6-12 month thread....

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I'm in a middle zone between feeling really ill and really good. 

 

I have a pretty wacky heart rhythm.  very excitable. 

 

My sleep has been poor the last few days.  We are trying to cure my toddler from his co-sleeping dependency so that's creating for some 'commotion' in  the middle of the night.

 

Still living the dream. 

 

Ramping up for my big graduation into the 12-18 month club.   

[[MT...]]

It won't be long Geek. Maybe we can make that thread more active when you get there.

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So yesterday I force myself to pace and walk for about 6 hours still has a lot of nerve pain and back pain but managed to get 6 hours of exercise that way today extreme extreme weakness and shaking.  I hate this my whole body is weak and I look at the bed and cringe I don't want to go back into bed all day trying to somehow function and live a life some kind of life even if it's walking in my backyard for hours.  seems like this extreme weakness and shaking is been the last 3 months anyone else

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[quo te author=sofakingdone link=topic=107505.msg1992026#msg1992026 date=1452199984]

Ddd,

 

I've read many stories on BB about "left sided" symptoms that eventually move to the right side, then vanish.  It is encouraging that you already have noticed the shift.

 

I know you're having a rough time, Ddd, but it gets better after the first year.

 

Love, Sofa

 

Thank You Sofa for your encouragement.  it's just that I've had full mobility of my right and now it to be hindered makes it hard to much at all

[[Sa...]]

Ddd,

 

My left side has always been weaker than my left from eye to toe.  Having said that during tolerance and withdrawal i would sweat profusely under my left arm pit only.  Then months ago that shifted to the right side and then to both sides.

when in a catatonic state i was unable to move left side and i would have to think to put one foot in front of the other or use my left hand to brush my teeth which by the way i wasn't able to brush my teeth for longer than i care to say.

 

Ddd, i know you'll want to kill me when i say this is a good sign.  You are following in the same pattern as me and many here.  When you feel that you can't use your body parts that is presicely when your brain is getting back to work.  It is connecting to your organs after being doused with benzine.  It actually won't take long before you'll see that you have all you coordination back again. 

Its calibration of its own kind.

Yes its scary but its good news.  Trust in the experiences of others here,  Its all about to turn around.

 

 

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Ddd,

 

My left side has always been weaker than my left from eye to toe.  Having said that during tolerance and withdrawal i would sweat profusely under my left arm pit only.  Then months ago that shifted to the right side and then to both sides.

when in a catatonic state i was unable to move left side and i would have to think to put one foot in front of the other or use my left hand to brush my teeth which by the way i wasn't able to brush my teeth for longer than i care to say.

 

Ddd, i know you'll want to kill me when i say this is a good sign.  You are following in the same pattern as me and many here.  When you feel that you can't use your body parts that is presicely when your brain is getting back to work.  It is connecting to your organs after being doused with benzine.  It actually won't take long before you'll see that you have all you coordination back again. 

Its calibration of its own kind.

Yes its scary but its good news.  Trust in the experiences of others here,  Its all about to turn around.

 

Saraa-  I always love hearing back from you you call me down and calm my mind I'm actually going through pretty hard wave right now.  woke up and my head feels really like it wants to explode kind of heavy inside pulling any decide inside hard to explain extreme weakness and shaking in my pain is coming in pretty hard today.  just really tough when you have so many symptoms on top of each other and try to deal but I'm trying to stay positive as I go into my love this month next week sorry my phone and stuff my eleventh month next week.  I know most people don't see real improvements until after the one year mark just hoping this wave doesn't last as long back in bed today I actually was able to walk or pace 4/6 hours yesterday more like shuffling but I'll call it walking thank you for your post and encouragement god bless you

[[Ki...]]

I feel nonstop depressed. I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I have thyroid issue, my tsh is normal but tpo is 1500. Idiots are telling me that this is ok

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I feel nonstop depressed. I don't know what to do anymore. Maybe I have thyroid issue, my tsh is normal but tpo is 1500. Idiots are telling me that this is ok

 

Hey kinia

 

from the mayo clinic website regarding tpo antibodies:

"Moderately increased levels of thyroperoxidase (TPO) antibodies may be found in patients with nonthyroid autoimmune disease such as pernicious anemia, type I diabetes, or other disorders that activate the immune system."

 

 

I have no doubt that the stress on our bodies during withdrawal can activate our immune system in ways we don't fully understand.

 

I was convinced, before I figured out I was sick from tolerance/interdose withdrawal, that I had a thyroid issue. specifically hyperthyroid for me.  I had perfect tsh/t3/t4/ft3/ft4 numbers.  I became obsessed with the idea because I ended up having good thyroid hormone levels, but I also had moderate amounts of Anti-thyroglobulin and something else.  maybe it was tpo, but I'd have to check.

