Medication Induced Setback Support

[[Ne...]]

KathyM - I responded to your questions and it apparently didn't post.  It was a long reply - sorry. This one is short.  Mental torture is pure hell and the worst with no feelings of joy or pleasure EVER.  I feel like you and I often say I feel 100 years old.  My arms and legs are cement.  Constantly physically fatigued. I can't eat, hypersensitive on all smells and sounds and I'm triggered by everything. I wish miracles of healing for everyone!

[[Ka...]]

Same for you Neverme, feel better very soon..Warrior I hope you are a little better? Wishing you both healing❤

[[Wa...]]

I'm the same.

Sleeping some nights.

Acute during the days and the worst fatigue I've ever felt in my life.

I feel like I'm just rotting away in my room while life is moving on for everyone else in the world.

Just so battle weary and sad.

Trying to dig deep and hang in there.

 

Thinking of you all....

[[Ka...]]

I'm the same.

Sleeping some nights.

Acute during the days and the worst fatigue I've ever felt in my life.

I feel like I'm just rotting away in my room while life is moving on for everyone else in the world.

Just so battle weary and sad.

Trying to dig deep and hang in there.

 

Thinking of you all....

Oh Warrior, you are not alone, i've been rotting away in here for the last 11 months(( well to be completely honest I say that because I've been sick for such a long time, but things are improving definitely, just too slowly, to where I'm so emotionally drained.. this fight feels like it's been going on for too long. I'm sure you are feeling the same.. it's great that we have each other to get confirmation that we are not dying, if it wasn't for bb, i'd be dead by now for sure, going to the doctors every day, getting more pills prescribed.. that's my attempt at being grateful for the day)) how are you doing the last couple of days? what are the main sx that you are dealing with right now? just mental, or lots of physical stuff too? i'm so glad you are seeing some even if little improvements, sending healing vibes

[[Wa...]]

KathyM,

 

I am sorry this has been so long for you. I marvel at your strength to endure.

 

My symptoms are doing weird things like cycling over and over but they are never the same. Each day is completely different and I don't know what I can count on. I've never had that before. Usually it was the same yucky symptoms, lessening around the same time of day and then I'd get really bad symptoms during my monthly cycle.

 

Now, it's a mix of physical and mental torture (feels so ill like I'm dying, depression, SI, feeling psychotic and crazy). Basically, all of the symptoms I had in acute but just cycling. For example, I slept 8 hours solid last night which was a miracle. I woke up super tired but otherwise not awful. I ate breakfast and got immediately sick, then I got tremors and hands shaking. Then came anxiety and DP/DR, then came physically feeling really ill and dizzy and nauseated. This afternoon, it all went away and was replaced with feelings of being crazy and deep depression and SI. That's still going on and I feel like I have bugs crawling all over me.

 

Yesterday was completely different and so were all the other days. It makes no sense and it's terrifying. It's only been two weeks since I last took the antibiotic and everything broke...again.

 

I appreciate you checking in on me. I wish I could be more positive and optimistic but I just can barely, barely stay afloat here.

 

 

[[Ba...]]

Wow, I so relate to this all.

 

UM...  I got the Covid first vac because I am so ill and afraid of getting Covid (tho my exposure is nil...  have lost all friends, see like one person occasionally).  No family.  But it set me back to square one.  Forgot all the suffering since felt so unwell originally.

 

I am better today, but as for vacc. part II, not sure I will get it.  I gather you all have not gotten it?  It is so hard as Covid will wipe you out and can cause probs for the long haul,  yet THIS makes you so sensitive to like everything.

 

Are we just a handful of people?

[[Ka...]]

Hey Warrior, please stay afloat this is such a crazy process... Oh cycling is very typical of this setback by the way, sx constantly changing. And you don't have any 'core' sx that are always with you, do you? I know several people who had sx always changing like yourself, without the ' core' sx like me and they healed pretty fast, I hope it makes sense. I've had almost two layers of sx in this setback, one 'core' layer: extreme crushing " I can't keep my eyes open' type of fatigue, it feels as if somebody hit me on the head with a brick, whole body tightness/feeling heavy, extreme chest/stomack/head pressure especially when I lay down for some reason, those are always with me, but then there's this whole layer of other sx which are very similar to what you describe that are always changing.. were always changing, now the always changing layer is gone for the most part, but the core sx are still here 24/7 pretty much, except fatigue is starting to lift especially during my ' window days'. I'm so glad Im finally able to do a few things on those days. I hope those sx will keep leaving as time goes on.

