12-18 month support

[[No...]]

How you doing Mrs? ... hope you are having some calm and soothing days ... 

[[No...]]

SoCaler ... walking ... like many other things can be an on again, off again thing ... today I went uptown to walk along the harbour boardwalk ... haven't been there since December ... quiet bus ride down ... not 2 minutes into the walk got gobsmacked with the anxiety stuff, and guts doing loop-de-loops ...

 

After a few choices expressions of "delight" I just kept going ... I always figure if my legs can keep going I will just tag along ... after a while things did settle some and I had a pleasant walk ...

 

This stuff is like eating cracker jacks ... you never know what the "prize" will be ...

[[No...]]

Hey Drew ... you folks get any rain or is it still dry as dust out there? ...

[[Gr...]]

Hi everybody, I am having a hard time writing today, my old problem is back. I am following your posts. Have a nice day, my heart is doing it's thing.

 

Green, happy to hear  about you sleeping ! You went to pay your taxes with a bounce in your step !

 

Speak later,

 

Sky

 

Sky, feel better.  Once I realized what they expected me to pay, I lost my bounce :'(

 

I am so grateful to feel a little better that I really don't care about finances, what I've lost, etc.  I'll figure it out when I get better.  Baylissa lost everything.  house, job, belongings.  she had to start over.  I like what I read here? or somewhere? that when Baylissa healed, she had a spine made of titanium.  really, if we heal from this, get our health back, physical and mental, not much is going to faze us.

[[mr...]]

Hi all,

 

Stopping by to say hi. I'm about 10-14 pages behind in posts, and won't be able to read them all to catch up, so my apologies for being a bit "out of the loop" on things. If you've sent PMs, know that I have received them, and appreciated their messages

 

Today marks five months free. I will say that I am healing, and that I am so very grateful and glad to be benzodiazepine free!

 

Coop, Sky, Green ~ I hope things have eased for you. Thinking of you

 

SoCaler, I hear ya regarding fear/anxiety. Rest assured ~ I never had any issues with fear/anxiety before benzos, and I can relate to what you're saying ~ I say this because I want you to know that I certainly believe that these experiences we have are related to withdrawal. That's not to say that we cannot use these experiences to learn new & good ways to deal with our circumstances - in fact, perhaps it may be the best "college" to attend to learn how to deal with these things, haha! Anyways, I really like what Nova said earlier, & I just posted a reply to; read it, if you choose ~ his words are in bold. I believe that you will be FULLY restored, with nothing "missing" and nothing "broken" ~ and FULLY capable to handle anything that life may bring your way thereafter So for now, just keep focusing on earning your Master's and Doctorate degrees while fully enrolled in "college"... And know that graduation day is inevitable for all who don't quit...

 

5 months free!! Onward we go, brothers and sisters!

 

Mrs.

[[Gr...]]

The mornings are the bad for me too.  Wake up with the fear and all the fun stuff.  I just do my self talk and I know it will pass but every time it feels the same.  I was reading a thread on how many people feel like crap in the morning and the best in the evening.  I am almost normal by 8pm every night unless I do something stupid like read Dr. Google.

 

I had a bad night of sleep.  For some reason I was crazy ass jittery(not anxiety) at bed time.  Slept terribly and was sweating a bunch.  I am pretty sure this has been a warning sign for a migraine but doing my CBT has showed me how many times I have had signs and not got one.  I am 18 days and counting:)

 

Lots of suffering today and I hope that changes for everyone.

 

Drew, I relate, having to positive self talk myself out of bed in the morning, and the sweating I've been having on and off, although that was gone for awhile.  it's all withdrawal, and it's not forever.  just keep on keeping on.  feel better.

[[No...]]

[move]MRS          5 Months Free          [/move]

[[mr...]]

Aww, thanks Nova I surely wish I had more time to post, but I need to return to my work duties Know that I've read your posts, and appreciate you asking about me, & congratulating me! You're swell

 

Mrs.

[[dr...]]

Hey Drew ... you folks get any rain or is it still dry as dust out there? ...

 

Dry as dust. a brief storm last week and it was too hot yesterday.  Felt about 80F

[[So...]]

Thanks Mrs!  I always appreciate your insights. 

[[Ch...]]

Hey Drew ... you folks get any rain or is it still dry as dust out there? ...

 

Dry as dust. a brief storm last week and it was too hot yesterday.  Felt about 80F

 

I read this and checked your profile… yep, California.  It was 80+ yesterday in NoCal where I am.

 

Catching up…you guys are amazing support for one another.  SoCal is not allowed to leave this thread. 

I told him this morning this feels like the 'cusp' thread…you're all on the cusp of positive change.

 

[[dr...]]

Challis...where are you in CA?  I'm 15 min south of SF.  Work in the city.

[[Ch...]]

Challis...where are you in CA?  I'm 15 min south of SF.  Work in the city.

 

Three hours north of SF now.  I grew up in the Mountain View/Los Altos area.

