12-18 month support

[[mr...]]

Thank you Peace and Mrs! This wave is slamming me. I feel so much fear and anxiety, and lots of physical "yuck" that hasn't been there to this extent before. I spent the night waking up with cortisol rushes every 30 minutes to an hour. I'm feeling very overwhelmed and frantic right now.

 

My daughter has one or two games left in her volleyball season, and it ends today. If they win the 1st game they will be playing for the 4th place State trophy this afternoon. I HAVE to watch her! I can NOT let this rob me of this experience with my daughter! But I am not sure where I'm going to pull that strength from....I feel so beaten and empty.

 

I'm sorry for the downer post.  :'(

 

Hang loose HH.

 

Remember that panic & anxiety can travel anywhere, despite its ridiculous voice that says "can't". Remember your field trip? You did it ANYWAYS, and it was just peachy! Its all that it is, a feeling. (No worries, I need the reminder too!!!)

 

Oh, and two Doctor's Best Magnesium Glycinate plus 1,000mg vitamin C takes the edge right off In my experiences, anyways

 

You're awesome, girl A mighty warrior! The CNS is still a lil sensitive is all!! Love to you -- you'll do GREAT. Promise. 

 

Mrs.

[[pe...]]

We're here for you, HH. Just do your best and be gentle with yourself. It will pass, maybe not in the perfect timeframe but it will pass.

 

Peace2

[[He...]]

Peace and Mrs, I love you gals! I made it through the game, even though it was crazy intense and the girls lost. Lots of anxiety and emotions, but I made it through. My chest and upper back are crazy tight and I feel exhausted. Unfortunately we are not going home, but staying another night to watch the championship games. Deep breaths...BOOF is right!

 

Beulah, I'm glad you're pulling out of your wave!

 

Hang tough everyone. 

[[No...]]

Hi Folks ...

 

That is the order of the day around my place ... hang tough ...

 

Went down to our market this morning at got slammed with anxiety part way there ... been kind of down hill the rest of the day ...

 

We do the best we can and "hang tough" ...

 

Take Care Everyone ...

 

[[Sk...]]

Hi Folks ...

 

That is the order of the day around my place ... hang tough ...

 

Went down to our market this morning at got slammed with anxiety part way there ... been kind of down hill the rest of the day ...

 

We do the best we can and "hang tough" ...

 

Take Care Everyone ...

 

 

Doing my best to do my share of hanging tough !

 

Today, is my wave day. I am going to start with the magnesium, I don't think it is of any help that I am really scared of taking it. Fear is the enemy, in all things.

 

Healing, I knew you would pull through somehow !

 

HOpe GReen is ok, I haven't seen her in a day or two. Probably a bad wave like all of us.

 

Have a better day everyone.

[[He...]]

Sky, I take magnesium and I think it helps me. I started taking it again about a month ago. I think you will be fine, and remember, you don't have to jump in and take a full dose. Good luck with it!

 

Nova, I'm sorry you got slammed with anxiety yesterday, too. I hope today is a better day for you.

 

My horrible wave from yesterday calmed way down by the afternoon and I felt pretty good again. I also started my period yesterday, so that definitely contributed to my frantic night. I haven't been hit like that before a period for several months.

 

I think the symptom I will be the most relieved to leave is the health anxiety/intrusive thoughts that accompanies my waves. Any weird feelings in my chest and I am quite convinced I'm on the brink of a heart attack. I'll get the "what if" thoughts....what if I am THE ONE who has the chest anxiety and thinks it's a withdrawal symptom but it's NOT??? I probably checked my pulse a hundred times yesterday.  I don't time it, I just need to feel that it is still steadily ticking away in there...lol.

 

I hope you all have a good day today. We'll be traveling back home, about a 3 hour trip.  It'll be good to get home. I have a lot to get done, but it's not causing my anxiety to think about....another big sign of healing. To-do lists used to cause massive anxiety last year. 

 

Healing, healing, healing. It's happening!

[[mr...]]

Hi Folks ...

 

That is the order of the day around my place ... hang tough ...