Oh and feeling more tired after getting enough sleep or after doing any kind of exercise is very typical of this setback too in my experience. My mornings are strangely better than early-mid afternoons, and evenings are a little better too. Prior to this setback I had terrible mornings and things would get easier as day went on, but now I wake up feeling sort of ok, able to get out of bed and do a few things, though the better I sleep the more tired I feel, but then after breakfast, if it's a wave day I have to get back to bed.. It is very strange. So just know that all that you are experiencing right now is very typical of this setback, so please hang on, i'm so sorry you are still sick, but it will get better.

 

Hi Barbara, welcome to our " misery' club :'( Are things starting to improve little by little for you?, or are you still in acute? that's so sad how sensitive we are in this. I hope this is short-lived for you, oh and I did read an article some time ago about Sputnik vaccine that they now have in Eastern Europe that stated that if you have 1st shot of this vaccine you are basically covered about 60% in case of covid encounter, and it's not mandatory to have that 2nd shot right after 3 weeks, you can't have it sooner than 3 weeks, but you can have it later than 3 weeks. The article also went on to say that if you for some reason go on to get that second shot later than the 3 weeks, you end up with even better immunity against covid than if you get it exactly at 3 weeks. I don't know if this applies to Pfizer or Moderna vaccines which I'm assuming you received? Anyways, i'm not the one to give advice since I'm not vaccinated myself and probably won't be any time soon, I did have covid back in November, and I still have antibodies which I'm now grateful for, but I still am staying at home and taking all the precautions, cause I'm just afraid of any bug right now. Please feel better soon, I'm so sorry you are in this too((.

[[Wa...]]

KathyM,

 

Thanks for your response. Yes, I do have core symptoms and they suck. DP/DR, agoraphobia, metabolic and endocrine issues too. Those have been here since the beginning and they are still here although made tons worse again because of this stupid antibiotic.  The rest, or other layer as you describe so well, is cycling and changing constantly from one day to the next.

 

I just hate feeling like the world is still fake and not real. It's as scary now as it ever was. It has gotten better but still here all the time.

 

Thanks for your support.

[[Ka...]]

This is a great friend of mine who is almost fully recovered from an antibiotic setback, took her nine months but she's in a much better place now, here is a link just to give you all hope

[[Ka...]]

Warrior how are you doing? Are you seeing any improvements?

[[Wa...]]

KathyM,

 

I am officially a month out since this absolute nightmare. I sleep some nights, other nights like last night I'm up with feelings of being crazy and psychotic and when I try to sleep, it's light and I have weird, intrusive nightmares. Just like in acute. I can't breathe and I feel sweaty and hot.

 

The other day I felt amazing though, out of nowhere, and had so much hope and then it was all gone. My mental symptoms of SI, depression, feelings of going crazy, are the worst and I don't know how much longer I can handle this. I thought by a month out I would feel better.  I keep thinking something else must be wrong with me but all the doctors I've been to say nothing is wrong.

 

I feel like I'm rotting...wasting away. It's Saturday here, spring time, so pretty outside...and here I am on BB again. I've been off for several days because it just doesn't serve me to ruminate here where there are no answers for me. I know your friends (and I follow her on YouTube also) is better but 9 months??? And she just took one dose. I finished the full course of my AB.

 

I guess these AB's just completely reinjure our poor brains.

 

Anyway, sorry to be negative. I hope you are seeing some improvements in your symptoms.

[[Mi...]]

KathyM,

 

I am officially a month out since this absolute nightmare. I sleep some nights, other nights like last night I'm up with feelings of being crazy and psychotic and when I try to sleep, it's light and I have weird, intrusive nightmares. Just like in acute. I can't breathe and I feel sweaty and hot.

 

The other day I felt amazing though, out of nowhere, and had so much hope and then it was all gone. My mental symptoms of SI, depression, feelings of going crazy, are the worst and I don't know how much longer I can handle this. I thought by a month out I would feel better.  I keep thinking something else must be wrong with me but all the doctors I've been to say nothing is wrong.

