Tip of the Iceberg

[[Ch...]]

A friend recreationally gave me xanax and I discovered it helped me immensely with breaking out of a very isolated lifestyle. 

I sought out benzos to treat my agoraphobia and anxiety thereafter. 

It has been 8 years now and I have juggled dosages of xanax, xr, klonopins, and valium.

I have gone cold turkey, tapered with the Ashton Manual countless of times.

My dosage can has varied from .25mg to 4mg, and 8mg for klonopin. 

I am currently relapsing and likely abusing doses. 

I shake my head and close my eyes in deep deep pain.

[[Pa...]]

Hello Chasel, welcome to BenzoBuddies,

 

I’m sorry to hear the drug that helped you has turned on you but we understand.  Is it your desire to taper off the medication one final time?  If so, we can help, we recommend reducing your dose by about 5-10% every couple of weeks or whatever your symptoms dictate, hopefully this can keep you functional. Have you noticed your withdrawals getting worse each time you attempt to taper?

 

I’ll provide some links to help you get started on the forum but please let us know how we can help you.

 

Pamster

 

Colorado Consortium Benzodiazepine Deprescribing Guidance

 

Planning Your Withdrawal (Taper)

 

Withdrawal Support (during your taper)

 

Ashton Manual symptom list

[[Ch...]]

Dear Pam,

Thanks for your reply.  I see you've had a lot of issues with Ativan and Klonopin.  Congrats if you are out of the woods for good. 

 

I haven't been doing well with benzos recently.  I had a domestic violence incident occur in my home back in February and I've gradually gone into a pretty hard relapse to this day.  I've been very loose taking klonopin and xanax for two months now.  Moreover, I'm not even going out or meeting people.  I have full blown agoraphobia.  I've also been isolating myself never leaving my home, never answering messages or telephone calls. 

 

I would love to be able to taper and finally get off of it, but realistically it seems like I need to get control of my life.  I have a lot of problems right now and I haven't been able to solve them.  So I think getting into a consistent routine first is what I should be doing and then getting into taper mode.  I'm also noticing that my cognitive function is really bad now. 

 

I've made bad decisions and I would say I've had a lot of bad luck.  On the benzo front, it's been 8 years now.  I lost my 30s basically, I am unemployed, I am hiding from my friends family the world.  Sitting at home distracting myself and takign my monthly allotment of benzos.  =(. 

 

1) Consistent Routine

2) Support

 

Thanks.

[[Pa...]]

I’m so sorry to hear about the domestic violence, I can understand spiraling because of that but it doesn’t sound like you’re ready to face another taper right now.  I do hope you’ll reach out to a therapist or someone you trust, isolating doesn’t help, and the fact you reached out to us means you know you need to do something so I hope you will.

 

Let us know when you’re ready to tackle the benzo’s, we’ll be here.