Things I wish I had known and advice that I hadn't followed

[Guest [Se...]]

Do you feel Isolation?  Please just Yes or No. If yes, how do you rate it on a scale from 1-5, 5 being the greatest). :smitten:

 

Do you feel HOPE?  Yes or No?

 

 

Thank you n God bless you.  Please join me 3-4pm every day with EWTN for all who suffer.

[[tr...]]

Serenity 2010:

 

Just wanted to let you know that this is a secular support board and invitations to religious radio stations, websites, etc is considered solicitation/proselytization. Please refrain from this in the future. Thanks!

[[Me...]]

Are you the one who bullied Baylissa on Twitter?

[[Pa...]]

Are you the one who bullied Baylissa on Twitter?

 

I don't know who you're addressing this question to but its not productive.

[[Me...]]

Are you the one who bullied Baylissa on Twitter?

 

I don't know who you're addressing this question to but its not productive.

 

I don’t think this entire post is appropriate honestly.

[Guest [Jb...]]

Are you the one who bullied Baylissa on Twitter?

 

I don't know who you're addressing this question to but its not productive.

 

I don’t think this entire post is appropriate honestly.

 

I think it is appropriate. The number of people I have spoken to now that waited for years and years but never did and then went on medications and now have a quality of life is quite high. Or the people that thought it was benzos and it ended up being something else entirely.  I think people coming back and sharing their experiences is vital. Many of the people I have messaged on benzobuddies and other facebook groups ended up going back on benzos or other drugs.  I believe it is a lot more common than we think.  Spending all day with symptoms straight from the devil for years on end hoping to heal isn't possible for some. Some hold on, some go on meds and some choose another router, unfortunately. It's just the way it is. Going back on benzos or other drugs is a serious risk with tolerance etc but if someone is contemplating certain things everything must be tried in my opinion.  I don't understand why some claim to be 6 years off etc in 24/7 torture and are still holding on. Usually, you can go down the rabbit hole and figure out why while some are really unfortunate and stuck. Everyone is different in this. None of us deserve to experience it that is for sure.

[[Ju...]]

Are you the one who bullied Baylissa on Twitter?

 

I don't know who you're addressing this question to but its not productive.

 

This entire thread is not productive.

 

Eta Meganz I wrote this before I read your response.

[[Me...]]

Ohhhh J,

You are treading some dangerous waters here.

Let’s say someone 6 years out sees this and starts medication- AND GETS WORSE

GUESS WHO THEYRE GONNA BLAME

[[Me...]]

Are you the one who bullied Baylissa on Twitter?

 

I don't know who you're addressing this question to but its not productive.

 

This entire thread is not productive.

 

Eta Meganz I wrote this before I read your response.

 

Lol glad we’re on the same page Just

[[Be...]]

Are you the one who bullied Baylissa on Twitter?

 

I don't know who you're addressing this question to but its not productive.

 

This entire thread is not productive.

 

Eta Meganz I wrote this before I read your response.

 

 

You and Meganz may disagree, but I feel it is. And the fact Colin chose to reinstate it shows the admins felt it was. For those who don't find it not productive, you are free to not read it.

 

I suspect, Meganz, that you are addressing JayTay0,  and I agree with Pamster, not productive. Did you read Colin's post on the subject of removing threads referencing Baylissa? Admins backed JayTay0 but levied criticisms at Baylissa's posts. I suspect you won't find that productive either, but my reaction was like Colin's. Things were getting heated on the sunject of Baylissa, the Admins and mods had to step in. I think they weighed the pros and cons, and made some difficult decisions. You are free to disagree with those decisions, I feel they made the correct ones.

[[Me...]]

Cool well I don’t care enough to stick around this topic so bye

[[Ju...]]

Cool well I don’t care enough to stick around this topic so bye

 

It was nice to meet you and yes, we are definitely on the same page. 

[[Co...]]

Ohhhh J,

You are treading some dangerous waters here.

Let’s say someone 6 years out sees this and starts medication- AND GETS WORSE

GUESS WHO THEYRE GONNA BLAME

 

Huh? Jbreezy415 was clearly not advocating for any particular route. S/he was purely relating his/her experiences and thoughts. What is far more dominant here (and contrary to the BB Mission Statement) is members advocating for the use of no medicines.

 

BB Mission Statement:

 

BenzoBuddies: an inclusive, nonjudgmental mutual-support environment for those who wish to withdraw from benzodiazepines.