 

I feel like I'm rotting...wasting away. It's Saturday here, spring time, so pretty outside...and here I am on BB again. I've been off for several days because it just doesn't serve me to ruminate here where there are no answers for me. I know your friends (and I follow her on YouTube also) is better but 9 months??? And she just took one dose. I finished the full course of my AB.

 

I guess these AB's just completely reinjure our poor brains.

 

Anyway, sorry to be negative. I hope you are seeing some improvements in your symptoms.

 

Warrior,

 

Please hang in there. It sounds as though you had some relief. There will be more.

 

I know I had a flu vaccination setback and yours it an antibiotic. My setback happened Oct 15th. It gradually got better at a slow pace. Even for Thanksgiving and Christmas it was better,  but still rough. I didn't start to see consistent relief until January. 3 months. Now I'm better than I was pre flu shot.

 

Please hang on. Sit out in the beautiful air even if you just have to sit. When I woke up hot and sick in the middle of the night I would just go sit on the porch and cool off outside and try to calm myself.

 

Please hang in there.

[[Ba...]]

Hey Warrior, please stay afloat this is such a crazy process... Oh cycling is very typical of this setback by the way, sx constantly changing. And you don't have any 'core' sx that are always with you, do you? I know several people who had sx always changing like yourself, without the ' core' sx like me and they healed pretty fast, I hope it makes sense. I've had almost two layers of sx in this setback, one 'core' layer: extreme crushing " I can't keep my eyes open' type of fatigue, it feels as if somebody hit me on the head with a brick, whole body tightness/feeling heavy, extreme chest/stomack/head pressure especially when I lay down for some reason, those are always with me, but then there's this whole layer of other sx which are very similar to what you describe that are always changing.. were always changing, now the always changing layer is gone for the most part, but the core sx are still here 24/7 pretty much, except fatigue is starting to lift especially during my ' window days'. I'm so glad Im finally able to do a few things on those days. I hope those sx will keep leaving as time goes on.

Oh and feeling more tired after getting enough sleep or after doing any kind of exercise is very typical of this setback too in my experience. My mornings are strangely better than early-mid afternoons, and evenings are a little better too. Prior to this setback I had terrible mornings and things would get easier as day went on, but now I wake up feeling sort of ok, able to get out of bed and do a few things, though the better I sleep the more tired I feel, but then after breakfast, if it's a wave day I have to get back to bed.. It is very strange. So just know that all that you are experiencing right now is very typical of this setback, so please hang on, i'm so sorry you are still sick, but it will get better.

 

Hi Barbara, welcome to our " misery' club :'( Are things starting to improve little by little for you?, or are you still in acute? that's so sad how sensitive we are in this. I hope this is short-lived for you, oh and I did read an article some time ago about Sputnik vaccine that they now have in Eastern Europe that stated that if you have 1st shot of this vaccine you are basically covered about 60% in case of covid encounter, and it's not mandatory to have that 2nd shot right after 3 weeks, you can't have it sooner than 3 weeks, but you can have it later than 3 weeks. The article also went on to say that if you for some reason go on to get that second shot later than the 3 weeks, you end up with even better immunity against covid than if you get it exactly at 3 weeks. I don't know if this applies to Pfizer or Moderna vaccines which I'm assuming you received? Anyways, i'm not the one to give advice since I'm not vaccinated myself and probably won't be any time soon, I did have covid back in November, and I still have antibodies which I'm now grateful for, but I still am staying at home and taking all the precautions, cause I'm just afraid of any bug right now. Please feel better soon, I'm so sorry you are in this too((.

 

Thanks, Kathy.  I think I am about where I was at time of vaccine, like 2 months + ago.  Well, am more depressed now.   

I read that Pfizer, which I got, protects you 80% with one shot, so that is pretty good.  I guess I will stick with that.

 

Boy, Covid just killed off any chance of recovery for some of us.  My poor social system is totally gone... no life to return to.  Agoraphobia makes me feel like a prisoner tho i try to walk or drive a little bit it is such a battle and not sure it worth it. 

