Off valium, looking for support and knowledge

[[Fy...]]

Hey there buddies,

 

I'm here for support, I suppose, and to learn as I keep going through this, and maybe to help someone else too!

I tapered off of diazepam (valium) and officially have been off it since March 23rd. So, exactly 1 monthe today. I was on them for 8 years, I think. I legit can't remember exactly when I was put on it, but I believe it was some time in 2016, as that is when my mental and physical health plummeted.

I was in a bad situation, and I had memories of a sexual assault that happened to me when I was about five resurface. I ended up in the psych ward for a week and have been in therapy ever since.

Mentally and emotionally I'm doing much better even though I didn't sleep for 3 days at one point last week.

So, I'm gonna consider that a miracle at least.

I feel awful, but I'm really trying to keep going and not get totally drawn into the negative emotions. The intrusive thoughts are intense, especially given I have dealt with a lot of trauma in my life.

But I also remember stuff I'd totally forgotten, which I hope is a sign of healing. I mean good things too, neutral things. I remembered the other day a book I read in middle school that I had entirely forgotten. It was a bizarre experience. I saw a video of someone embroidering. I then had this weird visual thought about my mom embroidering a shirt, (I'm an artist, a very visual thinker), and then I had this memory that I recognized but that was something I had totally forgotten until that moment, of blue thread. I knew it was something that had stemmed from a book. I had to google but when Gathering Blue (I think it's a sequel to The Giver) popped up I remembered I had read it and that was where the memory came from!

So that was cool. I hope I recall more things. (Like the plot of Sherlock. I know I watched it. I don't remember it at all.)

Other stuff about me, I'm an artist, like I said. I love animals and plants, and I love shows and movies, and reading. I'm a big nerd.

I hope to find a good place here and to be helpful where I can.

-FyreHeart

[[Br...]]

Hello FyreHeart - Welcome to BenzoBuddies!

 

We're glad you've joined us!  I'm sorry you've been through such a tough time.  It's good to know you were able to taper off valium and that you've experienced some healing.  What was your taper like?  You've come to the right place for good information and support to help you through the next phases.

 

Please take your time to explore the site and be sure to ask any questions you may have.  I'll give you some links below to help you get started but the important thing is that you reach out for support.

 

Welcome!  We're glad you're here-

Brighterday

 

Post-withdrawal Recovery Support 

 

Success Stories

 

Colorado Consortium Benzodiazepine Deprescribing Guidance

 

Chapter 3 Ashton manual, list of symptoms

 

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[[Be...]]

Sounds like a rough road, but i was glad to see some positives at tgmhe end of your post! What kind of art do you like to do? Have you been able to use that to help cope?