 

I loved going to the city when I lived in the Bay Area.  My parents took us to dim sum restaurants where we were the only Causcasions in the place.  We went to the wharf, Fleishhacker Zoo where my dad 'ark arked' at the seals, the Aquarium where he pretended to hold my youngest brother over the alligator pit.  The old days when there weren't so many rules, right?  Parents could hold their kids over the alligators and people laughed rather than calling the authorities. 

 

 

[[No...]]

Hi Challis ... that's us ... just cusping along ...

 

Hope all you CA folks gets some rain to break your drought ...

[[be...]]

Beulah ... I will trade you some honey for some noodles ... 

 

You got it!! I don't need the noodles ..but I need the honey for my tea.

[[No...]]

Beulah ... you send us on a quest ... we go ... find good things ... and sometimes forget why we are there ... we try ... we are very trying ... 

[[be...]]

Hey Drew ... you folks get any rain or is it still dry as dust out there? ...

 

Dry as dust. a brief storm last week and it was too hot yesterday.  Felt about 80F

 

I read this and checked your profile… yep, California.  It was 80+ yesterday in NoCal where I am.

 

Catching up…you guys are amazing support for one another.  SoCal is not allowed to leave this thread. 

I told him this morning this feels like the 'cusp' thread…you're all on the cusp of positive change.

 

 

Yep, this is our little cyber hideout.   Come on in...put your feet up. A lot of good people on here.

 

[[Ch...]]

Hey Drew ... you folks get any rain or is it still dry as dust out there? ...

 

Dry as dust. a brief storm last week and it was too hot yesterday.  Felt about 80F

 

I read this and checked your profile… yep, California.  It was 80+ yesterday in NoCal where I am.

 

Catching up…you guys are amazing support for one another.  SoCal is not allowed to leave this thread. 

I told him this morning this feels like the 'cusp' thread…you're all on the cusp of positive change.

 

 

Yep, this is our little cyber hideout.   Come on in...put your feet up. A lot of good people on here.

 

I see that.  This thread is as comfy as an old pair of blue jeans…a safe haven.  Glad you've found one another.  That's what this place is all about.

 

[[Co...]]

Challis....I so needed to hear your words.. it made me cry to think I might be getting out of this. I almost reinstated in this wave..  it was the buddies here and there support that kept me steady in my commitment to w/d. I had never taken a benzo in my life.  Amazing what it can do to you.

...You are right... wonderful beautiful compassionate people here.  Nova stayed up all night with me a few months ago in a horrible 2 day panic/anxiety attack...We have been traveling together from month 6...a few of us a little longer.  I o ly have 1 or 2 friends like this in my real time life..  how fortunate we are to have each other.. .thank you so much for sending us the uplifting words today....So happy for your complete recovery......coop

[[So...]]

Came home early from work. On the couch watching a Disney movie about a zebra who becomes a race horse With my 10 year old daughter.

 

Just trying to distract.  😆

[[...]]

Hey JRod....you and I are about in the same time frame. I am a week into month 17 and have the same issues as you describe, in fact my anxiety seems especially vicious right now ...when it hits it's terrible and relentless...but I am getting some breaks from it somewhere along the day...

    I  also getting my mind open to the 2 year space...10 months, 18 months or 24 months...it's all just healing...we will all get there ...at least we have come a good deal more than half way....hope you get a few more windows to keep you encouraged....coop

 

Thx Coop

Sorry your back in it as well. It's truly disappointing being incarcerated in what seems to be an eternity in this recovery process and still have no idea of a release date.

But you've had great windows which is very encouraging.

 

Take care

[[Co...]]

Drew, ...the jitters.  like 6 double espressos...do you get the shakes with them too?.  You and Green get the sweats...I freeze like I am buried in one of Nova's glaciers. 

.....Today I only had about 20 minutes of jitters and shakes...definite improvement.  ..They are w/d ( imo)...they will pass....I am crossing my fingers that you do not get a migraine....18 days is a good run...Did you ever get to eat your yummy dinner last night?....hope you had a better afternoon today....coop

[[Co...]]

Drew,....I am ordering you to leave Dr. Google....he's a mortician in disguise....A great book to read besides Recovery and Renewal is The Benzo Book ...can't remember the author, but you can look it up on Amazon...I read it early on and it helped me alot....coop

[[dr...]]

Coop-I perused the benzo book I think awhile back

 

No migraine yet but I do have a headache.  I'm drinking a bit of coffee and going to meditate now.  Caffeine n meditation lol. 

[[Co...]]

Nova...the uptown funk....sorry that happened to you...I remember a few months ago that happened to you and you had to turn around and come back. I don't think I am as strong as you in the face of an anxiety attack...I have to head for home and my bed, but I am starting my yoga class again on June 1st....have to work on bravery between now and then. Could you send one of your glaciers over to Green and Drew...they are sweating to the w/d song. ....Hope the rest of your day was sunny...walking to the sea wall...what a lovely image.....coop