 

I showed these numbers to an endocrinologist in a teaching hospital and he said you can pull random blood samples from everyone in this department and half of them will register low/moderate antibodies of some form or another. 

 

There is a thread on these forums regarding thyroid problems and benzo withdrawal.  In the thread it was suggested that the stress of withdrawal can trigger thyroid issues in some people.  I asked in that thread if the physical stress of withdrawal was enough to activate my immune system enough to register  antibodies and the answer I got back was, probably.

 

I have tried to forget those numbers for now.  I continue to slowly improve over time.  My antibody tests were done over a year ago.  In another few months I will have the anti body tests done again.  If they come back the same or better I'm not gonna worry about it as presumably I'll have a better baseline at that point.  If they come back even more elevated AND I'm feeling worse then I may consider chasing it more.

 

Depression is a common symptom of withdrawal.  It sucks the life out of you.  I've had some severe depressive episodes during my withdrawal and healing.  Luckily not all the time.  I know it is hard to stay positive but we gotta keep holding on.

 

What's the Ashton manual say about depression?

 

 

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Yesterday was tough had internal shaking where my head took to the bottom of my feet woke up today tremely weak shaky nerve pain from my butt all the way down to my feet and for another bad day 12th of this month will be 11 month

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dd

 

The internal vibration is one of the symptoms I have a hard time wrapping my head around.  I get this if I've gone 1 or 2 nights with no sleep. 

 

I'd love an explanation as to what's happening in our body to make this happen.

[[re...]]

Still here, after going through another stressful mental wave combo cycle.

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[qu ote author=g33k link=topic=107505.msg1993340#msg1993340 date=1452347382]

dd

 

The internal vibration is one of the symptoms I have a hard time wrapping my head around.  I get this if I've gone 1 or 2 nights with no sleep. 

 

I'd love an explanation as to what's happening in our body to make this happen.

 

Add extreme weakness and shaking  I can't believe I'm suffering so bad at 11 months barely able to function nerve pain is a 10 to 12 today

[[Sa...]]

Ddd,

 

I've noticed the inner vibrations also has to do with what i eat almost immidiately after i eat too. 

 

One thing i read from the clair weaks book resinated with me.  She said that those of us who are bewildered at our bodily symptoms have a harder time getting over the waves or panic.  She said to take out the "bewilderement" out of the equation, accept what is going on and moreover to accept/believe that this will be over

 

So Ddd, i know you must be like me a logical person who wants to make sense of things and find out why and how etc. In this case just park your brain as far as "wrapping your brain around it" as you say.  Just for now.  Its an added stress that you don't need.  You probably say i would if i could, but just trust this time.  One more time trust in the people's experiences the Vibrations will ease and you will get all your bodily functions back, moving around even skipping soon and yes using your arms to go across the monkey bars. 

 

Don't be horrified that this is going on at 11 months, as far as how bad it is it can be the first month.  It is the nature of how the brain heals, which doesn't make any sense.  So please don't try to make sense of it.  Let it do what its doing and don't panic about it.  Its the last recalibration & boy is it intense, i know.

 

Love u Ddd, 

saraa

 

[[Sa...]]

Hi everyone,

 

Just a glimpse of what could be hope for others to read here.

Less than a month ago, i think it was less than a month ago, i was a veg. I have been up for few weeks now and today got in the car with dog, family memeber and another family member in their own car and came up to L.A to spend a couple days.  I brought all different specailty foods for each person.  My dogs food, mine, family members etc, packing, loading the car etc being in another's house and just having fun and enjoying the long drive etc.

I have been driving again after my bout but this is on a new level.  Lots of physical moving about of cases and stuff where i was unable to even talk not long ago.

 

Please please hang in there.  If change came to me, a nightmare of cold turkey, then it will come to you too.  It is what it is.  Not worth giving it a thought as it will do what it wants when it wants . 

 

BUT IT ALWAYS PASSES TILL ITS DONE.  In My case with the exception, boy what an exception, of a huge set back at 9.5 much worse than in acute(first couple of weeks) it has taught me that hellish symptoms are sign of recalibration and healing.

 

Your CNS is working hard to connect to your organs as we speak.

Love and hugs to all my fellow travelers.

 

I am happy, content and hopeful for sure.

 

[[He...]]

Sara, you give everyone such hope.  Thank you so much for your post!  So good to hear you are doing wonderfully!

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Ddd,

 

I've noticed the inner vibrations also has to do with what i eat almost immidiately after i eat too. 

