Need advice on updosing due to SEVERE instability -LOST and WORRIED

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How long to be stable before doing DMT?....  Idk, maybe a couple weeks.

Keep in mind "stable" doesn't mean "feeling good" or even "as good as before, earlier in the taper"

 

Stable means not getting worse overall.  I was in bad shape when I started my DMT, I had held for over 2 months on an updose and still felt awful and was going thru waves and lesser waves.  It was not what felt like stable but overall I wasn't getting worse, so I took the plunge and began my DMT and I felt so much better once I got going probably b/c that decision of when to start wasn't on my mind anymore.  I wish I had started DMT when I was feeling pretty good very early on...but it doesn't really work that way, does it.  FOr me at least, it was impossible to accept the idea of a multi-year slow daily taper ...until I reached severe hell and tried the faster methods and realized there was no other way and no hope for me unless I gave DMT a try...and it worked!  It took a looooong time to reliably feel much better...like more than a year but it worked.

[[Wi...]]

How long to be stable before doing DMT?....  Idk, maybe a couple weeks.

Keep in mind "stable" doesn't mean "feeling good" or even "as good as before, earlier in the taper"

 

Stable means not getting worse overall.  I was in bad shape when I started my DMT, I had held for over 2 months on an updose and still felt awful and was going thru waves and lesser waves.  It was not what felt like stable but overall I wasn't getting worse, so I took the plunge and began my DMT and I felt so much better once I got going probably b/c that decision of when to start wasn't on my mind anymore.  I wish I had started DMT when I was feeling pretty good very early on...but it doesn't really work that way, does it.  FOr me at least, it was impossible to accept the idea of a multi-year slow daily taper ...until I reached severe hell and tried the faster methods and realized there was no other way and no hope for me unless I gave DMT a try...and it worked!  It took a looooong time to reliably feel much better...like more than a year but it worked.

 

Thanks Libr.  Looks like you are making progress decent progress!  I think adopting the mindset that this will take a while is going to be very important for my son. 

 

On a very positive note, my son actually had a better sleep last night and woke up today saying he felt better.  First time he has said that in weeks. He could speak in sentences without extremely long pauses for word finding, and could do a few simple tasks today. Irritability and anxiety seem a lot better, and he can interact better.  Still very exhausted.  I think the updosing is having an effect, as well as getting the rest of the abilify out of his system.  Now, to just hold for a while and maintain some stability.

[[Ma...]]

Hi Wisconsin Mom - I think you got some great advice on here already.  I updosed a few times and it helped me. He does need to hold to stabilize. Even an updose takes time to build up and work - like even up to 10 days. As a fellow mother, it must be so unbearable to see your son suffer so much and feel so desperate to help him. But please know that you being there and reassuring and helping to find answers is so incredibly helpful. I am in my early 40s and my mom has been my rock thru this. She was there in the worst of it, letting me cry for hrs on her shoulder. She reassured me nonstop and every time, it was like new information and really did help, even for a moment. She would sit by me as I measured my doses. She came to the doctor with me. She read on here too. You ARE doing what you can but no one can magically cure this stupid hellish ridiculous suffering. The only way out is through. My mom took up a day meditation practice and she said that helped her cope with my suffering. She prayed a lot too.

 

I will say, though, that I relied on her heavily for a long time in my decision making about dose, updose, taper stuff. But my best and most successful decisions were the ones I made myself- listening to my body and intuition. I was scared to death and didn’t trust myself but eventually I learned how- with a lot of personal growth work and soul searching. It’s grwat that you’re helping with decisions but only he knows what his body is telling him.

 

And I think a much slower taper is in order. The Ashton method is way too fast for most of us in here. You can see my sig for rates but basically I dropoed 0.25 mg V per month. That’s a common rate I see for sensitive people and I came up with that rate by studying BB for days and calculating rates. Also, I would recommend considering a daily microtaper. Much smoother and takes the guesswork out of this- once you get going. There is a support group for this if you need help.

 

Finally, know he will get better. It is severe- I’ve been there. What kept me alive was my mom and not wanting to leave my young kids mother-less. Outside of that I had no desire to go on at all. But here I am now- almost done tapering and I feel soooo much better. Not 100% but definitely functional. Taking care of my kids, working part time, doing stuff around the house, socializing, short vacations- I’m full of life and enjoying life. It was worth hanging on even in the darkest months. You and he have to accept this and have to accept that the body will heal.

 

That was such a positive post library, thanks so much for writing it 

[[Wi...]]

Thanks to all of you who have helped us out.  So much great advice, and support.  I feel much less lost now, and more positive that there will be a way out of this.  You are all so kind to share your thoughts and your own personal journeys.  Know that is means a lot to hear all of this from people who have been through it.

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Mary- you’re welcome. 

 

Wisconsin mom - another thing. 5mg V is where things get dicier. It’s when you have to slow down the taper. There is a patent on microtaper that even talks about this. You can find it on a quick google search. I just noticed that is what dose your son is at. From 5.4 V to 0.5 V, I dropped abt 0.25V per month. Since I hit 0.5 V, I’ve been going even a bit slower.

 

Not sure if I said this already, but probably best not to start any new meds if there is an option. The less variables you change during the taper, the better. This goes for meds, supplements, diet, activity, etc. some new things can help- for me, meditation and yoga and walking help. I literally used every coping mechanism I could find in this 4+ year journey!

[[de...]]

So happy to hear your son is showing improvement Wisconsin mom.  Such a relief for you both.

 

Dee

[[li...]]

Wow, sorry you are going through this.

 

I had a very bad patch at the end of my taper. I tried a small updose and it did nothing for me. I was bedridden for all of 2018.

 

I had to come to the realization that I just had to hold until things got better. They eventually did and I'm having many normal days now.

 

I agree that this is from Benzo withdrawal. The stuff is nasty. It will make anyone bipolar. Throwing more meds into the mix in my opinion just makes it worse.

 

i hope you find some relief soon. Just know that everyone heals.