My road on benzos

[[pa...]]

Have you had her come on here and read about what other people are going through? Maybe that would help her understand a little better? I'm sorry your going through this but you can do it regardless of if she's there with you or not. Of course it would be easier if she understood and supported you but mostly it's up to you to get through this. PEople can make you feel better sometimes but not always and no matter what she will never fully understand what your going through.

We're always here to listen to you and support you. We know what your going through!

Hope you feel better.

Amanda

[[ti...]]

I have asked her to read and learn so she would understand a little more, but she doesn't want to because before I was constantly reading bad stories and it only made me worse.She doesn't realize this is support and really has no idea what I am and will be going through.It's been 8 months of me strugling with psych meds and only getting worse instead of better.I don't think I can get her to understand.She has come to the point she'd rather not hear about and I have to pretend to be okay even when I'm not, which is not healthy or helping me in any way.It's so strange.She never used to be this way.Breaks my heart

[[ti...]]

Today was pretty good.The anxiety I woke up with finally passed and I went out and ran a few errands and went to see my grandma.I actually took a nap(which never happens), but upon waking my anxiety is back again .I am adding my second crossover tomorrow, wish me luck.I will probably need support the next few days if it's rough.Again thank you so much everyone.

[[Th...]]

Hi tiffj,

 

It sounds like all in all you had a good day. Hope everything goes fine with your crossover. I find that my anxiety is the worse in the mornings and when I wake up even from a nap. I drink chamomile tea with two bags and that helps some. Don't forget to take deep breaths through your nose slowly and exhale through your mouth slowly.

 

Take care!

[[pa...]]

I drink chamo tea too and it does help. Sounds like you had an ok day though which is better then an out right bad one. Hope tomorrow is better!

We'll be here whenever you need to talk or need support.

Amanda

[[ti...]]

Thanks guys.Ya, I did drink some chamomile and it did help some.I love sleep so much, but I hate the waking up part.Most days the anxiety doesn't last long then others it sticks around.I'm not feeling too bad right now, a little down.You are right though, I'd rather have at least part of the day be good then none of it.

[[ti...]]

Theresa, how are you doing with your taper?I c u are direct tapering?

[[Th...]]

So far, so good. A couple bumps in the road but now having to hold two weeks. Not sure what my next step will be. Won't be until April 18. We'll see how things go for the rest of this cut.

[[ti...]]

It's great that you have come that far.I hope all goes well

[[Th...]]

Thanks! 

[[ti...]]

Is there anyone on here who successfully switched over to valium that could help me out?I am told these down feelings will pass, but it would help if someone with personal experience could help.I did speak with someone who said they felt like a zombie after 6 days(similar to my feeling)and had to go back to their original benzo.I don't want to get too far down the valium road and have to try to restabilize on k if this is how it's going to be.Of course depression comes with benzos and withdrawal, but this is more of a flat emotionless uncomfortable horrible feeling than I experienced on k.

[[Th...]]

Is there anyone on here who successfully switched over to valium that could help me out?I am told these down feelings will pass, but it would help if someone with personal experience could help.I did speak with someone who said they felt like a zombie after 6 days(similar to my feeling)and had to go back to their original benzo.I don't want to get too far down the valium road and have to try to restabilize on k if this is how it's going to be.Of course depression comes with benzos and withdrawal, but this is more of a flat emotionless uncomfortable horrible feeling than I experienced on k.

 

Have you tried the search engine in the upper right hand corner? I only know of Jarocho and Tpirog as I have only been around for a couple of months. I think Jarocho answered you in regards to his crossover experience? Have you read through others' blogs and threads to find someone that is similiar to your circumstance? That's what I did.

 

T2

 

 

[[ti...]]

I did but in t's blog he's already crossed over to valium, nothing about the switch that I saw.I did see he was feeling much the same way I am while on it, which is a bit of a worry.

I also spoke with Paxton and sge said she tried to switch and lasted only 6 days because of these feelings.I don't know what to do at this point.

 

I went back to just the k this morning, and all though I'm down, it is not nearly as harsh as yesterday.I have some motivation and am actually going out for a bit with a family member.

 

I keep being told this will subside, but I don't know and I don't think anyone really does.

[[Th...]]

Hi Tiffj,

 

I think it effects everyone different. Why did you want to cross over? Did you consider the K liquid titration? I know I have the roller coaster effects on K too. Some days good, others low. I really don't know what to tell you.

You will get through this no matter what you chose to do, okay?

 

 

Take care! 

[[ti...]]

I started the cross over because I had gone back on k for a month and hadn't stabilized, so I knew I had to do something and get off this stuff.Benzoisland told me to switch to valium.I started crossing over and 2 days later had my first good day in over a month.I just don't know if it was due to the valium or that I was finally stabilizing.Things were getting a little bit better before, but I woke up 2 days after and had a good day.

 

Today I am extra anxious.I just don't know what to do at this point.My greates fear is getting fully on valium and it doesn't take the place of k.I can not imagine going back to that place I was at.Severe akathisia,no sleep, not able to eat,shaking,pain,etc.I know this was the withdrawal, but if the valium cross doesn't work won't I be in withdrawal from k all over again?

