The Long Hold Support Group

[[no...]]

If God Forbid we had to go to the hospital and our tapered dose is less than the rx on the bottle, how can we be sure we would get the tapered dose?

Magnolis  I know that's another paranoia I have as I've been unable to get into a vehicle for 5 year's due to hypersensitivities with noise, touch, sound, smell vibration its all hell  But regarding the tapering dose, what i did before was get rid of the extra pills by putting them in my hand bag, and another time I told then I was tapering as they had to watch me take the pill and proceeded to bite the pill in half in front of them, I can't remember why they had to watch at the time though. 

 

But I was very ill at the time, and wired up to machinery and a lot of drugs going in IV through a drip with what I NOW know was tolerance withdrawal at my prescribed dose, I do NOT believe you get it in a long hold at a lower dose that's ongoing normal hell withdrawal from cutting too fast or while cutting while too unstable Plus I was drinking a lot to self medicate the symptoms as I had no idea WTH was wrong and got misdiagnosed for year's, but I stopped drinking and smoking immediately 5 year's and 7 mnths  ago  when I read up about Benzos and found out that was ALL the causes of ALL my bad health problem and hell symptoms

 

Now I have my tapered dose on the medical facts list on my phone as the prescribed dose is higher on the box  so i can stash spares away, but I'm also going to get an SOS Bracelet and locket and put the tapered dose on the list just in case. I've had quite a few times when I really felt I needed Hospital admission but it turned out to be withdrawal AGAIN thank God. Mind working  overtime with health anxiety pretty often, yet another wonderful withdrawal symptom 

 

I also keep thinking I got the dreaded virus, when I get 'Benzo induced withdrawal paranoia'  But to be honest I really believe in my 'logical'' mind its being blown out of all proportion to the real truth.  Ebola was evil so why didn't they enforce lock down when that started?  They said thing  same thing about 'avian flu''  no lock down there either??  Flu its self is bloody awful and that's around all year so is the common cold which affects some people very badly as well. 

 

All Flu viruses are ALL Corona viruses, its not suddenly a new viral strain, and this one is only called COVID 19 NOT because its a new killer species but a virus that was first picked up on in 2019 Corona viruses have  been around probably before humans walked the planet but definitely since we did 

 

Also I get 'Benzo Flu'' symptoms a LOT, plus coughing and sneezing fits which are also common withdrawal symptoms I often wonder if I did have it, or possibly have had it  would I know the difference anyway? Especially now certain symptoms have ramped up baldy over the last week and not letting up BUT , yet again Benzo health induced anxiety makes me think I have all sorts when its all withdrawal and nothing more sinister than that  every time a symptom gets worse 

 

 

                                    Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

 

[[Tr...]]

Love the posts Nova, lots of good information. I'm a true believer in a long hold, although I myself can get into that trap or mindset to hurry it up, however my experience is that holds have only helped me. I don't know how people push through in misery I just can not do it. I have suffered agony when going to fast and pray to God I never experience hell like that again. In other words from my experiences of cutting too fast or too much in a short period of time and suffering the way that I have, well it has scared me so much that I will hold when needed even if I really want to push forward. Knowing that I will only benefit from the hold does make it easier though. My only fear with holding or my main fear is losing my Dr to prescribe to me for whatever reason such as him retiring or something. I don't want to Dr shop for this, especially this , bc Drs automatically think" drug addict " which is so far from the truth. Their ignorance about benzo wd causes so many people only wanting to get off this drug slowly and as painless as possible is looked at as one trying to hold onto the drug..pisses me off.

I am though and always will be an advocate for holding, it's worked wonders for me everytime. So I would rather live with the fear of losing my Dr than push through in agonizing bwd.

Trishy ❤️

[[Tr...]]

It's baby time guys! My dil went into labor at 4 this morning! Her water broke and she and my son are currently at the hospital! My grandson baby Nicholas will hopefully be born some time today 🤗💙

I'm so excited to be a grandma (Meme) for the third time. I'll have two grandsons and of course my one granddaughter who currently is holding her princess crown as the only girl lol!!

Peace my people,

Trishy ❤️

[[NJ...]]

Congratulations Trishy. Hope all goes well with the new baby!

[[no...]]

