Coming off klonopin

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Hey Pam. I'm doing ok, dropped again to 0.4am/0.5pm today and immediately felt cramps and spent several hours either in bed or in the bathroom. I couldn't get up without being in pain and having to get to the bathroom. It passed, there was nothing until tonight, I feel very uncomfortable. A sense of dread, overheating, panic attacks that can't be explained like a typical panic attack (it feels "off"), and the feeling of impending doom. My chest feels tight, I'm getting a headache, my mouth is dry and sour. I also feel depressed and gloomy, sometimes I don't feel anything at all.

 

I know it's just my brain playing tricks while it adjusts, none of this is real and it doesn't fool me for a second. It'll pass, there are better things on the horizon and this is a small price to pay. I hope I can sleep tonight without nightmares, but I know they're around the corner too. From 3mg to .9 in four months, piece of cake.

[[Pa...]]

I'm amazed you can see through the lies the drug is telling you, I spend hours hear each day telling members about how the drug lies to us and you already know it, good for you. 

 

You sound pretty miserable though, I sure recognize your symptoms, I had them too and while I remember them, I can no longer feel them so they have no power to hurt me anymore. 

 

I've probably cautioned you about this but you know that once off the drug, there is recovery the recovery phase, right?  I hate to see you push so hard with your taper knowing you won't have the drug to temper your symptoms once you're off of it. 

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Not doing so well. I bumped into my recent ex-girlfriend at the store. It was a very upsetting break up, she left me. Long story short, we got back together that night and it lasted two days before she burned me again. Said she didn't want to see me for a week+ due to work, but didn't want to see me on her days off. So, you know what that says..And I should have known to stay away, but like a dumbass, I thought it would be better. I haven't eaten a solid meal in a couple days or slept much. Took a rescue dose, but it hasn't really helped. I feel upset and just want to cry. Even worse is I'm too ashamed to tell anybody about this because they know how psychotic she is. This was my fault, I should have never talked to her, but unfortunately she's pregnant and there's a really good chance it's mine and I felt an obligation. 

 

Edit: She called me and wants to come over and talk. I feel shivering, havent eaten anything today, mentally drained but I agreed because maybe we can at least clear the air and try to reach an amicable agreement. I promised I would keep her at arms length but why do we let people have such control over us. This is a bad time, I don't like where this is going. And I knew I would regret it if I talked to her, much less agreed to see her. The screenshots from when she dumped me, they're horrible, I had nightmares.

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Cleared the last issue up a week ago. It was destroying me, couldn't eat or sleep but it's in the past now. I recently cut the morning dose from .2 to .1 after only six days and I'm having incredible body aches. It's not covid and I don't have a fever. Last night, I woke up with such a bad case of acid reflux that my throat closed and I had to call an ambulance. I think it's related to the withdrawals because I've had it before but never that bad, can't be a coincidence. In the future, I'm staying with the average of ten days between cuts. Problem was I was feeling much better and thought it was safe, and the last cut went over two weeks.

 

The lesson here is stick with the average number of days between cuts, don't try to cheat the system because there's no prize for first place.

[[Pa...]]

It sounds like you learned a painful lesson about patience, I've seen so many members get bit when they try to cut too much or too quickly.  I'm glad you got past the other issue, the last thing you need in your life right now is stress, that can tip you into some intense suffering. 

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Hi Pamster. Unfortunately, I have to dial back from 0.6mg to 1.0mg for the time being. The last relationship that I told you about finally got to me. I resisted increasing and kept the 0.1 am / 0.5 pm but it's extremely debilitating. I'll keep the details out because I'm exhausted but I'm having all of the bad stuff that comes with a break up. Vomiting, dryheaving, panic attacks, sweats/chills, stomach issues, paranoia, crying. It's really getting to me in the worst way possible, I feel trapped. I've made an appointment for tomorrow, I'm going to ask my doctor for buspirone. I've never taken it before due to the interaction between that and ssri/snri drugs, but I haven't used those for more than six months since atenolol produced better results with zero side effects. I can't tolerate ssri's, too many side effects and efficacy was always low.

 

The other thing I wanted to mention is that I think the manual should be adjusted for the morning dose at the end. Going from 0.7 to 0.6 is more than a 10% cut, the manual emphasizes 10% at 0.5 to 0.45 for the evening dose, but I think it should be written at 0.2/0.15/0.1/0.05 morning because the last drop from 0.2 to 0.1 am was really bad. It felt like a flu, body aches and feverish (but no fever). That on top of the recent trauma just led to a complete trainwreck.

[[Pa...]]

I'm sorry to hear you're not doing well, I can't imagine having this kind of emotional upheaval along with withdrawal, you must feel terrible.  I'm glad you updosed a bit to help you through this, life doesn't stop dishing out the challenges just because we're trying to withdraw from this drug so you did the right thing.

 

Your taper should be what you need it to be, please follow your body's directions over a manual, this is your taper, your way.

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This is extremely distressing. The buspar didnt work and I fell back to the 0.5/0.5. I think I'm a victim of kindling. I lowered it to 0.4/0.5 nearly a week ago and these withdrawals are absolutely dreadful. Nausea, extreme panic attacks, sweating, the palpitations are scary, I haven't slept more than a few hours in the longest time. At night, I'm trying to sleep and having shakes and episodes of some of the worst panic attacks while trying to fall asleep. I am incredibly terrified, I read that acamprosate may help with this. What can I do? I feel trapped.

