The Long Hold Support Group

[[Ma...]]

Hi LHSG-ers,

 

Hope you're all doing better today.

 

Just here to tell you I'm down to 1,2 mgs of Valium tonight. Never thought I'd make it this low...But have to add it's getting harder to do atm. Lots of muscle pain. And really sore soles of both feet. Probably a short hold would be in order. But want to get off this stuff asap. The dilemma we all know too well...

 

Wishing you all ( old and new BB- folks) a pleasant day!

 

Trochsetter

 

Great job Trochsetter.  You'll get there.  So many times I never thought I would make it, but I did and so will you.  Ginger

 

How are you doing GM? 

[[Gi...]]

Hi Mary,

I'm having lots of digestive issues and some anxiety.  I slept 8 hours last night, first time since I can remember.  Having a window here and there, maybe twice a week.  Sometimes just an hour or two, sometimes all day.

 

I'm scheduled for an EGD and colonoscopy next week. 

Congratulations on being down to 5.9. I hope you're doing well.  It's been so quiet on BB.  Ginger

[[Ol...]]

Hi LHSG-ers,

 

Hope you're all doing better today.

 

Just here to tell you I'm down to 1,2 mgs of Valium tonight. Never thought I'd make it this low...But have to add it's getting harder to do atm. Lots of muscle pain. And really sore soles of both feet. Probably a short hold would be in order. But want to get off this stuff asap. The dilemma we all know too well...

 

Wishing you all ( old and new BB- folks) a pleasant day!

 

Trochsetter

 

Yaaay Troch!!! You are so close!

[[Ma...]]

Hi Mary,

I'm having lots of digestive issues and some anxiety.  I slept 8 hours last night, first time since I can remember.  Having a window here and there, maybe twice a week.  Sometimes just an hour or two, sometimes all day.

 

I'm scheduled for an EGD and colonoscopy next week. 

Congratulations on being down to 5.9. I hope you're doing well.  It's been so quiet on BB.  Ginger

 

I had all those symptoms when I was in tolerance.  Of course I didn't know what tolerance was 

Had 5 tests , colonoscopy, endoscopy, the one that times how fast the food goes through you and 2 more, all came back clear.  So I am hoping yours to do!    You hang in there GM.  You have done the hard part and I am so happy for you!!  Please keep me posted on your tests and how you are feeling.

LY  :smitten:

[Guest [fl...]]

Wow, Trying2BHopeful, I wouldn't have guessed that you suffered so much at 5.5 months from your signature. I feel like I should be more grateful. My anxiety is this nagging presence, and my depression is a fog that threatens to end me. Other than broken sleep, some minor skin burning and occasional tinnitus, these are my only symptoms. Somehow, though, they are still overwhelming. I do get a nightly window that keeps me going. I rarely get other windows.

 

I guess we all heal differently, and there is no point comparing. I've seen people on huge doses who heal in 6 month CT, and people on tiny doses who suffer endlessly. There is no rhyme or reason - it's horrid.

 

But, we all heal hopefully...

[[Ho...]]

hello fellow long holders. i hope you are all well. i havent been on the forums except lurking from time to time when im not okay. im holding again at 2.42 after being able to reduce a bit in 2020. this is a lot harder now because of my 2 failed tapers that kindled me. i just hope it will get easier at some point. sending healing thoughts and vibes to you all

[[Tr...]]

Fluffer, we all experience withdrawal from the perspectives of our symptoms and they are bad for everyone. Even having just 1 symptom is hard enough so don’t underrate your pain. It will help however to realise there are different intensities, I learnt this because when I stopped the meds the 1st time, I thought what I went through was the worst experience only to be put back on meds and CT again and then that experience was so much more severe. And I didn’t even get Akathisia so there is another level to this I thankfully didn’t experience. I found that once the fog, fear and anxiety lifted, I could objectively look at my remaining symptoms. It will lift for you too shortly and you will feel so much better.... I told my husband about you last night, that to me you have been trying to break the code for withdrawal and he said it’s interesting I say this because I also did the same in the early stages with all the supplements I was trying etc... It’s because it’s hard to accept there is no cure having trusted medicine. But look at me now... I eventually gave up and realised nothing was working, all I had left was the words of encouragement from all those that healed and they all said time is what will heal me. I know it sucks but time will heal us and I may be in withdrawal still but I am no longer suffering. The suffering does end, I assure you. I feel stable now. And my signature is full of positivity. No point scaring everyone...

 

[Guest [fl...]]

Thank you for the kind words Trying2BHopeful. I have stopped most supplements other than those that I need (a little multi etc). I am trying to accept. Every day I want to give up, but somehow I don't! I pray for relief soon. Thank you for your support. I get my period in 2 days, so that certainly isn't helping! I am on edge, too overstimulated to do anything, and definitely have the existential depression.

