The Long Hold Support Group

[[Gu...]]

Thanks Mary.  I wish I could handle 1 mil a day.  You are so tough.

 

10% Bill?  I wish my mind could figure percentages again

 

My last cut was August 15 to 1.85.  Ordinarily I would have cut by now but just not able.  I keep thinking tomorrow will be better.  Maybe it will.

 

Wishing you all well.

[[Fi...]]

Mary, where do you get the ticker tape image at the bottom of your posts and how do you update them?

 

This is not an emergency question so only when you get to it. 

 

FH

[[Jo...]]

I honestly would not know where to turn if my husband out of supportive reassurance.  This is a tough road, and when we stumble I feel lucky to have an arm to grab on to.

[[Ma...]]

I honestly would not know where to turn if my husband out of supportive reassurance.  This is a tough road, and when we stumble I feel lucky to have an arm to grab on to.

J

Me too Joy, I so respect the people that go through it alone.  They are truly amazing  Mary

[[es...]]

Sending love to all my favorite Benzo sufferers. Gilly, wait for that window to open. It always does. Mary, I am so sorry to see you still struggling with your eyes. I had hoped after last year that the worst was behind you. FI, glad the depression is better, sorry other sxs showed up to make sure you didn’t get a break. They seem to take turns torturing us. Stut, have fun helping your daughter with the new place. Trishy, you sound a little better. Maybe? I would be doing reasonably well, if not for the biggest case of anhedonia ever recorded. We all may have different symptoms, but the Benzo devil makes sure everyone gets their fair share of misery. Love, Espy

[[Ma...]]

Thanks Mary.  I wish I could handle 1 mil a day.  You are so tough.

 

10% Bill?  I wish my mind could figure percentages again

 

My last cut was August 15 to 1.85.  Ordinarily I would have cut by now but just not able.  I keep thinking tomorrow will be better.  Maybe it will.

 

Wishing you all well.

 

You are going to make this GP.  All of us together, lots of crappy days together, I admit, but together    :mybuddy:

[[Ma...]]

Sending love to all my favorite Benzo sufferers. Gilly, wait for that window to open. It always does. Mary, I am so sorry to see you still struggling with your eyes. I had hoped after last year that the worst was behind you. FI, glad the depression is better, sorry other sxs showed up to make sure you didn’t get a break. They seem to take turns torturing us. Stut, have fun helping your daughter with the new place. Trishy, you sound a little better. Maybe? I would be doing reasonably well, if not for the biggest case of anhedonia ever recorded. We all may have different symptoms, but the Benzo devil makes sure everyone gets their fair share of misery. Love, Espy

 

Truer words my fav cousin, Mary 💜💜💜💜

[[Ma...]]

FH (hope I can do this, lol, took me a whole day to figure out the first time 

 

Go to your signature, make sure you have room for ticker, I had to rewrite mine, if you have to change, remember to hit update, but leave it open

 

Go to Google, type in Tickerfactory, click on it, scroll down slowly, you are looking for

Debt Reduction Ticker in purple almost in middle of Page, click in it

Then it's going to give you options on images you want to use......after you have picked those 2 images, it will ask you some questions, fill those out, hit save

 

Con't in next post

[[Fi...]]

FH (hope I can do this, lol, took me a whole day to figure out the first time 

 

Go to your signature, make sure you have room for ticker, I had to rewrite mine, if you have to change, remember to hit update, but leave it open

 

Go to Google, type in Tickerfactory, click on it, scroll down slowly, you are looking for

Debt Reduction Ticker in purple almost in middle of Page, click in it

Then it's going to give you options on images you want to use......after you have picked those 2 images, it will ask you some questions, fill those out, hit save

 

Con't in next post

 

Thank you, I will slowly work my way through the process of choosing one.

[[Fi...]]

Thanks Mary.  I wish I could handle 1 mil a day.  You are so tough.

 

10% Bill?  I wish my mind could figure percentages again

 

My last cut was August 15 to 1.85.  Ordinarily I would have cut by now but just not able.  I keep thinking tomorrow will be better.  Maybe it will.

 

Wishing you all well.

 

You are going to make this GP.  All of us together, lots of crappy days together, I admit, but together    :mybuddy:

 

I agree with Mary.  I have read on  other threads and groups,  like the first Klonipin Klub, of the group supporting each other and everybody getting off.

[[Ma...]]

FH, Ticker con't....

