The Long Hold Support Group

[[se...]]

Congrats Sea Salt- May I ask at what point during your taper did you hold and for how long? Happy to hear things are better for you. Are you still experiencing everything that is at the bottom of your signature?

 

Can anyone come up with a reason why you start to feel worse when holding? I get this horrible toxic poisoned feeling when I hold for more than a week but I am finding I am becoming much worse as I go down and fear what will happen if I continue like this.

 

Hello, my last post says 26 months, it is actually 16 months.  In the beginning of my taper I began cutting weekly and then decided to hold for a month as the symptoms were overwhelming.  After that I only cut once a month for nine months.  I then began 2.5 percent per week for the last half of the taper.  Sometimes I held an extra week or two.  It has worked well for me.  I am at .006 now and will be done on Sunday.

 

I too would feel awful (usually on week three).  I have no idea why this happens but it got much better the lower I got.  I hope this helps.

[[30...]]

thanks everyone for coming back and offering support.  Yes, I was initially of the mindset and kept hearing from folks "just keep going - the goal is to get rid of it so you can really start to heal" --- in the meantime, I was falling apart.  I updosed from .65 to 1mg of Xanax eight days ago and I am going to just sit tight here and try to let my system recalibrate.  are there suggestions on what I should be looking out for --- meaning I have heard it can feel worse before it gets better and people often misconstrue that "worsening" to the hold not working or going into tolerance.  I do want off this stuff but want to find a way to be functional and over the past few months I have become much more housebound (almost entirely housebound and very very fearful of everything --- although I did force myself to be driven by a friend today to get my first vaccine shot). 

I so appreciate the support and kindness of this group as it is a scary time right now --- my family is supportive -- has watched the Lisa ling special/read about christy huff, looks at the benzo information coalition stuff--- but they are pained watching my life be so small and painful right now and I know there is a part of them that wants me to JUST DO SOMETHING, DON'T JUST SIT THERE. -- but I am wondering if just sitting still isn't doing something afterall? 

thanks for reading

[[30...]]

sunny,

how long have you been holding?  you mentioned you are starting to get some relief?  I am so glad!

[[Tr...]]

Hello Seasalt,

 

So happy for you! Sunday is going to be a great day for you!  Gently walking off!  You did it! 

 

Let me tell you it feels wonderful to be off this evil stuff! Nothing  compares.

 

Like you I planned to walk off on a Sunday, but decided to end this nonsense of trying to weigh a tiny, almost microscopic small piece.

And, of course, therapeutically it stopped doing anything long before this. By now it was only a mental thing.

So, just to prove to myself I was stronger than the benzo, I quit 3 days earlier than planned! No sweat, no big deal! 

"A small step for man, but a giant leap for my self confidence!" 

 

All the best! X

 

Trochsetter

[[se...]]

Thank you so much for the reassurance!  It’s been a rough week so far, I needed to hear this.  Sunday I rejoice!!

[[Gi...]]

Seasalt,

 

I'm so happy to see you are nearly finished.  Sunday is Independence day for you.  Congratulations.  Ginger

[[se...]]

Thank you Gingermint! 

 

I started this nightmare journey the month after you finished yours! Thank you for coming back and being supportive to all of us that are still struggling, it means a lot.  I plan to follow in your footsteps.

[[Ol...]]

Hi friends! Just dropping in to say hello and let you know that I’m doing alright. I looked through the last few months of posts here, lots happening! Congratulations Troch!! Congratulations JWL!!! Congratulations Seasalt!!! Am I missing anyone? Walking off is a HUGE accomplishment and you did it! I’m overjoyed for you. All of you will get there. It feels like it’s never going to happen and then one day it does. I’m so sorry to hear about your mother Meems and JWL. someone else lost their mother too.. I read last night and now I’m forgetting. Sending you love too.  I lost my dad 8 years ago and I can say that the grief never goes away but you just learn to live with it in a more easeful way. I still tear up when I think about him and I wouldn’t want that to go away, it keeps him close.

 

VNM, I’m happy to hear that you are having some good days. That is a very big deal!

Uni 🦄, great to hear from you, I’m sorry you are still trying to recover from the brand changes, that is so so hard. I’m rooting for you girl, you know I love you.

Mary! Miss you! I’m sorry you are in pain. I am too, I try to ignore it but some days I am laid out. I feel you!

Trishy it sounds like you are keeping yourself busy, that is so great to hear. Be careful out there! This delta variant is rampant right now, I have several vaccinated friends who have gotten it and one of them gave it to her 2 year old unvaccinated daughter. Scary!

