Cold turkey support group

[[Bl...]]

I still wonder how long I will be in hell.  Anxiety eats me up everyday.  My body tightens up like it’s in a vice grip.  Life seems so hopeless as I see all the normal people.  My family except for 1 has basically nothing to do with me.  I feel like a fly in a spider’s web.  I look in the mirror and wonder who is staring back at me. I often wonder will I ever heal or doomed to this continuously life of pure agony.  I thought be off benzos would be wonderful.

[[Fo...]]

I still wonder how long I will be in hell.  Anxiety eats me up everyday.  My body tightens up like it’s in a vice grip.  Life seems so hopeless as I see all the normal people.  My family except for 1 has basically nothing to do with me.  I feel like a fly in a spider’s web.  I look in the mirror and wonder who is staring back at me. I often wonder will I ever heal or doomed to this continuously life of pure agony.  I thought be off benzos would be wonderful.

Very relative... even today I still have these kind of symptoms.  Just not AS heavy

[[...]]

I still wonder how long I will be in hell.  Anxiety eats me up everyday.  My body tightens up like it’s in a vice grip.  Life seems so hopeless as I see all the normal people.  My family except for 1 has basically nothing to do with me.  I feel like a fly in a spider’s web.  I look in the mirror and wonder who is staring back at me. I often wonder will I ever heal or doomed to this continuously life of pure agony.  I thought be off benzos would be wonderful.

 

I feel exactly the same way. Every muscle is tight, heart pounds, no sleep, brain is on fire. I also thought once I got off the benzo and got thru withdrawal life would start to get better again. Instead ive been thrown into a worse hell because I tried to do the right thing.

[[Fo...]]

I still wonder how long I will be in hell.  Anxiety eats me up everyday.  My body tightens up like it’s in a vice grip.  Life seems so hopeless as I see all the normal people.  My family except for 1 has basically nothing to do with me.  I feel like a fly in a spider’s web.  I look in the mirror and wonder who is staring back at me. I often wonder will I ever heal or doomed to this continuously life of pure agony.  I thought be off benzos would be wonderful.

 

I feel exactly the same way. Every muscle is tight, heart pounds, no sleep, brain is on fire. I also thought once I got off the benzo and got thru withdrawal life would start to get better again. Instead ive been thrown into a worse hell because I tried to do the right thing.

It's pretty horrible.

What are all your symptoms?

I have pain, headache, eye ache, feel clammy all the time.  Awful

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My current symptoms are insomnia (complete inability to sleep except for 3 or 4 hours at night), muscle rigidity, essential tremors, painful eyes, brain on fire, pounding heart, extreme chemical anxiety (worse than any anxiety I have ever felt in my life), partial agoraphobia, feeling clammy, jelly legs, muscle cramps and spasms, achy joints.  Basically I am all around messed up with more problems that a person can handle all at once.

[[le...]]

Just curious why you would all actually choose to go CT? I had no choice was forced to by incompetent and unsympathetic doctor.

[[...]]

Just curious why you would all actually choose to go CT? I had no choice was forced to by incompetent and unsympathetic doctor.

 

 

I was not benzo wise when I quit. My doc told me I could just stop. I thought once I got thru the withdrawal all woukd be fine. I had no idea about the consequences I would face. By the time I found benzobuddies I was already 3 months out and everything I read said it was to late to reinstate. I wish I had though. I dont think my sleep is ever going to repair itself.

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I knew about benzos dangers ( was studying psychology ) before deciding to use them on a daily basis. I asked my psychiatrist to prescribe it. I needed them. I asked to go to the pharmacy every week, to avoid abusing Valium.

 

Because of that, always took the same dosage, even if it was working less with the time. I was like "when I won't feel it anymore, I'll taper down and that's it. Shouldn't take too long.

 

But almost three years passed by, and I was still feeling / using it. So one day, I realized that, got scared and I decided to stop. Valium was starting to have a negative impact on my life. I decided to quit because it reached a climax too, a bad one.