 

One thing i read from the clair weaks book resinated with me.  She said that those of us who are bewildered at our bodily symptoms have a harder time getting over the waves or panic.  She said to take out the "bewilderement" out of the equation, accept what is going on and moreover to accept/believe that this will be over

 

So Ddd, i know you must be like me a logical person who wants to make sense of things and find out why and how etc. In this case just park your brain as far as "wrapping your brain around it" as you say.  Just for now.  Its an added stress that you don't need.  You probably say i would if i could, but just trust this time.  One more time trust in the people's experiences the Vibrations will ease and you will get all your bodily functions back, moving around even skipping soon and yes using your arms to go across the monkey bars. 

 

Don't be horrified that this is going on at 11 months, as far as how bad it is it can be the first month.  It is the nature of how the brain heals, which doesn't make any sense.  So please don't try to make sense of it.  Let it do what its doing and don't panic about it.  Its the last recalibration & boy is it intense, i know.

 

Love u Ddd, 

saraa

 

Saraa  I understand what's going on but mostly I just try to make sure that what's going on with me is normal and other people have gone to it and are better.  as always thanks for your reassurances you're an awesome individual and I pray that soon you wake up in this is done for you.

lots of love DDD

[[Sa...]]

Hi, Just wanted to wish all a good Morning on the 6-12 klub.

[[so...]]

Saraa,

 

Hope today finds you still on the upswing.

 

Love, Sofa

[[MT...]]

Having one of those, "I can't do this. Ahhhhhh" days. Fortunately I have lots of experience with my Chicken Little internal voice that wants to run screaming out of myself. Since I haven't figured out how to actually get away, I suppose I'll get through this day like all of the others I've felt this. Isn't it amazing what we can endure and not go insane? Well maybe, not *totally* insane. I hope you're all having good days with hope and sunshine.

[[Sa...]]

Thanks, Sofa

 

I am doing well, thanks and yes upswing it is. 

Blurry very blurry but i don't care and am very active and hope this is the case with you too.

 

MT,

you've been there or here before, you know it passes, I love your attitude and that's what will take you across the finish line.

 

 

[[MT...]]

Saraa, glad you're continuing to do well. It's encouraging.

 

Upswings ahead for all of us!

[[do...]]

Hello everyone!  I have been off of klonopin since March 12th, 2015.  This is the 4th time I have quit klonopin.  I also quit my antidepressant on September 30th, 2015  I had been doing great but last week got hit with delayed onset withdrawals to include horrible insomnia.  I went to a naturopath and she suggested L theanine and Taurine.  I think they both affect gaba.  Is it ok this far out to take these supplements?  Anyone use inositol?  I have posted in the alternative group but haven't really gotten an answer.  Thanks in advance

[[Sa...]]

Sara, you give everyone such hope.  Thank you so much for your post!  So good to hear you are doing wonderfully!

 

 

Herckie,

 

Thank you for the kind words.  I am very vocal, the good and the bad and am so happy the good is some what of a hope for others.  I did my more than fair share of begging for help here when things were bad.

 

Herckie, i am glad the week has started and hence less difficult weekdays as opposed to your struggles on the weekends.  I know you want to be have this thing be finished already and it will soon.  Just maybe a little bit longer and then you'll be done.

 

Keep up the good work.  You are amazing with working and exercising and always so generous with your love and support here. 

Thinking of you

[[Be...]]

Hello everyone!  I have been off of klonopin since March 12th, 2015.  This is the 4th time I have quit klonopin.  I also quit my antidepressant on September 30th, 2015  I had been doing great but last week got hit with delayed onset withdrawals to include horrible insomnia.  I went to a naturopath and she suggested L theanine and Taurine.  I think they both affect gaba.  Is it ok this far out to take these supplements?  Anyone use inositol?  I have posted in the alternative group but haven't really gotten an answer.  Thanks in advance

 

I know there's a thread just for inositol. As always, mixed results. Check it out.

[[He...]]

Sara, you give everyone such hope.  Thank you so much for your post!  So good to hear you are doing wonderfully!

 

 

Herckie,

 

Thank you for the kind words.  I am very vocal, the good and the bad and am so happy the good is some what of a hope for others.  I did my more than fair share of begging for help here when things were bad.

 

Herckie, i am glad the week has started and hence less difficult weekdays as opposed to your struggles on the weekends.  I know you want to be have this thing be finished already and it will soon.  Just maybe a little bit longer and then you'll be done.

 

Keep up the good work.  You are amazing with working and exercising and always so generous with your love and support here. 

Thinking of you

 

Sara, you are just awesome.  What a nice post and reading it made my day.  Yes, I'm still struggling, but can honestly say that things are slightly improving the farther out I get.  It has been hard for me to post lately, but I sure didn't want to go without thanking you for your wonderful post.  You are an inspiration.  You sounds so happy!  Did the anxiety and depression just clear up one day or was it gradual?  I think I am at the point where I need to push myself more and not wait around for time to pass.  I know we will all get there eventually!