It's baby time guys! My dil went into labor at 4 this morning! Her water broke and she and my son are currently at the hospital! My grandson baby Nicholas will hopefully be born some time today 🤗💙

I'm so excited to be a grandma (Meme) for the third time. I'll have two grandsons and of course my one granddaughter who currently is holding her princess crown as the only girl lol!!

Peace my people,

Trishy ❤️

Go Grandma!!! Congrats Trishy  Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[Bl...]]

Congratulations trishy!! All the best to your family!

[[Gu...]]

Congrats Meme Trishy!

 

I feel like I’m 9 months pregnant too.  It will be a 20 pound Ativan pill.  Or maybe it’s just the benzo belly.  Why isn’t there any relief for this?

 

If I end up in the hospital Magnolis, I will be carefully nibbling pieces off in a hopeful guesstimate. 

 

Peace to all.

[[...]]

Great quotes Nova. The way I see it: slow taper and long holds= manageable symptoms. Fast taper and no holds=severe symptoms ( sometime years after you jump). I don't know why some want to just power through it

[[Ma...]]

author=Mary5588 link=topic=153201.msg3102609#msg3102609 date=1593983920]

Great posts guys , this is just so complicated for each of us.  I get so tired of rarely feeling good and my symptoms changing.  I think of holding a year , but I am still too high at 8 mgs to think I can hold for a year and have an easy time coming off afterward.  So I try to think of Parkers post talking about all the construction going on as we are healing.  With the virus adding to the stress, I just wish us all an easier time and hope like hell we get a break soon.  Love you guys!  🙋🏼🙋🏼🙋🏼.    💜🎈💕💜🎈💕💜

 

Mary  don't worry about sitting at  8mg for possibly a year or so, I'm at 12mg, if holding is what it stakes to be able to taper in less hell than being in it 24/7 for all these year's then its definitely the better of two options than still suffering  24/7 for year's  waiting to get  getting lower before holding that long  or off and suffering longer hell than if we did a year long hold now.

 

Besides it may not take that long if we're lucky we may get a good reprieve even sooner , and people have held longer at even higher doses than us and then tapered off with minimal or no symptoms , we have to remember its NOT the destination, its the journey, what we want is to get there without the suffering. I would rather take a while without suffering than get there quicker and suffer indefinitely.

 

                                                  Nova xxx  :smitten:

 

 

" I tapered too fast and hit the wall. I ended up having to hold for months before I stabilized. I was feeling so crummy I didn't feel like I would ever stabilize, but things eventually settled down.

I know how hopeless you feel right now. The best thing you can do is hold tight, don't mess with your dose and wait until things settle down."

 

"I would say holding is your best bet. You have destabilised you CNS and there is no silver bullet that will take that away at once. After we destabilise our system it usually takes some times for things to very GRADUALLY start to settle. If you noticed even the slightest bit of relief as opposed to complete lifting of symptoms it would mean you are on the right track."

 

"I have so far seen that holding got me out of any hiccup I've had. Very bad symptoms only meant I had to wait longer. But I have faith that they will disappear because I've seen them disappear just as a result of holding."

         

"I am almost 4 years out from my last benzo. In the beginning I tapered too fast and hit the wall. I ended up having to hold for months before I stabilized. I was feeling so crummy I didn't feel like I would ever stabilize, but things eventually settled down.

 

I know how hopeless you feel right now. The best thing you can do is hold tight, don't mess with your dose and wait until things settle down."

 

"I would say holding is your best bet. You have destabilised you CNS and there is no silver bullet that will take that away at once. After we destabilise our system it usually takes some times for things to very GRADUALLY start to settle. If you noticed even the slightest of relief as opposed to complete lifting of symptoms it would mean you are on the right track."

 

"Unfortunately, the classic pattern with benzo withdrawal (with all psych meds, but especially benzos) is pretty roller-coaster-y: better days/worse days/better days etc.

 

It's pretty typical in a situation where one has pushed the tapering a bit too hard and gotten into a bad patch, for it to not resolve as quickly as it has in the past. In fact this is a pretty normal pattern: we taper along and things seem to go okay, and then symptoms start to sort of build up and not resolve quite as fast as usual, and then we sort of "hit the wall." That's when it's time to stop tapering!

