The Long Hold Support Group

[[Gi...]]

 

 

Hi Stut,

 

Thank you so much!

I had a wonderful Birthday celebration. Nice company and lovely weather. 😎

 

It's going to be strange, not having to weigh and shave off tablets this time next months. But after a few months to recover from all this, there's still Paxil to get rid of. For now, I 'm really happy the last stage of the Diazepam taper is going so well!

 

Try taking it easy now you're back at work, Stut!  Easy does it. It's simular to tapering; don't overdo it.

 

Stay safe! X X 

 

Trochsetter,

 

It was strange to not have to measure doses twice a day and keep track of times, when I first jumped.  It took a month or so to not think about when my next dose was due, or to panic when I realized I'd missed it.  This last weekend I was out of town for the first time.  As I was packing I realized I did not need to make sure I had all my benzo paraphernalia, the pills, vodka, bottles, and syringes.  I felt so free.

 

It just gets better.  Ginger

[[Tr...]]

 

 

Hi Ginger

 

Glad you're getting better. Must have been a great feeling, not having to drag all of this things along!

 

Hope to join the club of ex-benzo folks soon!

 

Enjoy your weekend!

 

Trochsetter

 

 

[[...]]

Hi everyone. I've been taking care of my Mom (terminal cancer) and it's probably the hardest thing I've done in my life. I jumped at .1 and in retrospect probably not a good idea. Mentally I feel all right. A little depression but it's hard to know if it's WD or just the emotional roller coaster I've been on. One thing I've had quite a bit is gut pain. I've had it all my life and the docs can't figure out what's wrong with me. Best guess IBS. Then again, it could be all the stress I've been under. I haven't been able to catch up on all your posts but I hope you guys are doing all right.

[[Gi...]]

Hi everyone. I've been taking care of my Mom (terminal cancer) and it's probably the hardest thing I've done in my life. I jumped at .1 and in retrospect probably not a good idea. Mentally I feel all right. A little depression but it's hard to know if it's WD or just the emotional roller coaster I've been on. One thing I've had quite a bit is gut pain. I've had it all my life and the docs can't figure out what's wrong with me. Best guess IBS. Then again, it could be all the stress I've been under. I haven't been able to catch up on all your posts but I hope you guys are doing all right.

 

Jwl,

Congratulations on finishing your taper.  I'm very sorry about your mom.  It's such a hard thing.

 

I had benzo belly that started two days after I jumped.  It lasted four months then began to ease off.  It has returned the last few days.  The stress of a family member with Covid who is vented and it is not looking good we are told.  And an old friend, I just learned, has stage 4 cancer.  So don't discount stress as the source of your digestive issues.  I have seen what it can do in my own life.

 

Still, it is a great victory that you are done with Valium, so be proud of yourself.  It's so nice to see you posting here.  Ginger

 

[[Tr...]]

Hi Jwl,

 

Couldn't agree more with Ginger!

 

Stress and anxiety play havoc on our digestive system. I 've been troubled by IBS since childhood. I once heard someone say: " One hour of stress is worse than a kilo of salt".

I too was caregiver for my dying mom, so I feel what you're going through!  Don't forget to look after yourself as well.

 

Congratulations on getting off of Diazepam! Great achievement!

 

Stay strong.

 

Trochsetter

[[...]]

Thanks Ginger and Troch. Good to know. I'm sure it's a combination of all those factors

[[Su...]]

I am holding after very small cuts.  I do get better with holding to a point, but then tolerance hits again. I am dry cutting less than .001 at a time, holding for several weeks, then cutting again. I do believe holds help me stabilize a bit, but I am going so slowly as it is. And each cut is getting harder. Am I going too slowly? My psychological symptoms are manageable, but the physical symptoms are completely disabling.

 

I really want off, and try to keep pushing through. I am housebound as I have a chronic underlying illness and pain making the wd tougher. My son is chronically ill and bedbound half the day so I have to be somewhat functional. But I function at a bare minimum. I can’t drive, get to appointments, walk, stand for more than few minutes, or use my arms for long  etc.

 

I am happy to see this group, and see many of you close to the end of your tapers and others progressing. I know this is a marathon.

 

Jwl, sorry about your mom. I lost my mom to terminal cancer in late 2019. I know how hard that can be. She is fortunate to have you, congrats on getting off.

 

Healing wishes to all.

Sun

 

 

[[Su...]]

Thanks for all the kind words! I have missed everyone here but since I am not tapering and just holding for years, dropped off for a while.

 

I know my long hold was what I needed to deal with my son's illness, and my mom's near death experience and ending up in a nursing home, which has been very difficult during COVID. We all have different paths, and I know I chose the right one for me.