 

After you hit save, the next page will come up, you will probably want large

 

Now look down and you will see bb codes

 

 

Copy what you see above into your signature and hit update.  I hope that's the only one you need, it's all I have to put in now, and I can't remember the first time.  This maybe really easy for you. 

Good luck.... 🍀🍀🍀🍀

copy the bb codes between both urls

 

Crap, I thought I was sending you bb codes but it changed my tracker  :laugh.

 

Let me fix mine  .  :idiot:    No, it didn't just showed you this one I think. Let me check, half blind and benzo brain, not sure I should be giving instructions 

[[Tr...]]

Hi everyone,

What can I say?? This just completely sucks! I'm sitting here on my couch wondering when and if I'll ever be well enough to start tapering again. I don't want to go all negative here but shit this drug has ripped me apart, beat the hell out of me, chewed me up and spit me out  :tickedoff: I'm tired of this drug controlling my life and having its way with me. I'm chained to it and I hate that more than anything.

 

Ok now that my tantrum is over, hope everyone is doing ok here. I'm doing my best but it " ain't" easy.

 

TT.. Yup terrible Trish is living up to her name tonight

[[Fi...]]

Sending love to all my favorite Benzo sufferers. Gilly, wait for that window to open. It always does. Mary, I am so sorry to see you still struggling with your eyes. I had hoped after last year that the worst was behind you. FI, glad the depression is better, sorry other sxs showed up to make sure you didn’t get a break. They seem to take turns torturing us. Stut, have fun helping your daughter with the new place. Trishy, you sound a little better. Maybe? I would be doing reasonably well, if not for the biggest case of anhedonia ever recorded. We all may have different symptoms, but the Benzo devil makes sure everyone gets their fair share of misery. Love, Espy

 

Thank you Espy.  I hope the anhedonia starts to lift for you soon. 

[[Ma...]]

Hi everyone,

What can I say?? This just completely sucks! I'm sitting here on my couch wondering when and if I'll ever be well enough to start tapering again. I don't want to go all negative here but shit this drug has ripped me apart, beat the hell out of me, chewed me up and spit me out  :tickedoff: I'm tired of this drug controlling my life and having its way with me. I'm chained to it and I hate that more than anything.

 

Ok now that my tantrum is over, hope everyone is doing ok here. I'm doing my best but it " ain't" easy.

 

TT.. Yup terrible Trish is living up to her name tonight

 

Oh TT, I don't have energy to throw tantrum .  Can't hardly see and back hurts, I am whinny baby tonight

[[Tr...]]

Hi everyone,

What can I say?? This just completely sucks! I'm sitting here on my couch wondering when and if I'll ever be well enough to start tapering again. I don't want to go all negative here but shit this drug has ripped me apart, beat the hell out of me, chewed me up and spit me out  :tickedoff: I'm tired of this drug controlling my life and having its way with me. I'm chained to it and I hate that more than anything.

 

Ok now that my tantrum is over, hope everyone is doing ok here. I'm doing my best but it " ain't" easy.

 

TT.. Yup terrible Trish is living up to her name tonight

 

Oh TT, I don't have energy to throw tantrum .  Can't hardly see and back hurts, I am whinny baby tonight

That's ok mm you whine and I'll bitch  .. Some days are just like that and today is one of them.

 

I'm so sorry about your eyes , I hope it's not much longer before you see improvement. I'd whine too if I couldn't see and my back hurt..uhg we're like wounded soldiers. But I guess we kinda are? We're certainly fighting a battle

 

Here's a hug for you my friend 

[[Ma...]]

Hi everyone,

What can I say?? This just completely sucks! I'm sitting here on my couch wondering when and if I'll ever be well enough to start tapering again. I don't want to go all negative here but shit this drug has ripped me apart, beat the hell out of me, chewed me up and spit me out  :tickedoff: I'm tired of this drug controlling my life and having its way with me. I'm chained to it and I hate that more than anything.

 

Ok now that my tantrum is over, hope everyone is doing ok here. I'm doing my best but it " ain't" easy.

 

TT.. Yup terrible Trish is living up to her name tonight

 

Oh TT, I don't have energy to throw tantrum .  Can't hardly see and back hurts, I am whinny baby tonight

That's ok mm you whine and I'll bitch  .. Some days are just like that and today is one of them.

 

I'm so sorry about your eyes , I hope it's not much longer before you see improvement. I'd whine too if I couldn't see and my back hurt..uhg we're like wounded soldiers. But I guess we kinda are? We're certainly fighting a battle

 

Here's a hug for you my friend 

 

I needed that  :mybuddy:

[[Gu...]]