 

Members of the BenzoBuddies community are encouraged to exchange ideas, information and support during the process of withdrawal and recovery.

 

Although outside of the immediate scope of BenzoBuddies, members are free to discuss their wider medical problems and needs as they relate to benzodiazepine use and withdrawal.

 

Taking or quitting any medicine—including benzodiazepines—should be a personal decision made in consultation with a suitably qualified medical practitioner.

 

Through a peer-support model, we strive to help members achieve their goals.

 

BB does not exist as a conduit for one particular view and process. What is the best outcome will vary from individual to individual. For some, this will mean reinstatement and/or the use of additional medications. For others, total abstinence is the better course. Do what is best for you.

[Guest [Se...]]

Yes, Breezy I believe there is something lethal about sitting with 'intrusive thoughts' 24/7 and waiting to heal without the support.  I do not think it's humane or humanly possible although I have sat with many people attempting to do it because that's what the general recommendation is.  It's horrible.  What is other issues like guilt, shame, spiritual, isolation etc is being misidentified.  Isolation has it's own treatment as well as ocd, depression etc.  Sitting with symptoms especially the intrusive thinking is lethal apparently.  How safe is it to take advice from someone experiencing psychosis or symptoms into years.  Isn't "healing" subjective?

Maybe that means the solution doesn't match the problem which is going unsupported. 

[[Ju...]]

Ohhhh J,

You are treading some dangerous waters here.

Let’s say someone 6 years out sees this and starts medication- AND GETS WORSE

GUESS WHO THEYRE GONNA BLAME

 

Huh? Jbreezy415 was clearly not advocating for any particular route. S/he was purely relating his/her experiences and thoughts. What is far more dominant here (and contrary to the BB Mission Statement) is members advocating for the use of no medicines.

 

BB Mission Statement:

 

BenzoBuddies: an inclusive, nonjudgmental mutual-support environment for those who wish to withdraw from benzodiazepines.

 

Members of the BenzoBuddies community are encouraged to exchange ideas, information and support during the process of withdrawal and recovery.

 

Although outside of the immediate scope of BenzoBuddies, members are free to discuss their wider medical problems and needs as they relate to benzodiazepine use and withdrawal.

 

Taking or quitting any medicine—including benzodiazepines—should be a personal decision made in consultation with a suitably qualified medical practitioner.

 

Through a peer-support model, we strive to help members achieve their goals.

 

BB does not exist as a conduit for one particular view and process. What is the best outcome will vary from individual to individual. For some, this will mean reinstatement and/or the use of additional medications. For others, total abstinence is the better course. Do what is best for you.

 

Who is advocating use of no medicine?

[[Ma...]]

Jay,

 

I agree with some of your points.  The poly drug concept interpreted as shameful and evil is dangerous.  It’s an individual decision that comes with risks. A positive result can be life saving.

 

I do need to make a point. “Slow taper “ is a VERY subjective concept. On your signature, it states that you tapered 2.5 K in 2 years.  Is that correct?. That is the equivalent of 50 mg of Valium. IMO that is not a slow taper.  It would be fully understandable the symptoms that you withstood and the suffering that you have endured. At 1 year out, you seem to be healing. I’m so happy for you.

[[Co...]]

Ohhhh J,

You are treading some dangerous waters here.

Let’s say someone 6 years out sees this and starts medication- AND GETS WORSE

GUESS WHO THEYRE GONNA BLAME

 

Huh? Jbreezy415 was clearly not advocating for any particular route. S/he was purely relating his/her experiences and thoughts. What is far more dominant here (and contrary to the BB Mission Statement) is members advocating for the use of no medicines.

 

BB Mission Statement:

 

BenzoBuddies: an inclusive, nonjudgmental mutual-support environment for those who wish to withdraw from benzodiazepines.

 

Members of the BenzoBuddies community are encouraged to exchange ideas, information and support during the process of withdrawal and recovery.

 

Although outside of the immediate scope of BenzoBuddies, members are free to discuss their wider medical problems and needs as they relate to benzodiazepine use and withdrawal.

 

Taking or quitting any medicine—including benzodiazepines—should be a personal decision made in consultation with a suitably qualified medical practitioner.

 

Through a peer-support model, we strive to help members achieve their goals.