 

I did learn some interesting things about hormones - not that I can really do much about them as I have found out. Progesterone itself is a GABA receptor antagonist! Once it is converted to allopregnanolone, obviously it's great. But, it can be converted to other things too, which can also be antagonists, and who knows how that is decided. So, sometimes progesterone can cause problems when the enzyme system is out of whack. Sigh. The only good news - all that shitty antagonism will hopefully cause an upregulation in GABA receptors at the end. And I could sure use some of those.

[[se...]]

Hopesurvives,

 

I am lurking as well as reading posts has really affected me mentally.  I just want to say you are doing great and don't get discouraged. I held for long periods the first year as my body needed it.  You will get there for sure.

[[Tr...]]

Hello my old friend's! I miss this group so much! Just wanted to peek in 👀 to see how you are all doing. I hope everyone is hanging tough whether holding or actively tapering. Remember only slow and steady beats this race with the benzo devil.

 

Hey Troch good on you for how far you've come. I can relate to the sore soles I have that too but it usually only bothers me first thing in the morning after I've been off my feet for the night ,don't know what it is or why it happens 🤷

 

Well my people it's Friday night and the weekend is on the horizon and I couldn't be happier. It's been a very long week babysitting my 8 month old grandson. I've been bummed lately and I could use a break. It's been a very long year since Covid happened a very long exhausting year. So if you haven't tapered as much as you thought you might please don't be hard on yourselves. It's really amazing if you've tapered anything at all during the pandemic. I'm sure a lot of people held either a really long time or decided not to taper at all while the shit was hitting the fan and good on those people too! This is damn hard to do even under the best of circumstances. So hang in people we'll all make it out someday I'm sure of it. 💪🙏❤️

 

Love to all!

Trishy❤️

[[Di...]]

Just checking in been doing a lot of reading on here searching for answers..  I don't feel like my taper is going very well I'm leaning on the fact that I tapered too fast in the beginning...anyone have any thoughts on this theory?  I could use any kind of help.  I decided to hold at .573 mg/day three weeks ago to see I would feel better.  Mostly lots of anxiety, no energy, headache, lost lots of weight just don't feel like eating.  Praying for everyone on here.

[[Tr...]]

Just checking in been doing a lot of reading on here searching for answers..  I don't feel like my taper is going very well I'm leaning on the fact that I tapered too fast in the beginning...anyone have any thoughts on this theory?  I could use any kind of help.  I decided to hold at .573 mg/day three weeks ago to see I would feel better.  Mostly lots of anxiety, no energy, headache, lost lots of weight just don't feel like eating.  Praying for everyone on here.

Hi Diane,

From my own experience when I tapered too fast I always got worse as time went on before I got better. Give it more time I believe this is wd from going too fast. Loss of appetite is common just try to eat something light like toast. I know food is very unappealing right now but try to get something in. Get as much rest as you can and please do not taper another bit until you feel well or stable enough. You just have to ride this out. Hang in there.

Trishy🙏

[[Ma...]]

Trishy, my girlfriend!!  Sorry haven't PM'd ,felt pretty bad and in pain.  Having second shot Sunday,will definitely pm you then and let you know how it goes.  Love ya , I know you could use a break.  Does your daughter have any vacation time to give you a break?    :smitten:

[[Gi...]]

Hello Diane, 

Three weeks is really nothing close to a long hold.  For me it was at least 6 to 8 months before I felt stable.  It varies so much with each individual.

 

Like Trishy, I often got worse before I got better.  Hang on.  It is much better to stay in one place than to jump around with doses hoping a little updose, or rescue dose will help.  In my experience it never did, just prolonged the time to get stable.  Keep at, low and slow and you will succeed. Ginger

[[Di...]]

Thank you Trishy and Ginger for taking your time to encourage me I really appreciate you both.  I will take ya'lls advice.  Thank you so much.❤

[[4G...]]

Dianedeedee, I really hope you start to feel better soon. The benzos are such insidious, hateful things.

 

Hello Trochsetter! I don't think we've met. You are doing so well! That's really encouraging.

 

Gingermint, I hope your digestive issues are diagnosed as soon as possible and then you are given the correct medication, ideally to give you little or no trouble.

 

Hopesurvives and seasalt, I wish you the very best with your tapers. One step at a time.

 

Olivekitty, hello! Thank you for your support and understanding. I have a Covid jab booked for Sunday but I know already that I won't be able to go. My agoraphobia is too bad. So I just think that maybe when I feel better, maybe months from now, I will be able to get it then. I am cutting at the moment, currently on 3.48 V. I am also dealing with much seemingly menopausal shit, including depression. As I never go out, it is unlikely that I will get Covid anyway. It is something I just have to leave for now.

I hope you are okay. I will come back here to check.

 

My old pals, Mary and Trishy, I'm sorry if I've disappointed you but I'm not well enough to go for the jab. It's just how it is. I'm spending a lot of time in bed and Dave hasn't been working so he's been making meals, etc. Today (Saturday) is always takeaway day, so nobody has to cook then. Trishy, I hope you feel less tired soon. Looking after a baby is not an easy thing, though I know you wouldn't change it. Mary, those bloody muscles! Hope you get a let-up soon. I like your new Sly out in the tulip garden counter! I hope he is well and so is Tim.

