Interdose withdrawals looking to get off of Klonopin

[[je...]]

Im sorry it's this bad. Mine is definitely bearable. It shouldn't feel excruciating all the time then you're still in acute withdrawal. So it should lessen. I just meant it doesn't necessarily go away and at some point the baseline settles and remains like that for some people.

 

If you're stabilized and start cutting slowly then you won't feel this bad again. That is why we keep advocating for small cuts on the forum because gosh, these rapid reductions hit you like a ton of bricks. Just know you're not alone. Many of us have been there, myself included,  so we sort of know what to expect. It's tough while you're in it, but you're going to get through this.

[[Wh...]]

*Thank you to Jelly Belly for moving this thread

 

I will update until the end, I have been crying the last couple of days, I don't know from what. I feel paralyzed sometimes, my brain cannot think of the next action, they are very strange feelings.......... I've been losing myself more recently, people are less inclined to believe what you say when you have trouble making sense...... what am I feeling now?...... I am currently still on 0.5 Klonopin........ Have experienced extreme agitation the past couple of days with deep pounding heart palpitations and SI in the morning. Still hoping to hold.

 

There are people saying tolerance withdrawal often happens in individuals taking it daily but don't know if that is the case with me for taking it going on 15 weeks now..... I should have gotten off when I had the chance...... haha.... I don't know where this is coming from....... don't know what to feel.... 

[[je...]]

You've now been holding a month after the rapid reductions right? Unfortunately it can take some time to stabilize again. It might be that the amount you updosed could not be sufficient enough so it takes a bit more time or it could be your medication history at play as well. I know we've also discussed tolerance before, so I understand it's very complicated and we have lots to consider. Personally I think you need to hold a bit longer - I would hate to see you go through an unnecessary difficult withdrawal again due to the accumulation of cuts. My feeling is 6-8 weeks hold in total after the updose? I don't think we should hold until all symptoms subside due to the possible tolerance issues you've experienced before.

My heart aches that you're going through so much at this stage, but I'm in awe of your tenacity and perseverance. I know you have a bright future ahead of you.

[[Wh...]]

On 7/24/2023 at 7:48 PM, [[j...] said:

You've now been holding a month after the rapid reductions right? Unfortunately it can take some time to stabilize again. It might be that the amount you updosed could not be sufficient enough so it takes a bit more time or it could be your medication history at play as well. I know we've also discussed tolerance before, so I understand it's very complicated and we have lots to consider. Personally I think you need to hold a bit longer - I would hate to see you go through an unnecessary difficult withdrawal again due to the accumulation of cuts. My feeling is 6-8 weeks hold in total after the updose? I don't think we should hold until all symptoms subside due to the possible tolerance issues you've experienced before.

My heart aches that you're going through so much at this stage, but I'm in awe of your tenacity and perseverance. I know you have a bright future ahead of you.

Long post below sorry..............

You have no idea how much your words mean to me.............. You're one of the few who truly understands........ At this stage right now have seen some improvement but the bad times.... they are bad. Is this brain fog right now a sign of tolerance?....... Sorry if I sound like a broken record about this......... It's been close to 4 weeks now...... I can try and hold further but won't set expectations high..... would like to just have one day without complete burnout.........

Completely burnout is when doing passive activities even........ dull headache becomes very bad, you want to hit yourself because you can't make the pain stop....... everyday at some point it will happen............ 

If I should not hold until symptoms subside............ I am scared of even touching the dose as is...... such a rock and a hard place....... seldom find anyone with as much empathy as you have............... I have said this repeatedly but you are a very kind soul........

If I continue to drop is it possible for the brain fog to get better?....... Only seeing better long term results if I am continuing to taper and not just hold for long periods of time?........... What I fear most is akathisia.......... in this state, would be very bad... Jordan Peterson (I have no opinion of him) had experienced it with this same drug and because I've experienced it in the past I am afraid of it.................. I had beta blockers and cogentin to help before but now am too sensitive.............

 

Have the support of family and friends..... recently reminded of that..... hurts all the more..... In the beginning parents had arranged meeting with Mark Leeds but this was just as starting benzos...... they thought he may know something about AD withdrawal but unfortunately not...... wish I could ask about this.......... but the best course of action seems to be holding...... a little longer.....

 

Because of how little brain fog has changed feels like it is dependent on the benzo dose currently taking........ will only be stuck this way and current routine  is not good....... so hope that it improves a little bit more and move from there..... although I don't like thinking about it.........

[[je...]]

Hi Whelmet

One of the hardest part of this is not being able to predict what's going to happen. From collective experience we can identify trends but benzo withdrawal still remains a very unique and individualized experience. Not a single person's withdrawal experience mirror's someone else's. Our brains are so unique in their functioning and how they respond to these drugs, there is no one-size-fits all. I wish I can guarantee there will be no akathisia, but I can't. I'm also not 100% sure if you have tolerance withdrawal, it just sounds like it. I can tell you that I've read about several people whose symptoms got better when they got lower and even people in tolerance withdrawal who felt better when they tapered lowered. 

If you do feel you want a professional opinion, you could consider contacting Dr Witt-Doerring. He is one of the few that knows about tapering psych drugs and I have a lot of respect for what he is doing for our community. He can only accept patients in certain states though.  Here's a link to their page if you're interested: https://wittdoerringpsychiatry.com/

This is a very tough journey and you are doing so great! It might not feel that way now, but you have done amazingly considering what you have been through. Keep holding on day by day. 

 

[[ro...]]