 

BB does not exist as a conduit for one particular view and process. What is the best outcome will vary from individual to individual. For some, this will mean reinstatement and/or the use of additional medications. For others, total abstinence is the better course. Do what is best for you.

 

Who is advocating use of no medicine?

 

I am not going to name names. But there is strong a bias by a significant number of members towards no meds (in particular, no psychoactive meds). A few take it to extremes. For a member to advocate such a position is contrary to BB policy.

[[De...]]

Hey Colin,

Sorry for adressing another point here, can you let me know How much time took for you to handle/overcome your agoraphobia ? Your reasons to feel agoraphobic of leaving home on your worst períods of WD you consider It was linked to the anxiety that the whole ordeal of sx or each of them were contributing on your total ammount of anxiety? Just your thougts on It , i dont know How are you doing this days i would like to know, IM seeing above about your reinstatment and i aint understanding what people are saying About your own case, thank you

 

Just for let you know, i had on my last attempt( more intense) and IM having again the same or similar ordeal of mental sx( less on this attempt compared to my last) and problems of leaving home, last time i i felt agoraphobic  of leaving like that until start a drug who managed It and my whole ordeal of mental sx.. First on w high dose then i went decreasing It .. thats my case my friends

 

About other drugs, sincerly i dont know How would i feel If It was not by other drugs to give my functionality back and Control the mental hell i was dealing at that time . Same thing on this attempt, i expect that with some time the drug IM now plus time of recovery Will provide this functionality again, ( IM adressing time + the drug)since IM on a acute phase (thats its getting easyer) and the same drug is not yet providing this sort of relief like It gave me after 9 to 10 months off on my last attempt, but i know It Will, and  maybe after some big time of recovery From benzos injury It Will bê possíble tô slowly taper them, thats my view and my case about other drugs

 

Sincerly i was not standing intrusive thoughts linking suicide as the only way out, the difference is, on my last WD i endured It for almost 10 months.. then suddenly pregabalin stated tô manage most of my mental sx related tô WD , i see as benzo WD ? Yes.. but the drug helped me, gave time for my brain to recover, probably It would and It Will give me some sort of WD when i feel prepared to start to taper them, but my brain Will bê more healed From injuries linked to benzos, that probably are the worst one in matters of everything

[Guest [Se...]]

Because isolation with intrusive thoughts is leading to devastating circumstances that I am currently witnessing in ppl using community forums to get help.  Isolation by itself is its own issue and a need for attention. Extremely long tapers which do not deter the classic benzo wd symptoms and sitting with symptoms is in my experience leading to devastating circumstances.  :'( 

And hope is everything to a suffering soul.

[[Ju...]]

Well I've been diagnosed by like four different psychiatrists as OCD including at a program specifically for OCD at the top psychiatric hospital in the country so I'm going to listen to them and not blame the literal NONSTOP intrusive thoughts I was experiencing on some protracted withdrawal waiting for some magical healing date when they just go away.

 

Baylissa herself might not offer tapering advice but she was the one who introduced me to a friend of hers who is very much involved in the online alternative community and she certainly had no problem at all telling me to updose to stabilize or reinstate and go much slower or do liquid tapers with milk or switch to Valium even when no doctors for years would even look at the Ashton Manual when I would print it out and bring it with me on appointments. It wasted A LOT of time and did nothing to avoid acute withdrawal or prepare me for the absolute onslaught of the OCD symptoms in addition to everything else I went through suffering at home. Like four years when all was said and done.

 

 

I think this is very strange, even when  i was tapering she might have told me these are your options but i know she would  have never told  me which one I should choose, thats a big difference. And that's fine if you accept your diagnosis, if you had these issues before wd, wd will not cure it. If you did not have this before wd then it will eventually go. These psychiatrist have to give you a diagnosis, thats their job as well as prescribe medications. If you didn't have ocd before then I dont know why you don't believe it will go once you heal just like 1,000s of others who got OCD from wd as well and it went away when they healed.  Time frames are definitely the hardest part of this journey,  not knowing when is tortuous, so I understand your decision to try something. If it works then thats wonderful. We all need this to end asap and so I would never judge anyone for trying something and bonus if it helps. As far as an online person she recommended, not sure what this person does so you'll have to elaborate. I just get very defensive for these guys who are out their trying to help and there us no one else helping and then I see people blame them for their awful experience, its just not fair, this journey absolutely sucks and its no ones fault but ours, we took the med and unfortunately any advice we get is just a guess. Someone somewhere has taken advice and half the people succeeded with this advice and the other half failed. Its a no win situation this journey. I think they get alot of slack when at the end of the day who else is out there trying to help us......no one!

