The Struggle goes on

[[Al...]]

Hello

I have been reading the Benzo Buddies board since 2017 when I first came face to face with Benzo Monster while trying to taper from Xanax. The board has been my comfort and has calmed me down many times when I was lost for information and stories like mine, and the community made me feel less alone and strengthened me. I have been tapering from alprazolam since 2018 after a year of 1mg 3 times a day or 'as needed', and the 'as needed' turned into horrific abuse of the Xanax RX.  Now it is early 2023, and I have only made it to .25/ 3 x a day. Very disgusted with myself for not being able to do better.

 

[[Pa...]]

Hello Allesverloren, welcome to BenzoBuddies,

 

We’re very happy you’ve joined, I’ve tried reading the forum as a guest and I find it frustrating, its so much more personal when we can know who is saying what, so much more relatable so welcome.

 

Please don’t be disgusted with yourself, you’ve done what you could and no one can ask more than that.  The drug has us thinking so negatively about ourselves, we have to do our best to fight against those feelings.  For most of us, this is the most difficult thing we’ll ever face, it helps to find people who understand.

 

I’ll give you some links to help you find your way around but please, let us know how we can help.

 

Pamster

Colorado Consortium Benzodiazepine Deprescribing Guidance

 

Planning Your Withdrawal (Taper)

 

Withdrawal Support (during your taper)

 

Ashton Manual symptom list

[[Al...]]

Thank you for the warm welcome!  Happy I finally came out of the benzo closet! This board has saved me from severe panic attacks many times. I will try to do the same for others now that I am posting. Thanks again!  I admire you so much for what you are doing here and the people you have helped and given hope to.

[[Pa...]]

Hope to see you around the forum, and its a labor of love, this forum was here for me when I needed it so I'm returning the favor. 

[[Be...]]

Celebrate some succes. Even from the original RX of 1mg 3x a day you have tapered down 75% of the way.... and tbat doesnt include the "as needed abuse" you mentioned.

 

Just keep it consistent. Keep the step down well under 10% and give yourself time to level out. You can even have a compounding pharmacy make specific dosages if needed. Heck man, ive had to lick the dust out of bottle before.

 

You are climbing mount everest of mental challenges.

Also recognize that the "im disgusted with myself" kind of thoughts are a common side effect of the tapering process. Dont dwell on them and dont let them take root and eat away at your self worth.

 

You are valuable, and you are worth more than the poison thoughts of withdrawl. Commit to making it to the other side.