 

Went down to our market this morning at got slammed with anxiety part way there ... been kind of down hill the rest of the day ...

 

We do the best we can and "hang tough" ...

 

Take Care Everyone ...

 

 

Doing my best to do my share of hanging tough !

 

Today, is my wave day. I am going to start with the magnesium, I don't think it is of any help that I am really scared of taking it. Fear is the enemy, in all things.

 

Healing, I knew you would pull through somehow !

 

HOpe GReen is ok, I haven't seen her in a day or two. Probably a bad wave like all of us.

 

Have a better day everyone.

 

Sky, if this is any consolation to your fears with magnesium...

 

*magnesium is the third most abundant element in the body...so even though you're not aware, you already have it in your body...

 

*magnesium is used in over 300 functions & processes of the body...so even though you're not aware, your body is already using it...

 

*if you've ever eaten:

Nuts & seeds

Dark, leafy greens

Fish

Beans & lentils

Whole grains

Avocados

Low-fat dairy

Bananas

Dried fruit

Dark chocolate

...then even though you weren't aware, you were also consuming some magnesium...

 

So, since this element is already so very present in the body, it means that (unlike medicines or herbs & spices) the body is very "aware" of how to use it properly, and most importantly, how to get rid of what it doesn't need or want. About the "worst" that can happen with magnesium is some runny stools. And this isn't even a "bad" thing -- this happens because magnesium is an "attractor" of water, and because excess magnesium is "extracted" naturally through the intestines! In fact, many articles I've read about magnesium suggest to use this "bowel tolerance" to your advantage, to find the exact dosage that works best for you. You do this by starting with the smallest dose (w/ the Doctor's Best brand, one tablet is 100mg) and working your way up until you experience loose stools. Once you experience loose stools, you go back to the dose right before the loose stools occurred. I will tell you that I never used this "test" because, even when I was taking 1,200mg per day in the "heat" of withdrawal, I did not experience loose stools associated with magnesium!!

 

I will note that, because magnesium is a "water drawer", there are some forms that are specifically designed to have a laxative effect. That is why I mentioned before that the form you purchase matters -- because some forms are not designed to absorb in the digestive tract, but to stay in the intestines to perform a "stool loosening" effect. Magnesium glycinate (the Doctor's Best brand), along with many other amino acid chelated versions, are designed to absorb well, so they should be fine

 

My apologies if I've "lost" you a bit in words here, Sky...I'm just saying all this to say, magnesium is, IMO, one of the most safe and "benign" supplements out there, and that it is nothing to fear (IMO). Even though we take it the same way we take medication (i.e. in pill form, by mouth with water, etc), doesn't mean it carries the same sort of "risks" or possible "effects"...make sense? All "IMO" of course, dear

 

Hope this helps you to feel better about things, Sky Just start "low" (in dose), and move "slow" (in moving up in dose over time), and listen to your body I hope you feel better soon! Take care buddy,

 

Mrs.

[[...]]

Hi Folks ...

 

That is the order of the day around my place ... hang tough ...

 

Went down to our market this morning at got slammed with anxiety part way there ... been kind of down hill the rest of the day ...

 

We do the best we can and "hang tough" ...

 

Take Care Everyone ...

 

 

Doing my best to do my share of hanging tough !

 

Today, is my wave day. I am going to start with the magnesium, I don't think it is of any help that I am really scared of taking it. Fear is the enemy, in all things.

 

Healing, I knew you would pull through somehow !

 

HOpe GReen is ok, I haven't seen her in a day or two. Probably a bad wave like all of us.

 

Have a better day everyone.

 

Sky, if this is any consolation to your fears with magnesium...

 

*magnesium is the third most abundant element in the body...so even though you're not aware, you already have it in your body...

 

*magnesium is used in over 300 functions & processes of the body...so even though you're not aware, your body is already using it...

 

*if you've ever eaten:

Nuts & seeds

Dark, leafy greens

Fish

Beans & lentils

Whole grains

Avocados

Low-fat dairy

Bananas

Dried fruit

Dark chocolate

...then even though you weren't aware, you were also consuming some magnesium...