 

I don't blame her for my awful experience I mean I was prescribed benzos without any explanation that they were addicting or incredibly difficult to come off of. But I do think she's a bit out of her league in these crisis interventions that she fields everyday. People in crisis need professional help that a virtual therapist/coach/advisor can't provide. I think normalizing things like suicidal ideation as part of the process can be incredibly dangerous. I can only speak to my own experience but being told that I know I won't act on the thoughts when they were telling me to do all sorts of dangerous things just wasn't enough. I don't think the most skilled Buddhist monk on earth could have just sat with that level of frequent and intense intrusive thoughts. Also just being in her webinars and Q&A sessions and hearing stories of people who needed to be handcuffed to a bed in order to survive were really extremely triggering and something my obsessions latched onto and made me really fearful.

 

Her friend works for the benzo information coaltion and the withdrawal connect inner compass and since Baylissa is mentioned by name at the latter it became a bit confusing for me parsing out the guidance I was getting from her with the information that's supported on that site.

 

Hi. I'm really glad that you are feeling better. I do have a question about your posts though. Why do you not mention the name of Baylissa's "friend"? The person that guided you in tapers?

[[Ju...]]

Well I've been diagnosed by like four different psychiatrists as OCD including at a program specifically for OCD at the top psychiatric hospital in the country so I'm going to listen to them and not blame the literal NONSTOP intrusive thoughts I was experiencing on some protracted withdrawal waiting for some magical healing date when they just go away.

 

Baylissa herself might not offer tapering advice but she was the one who introduced me to a friend of hers who is very much involved in the online alternative community and she certainly had no problem at all telling me to updose to stabilize or reinstate and go much slower or do liquid tapers with milk or switch to Valium even when no doctors for years would even look at the Ashton Manual when I would print it out and bring it with me on appointments. It wasted A LOT of time and did nothing to avoid acute withdrawal or prepare me for the absolute onslaught of the OCD symptoms in addition to everything else I went through suffering at home. Like four years when all was said and done.

 

 

I think this is very strange, even when  i was tapering she might have told me these are your options but i know she would  have never told  me which one I should choose, thats a big difference. And that's fine if you accept your diagnosis, if you had these issues before wd, wd will not cure it. If you did not have this before wd then it will eventually go. These psychiatrist have to give you a diagnosis, thats their job as well as prescribe medications. If you didn't have ocd before then I dont know why you don't believe it will go once you heal just like 1,000s of others who got OCD from wd as well and it went away when they healed.  Time frames are definitely the hardest part of this journey,  not knowing when is tortuous, so I understand your decision to try something. If it works then thats wonderful. We all need this to end asap and so I would never judge anyone for trying something and bonus if it helps. As far as an online person she recommended, not sure what this person does so you'll have to elaborate. I just get very defensive for these guys who are out their trying to help and there us no one else helping and then I see people blame them for their awful experience, its just not fair, this journey absolutely sucks and its no ones fault but ours, we took the med and unfortunately any advice we get is just a guess. Someone somewhere has taken advice and half the people succeeded with this advice and the other half failed. Its a no win situation this journey. I think they get alot of slack when at the end of the day who else is out there trying to help us......no one!

 

I don't blame her for my awful experience I mean I was prescribed benzos without any explanation that they were addicting or incredibly difficult to come off of. But I do think she's a bit out of her league in these crisis interventions that she fields everyday. People in crisis need professional help that a virtual therapist/coach/advisor can't provide. I think normalizing things like suicidal ideation as part of the process can be incredibly dangerous. I can only speak to my own experience but being told that I know I won't act on the thoughts when they were telling me to do all sorts of dangerous things just wasn't enough. I don't think the most skilled Buddhist monk on earth could have just sat with that level of frequent and intense intrusive thoughts. Also just being in her webinars and Q&A sessions and hearing stories of people who needed to be handcuffed to a bed in order to survive were really extremely triggering and something my obsessions latched onto and made me really fearful.

 

Her friend works for the benzo information coaltion and the withdrawal connect inner compass and since Baylissa is mentioned by name at the latter it became a bit confusing for me parsing out the guidance I was getting from her with the information that's supported on that site.