Thanks for those instructions, I’ve been trying to figure how to make a ticket taper. Maybe tomorrow, my brain cells burn out at night.

[[Ma...]]

Thanks for those instructions, I’ve been trying to figure how to make a ticket taper. Maybe tomorrow, my brain cells burn out at night.

 

If you get stuck, I will do my best to help

[[Gu...]]

[[AZ...]]

AzBill hi. I remember you had bad symptoms and had to hold and recently you mentioned you were cutting again. Was one of your symptoms depression and anxiety? I feel the terror seems to be gradually leaving me (thank God for that, that's the worst and I understand why some people give up). So the terror is giving me a break most of the time but I still have anxiety and depression. The depression is this very heavy doom that doesn't leave me. But it allows me to work and function. I'm awfully miserable but functional again (and again thank God). I know it's soon to cut, I just know, but I wonder how much similar your symptoms were to mine and if you waited for them to get better before resuming your taper, and how much better. My biggest fear is crashing into acute wd again. Now that I've seen that hole I don't want to go back there ever if I can help it. Psychiatrist appointment tonight. Hope it goes well.

 

Hi V

I started tapering very slowly in early June when I still had fairly strong symptoms.  I was functioning and working but still had bouts of depression and anxiety.  The depression was strong but not crushing.  I had  agoraphobia at times to the extent I could barely go out to eat or go to stores.  My vision was bad, sore eyes.  But I was also getting windows. I am doing a liquid microtaper so I could go really slowly, I figured if I go extremely slow it would be almost like holding.  I was right, so I kept tapering and it’s gone well.

 

If you feel ready, I would recommend starting first a very slow taper, by either shaving pills or a liquid taper.

[[AZ...]]

Thanks Mary.  I wish I could handle 1 mil a day.  You are so tough.

 

10% Bill?  I wish my mind could figure percentages again

 

My last cut was August 15 to 1.85.  Ordinarily I would have cut by now but just not able.  I keep thinking tomorrow will be better.  Maybe it will.

 

Wishing you all well.

 

Hi GP

10% is 1/10.  So 10% of 2.5 is 0.25 mg.  You had reduced 0.25 mg out of 2.5 earlier in the year which is 10%. 

 

For example you might want to only reduce by 5% or 1/20 in a month in the future.  If you are taking 2 mg, 5% reduction would be 2 divided by 20 which is 0.1 mg.  Try limiting your next reduction to 0.1 mg or less in a month.

[[va...]]

AzBill hi. I remember you had bad symptoms and had to hold and recently you mentioned you were cutting again. Was one of your symptoms depression and anxiety? I feel the terror seems to be gradually leaving me (thank God for that, that's the worst and I understand why some people give up). So the terror is giving me a break most of the time but I still have anxiety and depression. The depression is this very heavy doom that doesn't leave me. But it allows me to work and function. I'm awfully miserable but functional again (and again thank God). I know it's soon to cut, I just know, but I wonder how much similar your symptoms were to mine and if you waited for them to get better before resuming your taper, and how much better. My biggest fear is crashing into acute wd again. Now that I've seen that hole I don't want to go back there ever if I can help it. Psychiatrist appointment tonight. Hope it goes well.

 

Hi V

I started tapering very slowly in early June when I still had fairly strong symptoms.  I was functioning and working but still had bouts of depression and anxiety.  The depression was strong but not crushing.  I had  agoraphobia at times to the extent I could barely go out to eat or go to stores.  My vision was bad, sore eyes.  But I was also getting windows. I am doing a liquid microtaper so I could go really slowly, I figured if I go extremely slow it would be almost like holding.  I was right, so I kept tapering and it’s gone well.

 

If you feel ready, I would recommend starting first a very slow taper, by either shaving pills or a liquid taper.

 

Azbill thank you. MMmmmm as I'm severely kindled due to previous times coming off and going back on benzos, I really want to get better before I start cutting again. Yesterday I went to the psych appointment and it went well. I'm going once a month. I have more or less the same symptoms you mention. The depression is crushing but it allows me to be functional. The terror has lifted morphing into constant anxiety and very low stress tolerance. Is this what you have? I'm not cutting because the acute wd episode which lasted about six weeks has me terrified of going there again. But I will watch your progress as a reference. Although maybe it should be easier for you as you're not kindled by previous times one benzos. My psych told me yesterday that this is a very important factor. He doesn't say "kindling" or any other word but he says that going off and on makes it extremely difficult to come off. He says "don't anticipate. We'll start cutting when you feel stronger". I'm happy for now but I'm always scared of him leaving or changing his mind.