 

So, since this element is already so very present in the body, it means that (unlike medicines or herbs & spices) the body is very "aware" of how to use it properly, and most importantly, how to get rid of what it doesn't need or want. About the "worst" that can happen with magnesium is some runny stools. And this isn't even a "bad" thing -- this happens because magnesium is an "attractor" of water, and because excess magnesium is "extracted" naturally through the intestines! In fact, many articles I've read about magnesium suggest to use this "bowel tolerance" to your advantage, to find the exact dosage that works best for you. You do this by starting with the smallest dose (w/ the Doctor's Best brand, one tablet is 100mg) and working your way up until you experience loose stools. Once you experience loose stools, you go back to the dose right before the loose stools occurred. I will tell you that I never used this "test" because, even when I was taking 1,200mg per day in the "heat" of withdrawal, I did not experience loose stools associated with magnesium!!

 

I will note that, because magnesium is a "water drawer", there are some forms that are specifically designed to have a laxative effect. That is why I mentioned before that the form you purchase matters -- because some forms are not designed to absorb in the digestive tract, but to stay in the intestines to perform a "stool loosening" effect. Magnesium glycinate (the Doctor's Best brand), along with many other amino acid chelated versions, are designed to absorb well, so they should be fine

 

My apologies if I've "lost" you a bit in words here, Sky...I'm just saying all this to say, magnesium is, IMO, one of the most safe and "benign" supplements out there, and that it is nothing to fear (IMO). Even though we take it the same way we take medication (i.e. in pill form, by mouth with water, etc), doesn't mean it carries the same sort of "risks" or possible "effects"...make sense? All "IMO" of course, dear

 

Hope this helps you to feel better about things, Sky Just start "low" (in dose), and move "slow" (in moving up in dose over time), and listen to your body I hope you feel better soon! Take care buddy,

 

Mrs.

 

 

I agree completely with Mrs, Sky!

 

Additionally, most people are deficient in magnesium and the body will typically flush out any magnesium that the body does not need!

 

You will do great, whatever you decide to do!!

 

[[Sk...]]

Before I forget let my begin by highlighting what HealingHope said :

 

I think the symptom I will be the most relieved to leave is the health anxiety/intrusive thoughts that accompanies my waves.

 

I really agree. I am so tired of sick thoughts, crazy ones, etc.

 

Now, thanks everybody for the suggestions on supplements.

 

My fear is not of loose stools. I spend most of my day in the bathroom anyway, I don't think it will make that much of a difference !!

 

My fear is making my symptoms worse. and the best way for that is to keep thinking about it !

 

So, On the 6-12 thread I posted an update on the topic. I started, let's see how it goes.

 

Hang in there, wd is not for sissies, is it ?

 

 

[[pe...]]

I feel depressed.  Low, low, low. Is this part of recovery?  It sucks.

[[He...]]

I feel depressed.  Low, low, low. Is this part of recovery?  It sucks.

 

I'm sorry you are in that place, Peace! It is definitely part of recovery. I hope this wave passes quickly! You are doing the right things with your exercise and being active. It WILL go away again.

Hugs for you!

[[No...]]

Peace ... it sucks ... its low ... its part of recovery ... you have given a pretty good "snapshot" of where we are sometimes ... and we always come out of it ... you are doing well ... and sometimes we forget that ...

 

Take Care

 

[[No...]]

Good Afternoon ...

 

Had a pretty rough day yesterday ... let up late afternoon ... got some rest ... this morning was okay ... had a walk ... made Sunday breakfast ... made some bread ... made a soup ... set up the slow cooker for chicken stock ... prepped the evening meal ...

 

Some head stuff and gut stuff revving around ... and I am doing okay ... and I forget that I have been very sick for a very long time ... and I certainly do not have the stamina I had years ago right now ... and six months ago just reading today's list of stuff I have done would have sent me over the moon ...

 

So ... re-entry is its own long slog ... chop wood, carry water ... and stir the pots ... and fill the dishwasher ... get through the day ...

 

Michael

 

[[mi...]]