[[ru...]]

Hi tiffj,

 

I went from xanax to valium and was zonked at first. My xanax dose was .75 and I crossed to 15 mg valium-- and it was a complete in one whack crossover, no taking it step by step. All I did was sleep. I then went down really fast so in a week I was at 10 mg and the next week at 5 mg. I had only been on xanax at a stable dose for 21 days though. I didn't hit the anxieties until about 1.5 mg. However when I was awake I was almost OCD. Manic for sure.

 

I know this probably isn't all that helpful since I wasn't on klonipin but still it was a crossover to valium.

 

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

 

rufus

[[de...]]

Hi Tiffj,

I am on Klono as well. Down from 2mg to .925mg per day. Started 140108. I had some capsules made by a compounding chemist here in Australia. They are .050mg so 1/10 of a .500mg tablet. I have just started to use these, in my recent cut, .075mg. A small one, because I had been stuck at 1mg. They seem to be ok for me, so far. A small cut is better than none at all and they are equivalent to 1mg Vallium???I think, apparently. If you have no luck with your crossover, compounding may be something to consider!! I will be away for a week or so but will keep up with your post when I get back to see how you are going. And update mine! Goodluck whichever way you go.    Regards Deedee Debbie

[[ti...]]

Thanx deedee.I don't know where I'd find a compounding pharmacist and I haven't worked in 3 months and have no health insurance so............

[[de...]]

I just did a google search. There are apparently heaps around and your chemist etc might be able to help you find one, or if you put your area in a post, someone else may know of one in your area. 100 caps cost me $40.00 AUD. I don't have health cover, but because I am in Australia I don't know how it works over there. I just spoke to the comp chemist. Asked him if he could gaurantee the quality of the cap. He said Klono was pretty stable and he would gaurantee quality. If you read into this site there is ideas how to compound for yourself also?? I am pretty sure. But I just sent him 10 .500mg pills and he sent me back 100 .050mg caps. Hope you can find somewhere to help you at an affordable price, if you decide to go this way. I know from being on this site for a few months that many cross over and have success and many also titrate. Haven't spoke to many that used compounding - but Colin seems to think that it will be fine and give me a lot of flexibility towards the later stages of my cuts. Going away for a week but will definately catch up asap. Take care and goodluck no matter which way you decide to go.

  deedee Debbie

[[ti...]]

I have decided to try to continue my cross to valium and see what happens, I have talked with a few  people who said the depression lifted, so I just pray it will.

 

Before I quit benzos,and in withdrawal, they caused me a lot of pain when I was asleep and upon waking.Yesterday and today that pain is back.My head,face,hands,legs,and feet all hurt and tingle.I'm finding I'm waking up very anxious again too, and the pain doesn't help matters.

 

I will be so glad for the day I am done with all this, it seems like it will be 4ever.I just keep silently praying this cross is going to work.I don't want to go back to the "black hole" of depression I've just come out of

[[ti...]]

Today is a bad day .My whole body hurts and I'm so sad not knowing what to do.My brain/body has been through so much the passed few months.I only started feeling half way okay last week.I don't know if doing all of these changes is going to hurt me.I do know I have had a lot of good days over the passed week, guess the fear of losing that is what really gets me.If I can continue to have some good days I can make it.

[[Be...]]

I'm so sorry you are having a bad day.  Just know that "this too shall pass" and hang on.  It can be discouraging after feeling somewhat better and thinking "I can do this" to hit one of these bad patches.  I have been up and down many times during my taper.  I so love those "windows" into what my life could be like again but hate it when the blinds come down and withdrawal symptoms return with a vengenance.  Hang on to your memory of the better times; they will return. 

[[ti...]]

Ya.I don't know if it's a window or if I just finally stabilized after being off and reinstating.That's more what it seems like to me.

 

It's kind of been going 2 good days,bad day,good day,bad day,ok day,bad day.

 

I just really feel the valium makes me irritated and emotionless.I don't even want to pay attention to my dogs(who I love so much)or my partner,the love of my life.It could just be withdrawal too.

 

I think I'm going back to k, if I still feel this way than I know it's not the valium

[[pa...]]

Sorry to hear your still not feeling too well. You can go back to k or you could try sticking it out a couple more days. Depends on how bad you reallhy feel and of course what you want to do.

Hope you feel better really soon!

Amanda 

[[tr...]]

Ya.I don't know if it's a window or if I just finally stabilized after being off and reinstating.That's more what it seems like to me.

 

It's kind of been going 2 good days,bad day,good day,bad day,ok day,bad day.

 

I just really feel the valium makes me irritated and emotionless.I don't even want to pay attention to my dogs(who I love so much)or my partner,the love of my life.It could just be withdrawal too.

 

I think I'm going back to k, if I still feel this way than I know it's not the valium

 

Some people have tapered of k, it seems it has been harder for them, but if that is what you feel you must do to get through this then someone can help you with a taper of that.  It does seem to leveling out for you though.  You might wait a couple of more days and see what happens.

 

This process is not easy, but it is well worth it.  Life without these drugs is very rewarding.