I looked at that link for the DR and hes is MAJOR expensive to make an appt. Thousands of dollars.

[[Wh...]]

...............caved in............. took 0.75............. don't think it's making a difference but now getting naps and waking up with heart palpitations and very strong SI in the morning............ could klonopin cause that?................ very unfortunate................

[[Pa...]]

I'm so sorry to hear you're not doing well, have things improved at all?

[[Wh...]]

On 09/08/2023 at 20:42, [[P...] said:

I'm so sorry to hear you're not doing well, have things improved at all?

I am still here............... still taking 0.75............ frequent SI with some moderate days inbetween..... just not a good situation....... cherishing loved ones.............. 

[[Pa...]]

I’m glad you can cherish loved ones, I had difficulty connecting with my feelings for them, the drug robs us of so much. What are you doing for distraction, is anything working? 

You’ve been holding this dose for awhile, no improvement?  Have you considered going up any more?  Staying at this dose doesn’t seem to be helping you much.

[[je...]]

I'm sorry this is such a difficult process for you. I know it must feel relentless. I am encouraged by the moderate days. On the previous forum I had a quote under my avatar saying "your present is not your future'. Please hold on to the fact that this is temporary. Take it day by day. You will get through this.

[[Wh...]]

On 25/08/2023 at 15:18, [[j...] said:

I'm sorry this is such a difficult process for you. I know it must feel relentless. I am encouraged by the moderate days. On the previous forum I had a quote under my avatar saying "your present is not your future'. Please hold on to the fact that this is temporary. Take it day by day. You will get through this.

I AM HERE

On 25/08/2023 at 14:14, [[P...] said:

I’m glad you can cherish loved ones, I had difficulty connecting with my feelings for them, the drug robs us of so much. What are you doing for distraction, is anything working? 

You’ve been holding this dose for awhile, no improvement?  Have you considered going up any more?  Staying at this dose doesn’t seem to be helping you much.

I AM HERE. DOC WILL NOT UPDOSE. I WILL CRY FOR IT. I AM EUPHORIC. I WILL GO OUT BRIGHT. I DO NOT KNOW WHAT I AM EXPERIENCING NOW. I TRIED KETAMINE TREATMENT. I AM NOT SUR E WHAT TO DO. I AM HERE. I AM HERE. IA MCRYING I AM HERE 

[[je...]]

How did it go with the ketamine treatment? Is it possible to find yourself a different doctor to prescribe?

I'm so deeply sorry. I'm crying with you. 

[[Pa...]]

@[Wh...] How can we help, please talk to us. 

[[Wh...]]

To the incredible support I have received thus far thank you, I have and will always update when I am able to. A month ago I had made a plan and was close to setting out on it before making a drastic change from 100mg Zoloft to 20mg Lexapro. By that time I was not really aware of what was going around me but intent on not wanting to live anymore. Within that change I had begun to see some noteworthy changes, most notably being able to lie down more which I see as a good sign but am suffering horrible insomnia and daily naps, and the ordeal of sleeping and slowly losing function midday to go to bed, I wish it were more relaxing but that restlessness and unease are still present. At this point I keep going between absolute apathy and desperately wanting to live for my loved ones. 

I have raised Klonopin dose to 1mg a day split into two 0.5 doses. Not happy with this but am hoping this will hold. I don't know. Really don't know. Have enrolled in a tapering program and will try to give updates from that as well. Extremely black moods passing about time passing right now and not feeling like I am getting anywhere even though I have experienced some tremendous relief, but on the other end I do not know if lexapro will be harder to get off of in the future or if some kind of adverse effect may arise later on. 

I see that is has been two months since posting, sorry for not posting earlier, absolutely felt near death's door and do not know how this staff is able to manage with so many struggling individuals with varying levels of severity. Low self esteem and helplessly trying to exert my body and try to strengthen it any way possible but it all seems futile. Can do without the negativity I bring into it and rumination but it was always there in some capacity, and in those times before I was able to cannel it into something moderately productive. 

I feel as thought I owe to this community and hopefully if able to will submit drawings relating to this and perhaps some unrelated drawings, don't know if there is a separate topic for that or if it is appropriate for personal threads or the storage limit. Something to leave behind, anything. I had wanted to make a novel documenting every bit of this experience but it does not seem that it will happen at any time. Feels like I am on a hair trigger and one false move will make everything awry. Every night I have deep ideation, that mental restlessness that I wish so badly I could describe lingers but I am thankful that during the day I am able to occupy myself with a little bit more and spend some more time amongst family.

I have now been doing ketamine for over 8 weeks now, I believe the next one will be 11th session. Initially the day of treatment I would feel like my normal self almost and the following day have increased agitation and restlessness but that has seemed to have died down quite a bit and the experiences gained from these sessions have been insightful despite the side effects. I believe that this may also have something to do with this but whether it was the antidepressant change or the ketamine or both I still cannot fully discern yet. Sorry for the wall of text.

 

 

Sorry for the wall of text.

Edited November 2, 2023 by [Wh...]

[[Wh...]]

Had first group session with tapering group and I have an individual session to discuss a tapering plan next week, planning to go for 9 months with this and using a compounding pharmacy. It seems promising and days are not much of note with periods of ideation and being able to get some things done

[[Pa...]]

Hi @[Wh...], it sounds like you’ve made some positive changes and the ketamine treatments may be helping?  Happy to hear you’ve found a group and are getting individual help as well.

Can you explain what you mean about drawings, I’m interested in hearing what you have in mind and have the perfect place to display them if you’ll come back and let us know more about it.