 

So the motivation was huge, and some direct positive effects from stopping Valium, motivated me to keep trying living without benzos. But withdrawals are so bad. But it's a new skill, to learn to cope with them. A useful one.

 

Was feeling much better, but some days it's just so hard, that I tend to forget all the progress I made, all the days without Valium. Had a lot of cravings yesterday. Feeling sad.

 

But overall, I don't regret this choice.

[[Fo...]]

My current symptoms are insomnia (complete inability to sleep except for 3 or 4 hours at night), muscle rigidity, essential tremors, painful eyes, brain on fire, pounding heart, extreme chemical anxiety (worse than any anxiety I have ever felt in my life), partial agoraphobia, feeling clammy, jelly legs, muscle cramps and spasms, achy joints.  Basically I am all around messed up with more problems that a person can handle all at once.

Sounds just like me, In the beginning It was horrible,  I'm really sorry,  the anxiety and panic is inhuman and very terrifying

[[le...]]

Just curious why you would all actually choose to go CT? I had no choice was forced to by incompetent and unsympathetic doctor.

 

 

I was not benzo wise when I quit. My doc told me I could just stop. I thought once I got thru the withdrawal all woukd be fine. I had no idea about the consequences I would face. By the time I found benzobuddies I was already 3 months out and everything I read said it was to late to reinstate. I wish I had though. I dont think my sleep is ever going to repair itself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t believe anything medics say anymore. Had I known how horrendous this would still be after 43 months would never told her I was trying to stop. Just done a taper on my own and still keep getting a script, I had a life on them, no anxiety could live normal life. Sorry you are still suffering.

[[Fo...]]

Just curious why you would all actually choose to go CT? I had no choice was forced to by incompetent and unsympathetic doctor.

 

 

I was not benzo wise when I quit. My doc told me I could just stop. I thought once I got thru the withdrawal all woukd be fine. I had no idea about the consequences I would face. By the time I found benzobuddies I was already 3 months out and everything I read said it was to late to reinstate. I wish I had though. I dont think my sleep is ever going to repair itself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t believe anything medics say anymore. Had I known how horrendous this would still be after 43 months would never told her I was trying to stop. Just done a taper on my own and still keep getting a script, I had a life on them, no anxiety could live normal life. Sorry you are still suffering.

Same going through this....proved how terrible they really are.  Are you feeling bad ?

[[le...]]

Last 3 weeks been worse than ever. I had been taking unisom that I just stopped  don’t know if was that. Not really eating much at moment. If got occasional window could cope with it.

[[...]]

Holy shit guys,

I slept last night. From 10 to 3 and then from 4 to 730. It was crappy light dream filled sleep but it was the best sleep Ive had in a long time. I actually feel ok'ish this morning. All my symptoms are still there in the background but they are not as pronounced. And I didnt wake up dry heaving into the toilet. We will see how the day goes. Its hard to get excited when you know that you can be thrown right back in a couple of hours. I long for the day that I no longer worry about symptoms.

[[...]]

Holy shit guys,

I slept last night. From 10 to 3 and then from 4 to 730. It was crappy light dream filled sleep but it was the best sleep Ive had in a long time. I actually feel ok'ish this morning. All my symptoms are still there in the background but they are not as pronounced. And I didnt wake up dry heaving into the toilet. We will see how the day goes. Its hard to get excited when you know that you can be thrown right back in a couple of hours. I long for the day that I no longer worry about symptoms.

 

Nice to read !

[[...]]

Well it was short lived. The window closed.

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Well it was short lived. The window closed.

 

Same. Feeling miserable tonight.  :'(

[[Bl...]]

The days go by and I see progress in my physical symptoms, but my mental symptoms have gotten worse.  I hate being alone as it feels like hell and brings on anxiety really bad.  I hope we all continue to heal.  My appetite is slowly coming back, but sleep is something I have a lot of difficulty with. 

 

One thing I have learned about the CT route is you never know what new symptom will pop up and how severe it might be.  I wish there was a chat room where we could all go.

[[...]]