Not feeling encouraged at all.

 

So this is the Misery Club, eh?  I get that.

[[Ka...]]

Warrior, i'm so sorry you are still in the thick of it, these setbacks are awful, but I can see from what you write that you are already making some progress, I didn't see any progress in the first month, I actually kept getting worse for the first 2.5 months, so the fact that you already had a little window in the first month when you felt good is very encouraging. I really hope it means that it won't be very long for you. And it really doesn't matter how much of Abx you took either, just like with benzos, there are people who take one pill of abx or steroids and suffer for 2+ years( that's very rare) and there are those who take a course of abx and end up having a 6 months setback and go right back to normal( this is very frequent), and they actually end up feeling better after the setback resolves than pre-setback.

Another really good thing I believe is that you don't have any physical sx in this setback, just mental ones, they are usually the first ones to leave too, so it should be relatively short-lived for you (I hope). I'm going to send you lots of strength and healing energy. Oh are you taking any vitamins or supplements now to help with your setback or are you trying to avoid everything? I do take vitamin D, 2000 units a day, and feel like it has really helped with depression.

 

Barbara, I'm so sorry you are feeling depressed there, these covid times are really hard on our recovery, even having to wear a mask these days is hard when you are symptomatic, I can't breath in it, and have to take it off every few minutes, or i start going into a bad wave, covid just makes things so much more difficult. I'm very glad your setback from vaccine is resolved though, i think that's great, you are healing, and 80% immunity is good, I hope you'll start seeing more improvements soon yea and the mysery club is no fun, but see there aren't too many people left here, because there are a lot of them who have gone to recover, hopefully it will be us soon).

 

[[Wa...]]

Thank you so much friends, for your words of encouragement. It really means a lot to me.

 

I did take some supplements prior to the setback as I was deficient in iron, D, B12. Never had this pre-benzos. I tried to take the D the other day and I had a huge wave after but it might not have been related but I'm too scared to take it again.

 

During my period two weeks ago, I was full-blown psychotic and that's coming up for me again and I'm terrified. Ironically, my very last period before the AB was the best one I'd had EVER since this started and I was so encouraged.

 

I really appreciate your support as I feel so alone and scared right now.

 

Today and yesterday have been pretty decent though so I am encouraged by that. I do have physical symptoms but they are of the endocrine variety instead of the pain that most others get.

 

Hope you ladies are staying strong and I pray for all of us  :smitten:

[[Ka...]]

Warrior, I can totally relate to the sensitivities, I've had sensitivities in this setback that I never had in my previous withdrawal, luckily it's getting better now, and I'm able to take more things. Oh and the time around my period has been scary for me too, it's also starting to get easier and more manageable. And speaking about endocrine, I wonder what kind of sx you've been having? I've had a lot of issues with hypoglycemia in this setback, it's been really tough actually, in the beginning I had to eat every two hours, now it's more like 3-4 hours, it's also getting better but too slowly....I'm glad that the last couple of days have been more manageable for you, hopefully you'll be seeing lots more improvements soon 

[[Wa...]]

Thank you Kathy. I'm glad you are seeing improvements with your cycle and taking supplements. Slowly but surely.

 

My endocrine stuff cycles weirdly and of course is worse in the mornings. I get low blood sugar but then when I eat, I feel sick too. I think my metabolism is screwed up so anything that has to do with that like eating or being up and active, makes me sweat and feel sick. It resolves but it happens often. That was a lingering symptom that finally left before this setback and now it's back. My temperature is off too.

 

I also gained 20 pounds, my hair fell out, have deep ridges in my nails, red and blotchy skin, and have some weird rash all over. None of this has resolved ever and I never had this issue before. I was about 120 my whole adult life. I ran. I was super active. High metabolism. Could eat whatever I wanted. I kept hoping that this would resolve but it hasn't at all. Makes me sad.

[[Ba...]]

Warrior, have you had your hormones tested to know what is going on... that your cortisol is off, whatever?

 

Do you have autoimmune illnesses?  ( I do... hashimoto's at the least, possible sjogren's).

 

When you say you go psychotic, umm, in what way?  If you are psychotic how would you know you are psychotic... doesn't it mean you don't know what the heck is happening? 

