Is C/T really my only option?

[[Mo...]]

Just got done reading another bbs journey and it shook me to the core. I don't know if I'm strong enough to be able to handle a fraction of what he's been through he's has a similar situation to me. I'm afraid. I have accepted that this road will be hard. Doesn't make it any less scary. Idk what to do. I having sensation in my throat, in my chest, and general tightness in my back. If I'm not handling house responsibilities I'm immersing myself into my gaming with little effect .the thoughts keep creeping in on how bad this is going to get I haven't even started the acute phase yet. I never been religious,since all this has been happening all I do is pray, praying  for not to go through something really debilitating. Praying for people and myself for a quick recovery. I am not strong man. I crumble fairly easy. Always been this way. Please God don't let my suffering be immense. I will not be able to handle it. Sorry for rambling.

[[Pa...]]

Benzo's are great muscle relaxers so when we stop taking them, they complain, this is what you're feeling.  Think about when you exercise and your muscles get stiff, this is a variation of that.

 

I need to caution you, stress is not our friend, when we focus on the negative, doom scrolling through these pages, we can actually cause ourselves the problems we fear.

 

You can absolutely taper, we certainly don't want to stop you from doing what you feel is best.  Would you like to discuss it?

[[Mo...]]

Idk what's best. I don't even know if I want to taper. I always had servere crippling anxiety my whole life. Now I have this to deal with. I'm trying hard not to lurk through the forum but I'm hunting for reassurance that I will be ok. That this is a phase that I will be able to get passed.that my will should be able to carry me through. Sorry again for the rambling.

[[Br...]]

Trying to maintain a positive, hopeful outlook is challenging but it can make a big difference in coping with quitting benzos.  One of the best ways to get an infusion of hope is to dive into Success Stories. 

 

As Pamster said, if you decide you feel too uncomfortable just quitting your benzo after short term use, we can help you plan a taper.  Please let us know.

[[Mo...]]

Would it be ok to try and CT and if unable reinstate for a taper?

[[Pa...]]

Yes, I think that's a good plan.  As I said, most tapers are miserable, they're a useful tool because but they come with challenges and symptoms.  If you can begin your recovery now, you're that much ahead and your body can begin the repair process.  In the next few days, if things become unmanageable then you can move in a different direction but I'd sure like to see you try this first, I hate to see you add months of tapering if you don't have to.

[[Mo...]]

I agree. Thank for being so patient with me. I know i can be a lil over the top. Especially when my anxiety is flaring. I will try my best to manage it during this process.

[[Re...]]

When you go through benzo withdrawal, chances are that you won't have anxiety any longer about anything. The anxiety I had before this was a luxury. So the good news is that you might heal anxiety permanently.

[[Pa...]]

Rebecca29 is right, I've heard many members say the anxiety they had before benzo's is nothing compared to this and they manage it successfully without medication when they recover.

[[Re...]]

NOTHING

[[Mo...]]

I hope so pamster, you went cold turkey as well didn't you? Do you still have side effects?

[[Pa...]]

I quit in 2007 so I've been recovered for a very long time and yes, I quit cold turkey.

[[Mo...]]

Do you remember at all what it was like year 1 and 2?

[[Pa...]]

I can remember generally but the horror faded a long time ago.  The first 2 weeks are a blur of pain but after that I started to function and could return to work after 3 weeks.  I was miserable but functional.  You need to know that I was on the drug for at least 5 years and my top dose was 10 mgs of Klonopin a day so we can't really compare notes because you were on the drug at a smaller dose for a much shorter time.

[[Mo...]]

I can remember generally but the horror faded a long time ago.  The first 2 weeks are a blur of pain but after that I started to function and could return to work after 3 weeks.  I was miserable but functional.  You need to know that I was on the drug for at least 5 years and my top dose was 10 mgs of Klonopin a day so we can't really compare notes because you were on the drug at a smaller dose for a much shorter time.

did you have tinnitus?

[[Pa...]]

Yes, but it wasn’t as bad as some have it and it went away well before I fully recovered.

[[ap...]]

Just got done reading another bbs journey and it shook me to the core. I don't know if I'm strong enough to be able to handle a fraction of what he's been through he's has a similar situation to me. I'm afraid. I have accepted that this road will be hard. Doesn't make it any less scary. Idk what to do. I having sensation in my throat, in my chest, and general tightness in my back. If I'm not handling house responsibilities I'm immersing myself into my gaming with little effect .the thoughts keep creeping in on how bad this is going to get I haven't even started the acute phase yet. I never been religious,since all this has been happening all I do is pray, praying  for not to go through something really debilitating. Praying for people and myself for a quick recovery. I am not strong man. I crumble fairly easy. Always been this way. Please God don't let my suffering be immense. I will not be able to handle it. Sorry for rambling.

 

Moppies-

 

If Im tired and I start running i will fail. If Im already closing a door- I cant go out. If I go fishing and dont use bait because another person told me not too- I wont catch anything,

 

If I get mad at a person before  i know what they are going to say- I never was blessed with the kind words they may have told me.

 

If I read a book which i have plenty of and watched videos of peoples deep dark journeys Im gonna be in a place that Il fail to some degree-

 

I'm not Religious- but I have Faith that keeps a part of my focus at times when I get to a difficult part of life- Not just starting my 36 year withdrawal's safe and slow and with a focus on tomorrow instead of a time when I succeed, but all lifes difficult paths that we have literally no clue of the end outcome. Life is NOT easy and we could focus on what we think is impossible or we can focus on each day as it being another day.

 

Its not fun- but its doing able. Read the success stories? Trying to no immerse yourself in Computer games as they are all anxiety stressors. I take days away from the comp and leave everything of and dark occasionally and I pray meditate, sleep, whatever to prep for the next week.

 

Ive Had three miraculous Cervical Spine surgeries in the last 20 years and I think about how id God (god) can do that then he /she will help me along this path-

Sign number 1, He showed me this forum and Its something Ive needed for ages- Im not alone- your not alone- we all are together to carry each others pains and growth.

 

Don't rush into nothing- If it takes 10 years, that's fine :-)

 

Learn from other and see that many did well and are getting through just fine-

 

Going Cold Turkey is insane with any drug- That's why you need to let Paymaster and others point you to taper townies-

Ashton Manual- etc.. And worse comes to worse? go slower.

 

I get over the top and at those times- I leave the comp alone or if i need to ill message somebody-

 

You can do this :-) And someday youill be thanking God or your higher power- or others that you didn't fail!

 

Good Luck!!- We all need luck but we have have skills and techniques so its not about luck :-)