The days go by and I see progress in my physical symptoms, but my mental symptoms have gotten worse.  I hate being alone as it feels like hell and brings on anxiety really bad.  I hope we all continue to heal.  My appetite is slowly coming back, but sleep is something I have a lot of difficulty with. 

 

One thing I have learned about the CT route is you never know what new symptom will pop up and how severe it might be.  I wish there was a chat room where we could all go.

 

Hey, how are you feeling now ?

 

Almost no more physical symptoms here ( even if few / new minor symptoms emerge sometimes ).

 

Two months benzo-free !

 

Mental symptoms are getting better in general. Less anxiety. I can start to live again ! Depression can be strong sometimes, but not directly related to WD I think.

 

Have a good day / evening / night

 

 

 

 

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Im sorry to hear that blackwater. Ill be praying for you.

 

Leam thats amazing. Looks like CT worked for you. Im happy your feeling better.

 

I am feeling like crap. Most of my symptoms tonight are blaring in full force and I have nothing to look forward to except another miserable sleepless night. I am so close to reinstating just to see if it will bring me any relief. I felt like crap for so long I dont even know what it feels like to be normal anymore.

[[Bl...]]

CT day 54 had a nice window this afternoon after I took a dose of Apigenin for the first time.  I’m not dispensing medical advice or saying it’s the reason.  I’m still suffering a lot from intrusive thoughts, terrible insomnia, panic attacks, benzo belly, and varoius other mental and physical.  I get windows so I can go to the grocery store for short trips.  I tried a 2 hour shopping trip and started sweating then the panic attack started building.  My throat started closing and I wanted home pronto.  The worst by far is the intrusive thoughts as they are like glued to my brain.

 

Leam I’m so happy to hear your doing good.  I do believe we all heal.  I never want to reinstate as I fear seizures and overdosing.  Xray hang in there as you will heal just believe even in your darkest hour.  I just take this journey one minute at a time and pray I will heal more and more.  Hugs my friends please keep posting.

[[gr...]]

Hi - feels good to come here and read your shares. 3 months for me and I have never felt so horrid in my life, but there are moments when I am as clear in the mind as I was before the pills. I hold on to this and know I will get better. 

[[...]]

Hi - feels good to come here and read your shares. 3 months for me and I have never felt so horrid in my life, but there are moments when I am as clear in the mind as I was before the pills. I hold on to this and know I will get better. 

 

Stay strong !

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Hello everybody. Hope you are doing ok/fine today.

 

Almost 3 months benzo free.

 

I was feeling much better, but having very hard time recently. Feeling very stressed out.

 

A lot of emotions to manage. I am a bit scared.

 

Have a good evening / night.

[Guest [Su...]]

I’m so glad I found this page! I’m 8 weeks tomorrow. Feel like it’s just a long slow burn now and am getting really impatient.

I had a good window on Saturday, Sunday was a nightmare, yesterday just forced self to stay busy cleaning and a window last night.

Today? On couch overthinking.

I have read many times that a “few” months is what it takes to move forward. I’m just holding onto that and am praying the New Year will be just that: NEW! And wonderful!!

[[...]]

I’m so glad I found this page! I’m 8 weeks tomorrow. Feel like it’s just a long slow burn now and am getting really impatient.

I had a good window on Saturday, Sunday was a nightmare, yesterday just forced self to stay busy cleaning and a window last night.

Today? On couch overthinking.

I have read many times that a “few” months is what it takes to move forward. I’m just holding onto that and am praying the New Year will be just that: NEW! And wonderful!!

 

Yeah, it takes time. But it will get better !

 

We are all different. We took different substances / dosages. For different reasons too.

 

Some of us will not even feel withdrawals. Other strong withdrawals for months. Years. But the brain is amazing, and even if it's hard, trying to make changes in my lifestyle seems to help a lot with withdrawals.

 

I'm starting to feel a bit proud. And almost managing  to cry again after years without tears. A lot of emotions. But it's nice too. Social life was a disaster. But almost back to normal now !

 

Still a long way.