 

[[Wa...]]

Barbara,

 

I have had my hormones tested and believe I am in perimenopause. I get periods every three weeks so that's not fun and throw in benzo symptoms; it's a nightmare. My thyroid is low too but not a diagnosis of Hashi's. The problem is in the solution. I could take hormones but that would be risky given where I'm at.

 

When I say psychosis, I don't mean in the literal sense as in losing all touch with reality. I know who and where I am, I am oriented to person, place and time. I can only say that I feel absolutely crazy and insane but don't have the words to describe what I mean.

[[Mi...]]

Anyways, i'm not the one to give advice since I'm not vaccinated myself and probably won't be any time soon, I did have covid back in November, and I still have antibodies which I'm now grateful for, but I still am staying at home and taking all the precautions, cause I'm just afraid of any bug right now. Please feel better soon, I'm so sorry you are in this too((.

 

KathyM

 

I will not be getting the Covid vaccine anytime soon either because I'm so sensitive and because of what the regular flu vaccine did to me.

 

Luckily I have a life that allows me to stay away from other people 100% until Covid wanes. It's just my husband and I and we both take Covid very very seriously. He works from home. We have not been in a restaurant in over a year. We do all curbside shopping. We don't attend any gatherings and no one comes into our home. We live in a small city of only 1053 people. We are not hermits though. We still get out in nature, walking daily. We where masks, and we stay away from people.

 

Our "foot is on the gas" especially while there is some Covid variant activity in our state as we watch the number of vaccinated people go up and hopefully the covid cases continue to decrease.

 

My husband had his first Pfizer vaccine so far. Even though he is vaccinated he STILL continues to stay away from people and we continue to take it seriously to protect me.

 

I wish there were more people I could talk to who are in our predicament with our sensitivities that are going to wait to take the vaccine. I look for some comraderi with this because I feel like here on the forum on the Covid related boards that I'm an outcast per say. Of course no one is going to encourage someone not to get the Covid vaccine. No one here on benzo buddies, no doctor, no one because we need to get as many people as possible vaccinated. I understand that, but I feel like everyone is getting vaccinated and going on with life and I feel left behind.

 

I know how dangerous Covid is, and if I were to get Covid there's the concern of having a setback from any meds that may be needed to treat Covid. It was a huge decision on my part to delay getting the vaccine until I'm further healed. I mean even if I knew that getting the Covid vaccine would only set me back a month I'd take it in a heartbeat, but that is not the case for me.

 

I am just now feeling recovered from that flu shot. Actually, these last 6 weeks in a row I feel almost totally recovered from the entire benzo withdrawal journey altogether. This after about a 4 month setback from the flu vaccine that I had to dig my way out of.

 

I've actually had people on this forum get nasty with me about not getting the Covid vaccine like I'm an anti vaxer and I am not - obviously as I got the regular flu vaccine. Or they get snippy with me because I have a life that allows me to stay safe and they are working in a job where they are exposed to the public etc. I feel bad for folks who work in this capacity. I'm not heartless, but they also can get the vaccine. I cannot.

 

I've had people admit to me in PM's that because of their sensitivities they will not be getting the Covid vaccine.

 

I know you already had Covid.

 

Anyway, I'm not really even sure what I'm asking for. I guess it helps me to not feel alone knowing that someone else wants to hold off on this vaccine because they are afraid of their sensitivities. As I see people say: "I got my vaccine and I just got a sore arm" on this forum, I am very happy for them, but  I just cry. It's so unfair. I guess i wait for herd immunity or until many more months pass until I may be healed enough to even attempt to take the Covid vaccine.

 

This bothers me on a daily basis. It is ruining my good days, and it is not fair because I can tell that I'm finally healing. I should be enjoying the fact that I'm finally conquering withdrawl. I see the light at the end of the tunnel, but the anxiety of Covid and the vaccine is eating away at me. I cannot believe that we have to put up with a pandemic while in withdrawal, as if withdrawal is not hard enough.

 

I am protecting my healing like a mama bear fiercly protects her cubs. I am not doing anything to screw up my recovery. I'd actually write a success story now if I wasn't med sensitive. I'm that healed.