NJ,

 

So glad to read your son is improving and heading to college! It must be such a relief for you and for him.  I know we communicated a while back, and so appreciated your wisdom and strength. My son is chronically ill as well. He is still Homebound/bedbound  and trying to find the right treatments. Like you I was holding so long, not tapering, trying to help him. My older son is also having some health issues, but fortunately is functional.  We don’t have any family support (my mom passed away in 2019 and my dad has same disabling condition my son and I have).  Due to severe tolerance that updosing wasn’t resolving, I had to resume taper . I am going extremely slowly to try to provide some support to my sons, but it’s very challenging.

 

I hope your son continues to do well and wishing him well with college! How exciting for him/you.

 

Sun

 

 

[[Tr...]]

 

 

Hi everyone,

 

Hope you all have a better day!

 

Today I 'm down to 0,5 mgs Diazepam!  Hope to be off D. this time next month!

 

So, there's hope for all of us! We will make it!

 

Stay strong!

 

Trochsetter

[[Su...]]

 

 

Hi everyone,

 

Hope you all have a better day!

 

Today I 'm down to 0,5 mgs Diazepam!  Hope to be off D. this time next month!

 

So, there's hope for all of us! We will make it!

 

Stay strong!

 

Trochsetter

 

Congratulations on your taper, staying strong, and sharing words of hope. Wishing you well as you near the finish line, as well as continued healing!

[[in...]]

Hi JWL,

 

I’m so sorry to hear about your mother!  I know this is a difficult time and it is probably contributing to your stomach issues.

 

Glad you are finally off the Valium!  I have always appreciated following your progress.  I am down to 0.91mgs Valium per day and having some good windows at  times.    I seem to need to slow my reductions to 0.01 every 3 days just like you had to do so I hope to be free in about 10 months.

 

Stay well and keep us posted!

 

Investartist

[[Tr...]]

 

Hello sunflower,

 

Thank you for you kind words. I hope you're doing OK.

 

Coming this far down, took a lot of blood, sweat and tears. And a lot of other suffering. As all of us on here know only too well!

 

The final part of my taper went surprisingly well. The hardest period was around 3 mgs. I had to hold for 6 months. At that time, being in this BB group - LHSG - gave me a lot of support. And still does.

Now it's down to the last crumbs. Some folks mentioned it being difficult to dry taper this low ( weighing and filing), but I have to say, for me it's still really easy.

I plan to walk off at 0,15 mgs.

 

Stay strong everyone! The light at the end of this proverbeal tunnel is getting brighter with each and  every day!

 

Trochsetter

 

[[se...]]

This is so awesome!  I also plan to dry taper to crumbs..

[[Au...]]

 

 

Hello sunflower,

 

Thank you for you kind words. I hope you're doing OK.

 

Coming this far down, took a lot of blood, sweat and tears. And a lot of other suffering. As all of us on here know only too well!

 

The final part of my taper went surprisingly well. The hardest period was around 3 mgs. I had to hold for 6 months. At that time, bring in this BB group - LHSG - gave me a lot of support. And still does.

Now it's down to the last crumbs. Some folks mentioned it being difficult to dry taper this low ( weighing and filing), but I have to say, for me it's still really easy.

I plan to walk off at 0,15 mgs.

 

Stay strong everyone! The light at the end of this proverbeal tunnel is getting brighter with each and  every day!

 

Trochsetter

 

Well done! Looks like a long journey! A true inspiration to people like me struggling.

May I ask about your long hold? Did you gradually see improvements with time. I’ve been holding for 10 weeks and feel like I’m getting worse. I know everyone is different but I was just curious.

 

I hope your taper continues to be easier as you reduce.

 

[[...]]

Nice to see you've slowed down your taper. When I was at 2mg I got hit hard and held for 2 years

 

[[Tr...]]

Hello aussiegal,

 

It took forever to start feeling a little better. But slowly it did. I really wanted to get off this shit, but had to teach myself that feeling wasn't really helping me in the process. Letting go of negative thoughts was very helpful as well.

Then, after about 5 months, I felt my body was ready for another small taper. Still not easy at all, but more doable.

 

One of the members on here held at 0.5 mg for more than a year and a half!

 

Hope your taper may go as smoothly  as possible.

 

Trochsetter

[[Au...]]

Thanks for your reply.

I’d be happy to hold if I didn’t continue to feel worse. Would be so nice to taper and be functional. So different for everyone.

I plan to start dry microtaper 0.001 every 7-10 days to start with. I’ve given up on timeline, just want to get off safely.

 

Not long now until you’re free, that feeling must be liberating!

[[Tr...]]

 

 

Hi aussiegal,

 

It is! But at the same time it's a little scary. How will I feel after that? Are there going to be serious setbacks?  Will the symptoms go away? Or have parts of my brain been damaged too much? I try not to think of that, but you know how the benzo brain works...Only time will tell.