[[Pa...]]

I don't know if kindling applies in your situation, have you ever fully stopped taking the drug?  It probably doesn't matter at this point, its useful information when making a determination of whether to take benzo's again, its good to be aware of the risk.  But you're in the middle of eliminating the Klonopin so while kindling could explain your symptoms there's nothing you can do about it, and you are trapped but the only way out is through. 

 

Kindling - The Alliance for Benzodiazepine Best Practices

https://benzoreform.org/kindling/

 

Kindling - Benzodiazepine Information Coalition

https://www.benzoinfo.com/kindling/

 

I don't know anything about Acamprosate but I don't see how a drug used to lessen alcohol cravings could help get your GABA receptors fully functioning again, in fact I see it as possibly interfering, throwing more drugs at this isn't the answer.  Every cell in your body knows how to do this repair job, sometimes we just have to stand back and let them do their work.

 

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Just once a few years ago, it was documented here. But I was down to 0.1/0.5 and then a disastrous breakup happened and I dialed it back to the 0.5 twice, and it was fine. Then cut it to 0.4/0.5 and the withdrawals have been a nightmare. Last night I took a larger dose just so I could get some sleep and I woke up feeling sour, took another 0.5 just to calm down, I'm ok right now. I just dont know what to do, I could either revert to the 0.5 twice but if that doesnt work, increase to 3x daily for a while. The withdrawals for the last week have been horrible, by far the worst. I just feel so defeated, and there's nothing else that works. I've been through so many ssri's, an snri, wellbutrin, buspar, gabapentin, vistaril, two antipsychotics. Benzos are terrible but so is the debilitating panic attacks, nausea, lack of sleep, and on.

 

Or maybe it's not withdrawals, but anxiety from the recent breakup. It really took its toll, I was throwing up and everything.

[[Pa...]]

Stress just about always leads to increased symptom severity, its the first question I ask members who have seen an uptick in symptoms, they go hand in hand.

 

I'm concerned about your erratic dosing, I hope whatever you decide you can get on a consistent dose.  You may need to go up in dose to get stable enough to resume your taper, I know its a miserable thought but settling on a plan can take away the stress of indecision. 

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Thank you, Pam. You've been a wonderful help. I feel so sad about all this and can't stop crying. I wish I had never gotten involved with that terrible woman.

 

The dose is consistent, I held it at the taper then last night broke down and took more. Reason being I would close my eyes, try to rest, and feel an intense panic attack. This was the second night in a row. I was also having mild dryheaves during the day and my heart palpitations were turning into a disaster. This is a serious concern because I went to a cardiologist and have an atrial fibrillation, the atenolol normally keeps it at bay but not now. The last thing I need is a stroke, I live alone and have no family.

 

I'm leaning towards your opinion that it isn't kindling but anxiety and panic disorder, when I keep my mind distracted with work or exercise or games, I feel improvement. But the problem is I can't stay busy 24 hours a day. I'll call my doctor and get an appointment, her waiting list is usually a day or two at the most.

[[Pa...]]

Please understand that tolerance to, dependence on, withdrawal from and recovery from benzodiazepines will lead to increased panic attacks, anxiety, insomnia hundreds of other symptoms.  Once our members have tapered off and recovered from this experience most find their normal anxiety levels are quite manageable, they pale in comparison to the misery these pills produce.

 

I want to give you hope, hope that your suffering to get off the drug will mean a peaceful future.  You using distraction is exactly what you need to be doing, this is our best tool and you're right, we can't use it 24 hours a day but to get even a brief respite from the pain is welcome. 

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I agree. The problem is I'm unable to taper right now, the anxiety and panic attacks I'm experiencing make this untenable. It's worse to try and get off than it is to stay on and weather the storm. This person I saw was by far, the worst I have ever met and the trauma is not going away any time soon. I've deleted my instagram, deleted my facebook (transferred, actually), changed my phone number, all to stay away from any reminders.

 

The last time I had a breakup of this caliber was 20 years ago, I had the priviledge of staying busy at a really fun job (six flags) but once the season ended, the weather changed and I found a miserable job. Started drinking, moved to another state and was bedridden for months until I saw a doctor and got on lexapro and risperdal. It helped. But it doesnt help anymore because of the side effects.

[[Pa...]]

I can see you're devastated and hope you can find a way to ease the pain of your breakup as well as the pain from the Klonopin.  Hopefully you can find a dose that will allow you some quality of life.

 

Edit: Spelling

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Thanks 

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So true Pamster! "Stress just about always leads to increased symptom severity, its the first question I ask members who have seen an uptick in symptoms, they go hand in hand."

 

Just yesterday I had a very stressful day and wooooowee! Symptoms went from something to SOMETHING. I wonder why this specifically happens.

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I saw a doctor and started 2mg of abilify, cut the klonopin from 3x daily to twice, and the hospital put me on pain killers because I need to have an mri done on my hip for nerve pain that was keeping me up all night. Fml.

[[Pa...]]

Please keep us posted, I'm nervous about you starting Abilify, also just in case you didn't know, nerve pain is a pretty common symptom but I don't know what else you've got going on.

 

Can you clarify your benzo dose, are you dropping the entire dose or adding it to your other doses?  I'm nervous about this move too, any change, even without reducing can have a negative effect until your body gets used to it.