Hi coop....I just wanted you to know that my s/x are still gone....my T is only with me about 2x a week......I hope you see this as I am not sure where to find you these days!!

 

I hope everyone else on this thread gets some reassurance from my healing....I have followed this thread for many mos. and feel that even though I have not communicated with most of you I have read about your struggles...for many mos. you guys helped me get through those many long days and nights of suffering...

 

Thank you for your strength and honesty.....I rarely posted here but I always got encouragement and I felt validated.....you guys are leaving a great thread that will help so many silent readers....

 

You are all are amazing in your strength and stamina.....I may not have experienced all of the s/x some of you have ....but I do know that the s/x from the benzos do go away....

 

I am going to be watching for ALL of your SUCCESS stories... many blessings and hugs to all of you....m...

 

 

[[He...]]

Hi folks,

Today is only a 50% day.  I feel unsettled in many ways: my body has weird sensations and vibrations, I feel very down as though I want to burst into tears, my anxiety is elevated, I even feel fear and discouragement. This is residual from that brutal wave I had 2 nights ago, and also from my period....but it's hard to shake off. I feel like I just want to crawl into bed and stay there for a while.

 

Even though this is such a non-linear recovery process, and I KNOW that, it's hard not to get discouraged by the wild swings.

 

I'm going to go pick up my dog from the border's house and I may just come home and take a nap. That makes me chuckle because I remember writing once that I'll know I am healed when I can take a nap....well I'm not healed yet, but I guess I'm closer than I was back then.

[[pe...]]

HH-

im sorry youre only feeling fifty percent today. I'm having a lonely hard day and I don't know what to do with myself. I have been in bed most of the day sobbing and feeeling crazy. Its so hard after ten plus months to feel this bad. I hope things ease up for you very soon.

 

:'(

[[mr...]]

Hi folks,

Today is only a 50% day.  I feel unsettled in many ways: my body has weird sensations and vibrations, I feel very down as though I want to burst into tears, my anxiety is elevated, I even feel fear and discouragement. This is residual from that brutal wave I had 2 nights ago, and also from my period....but it's hard to shake off. I feel like I just want to crawl into bed and stay there for a while.

 

Even though this is such a non-linear recovery process, and I KNOW that, it's hard not to get discouraged by the wild swings.

 

I'm going to go pick up my dog from the border's house and I may just come home and take a nap. That makes me chuckle because I remember writing once that I'll know I am healed when I can take a nap....well I'm not healed yet, but I guess I'm closer than I was back then.

 

HH,

 

When you get your period, your progesterone and estrogen levels take a drop, and that is what creates the uptick in withdrawal symptoms. IMO, the drop in progesterone especially is what gives us a bit of a kick in the fanny Progesterone has some calming properties to it in the body, so our bodies can definitely miss its presence when its gone! I once researched what could help the body replenish its progesterone levels, and it gave a listing of nutrients & foods we can eat, and I believe magnesium and vitamin C were two of them, if I'm remembering correctly I used to up my dose of magnesium to sometimes double during the week of my period, to help negate the uptick! Worked great too, for me

 

Feel better buddy Its your period, and its withdrawal It'll pass soon! So proud of you -- kicking butt and takin' names at your daughter's v-ball tourney! Take care buddy

 

Mrs.

 

Mrs.

[[He...]]

HH-

im sorry youre only feeling fifty percent today. I'm having a lonely hard day and I don't know what to do with myself. I have been in bed most of the day sobbing and feeeling crazy. Its so hard after ten plus months to feel this bad. I hope things ease up for you very soon.

 

:'(

 

Oh Peace, I'm so very sorry that today has been so brutal!! I am lifting you up in prayer.  I truly believe that going to school tomorrow will help a lot with relieving some of your depression.  Last year I consistently had significantly more trouble during the weekends and vacations with anxiety and depression, and I think it was because I didn't have the distraction of work.  Even on days where I had to FORCE myself to be there and I knew in my soul that I was going to drop down dead, I did better there than if I spent the day in my bed.  The days in bed only seemed to lead to lots of tears, deep depression, and I STILL felt the major anxiety and that I was going to drop down dead. There is something about putting on the "teacher game face" and smiling at the students that is helpful to the process, at least for me. 

