Cold turkey and a broken face

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I tried to quit Valium cold turkey 2013. Then I had been using Valium for only a year. I had to put down my horse back then and I didn't want to take any pills, because I wanted to grief him without feeling like a zombie. So I just quit the medication and the whole summer I had so much anxiety that I could hardly breath. I also loss a lot of weight. When I was riding one day I just fainted from my other horse and broke my jaw at two places and the bone under my left eye. I had to have surgery and it took many weeks before my jaw was healed. Then I was on pain medication for a couple of months and after that I started taking Valium again because of my anxiety (that is 1000 times worse since I started taking Valium). Seven years later I'm still on this hell medication. I had no idea that this medication was the reason I have been so depressed and feeling so bad for years. Killing my creativity and making me a bleach version of myself. I am now on a taper and I hope I can feel like myself again.

 

So my advice is: don't try to quit benzo could turkey! It's very dangerous.   

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W,

I will ask you to read the first few pages of my Blog. "Eastcoast's Trip. It is actually my second Success Story. (Long story there, best left unsaid!) Go to the Home page and scroll down to Buddie Blogs.

 

I grew up in Maryland. Horse country plus farms back then. I had a  horse back then, a chestnut mare named Twinkle who came directly from Man O War's blood. I grew up riding horses. I took lessons and always rode English. I was  in Pony Club back then too. In the 1950s, that small town (Potomac Maryland) was a haven for fox hunts. To see the riders in their red coats, on beautiful horses, chasing foxes was pretty exciting. I learned they did not really chase a fox. The dogs chased the SCENT of foxes created by Man.  Then I hit my teens and boys became more interesting than horses.

Please read my Blog, and get back to me. I have a hunch I might be of use in your recovery.

BTW, I DID go cold turkey. Forced to. And I do not regret that at all now.

east

[[Wi...]]

Hello eastcoast62

 

I couldn't find your blog, I really want to read it! Oh, growing up at a horse country farm sounds amazing! My goal is to live in a farm in the future and have a peaceful life. But it's like 8 years have been stolen from me and I had no idea that my valium use was the reason for it! I have been feeling that something is wrong for years, but I never really suspected the medication for it because I have been having a painful childhood  and thought I was depressed because of that and other drug problems and other hard events in life. But it feels like I'm a ghost or something. 

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Winchester,

I understand your worries. You took these drugs thinking they were safe. You trusted your doctor. I sure can relate to your feeling you had 8 years stolen from you. In my case, its thirty years. OMG. I SO wish I had known how dangerous these drugs are. I am also an RN and thought I knew a lot about drugs. But benzos? I didnt know a damn thing.

Its too late now, and I have to just roll with the punches now and try to make my life better DESPITE losing so many years.

 

I love you saying yo feel sort of like a ghost. I know just what you mean. Sort of distant, away, faded, as if you are living in this weird gray-ish film, that makes everything look strange and you just feel SO removed from it all. This IS benzo wd. And it will go away but when is the big question. For now, just know that this is VERY normal for us and nothing to worry about.

Annie (east)