 

Hi. I'm really glad that you are feeling better. I do have a question about your posts though. Why do you not mention the name of Baylissa's "friend"? The person that guided you in tapers?

 

I mean she doesn’t offer professional services like Baylissa does. But the information on tapering was presented to me in a manner of it being the “correct” way to avoid the protracted withdrawal stories I saw all over the internet and some of the nasty acute ones too.

And why not post her name?

[[Co...]]

Hi all,

 

You know, this is the Internet and you are arguing with people you do not know. Does that make much sense to you? I know - from experience - how amplified and raw everything feels when going through withdrawal and recovery. Everything here is being blown out of proportion. I honestly do get it - it feels horrible - but it is truly an overreaction from several of you. But I see this only as a minor spat (from my perspective). None of you seem like bad people to me - you are just struggling. My best advice to you is to take few days off from here and gain some perspective. You all have far more in common than you seem to realise. Try to find and focus on that.

 

There is only one person from these recent discussions deserving of my ire - and I addressed that I my announcement. The rest of you are OK - just try to step back and maybe you all will see it too.

[[Me...]]

I had a spat like this a few months ago ya’ll. I was so mad someone triggered me. I reported them and yelled at them and it was pretty bad. I couldn’t put my phone down I was so upset. I was obsessed with winning the argument and so angry I couldn’t see straight and so triggered.

 

It’s not worth it. Go love yourself <3

[[Be...]]

Hi all,

 

You know, this is the Internet and you are arguing with people you do not know. Does that make much sense to you? I know - from experience - how amplified and raw everything feels when going through withdrawal and recovery. Everything here is being blown out of proportion. I honestly do get it - it feels horrible - but it is truly an overreaction from several of you. But I see this only as a minor spat (from my perspective). None of you seem like bad people to me - you are just struggling. My best advice to you is to take few days off from here and gain some perspective. You all have far more in common than you seem to realise. Try to find and focus on that.

 

There is only one person from these recent discussions deserving of my ire - and I addressed that I my announcement. The rest of you are OK - just try to step back and maybe you all will see it too.

 

 

I deleted my posts and sent in a mod request asking if there was anyway that yours and Pamsters replies quoting my posts could be removed. Pamster responded through PM for which ones, and she too care of it. I know you've been getting a lot of heat in the Baylissa thread, and I wasn't helping things here. I took to heart what you wrote above, and Meganz reply, plus she PM'd me with an even more detailed message, and I realize you and she were both right. I also PM'd JayTay, and decided to follow her suggestion. Maybe at some point  Givemehope68 and I can resolve things. I offered a white flag of peace to a person who I had a gotten caught up in a disagreement about Baylissa in another thread. He graciously accepted it and we are on good terms now. We just agreed to disagree on Baylissa, and left it at that.

 

I had a bad day on Monday and let things get to me, and I apologize that I let my emotions dictate my behavior. Your plate has been pretty full the past few days, I imagine it was exhausting for you. And I had added to that and again I'm sorry.    Hopefully things will quiet down, especially in that other thread that kept you so occupied, now that Pianogirl asked in the Baylissa thread that everyone move on and get back to what this forum is for. Though I did reply to a question from  JuustHere directed at Pianogirl and you, only because I knew the answer. You may have seen it, I didn't think either of you would mind. Admins and mods backed me on several posts, so I saw it as an opportunity to return the favor and back you. Either way, JuustHere did not say anything in reply, perhaps because JuustHere saw the intro by Baylissa that I mentioned, or just decided to let it rest. Which is what I did in this thread, after having my comments removed of my own volition. I hope you are getting a much needed break today.

[[Be...]]

I had a spat like this a few months ago ya’ll. I was so mad someone triggered me. I reported them and yelled at them and it was pretty bad. I couldn’t put my phone down I was so upset. I was obsessed with winning the argument and so angry I couldn’t see straight and so triggered.

 

It’s not worth it. Go love yourself <3

 

I should have listened to you the first time, your PM to me really helped. You are absolutely right, in both what you wrote here and PM'd to me. As you can see, I deleted everything and Pamster deleted the replies from staff quoting me, at my request. Your PM helped me make that decision. Thank you.

 

Did you see this post from  Givemehope68? http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=253628.0 You are the type of person she was asking for feedback from. If anybody undersrtands what she's going through, it's you. Perhaps you can drop in and offer her some advice. 

 

ETA:  Givemehope68? announced she is leaving BB, so no use you replying at this point.