 

Shout out to Stut! Hi Stut! How is the wrist?

Shout out to cant! Hello my bonzer pal! Hope you're doing okay...

Hi to Free and to Esperanza!

Hi to Intend from Blighty.

Hope and Hugs to All  xxxxx

[[Ho...]]

Hopesurvives,

 

I am lurking as well as reading posts has really affected me mentally.  I just want to say you are doing great and don't get discouraged. I held for long periods the first year as my body needed it.  You will get there for sure.

 

thank you seasalt and 4Gillyblossom6 for your encouragement. i really need it. i lost a lot of motivation in this tapering business after the 2 failures. i feel like i am one of the unlucky ones. sorry for being negative

[[Ca...]]

Hey all,

 

Do you think holding ( because I have been too fast and it is a nightmare since 5 weeks) will help with my anxiety too ? My anxiety was ok before my last cut now it’s hell...

 

Did holding helped you with anxiety ?

 

Thank you, I feel so trapped :'(

[[Tr...]]

Hi CarlaCarla,

 

So sorry you're feeling so anxious lately. I know what that feels like.

 

Holding is a good thing in most cases. You're in the right group; many (most) of us have been (or still are) holding in order to decrease symptoms.

 

Last May I couldn't handle my anxiety anymore. I was put on Paxil: it saved my life. I know I 'll have to taper this off as well once I'm off the benzo. But that's okay.

 

I 'm sure  others will chip in too.

 

Stay strong! You'll get through this!

 

Trochsetter

[[Ma...]]

Dianedeedee, I really hope you start to feel better soon. The benzos are such insidious, hateful things.

 

Hello Trochsetter! I don't think we've met. You are doing so well! That's really encouraging.

 

Gingermint, I hope your digestive issues are diagnosed as soon as possible and then you are given the correct medication, ideally to give you little or no trouble.

 

Hopesurvives and seasalt, I wish you the very best with your tapers. One step at a time.

 

Olivekitty, hello! Thank you for your support and understanding. I have a Covid jab booked for Sunday but I know already that I won't be able to go. My agoraphobia is too bad. So I just think that maybe when I feel better, maybe months from now, I will be able to get it then. I am cutting at the moment, currently on 3.48 V. I am also dealing with much seemingly menopausal shit, including depression. As I never go out, it is unlikely that I will get Covid anyway. It is something I just have to leave for now.

I hope you are okay. I will come back here to check.

 

My old pals, Mary and Trishy, I'm sorry if I've disappointed you but I'm not well enough to go for the jab. It's just how it is. I'm spending a lot of time in bed and Dave hasn't been working so he's been making meals, etc. Today (Saturday) is always takeaway day, so nobody has to cook then. Trishy, I hope you feel less tired soon. Looking after a baby is not an easy thing, though I know you wouldn't change it. Mary, those bloody muscles! Hope you get a let-up soon. I like your new Sly out in the tulip garden counter! I hope he is well and so is Tim.

 

Shout out to Stut! Hi Stut! How is the wrist?

Shout out to cant! Hello my bonzer pal! Hope you're doing okay...

Hi to Free and to Esperanza!

Hi to Intend from Blighty.

Hope and Hugs to All  xxxxx

 

English, you never disappoint me, my friend.  You have to take care of you.  Just know I love you and Tilly.  I know you are cutting and it ain't easy.  My second shot is tomorrow, wish me luck!  Tim had his second shot yesterday and he has done great.  You take care of yourself, I think about you often.

Glad to see you still playing games and love you are posting.  LY girlfriend 💋💋. 🙋🏼🙋🏼🙋🏼😘😘😘🙏

[[va...]]

Hey all,

 

Do you think holding ( because I have been too fast and it is a nightmare since 5 weeks) will help with my anxiety too ? My anxiety was ok before my last cut now it’s hell...

 

Did holding helped you with anxiety ?

 

Thank you, I feel so trapped :'(

 

Hi Carla. Holding helped my anxiety but it took months, not weeks. I wouldn't do down the other meds path, I'd give a long long hold a chance. It will take time, but eventually most people stabilize if they stick to the same dose for months.

[[Di...]]

Are internal vibrations the same thing as anxiety?

[[4G...]]

What are they like, Diane? In my experience most stuff like that is linked to anxiety xxx

[[Di...]]

4Gilly I feel very nervous and shakey.  I try deep breathing and sometimes it helps.

[[4G...]]

I've been looking it up for you in the 'search' facility. Back in 2013 Becksblue said it was connected to her anxiety. Someone else said anxiety made it worse, tnough it was there anyway. Most people don't really know what it is. Someone said most people who had it were the ones who had been on Xanax. I can't see your sig right now to see if that applies to you. xxx