Still learning to let go the urge to control things. Don't look back,  don't try to predict the future,  just live in the now!

 

Your new taper pace seems really doable.

I don't reduce Diazepam weight, but tablet weight. I feel it makes things so much easier.

 

Enjoy your weekend!

 

Trochsetter

[[tr...]]

Its quiet on this thread lately...how is everyone?

 

I'm feeling a hormonal shift today. Just laying low and riding it out. 

[[Ho...]]

hello fellow long holders, still holding at 2.42V its painfully slow.. anyone know what can help with derealization ?

[[Me...]]

Nice to see you've slowed down your taper. When I was at 2mg I got hit hard and held for 2 years

 

OMG JWL - you walked off.  Congratulations! 

[[Me...]]

Hi LHSG-ers

checking in.  Doing a lot of work since my sister's death on May 8.  Emotions have come up about that with family - some of it benzo w/d related but some is old childhood issues and my unmet needs.  That's a whole can of worms. 

 

I have an overstimulation hangover today.  Yesterday my niece got married.  It was outside at my brothers house.  about 17 people.  I am fully vaccinated and several other people who attended are as well.  But my issue is that between isolated with the pandemic the last 1.5 years and then benzo w/d, I have a total ovestimulation hangover.  noise, people, emotions, w/d sxs, OMG.  But it is gorgeous here in LA and I took a nice walk and sat on a lounge chair and sat in the sun for some vitamin D. I woke up after two hours sleep last night and brain was out of control and noise in my head and I didnt think I was going to be able to go back to sleep.  I had feeling I was going crazy. But I know it was too much stimulation.  I did go back to sleep but woke up feeling like I had a hangover after a night of partying.  But I know it was over stimulaion. 

 

Anyways, holding at 4.22  don't know how much longer.  I was thinking of doing a 0.001 per day micro cut June 1st for a week or so.  The benzo lag will hit a couple weeks after and then I will hold. micro-tapering and holds work well for me. I am doing dry cut and I wonder if I am actually at 4mg since pills have fillers.  those little .22 cuts are so small. 

 

have any of you suffered from over stimulation effects?  what have you done to help that?  Just relax and let the body recover?

 

love you all and hope everyone is well.  To be honest, I am too lazy to go back a few pages and catch up.  apologies. I don't mean to hijack. 

 

Love, Meems 

 

 

[[Be...]]

Its quiet on this thread lately...how is everyone?

 

I'm feeling a hormonal shift today. Just laying low and riding it out. 

 

Hey Trina,

 

Sorry you are suffering.  I hope it passes soon. Hormones added into this mess is ghastly right.

I had a better time in March - I felt wayyyyy better. I was still not 100% but I felt a lot better.  Then I had stessful stuff happen & slam big massive wave. That was about a month ago.  Stress sucks in BWD.  I’m coming up to being in this mess for almost 18 months. I was In tolerance wd for a month before I jumped so it’s nearly 16 months since I jumped,  I’m terrified of going into protracted WD. For 5 months on these ghastly drugs I really really want to be healed & for this nightmare to be over.  A few days ago I thought how I just have to go with it as this might be my new normal.  I’m terrified I will never heal.  This morning I woke up with massive anxiety again. God I just want to feel like myself again.  It’s all too much, this hope & then the constant disappointment when a wave comes again.  The good thing is I am in a pattern & nighttime’s are generally easier which is good.  My period is looming so I’m hoping once it comes I get done relief,  Fingers crossed. Keeping everything crossed.  I hope you are feeling a bit better & your day is going ok

[[Di...]]

Hi Memes, glad you got to go to the wedding and enjoy a nice walk.

Yes I believe that I am suffering from overstimulation there has been alot going on this past week.  I try to get by myself and chill.  I have been doing a .001mg DLMT this past week along with everything else.

Hope you feel better soon.

[[Me...]]

Hi Memes, glad you got to go to the wedding and enjoy a nice walk.

Yes I believe that I am suffering from overstimulation there has been alot going on this past week.  I try to get by myself and chill.  I have been doing a .001mg DLMT this past week along with everything else.

Hope you feel better soon.

 

Thank you~

 

Sorry, to hear you too have a lot going on but you are trudging along.  Ya, I feel like that is what my body is calling me to do.  Quiet, relax and chill. Even with TV, social media or music in my ear buds. I know part of what we do, or I do, is exposure therapy, distraction and getting out of the house but times like today spending time on or in the bed taking a nap with a nice meditation on YouTube sounds so appealing. benzo w/d has messed up good healthy naps because of the GABA but just closing my eyes helps.  maybe a nice light weight movie tonight.  I mean, we all know our bodies can handle A LOT and I mean A LOT but we have to listen when it tells us what it needs.   

 

- M