 

Am I going to have to buy an RV and live in the middle of nowhere for years to come until Covid is eradicated? As crazy as it sounds I would probably do that. I don't want anything to mess with my healing that I've finally obtained. Finally after almost 2 years of suffering and a nasty regular flu shot set back.

 

How do you deal with not getting the Covid vaccine while most everyone around us is getting it?

[[Wa...]]

MissF,

 

I am not getting it either so you are not alone!  I really, really want to! Everyone in my family is getting it and I am jealous!

 

I am so so glad to hear that you are nearly recovered! What an amazing thing to be able to say and especially after your setback. That is wonderful and I am so happy for you!

 

I understand wanting to protect yourself from any side effects and also wanting to go out and just live your life after everything you've been through.

 

If I can get closer to healed and some more time goes by (like another year) and the vaccine will have been around a little longer, I will probably get it. Or at least try one dose. I wonder how protected a person can be with just one dose?

 

Anyway, you are not alone. I am with you on everything you said.

[[Mi...]]

Warror, KathyM, Barbara, and everyone who's having a medication setback -

 

I feel for you. I know how bad this sucks.

 

I wanted you all to see that I did have a setback from the regular flu shot, but I did get through it. I am better now and starting to live life more and more.

 

I know when I was on this group during my own setback, I was looking and desperately seeking those who had a setback and recovered, but just like elsewhere on this forum, unfortunately not everyone comes back to write that they've gotten better. People get better and move on.

 

Well, I'm here to tell you all that I had about a 4 month setback from the regular flu vaccine and I recovered from it. Not only did I recover from it, but I also am now the most healed that I've been for my entire 23 month benzo withdrawal journey. Now, I was not acutely ill for the entire 4 months. It was worse at first and slowly lessened as the weeks passed.

 

That flu shot really fired up my frail CNS. I did get flu like symptoms for a couple days like many do from a flu vaccine, but unfortunately it did not stop there.

 

These are the withdrawal symptoms that returned for me when I got the flu shot:

 

- Vertigo. Vertigo that was gone for 9 months returned with the flu shot. This was one of my most debilitating and consistent symptoms during my withdrawal. Being that it had been gone for a full nine months to have the flu vaccine bring it back was quite the let down. I had trouble walking. I had trouble sleeping. I woke up with the bed about to spin. Just laying down to take a nap, I felt like I was on a boat. It was nauseating.  This symptom is almost 100% gone now. I can still have a tiny bit of it if I'm tired or stressed, but resting for even just an hour or so helps.

 

- Sensitivity to lights, noise and stress returned.

 

- My hypercussis worsened.

 

- High heart rate. This was something that I really did not have in withdrawal prior to the flu shot. It wasn't high 24/7, but it did land me in the ER one day and it stayed at 140 for about 5 hours. I refused any meds at the ER and it came down on it's own.

After that I would get palpitations that were benign, but they worried me. I then had another bout of a high heart rate in January. It went up to 160, but I was able to handle it on my own with relaxation and deep breathing and it was gone in 5 minutes. Just to be sure that all is well with my heart I'm seeing a cardiologist and I'm wearing a 30 DAY Holter monitor right now, but I've had no issues. I don't take any medications for this. I don't need to because my heart is fine. I actually don't take any medications period.

 

- Insomnia. My insomnia returned with the flu shot

 

- Inner tremors at night. My internal tremors returned with the flu shot, but they only lasted about a week or so.

 

- Headaches. I would get a pretty severe headache once a month or so. Motrin gets rid of them in a couple hours. Yep. I can take Motrin without any issue. Somehow I got lucky with that, but I only take about one or two pills a month.

 

- Derealization returned with the flu shot.

 

- One thing that did NOT return that I am so thankful for was the akathasia thank God because I had it BAD at the beginning of withdrawl. I could not sit still, and within the first week of withdrawal I paced.

 

- Always feeling weird & disconnected from everything. This is a symptom that I've had since the beginning of withdrawal. The flu shot brought it on worse. Especially the first few weeks after. But now, I am happy to say that over the last month or 2 I've  had total relief from this symptom. I hate this symptom. Made me always feel "brain damaged." I honestly think this symptom is some "watered down" akathasia. It's not the "I can't sit still/pacing" akathasia, but the mental part. I did not have this all the time 24/7.  It was way worse in acute withdrawal. But, yeah I'm glad it's gone. I have to be pretty tired or stressed for that symptom to return and just resting makes it go away within an hour.