 

Hang in there, my friend.  It's a brutally hard process, but we are all getting through it and life will be good again. 

[[He...]]

Hi folks,

Today is only a 50% day.  I feel unsettled in many ways: my body has weird sensations and vibrations, I feel very down as though I want to burst into tears, my anxiety is elevated, I even feel fear and discouragement. This is residual from that brutal wave I had 2 nights ago, and also from my period....but it's hard to shake off. I feel like I just want to crawl into bed and stay there for a while.

 

Even though this is such a non-linear recovery process, and I KNOW that, it's hard not to get discouraged by the wild swings.

 

I'm going to go pick up my dog from the border's house and I may just come home and take a nap. That makes me chuckle because I remember writing once that I'll know I am healed when I can take a nap....well I'm not healed yet, but I guess I'm closer than I was back then.

 

HH,

 

When you get your period, your progesterone and estrogen levels take a drop, and that is what creates the uptick in withdrawal symptoms. IMO, the drop in progesterone especially is what gives us a bit of a kick in the fanny Progesterone has some calming properties to it in the body, so our bodies can definitely miss its presence when its gone! I once researched what could help the body replenish its progesterone levels, and it gave a listing of nutrients & foods we can eat, and I believe magnesium and vitamin C were two of them, if I'm remembering correctly I used to up my dose of magnesium to sometimes double during the week of my period, to help negate the uptick! Worked great too, for me

 

Feel better buddy Its your period, and its withdrawal It'll pass soon! So proud of you -- kicking butt and takin' names at your daughter's v-ball tourney! Take care buddy

 

Mrs.

 

Mrs.

 

Thanks Mrs!  I normally take magnesium and vitamin C, but guess what I  accidentally forgot when I packed for our trip?  I wonder if not taking magnesium for 2 days contributed to this wave.  I don't think it was a cause of the wave, as in the magnesium made me somehow dependent, but I wonder if it has been significantly calming my symptoms.  After reading your posts yesterday, I went to the store and bought a new bottle.  I started feeling better, and certainly slept better, last night after taking it again.  Coincidence?  Not sure, but I think it helps tremendously.  I am still feeling wavy after getting blasted, but I think the magnesium and C will help to calm things down. 

So you double your dose during your period week?  I think I may try that!  Thanks for the tip my friend! 

[[mr...]]

I certainly used to!!! The last period I had was pretty decent actually, so I didn't double it!! (Happy dance!) We'll see for this next one; I will if I feel the desire

 

And, uhh YA!! If I even missed one dose of my magnesium back in the day, I'd feel it for sure!! Let alone be without it for two days I'm sure you'll be back on track soon

 

Glad things are settling! I hope the travel back home was good for you Take care my friend

 

Mrs.

[[He...]]

This wave is hanging on and my fear and health anxiety is really high. 

 

Ugh....

[[mr...]]

This wave is hanging on and my fear and health anxiety is really high. 

 

Ugh....

 

Its your period week and such -- I've had the exact same thing(s) happen with that time of month! Stupid fear -- grr. Its going to go away soon! Promise.

 

Mrs.

[[pe...]]

Hi HH-

I've been here all day. I wish I could say something to convince one of us of something good.... But all I got is being here. In other words, you're not alone. I hope you get relief soon. I think mrs is right on about the hormones. My period just wrapped up and maybe that shift is getting me all frizzled up too. Benzos and hormones. Sorry.  :'(

[[He...]]

Sigh....you guys are absolutely right. It's my period week so my hormones are making it worse.  I went back and reread my handwritten recovery journal and it was good to see my heavy, burning chest and tingling arms have been happening since back in January....and I haven't dropped dead yet. I could also see how often it was and it's much less frequent and intense now. My sleep is much, much better.

It's funny how when a bad wave hits it's so hard to see the positives!

I hope tomorrow is a better day for us all!!  :hug:

[[mr...]]

HH & Peace,

 

My period is next week. So if I need some "pick me up and dust me off", please feel welcome to do so

 

Mrs.