 

I have been living my life in Portland, spending time with a small number of people and working from home, my life is very chill compared to how it was pre Benzo w/d. I used to tour with my bands and party like crazy! I was an intense extrovert.  That has changed partially because of the pandemic, but mostly because during the years of withdrawal I learned to spend time alone and now I often prefer it. People can be utterly exhausting. My digestion is still not back to normal and bothers me on most days, but it  is nothing compared to the hell I went through 2016-2019 so I’m not complaining. I’m able to keep up my current hobbies of roller skating and juggling, and spending time with my 2 new kittens, Quincy and Rue! They are the lights of my life!

 

To everyone I didn’t mention, sorry there are so many names to remember! I love you all and am eternally grateful for this group, the lighthouse in the storm of the worst time of my life.

[[Ol...]]

Meant to say also Gingermint, thanks for holding down the alumni front, it is so important to be a beacon of hope for people! 💖💖💖

[[Gi...]]

Thanks OliveKitty.  I have had a rough last two months but symptoms are easing and I am starting to feel that I have my  life back.  My emotions, blunted by the Ativan, are coming back too.  I can feel joy, love, hope much more fully.

 

I hope you are doing well and that any remaining symptoms you have will soon be gone for good.  Ginger

 

[[tr...]]

Gstc:

Lots of ppl on here have the feeling of their heart rate rising suddenly..a common symptom. Sorry...

 

You are still young (even if you don't feel like it lol) and your chance for children is still wide open. I know a member on here who actually got pregnant while in recovery, delivered the baby with no meds (omg...) and is doing super well now. Her story was really rough too in regards to polydrugged and such. So please have hope!

 

[[bo...]]

for those that re dizzy, bloaty  does it increase  at the cycle time? feel  a bit lost today the loneliness is unbelivable

[[Tr...]]

For me, yes the dizziness is worse with ovulation and pms. Hang in there ❤️

[[bo...]]

For me, yes the dizziness is worse with ovulation and pms. Hang in there ❤️

[/quote

 

thank you  you too

[[Tr...]]

 

 

Hi everyone,

 

Wow, almost a bit of a reunion!  So nice to see some of the long holders from a while back here on BB again.

Glad to hear most of you are doing a little or even a lot better.

 

Many of my symptoms are going or at least hardly bother me anymore. A few others have appeared, but I 'm hopeful that with time, they will go as well.

 

Stay safe and strong, everyone!

 

Trochsetter

[[se...]]

Benzo free today, I am so happy, but bracing myself…

[[Gi...]]

Seasalt,  Congratulations!! You tapered down low so I hope you just walk off with a minimum of discomfort.  Enjoy your newfound freedom from benzos.  Ginger

[[30...]]

seasalt,

congratulations --  can't wait to hear about your progress!

[[se...]]

Thank you, stay tuned

[[Tr...]]

 

Hi Seasalt,

 

You did it!

 

CONGRATULATIONS!  :smitten: :thumbsup:

 

It's going to be great.  The feeling is indescribable. No more pills, no more measuring. The mental relief is sooo astonishing.

 

Hope you enjoy every second of your refound life!!

 

Trochsetter

[[se...]]

Thank you trochsetter, last night I deleted my alarm for dosing, that in itself was so incredible!!  I’m praying for a smooth transition into life without that dreaded ball and chain.

 

Thank you for the encouragement!

[[Tr...]]

 

 

Good morning  Seasalt,

 

From now on things are going your way. No more benzo messing you up. The future 's looking bright!

 

Tomorrow I 'm benzo free 2,5 months. Feeling great mentally and improving physically. Add to that a calm period of Fibromyalgia and you understand my lust for life.

 

Enjoy every moment of your day.

 

Trochsetter

[[En...]]

 

 

Good morning  Seasalt,

 

From now on things are going your way. No more benzo messing you up. The future 's looking bright!

 

Tomorrow I 'm benzo free 2,5 months. Feeling great mentally and improving physically. Add to that a calm period of Fibromyalgia and you understand my lust for life.

 

Enjoy every moment of your day.

 

Trochsetter

 

Hey man did you have brain fog? If so after how long did it lift up?

[[se...]]

I did have terrible brain fog, it lifted half way through my taper.  I was incredibly low on B12 so I think that played a big part. 

[[30...]]

hi guys,

I am a 50 years old, perimenopausal (but still regular) and in the middle of a Xanax taper.  I was wondering if folks notice around ovulation and pms/period a surge in anxiety, depression, agitation, even suicidal thinking (not going to do it).  I am suffering in this taper anyway but things seem to get exponentially worse.