 

- Fatigue. I was still in the extreme fatigue stages when I got the flu shot. It wasn't constant, but it would come out of nowhere.

 

Like I've said before. I was at 18 months and near healed when I had my setback.

 

For me, and this is just my experience. I'm not a doctor. I'm not giving medical advice. This is just my experience. For my entire withdrawal journey I've not taken any medications, nor vitamins, nor supplements. Just the occasional Motrin. I learned the hard way early on that these only made things worse for me. MUCH WORSE. I do not have a history of any psychological issues. I took Ativan to help me sleep after my mother passed away. That's how it all started for me. Anyway, just leaving my brain alone and letting it heal is the best route for me. I never thought I would have such a setback from the flu shot. Especially since I had, had it  pre benzos and had zero issues. I was shocked.

 

Of course now I'm scared of meds. Therefore I exercise by walking 10,000 steps or a half hour EVERYDAY. I eat clean. I avoid all caffiene and alcohol. I try to meditate, but I definitely need to do it more. I'm addicted to being outside in nature. I'm trying to stay as healthy as I can without needing medications. I will definitely never take another psychotropic medication again in my life.

 

So if you've had a setback and you've found your way to this group I'm here to tell you it will get better. I think my situation is a bit extreme. Setbacks don't usually last as long as mine did. Also, there are plenty of folks on benzo buddies who've had flu shots with no issues. I was just not lucky that way.

 

This was my big question for this group and I've really yet to find the answer. How long was it before you could safely take medications again without setbacks? No one ever returns here to

let us know. Also I often wonder if medication setbacks are even that common in withdrawal. I mean if it is wouldn't we see pages and pages of those suffering from it all over the benzo buddie forum??  Maybe people like me who are pretty well into their healing get hit the hardest??? Maybe we notice it more than someone who's still in the thick of withdrawal because their symptoms are still so intense that they don't tie a vaccine, nor a medication, nor a supplement to their uptick in symptoms. Meaning they don't connect A to B. They may just think they're in a bad wave, and they don't attribute it to something they have taken. I don't know. It's hard to say.

 

As for myself. I don't know when I'll be able to safely take meds again. Of course if it becomes life or death I will not have much of a choice, but the plan is to avoid medications as long as possible without endangering myself. Not sure I'll ever get a flu shot again. Hopefully I'll be able to someday. As for the Covid vaccine, you can see how I feel about that in my above reply in this group.

 

Hubby & I feel good enough to partake in some canoeing when warmer days come. We purchased a basketball and a badminton set to enjoy the outdoors. That's a far cry from where I was back in November. I had to hold onto him to walk.

 

Take care of yourself during your setback. Be so so gentle with yourself. You'll get through it.

 

 

 

[[ko...]]

Hello everybody, I’m quite worried and I’m looking for support:

 

I’m over 2 months into a cold turkey from Valium, after researching a bit I decided I’d start Prozac, I used to be on 40mg throughout 2019, so I went on 20mg this time.

 

First day: Okay, a few buzzes of anxiety but not bad.

 

Second day: Something isn’t right, I don’t feel myself, I feel the window closing. Felt anxious, groggy, woke at 5am with a jolt.

 

Third day (right now): Severe anxiety, skimming a panic attack all day, pacing, first signs of paresthesia (ever), nausea, 1000mph racing mind, feel like my body is hot, arm is burning, somehow I feel worse than ever.

 

I’m praying that these symptoms settle again once the Fluoxetine is out of my system, but it has a half life of 4-6 days! I’m working the next 6 days, I can’t have time off, I’ve already had time off for w/d sickness and I need the money to live, I feel like I should walk into an ER at times. I feel very ‘revved up’.

 

:/ I hope I’m not about to spiral into a new pit of despair, below previous pits of despair, I don’t know if I can handle feeling like this and work.

 

 

[[Wa...]]

How is everyone doing?

Not many of us on here now I think...

[[Wo...]]

Hi friends I wonder what sleep issues you all have?