 

It's eight thirty a.m. here.  I hope everyone wakes up in a window and the suffering allows us some moments of appreciating the beauty of life and that we're still alive after all.

[[AZ...]]

AzBill hi. I remember you had bad symptoms and had to hold and recently you mentioned you were cutting again. Was one of your symptoms depression and anxiety? I feel the terror seems to be gradually leaving me (thank God for that, that's the worst and I understand why some people give up). So the terror is giving me a break most of the time but I still have anxiety and depression. The depression is this very heavy doom that doesn't leave me. But it allows me to work and function. I'm awfully miserable but functional again (and again thank God). I know it's soon to cut, I just know, but I wonder how much similar your symptoms were to mine and if you waited for them to get better before resuming your taper, and how much better. My biggest fear is crashing into acute wd again. Now that I've seen that hole I don't want to go back there ever if I can help it. Psychiatrist appointment tonight. Hope it goes well.

 

Hi V

I started tapering very slowly in early June when I still had fairly strong symptoms.  I was functioning and working but still had bouts of depression and anxiety.  The depression was strong but not crushing.  I had  agoraphobia at times to the extent I could barely go out to eat or go to stores.  My vision was bad, sore eyes.  But I was also getting windows. I am doing a liquid microtaper so I could go really slowly, I figured if I go extremely slow it would be almost like holding.  I was right, so I kept tapering and it’s gone well.

 

If you feel ready, I would recommend starting first a very slow taper, by either shaving pills or a liquid taper.

 

Azbill thank you. MMmmmm as I'm severely kindled due to previous times coming off and going back on benzos, I really want to get better before I start cutting again. Yesterday I went to the psych appointment and it went well. I'm going once a month. I have more or less the same symptoms you mention. The depression is crushing but it allows me to be functional. The terror has lifted morphing into constant anxiety and very low stress tolerance. Is this what you have? I'm not cutting because the acute wd episode which lasted about six weeks has me terrified of going there again. But I will watch your progress as a reference. Although maybe it should be easier for you as you're not kindled by previous times one benzos. My psych told me yesterday that this is a very important factor. He doesn't say "kindling" or any other word but he says that going off and on makes it extremely difficult to come off. He says "don't anticipate. We'll start cutting when you feel stronger". I'm happy for now but I'm always scared of him leaving or changing his mind.

 

It's eight thirty a.m. here.  I hope everyone wakes up in a window and the suffering allows us some moments of appreciating the beauty of life and that we're still alive after all.

Hi V

It sounds like you’re stabilizing and not doing too bad!  I’m glad, and I agree with you on your plans for cutting again but only when ready.  It sounds like you have a good psych also.  I hope he stays around.  I still go through a lot of various symptoms and have waves and windows, but they’ve gotten less intense and shorter.  Mornings are still the worst time, then things get better later in the day.  I went through a period in early July where I was very sensitive to stress like you.  It mostly passed now, I’m much more resilient but when in a wave it comes back a little and I’m definitely not 100%.  It is weird because I can feel everything ever so slowly and gradually getting better.  But SO slow.

 

One day at a time, we will get there!

[[va...]]

Azbill you're absolutely right. It's SO slow. I'm having a window today. The best windows ever. I think today is the first day I feel "almost" perfectly normal since I crashed in June. I wonder why it's being so hard for you Bill as you're not kindled. Maybe klonopin is tougher than valium or maybe it just depends on each person how bad the brain is going to react to the benzo. My father has been put on klonopin 0.5 daily by his genius neurologist, at the age of 78 turning 79 this month. My father won't hear my warnings because I'm dumb as I'm not a doctor. So he's been taking it for months now under the supervision of this "wonderful" doctor. We'll see how that goes. The die is cast.

[[Fi...]]

Despite another night of choppy sleep, (but at least some sleep), I'm okayish today.  Very tired from not sleeping two night before. 

 

Frustrated that I have no purpose in my life right now, and the days are long but I'm not super depressed. 

 

Going to attempt to load the ticker tape at some point. 

 

Maybe some household chores and a walk to the pharmacy. 

 

Blah, but okay.

 

Hope everyone is doing okay, decent or hanging in there.