 

"Things get less and less wobbly the longer I hold. So that when I cut again, the system I'm re-perturbing is a stable and strong one that's going to be able to handle and adapt to the new perturbations. I think what I see happen to people a lot is, they cut and then they hold for a while, just long enough to allow the worst of it to pass, then they cut again, et cetera, but after a few of those they hit a wall.

 

I'm beginning to think--for me, at least--it's really crucial not to just hold long enough to be able to function, but to hold, at least intermittently, long enough to allow a stable homeostasis to be established, to give the body/mind a chance to attend to some deeper healing."       

 

 

People feel pretty stable after holding for a while, but then make even a tiny cut and get hit with symptoms. This will happen over and over. Yet those same people eventually, after holding for many months or even a year, are able to cut again with much less trouble. I suspect there is a lot of subtle healing that needs time, lots of time, to work its way through. Our nervous systems can reach a homeostatic state that's good enough when there are not a lot of extra stressors, but they're not fully healed and are still more fragile at that point than we realize, and can be easily pushed back over the edge. I think that's part of why we get those windows and those waves. I could be wrong but I think that's a pattern that I'm seeing."

 

You have to be so careful to taper this crap off VERY slowly!  I have also thought that I could not stabilize but that just means your brain type needs way more time to heal.  Just hold until you get stable if it does not happen then your brain is just telling you to go slower. Some people just need extra time.  If you taper faster then your S/X can heal then jumping just means a long recovery is coming and I'd rather spend that time slow tapering."

 

 

I do not care what Ashton says I NEVER cut if I am still feeling bad.  I hold until I reach a new baseline and then cut again.  This is hard since people tend to push for some odd reason.  Personally I think the withdrawal amplifies the sense of urgency so we end up psyching ourselves out and end up going faster and faster.

Jumping does not heal you.  Feeling healed should be the only reason why you jump.  Took me 3 years to figure out this simple fact"

 

Nova, I am tapering again, very slow, .1 every 15 days or so.  I am so sick of looking at that 8  :laugh:  If I can get to 7.99, I will feel successful for awhile.    my Dr doesn't care how long it takes me.  It's a damn good thing.    :D

[[Ma...]]

Awwww, Congratulations girlfriend!!  You are a wonderful grandmother.  Am so happy for you !      Love ya very much Too Many !!    🙋🏼🙋🏼🙋🏼

 

🌷🌺🌷🌺🌷🌺🌷.    👶👶👶👶.    💜💕💘💜💕💘💘

[[Gi...]]

Great quotes Nova. The way I see it: slow taper and long holds= manageable symptoms. Fast taper and no holds=severe symptoms ( sometime years after you jump). I don't know why some want to just power through it

 

I agree, however my doctor will no longer refill.  I have enough pills left for 350 days.  If a 1% dose cut leaves me in a 9 week wave it would take me many more years to get off.  I just don't  have it in me to go that much longer. 

 

Trishy,

Congrats grandma.  Enjoy your new grandson. G

[[Tr...]]

Just a quick post! Baby Nicholas is here! 🎉🎊 My grandson came into the world at 6:38 this evening. We are already in crazy love with him 🤗💙

 

I'm not caught up on the posts but will try to read tomorrow. I hope you're all doing well. I'm just going to enjoy this moment of " all is right with the world" while it lasts 😍😍😍

 

Love to all!

Trishy 💙🍼

[[De...]]

Congratulations tt!!!

[[va...]]

Congratulations Trishy! I'm so happy that there are babies coming and bringing joy to this world. It must feel amazing to have granchildren. I hope I live to experience it too. And you have four! You are really blessed.

[[Gi...]]

Trishy,

Babies bring so much love and hope for the future.  We need this, especially now, during these trying and uncertain times.  I'm very happy for you and your family.  G

[[Lo...]]

I'm also on a holding pattern at the moment..It's better too go slow and feel stable.

[[no...]]

I'm also on a holding pattern at the moment..It's better too go slow and feel stable.

Hi LS  Welcome to the LHSG,  totally agree with your above statement   You've done some pretty long holds over the year's looking at your signature  Then you cut quite  a bit recently, were you stable when you were holding and while you resumed your recent cutting at all? And are you now holding to stablise again?

 

I'm not moving from my dose of 12mg until I get stable this time instead of getting frustrated holding ex amount of time, and cutting while still not stable  still suffering? Its not worth it when patience is whats needed and go by your bodily symptoms  not your Benzo corrupted mind telling you to get off, you got to fight with the mind too as well as listening to your body.

