Protracted, need hope and support

[[Th...]]

It hard write when it is the same thing happening. Nothing new, but we still have a lot to get through in a day. I often repeat my worries and complaints. But I think that is good for the soul.

 

No person should have to carry this weight. I understand being done with this. I am so done. So done. Keep marching forward with me. It is a bit less lonely when we are all together.

[[Ha...]]

It certainly is less lonely. I don’t know what I would have done without my Buddies.

 

I wish we could have a massive party when we’re all recovered!

 

Hardy

[[No...]]

It hard write when it is the same thing happening. Nothing new, but we still have a lot to get through in a day. I often repeat my worries and complaints. But I think that is good for the soul.

 

No person should have to carry this weight. I understand being done with this. I am so done. So done. Keep marching forward with me. It is a bit less lonely when we are all together.

Then why we all carry this. I don’t know. Just wanted to write

Here something. I am so tired and done with all this.

[[No...]]

No, you don’t deserve this suffering Important and it’s the hardest thing to bear.

Please hang on. Each day that passes is one less to endure.

 

Our lives are important even in this reduced state we find ourselves. I am hoping that after this brutal journey is over I will live with compass and gratitude…….and maybe even joy.

 

Please keep writing and describing how you are feeling. Sometimes it helps a tiny bit to let it all out.

Hardy

Thank you, but I don’t know

What to say really. This

Level of everything, I’m just fed up with

It.

[[No...]]

It certainly is less lonely. I don’t know what I would have done without my Buddies.

 

I wish we could have a massive party when we’re all recovered!

 

Hardy

Well on this forum, atleast

We have sense of somebody can understand or something. I don’t know

[[No...]]

Are you two still early in the process or?

[[Ha...]]

Hi Important, I’m nearly 6 months off and very up and down. Some good days but a lot of grim days. If I overdo it even slightly I’m in bed for a few days…..a bit like chronic fatigue. I’m hoping my energy levels improve with time. That is the main thing that stops me doing stuff…….the fatigue……and the fear of doing too much.

I’m looking into medical cannabis which I can get legally in the UK now.

How are you?

Hardy.

[[Th...]]

I am 8 months after a setback. They gave me remeron.

I have been on over 15 pills and a few benzos. I still have three medications.

 

My symptoms seem pretty constant. Somedays one symptom might be better. I do have times I question if it gets worse. I have noticed a snail improvement. though there was monthsI couldn't see any at all.  I can't leave the house because social interaction, but now I can be in the same room as my family. Having a conversation is still hard. I can put together food and tidy my room. Painful eating has went down, fatigue went down, fear of sunsets is almost gone I hope. Fear of my room and house seems to be gone. I started off bed bound.

How are you doing? Hanging in there?

[[No...]]

You two seem still early in the process, well atleast when I look at myself, I can’t say much, just try to keep going. I am tired of this all I have lost will to write anything also lately. I seem to can’t express myself good when trying to say how I’m feeling. I am taking this antidepressant, these thoughts are killing me, everything triggers them. Hell on earth. Hang in there.

[[Th...]]

thanks important.

 

It is still good to hear from you. I haven't had much to post about on this end either. Broke down again, thinking I want to stop and then kept going. So tired of being in pain or scared.

It's been tough lately. Lost the ability to speak. Didn't think I had to look out for that one.

I guess I'm two years in since this started.

 

I wish I could chase those thoughts off for you. I know it can wreak havoc on your mind.

 

I think someone said "We are all in the gutter but looking up at the stars."

Looks cloudy tonight. Every once in a while I get a glimpse of maybe something.

 

I'm sorry you cant put your feels into words. To be fair how can one explain hell? Nothing seems adequate enough.

 

I'm glad you are keeping on.

[[No...]]

thanks important.

 

It is still good to hear from you. I haven't had much to post about on this end either. Broke down again, thinking I want to stop and then kept going. So tired of being in pain or scared.

It's been tough lately. Lost the ability to speak. Didn't think I had to look out for that one.

I guess I'm two years in since this started.

 

I wish I could chase those thoughts off for you. I know it can wreak havoc on your mind.

 

I think someone said "We are all in the gutter but looking up at the stars."

Looks cloudy tonight. Every once in a while I get a glimpse of maybe something.

 

I'm sorry you cant put your feels into words. To be fair how can one explain hell? Nothing seems adequate enough.

 

I'm glad you are keeping on.

I know. How did you lose know ability to talk? Although I’m not really suprised. They are pure torture. These thoughts. I seem to can’t put anything into words anymore. Keep going.

[[No...]]

This is so boring.

[[Ha...]]

Oh my oh my Important. That last post made me laugh out loud!

 

 

 

[[Th...]]

Silent acid reflux the meds caused. If it gets really bad it can wreak havoc on your vocal cords. I didn't know I had it until I couldn't speak.

 

Weird how this can take so much energy and we can still call it boring.

Is it because it's the same old, same old?

[[No...]]

Oh my oh my Important. That last post made me laugh out loud!

  It is funny, but its like that. Boring.

[[No...]]

Silent acid reflux the meds caused. If it gets really bad it can wreak havoc on your vocal cords. I didn't know I had it until I couldn't speak.

 

Weird how this can take so much energy and we can still call it boring.

Is it because it's the same old, same old?

I am not suprised, really. Its always same, repeating, does it ever end. I don’t care.

[[No...]]

Do cigaretes affect gaba and recovery.

[[No...]]

Everything like its always, I am too tired of this all.

[[Ha...]]

I’m very tired too, very tired indeed. No option but to live through it though.

Hoping tomorrow will be better. I hope this every day and sometimes it’s true. Sometimes not. Hoping that the graph will show it really is getting better.

Hardy.

[[No...]]

I’m very tired too, very tired indeed. No option but to live through it though.

Hoping tomorrow will be better. I hope this every day and sometimes it’s true. Sometimes not. Hoping that the graph will show it really is getting better.

Hardy.

Does it really end?

[[Ha...]]

The last 2 weeks have been pretty ok. Not great but ok. I thought, yeah, I can live like this. Then needed antibiotics for sinus infection and I think they have upset my stomach or whatever but yesterday and today feeling grim. Very agitated and depressed at the same time. This has happened before so I know it won’t last long but rubbish while it lasts.

Hardy.

[[No...]]

Well, fact that this doesn’t change much and things are boring and reapating, I hate these thoughts. They are boring as hell, like any other thing in this, everything is a symptom. I am tired, I absolutely hate this all, this whole thing. This is not me. I haven’t been myself in decade.

[[Th...]]

I understand. I am so tired of being tired of all this. I want something to make me feel human. It’s been the same. The days are all a blur. I try not to wish for much. I can’t say I want new symptoms so things wouldn’t be so repetitive, but I would like them to go away some.  I’m sorry you are dealing with this. I had a moment where I thought things would be better, that was a nice moment. It passed quickly. Maybe it will come back,

[[No...]]

I understand. I am so tired of being tired of all this. I want something to make me feel human. It’s been the same. The days are all a blur. I try not to wish for much. I can’t say I want new symptoms so things wouldn’t be so repetitive, but I would like them to go away some.  I’m sorry you are dealing with this. I had a moment where I thought things would be better, that was a nice moment. It passed quickly. Maybe it will come back,

Can you do anything? It is good that you have hope.

[[No...]]

Nothing new, just worse.