMG on my left side in late August. It came back normal. My mental health was beginning to deteriorate even more, so my psychiatrist decided to switch me back to Zoloft in early September. He wanted me to start at 50 and increase to 200 mg a day over several weeks. I did this and continued to take the 5 mg of Abilify as needed and up to 10 mg of Valium a day. My cognitive problems started to worsen badly in October. My neurologist, decided to put me in physical therapy to see if that would help with my balance lifting and walking issues. I went for the sessions but did not seem to get better. In November of 2022 I had to take FMLA from work due to all of the stress. I was at the end of my rope. Between November to early January my symptoms were not that bad. In January I noticed the crying spells started to increase and my doctor changed the dosage of my Zoloft at my request. I wanted to get off of it as quickly as possible. He reduced the dosage over a few weeks from 150 mg to 50 mg. I started to cry more and started to physically shake, and fingers started to twitch and shake badly. He told me to go back up on my Zoloft to 100 mg a day and started Lamictal at 25 mg a day. In late February both my fingers started to move. I was starting to have more and more breakdowns with overwhelming anxiety. I was still taking the Valium up to 15 mg a day as prescribed. Some days I would take 10 mg and others 15 mg, depending on how I was feeling. In early March of this year, the left side of my cheek started to twitch, along with my fingers still jerking. I visited my psychiatrist again with my family and showed him all of the videos, I had captured of my muscles twitching. He said he didn't think the medicine was doing it, it was probably FND. I had been to a movement specialist in October of the previous year and told her about my symptoms. She thought it was probably FND but couldn't diagnose it. I knew in early March it wasn't FND, but something with either the antidepressants, the Regan I was given or the benzos, I had been taking. I started to also develop hot/cold sweats constantly, shaking when doing any kind of activity, my muscles throughout my body started to stiffen and I developed horrible electrical burning throughout my body, gut issues (not being able to eat certain foods), swallowing issues, internal vibrations throughout my body, dizziness worse than anything, all my joints popped, restlessness, crying, horrible thoughts, tinnitus and songs that continued to play on repeat in my head, agoraphobia, didn't want to be left alone, lost sense of self and joy. And the list goes on. I have managed to somehow stay working at my job through all of this. My muscles still tighten up every day, to the back of my neck. My legs constantly ache, my arms shake if I lift even my purse. My fingers and forehead still twitch and move. I can barely make it through the day. I can no longer clean my house, barely cook for myself, go out with friends, etc. I can still drive and working all day wears me out. I have no idea what to do or who to turn too. I have continued taking my medication every day as prescribed. I feel like this is not going to end well for me. I don't know who to turn too. My family is tired of it, and they are getting up in age. I don't have a husband or children. I really don't know where to start, because I don't know if I am in tolerance withdrawal or have kindled myself. I just pray these symptoms stop. I beg God every day for relief, but it never comes. The stories I have read of people not making it and suffering for years with these symptoms scares me. Most of the people, I have read about had the symptoms when they cold turkey-ed off the medicine or were tapering. I have yet to find anyone like me, who developed these symptoms years after taking the medicine. Please if anyone out there is reading this, I will take any advice I can get!

 

Sincerely,

 

Pleasepray06433

[[Ti...]]

Hi PleasePray,

 

First of all, I am so sorry this has happened to you and so sorry about the way you are being treated by medical professionals. They seem to be at a loss when it comes to adverse effects from polydrugging. From what you’ve written, it’s clear that you have been iatrogenically harmed by all of the polydrugging, and the abrupt starts/stops and changes of meds. Usually, once you take away the offending meds, the side effects will dissipate, but it sounds like you did a really hard cold turkey with multiple meds in between all of those changes.

 

I am sure an administrator will swing by here soon to welcome you and send some welcome links. In the meantime, could you tell us exactly what doses you are on right now? And how long after stopping everything initially were you reinstated? If capable, could you add this as a signature so you won’t have to keep answering the same questions over and over a again?

 

I’ve been on a lot of psychotropics over several decades, overlapping and abrupt changes as well, and have some thoughts for you.

[[Pl...]]

Hi Tinkered,

 

I am currently on 100 mg of Zoloft, 25 mg of Lamotrigine and up to 15 mg of Valium a day as needed.  I was off my medication from late May of 2022 until mid-June of 2022. I was reinstated on Lexapro in July of 2022 along with Abilify again. I was taken off of it in September and put on Zoloft. He wanted me to go up to 200 mg and advised to continue taking Abilify. I stayed at 50 mg of Zoloft through December, because I didn't know what was going on with my body. However, sometime in October or November, I was switched to Lamotrigine (25 mg a day) and taken off of Abilify (5mg a day). He tried to switch me duloxetine in December 2022, because I was complaining of muscle pain. I was still on 50 mg of Zoloft in January of 2023. I had taken that dosage since September. He moved me up to 150 mg by late January 2023 and then brought back down to 100 mg in March of 2023. The 25 mg of Lamotrigine he asked me to continue.

 

I really don't know where to go or what to do for help. I know it is not wise to go to a detox facility or stop abruptly taking this medication now. I have taken it consistently since March of this year without any changes. I feel like this is all my fault.

 

Thank you for your kindness.

[[Mi...]]

Its not your fault. Never even think that again.

Docters shouldnt have messed with dosing and constant change of polydrugs,

 

Im.sorry to hear your suffering. Sounds like clear benzo withdrawel.

Amazing you can even work.

 

I cant help you much, because to many meds i dont know, but it can take months of reinstating

To get back stable (took me good 4 to 6 months)  and if what you take now is not enough,  you might need to reinstate higher. 15mg valium isnt a crazy high dose.

 

Best of luck, keep updating, it helps.

 

Ps try not to write all in one sentence. Its very difficult to read huge walls of letters without a visual break.

 

 

[[Ni...]]

It seems you need to stabilize just not sure which drug is causing what. It may be the valium that needs adjusting. Hopefully you can find a benzo wise doctor or maybe an addiction specialist who knows what they’re doing. It’s tough to find help but I hope you keep looking. It’s unbelievable you can still work through all this. I’m sorry for your suffering. I know exactly what you’re experiencing because of my own benzo experience.