 

And not allow the fear to take you down the  wrong path, that's what I've personally learned anyway, if it takes a year or a bit longer to get stable then so be it, I can't control or even waste anymore time trying to control something I now accept I have no control over at all, well I actually accepted that sometime ago. 

 

But on a really bad day my thoughts go haywire trying to decide what to do or try to make it stop  when the truth is all I can do is wait it out long enough for it to get better instead of wildly searching for something I'm not going to find by cutting too soon, if that worked I obviously  wouldn't still be suffering now.

                                                             

                                                                                                  Nova xxx  :smitten:

[[Tr...]]

Hello everyone!

NJ, Nova, blkhawk, GP, Mary, Ginger, vnm, DD, gosh I hope I didn't leave anyone out but please forgive me if I did bc you know how fried the brain can get in bwd  so thank you all for the congrats and well wishes on my new little grandson.💙 We are over the moon happy! 🤗😍

 

I gotta catch up here and see what everyone's been up too.. Hope you're all fairing well during these horrifying times in the world.

 

Stay safe guys, love you all!

Trishy💙

[[De...]]

So happy for you tt! You must be having a ball with the ball with the baby! They are so sweet! Im jealous! When my biece was a vaby she was so sweet! We all fought over her! Lol

[[De...]]

Het nova and everyone!

It is like a mental disorder this wanting to cut to fast. I swear it makes sense when you do it to soon. Its like being an alcoholic and your mind saying its  ok, you  can drink its ok. Anyway all we can do is except the process and let our bodies heal without torturing ourselves.

[[Bl...]]

Het nova and everyone!

It is like a mental disorder this wanting to cut to fast. I swear it makes sense when you do it to soon. Its like being an alcoholic and your mind saying its  ok, you  can drink its ok. Anyway all we can do is except the process and let our bodies heal without torturing ourselves.

thats exactly it you just want to get it over with asap so you can say your off but its not worth it. my first 2 cuts were big and quick and boy am  i paying for it now. i thought my anxiety before was bad but now work is torture but it is what it is one moment at a time. take care and try to have a good day everyone!

[[De...]]

I've done it too blkhwk. Sorry your having to work through this. Your probably better off. Good distraction.nlets hope we learn our lesson! Ugh

[[Lo...]]

I'm also on a holding pattern at the moment..It's better too go slow and feel stable.

Hi LS  Welcome to the LHSG,  totally agree with your above statement   You've done some pretty long holds over the year's looking at your signature  Then you cut quite  a bit recently, were you stable when you were holding and while you resumed your recent cutting at all? And are you now holding to stablise again?

 

I'm not moving from my dose of 12mg until I get stable this time instead of getting frustrated holding ex amount of time, and cutting while still not stable  still suffering? Its not worth it when patience is whats needed and go by your bodily symptoms  not your Benzo corrupted mind telling you to get off, you got to fight with the mind too as well as listening to your body.

 

And not allow the fear to take you down the  wrong path, that's what I've personally learned anyway, if it takes a year or a bit longer to get stable then so be it, I can't control or even waste anymore time trying to control something I now accept I have no control over at all, well I actually accepted that sometime ago. 

 

But on a really bad day my thoughts go haywire trying to decide what to do or try to make it stop  when the truth is all I can do is wait it out long enough for it to get better instead of wildly searching for something I'm not going to find by cutting too soon, if that worked I obviously  wouldn't still be suffering now.

                                                             

                                                                                                  Nova xxx  :smitten:

Hi, It's only In the last year that I felt I could wean down on these pills and be functional. The last 7 months been my most consistent. I'm at 4MG for the last 4 weeks. I planned on cutting last week, but my sleep went downhill and felt pretty bad In general. When I feel more stable I'll make a small cut..before this bad phase I felt ok, so I kept cutting..I'm gonna take It slow right now. Trying not too up dose..like you said the fear Is what brings us down.

[[Ol...]]

Good to see some new faces and old faces around here! It's great when this group is lively and look at us! We are talking about benzo w/d and not the pandemic!

 

Congrats Trishy!! That is so exciting. You did miss me in your call out but I forgive you.

 

I'm about to head out to the woods for a few days, signing off. Love you guys!

[[De...]]

Have fun ok!