6-12 month thread....

[[He...]]

Life and Drew, how wonderful to hear!! I am happy that you are both feeling so good! Thank you for reporting your news. It lifts my currently wavy and discouraged spirit tonight.

 

[[He...]]

I posted on the other thread, but I'm feeling like I need the comfort of this one tonight. This current wave is filling me with anxiety and fear.  I feel like a small, scared, sad, sick child. 

 

Who has the magic wand? I'm ready to be done with this now.   

 

 

[[No...]]

HealingHope ... I know the "I am ready to be done with this now" ... sorry to hear your are back in the "sick" right now ... we know this will pass ... and it is discouraging to be bouncing back and forth like this ...

 

Hope you are getting some rest ...

 

[[No...]]

Good news Drew and Life ... always helps to hear that others are healing ... and productive ... getting ourselves back is the gift of our recovery ...

[[Sk...]]

Drew, Life let me just say one thing :    :oXo: :clap:

 

But Mrs, said it better !

 

Thanks for taking the time to post your update, it means a lot.

 

PEace, how are things today ? Now you are at school, who knows when you will read this.

[[pe...]]

Sky- I am not at school. I am home in bed, seeing what 'things' look like from here. I will go back to school tomorrow, probably. I am 'sick' here or there. I don't think one is 'better' than the other. Maybe school is a little better since I'm not so focused on myself and the time goes quickly.

 

How are you?

[[...]]

Hi all!

 

Peace have you felt improvement at all? I hope you have!

 

Hoping everyone is doing well!

 

[[pe...]]

Hi GMIT-

Somethings are 'better' and some things are 'worse'. It's very confusing and exhausting. It's so strange to sit in my empty and quiet house with my symptoms. I usually have my students or my sons running around to distract me. When I sit with it, I just feel ill. I feel heavy with a lot of pressure and tension on the right side of my head, neck, and ear. My mind feels sad and fuzzy, but it's not dr. I have really loud tinnitus. I'm just exhausted from the whole go round, but there's nothing more to be done.

 

I sure hope we get some major relief soon. It is hard to have 'done' this much time and still be in the soup.

How are you doing, GMIT?

 

And Nova, I'm not sure which thread you posted it on, but I'm glad you've scheduled your biopsy and will get that all taken care of. That's an act of healing and bravery as far as I'm concerned, going through such a procedure. I hope you're having a peaceful day.

 

I'm at home, sitting at my dining room table surrounded by the year's first snowfall.

[[...]]

I'm doing ok! Could be better, feeling exhausted, but not the horrid negative feelings I had for so long thank goodness!

 

Guess this helps you to see what working does for you!

 

I hope you feel better!

 

[[Lo...]]

Hi GMIT-

Somethings are 'better' and some things are 'worse'. It's very confusing and exhausting. It's so strange to sit in my empty and quiet house with my symptoms. I usually have my students or my sons running around to distract me. When I sit with it, I just feel ill. I feel heavy with a lot of pressure and tension on the right side of my head, neck, and ear. My mind feels sad and fuzzy, but it's not dr. I have really loud tinnitus. I'm just exhausted from the whole go round, but there's nothing more to be done.

 

I sure hope we get some major relief soon. It is hard to have 'done' this much time and still be in the soup.

How are you doing, GMIT?

 

And Nova, I'm not sure which thread you posted it on, but I'm glad you've scheduled your biopsy and will get that all taken care of. That's an act of healing and bravery as far as I'm concerned, going through such a procedure. I hope you're having a peaceful day.

 

I'm at home, sitting at my dining room table surrounded by the year's first snowfall.

 

Hi Peace2...the right side of my head, inner ear, etc is my worst enemy too. You're not alone :-( praying for you...and wow! It's snowing? It's going to be a cold winter. Feel better my dear.

 

Nova you're brave indeed, praying your biopsy is benign. It's hard to deal with other medical things and benzo w/d (trust me I know).

 

Hi GMIT!

 

Praying we all have a peaceful day today.

[[...]]

LM, sorry you are having those issues!

 

Here's hopng everyone feels Better!

 

[[No...]]

Peace ... and others if it applies ... I have found some relief on occasion from the head pressure by applying arnica cream from just behind my ears, down the back of the neck and just to the shoulder blades ... seems to help release some muscle tension that for me does drive some head pressure sometimes ...

 

Just a thought ...

 

[[pe...]]

I am really suffering. I don't know what the hell is going on?!? I feel like a crazy person with no way out. I know I've felt better than this, so this must be a wave.  But it feels permanent and hellacious. I feel like others got waves when passing into month 11. It would be helpful to hear from them now….

 

Hanging on with white knuckles, again.

[[Lo...]]

Peace ... and others if it applies ... I have found some relief on occasion from the head pressure by applying arnica cream from just behind my ears, down the back of the neck and just to the shoulder blades ... seems to help release some muscle tension that for me does drive some head pressure sometimes ...

 

Just a thought ...

 

 

I love Arnica cream and gel...I'm going to have to buy some! Thanks for the idea.

[[He...]]

I am really suffering. I don't know what the hell is going on?!? I feel like a crazy person with no way out. I know I've felt better than this, so this must be a wave.  But it feels permanent and hellacious. I feel like others got waves when passing into month 11. It would be helpful to hear from them now….

Hanging on with white knuckles, again.

 

HUGE waves, Peace.  Shoot, I'm still getting them, though MUCH less frequent, into month 16.  It's just a stupid wave....NOT you, nothing permanent....just a stupid wave. 

Hang in there.  It will get better.  You can do this, you are incredibly strong. 

[[pe...]]

Thanks, HH.

I'm hearing weird things today, which is unusual to my healing process. I feel like a get little snippets of radio or conversations in my brain. It's very scary and I don't like it. I've read about other people in recovery having this symptom too, but it certainly ramps up my crazy feelings.  :'(

 

I hope your wave is fading out. I'm going to try try try to plan some lessons for the week and go to school tomorrow. Praying the distraction will help snap me out of this spiral.

 

[[No...]]

Peace ... within my tinnitus sometimes I think I am hearing a radio station ... quite crazy making ... this is all going to lighten up again ... these waves are very hard ... and disappointing ...

 

Hang in there ...

[[pe...]]

Thanks, Nova. My tinnitus is through the roof and I think it lends to an environment of sound distortion. Hanging on. 

[[...]]

Peace, I've always had the tinnitus!  it's the dumb reason I was put on benzos!

 

Sending you hugs! 

 

[[pe...]]

Hi GMIT-

Sorry you've had to deal with tinnitus for so long. Mine comes and goes and is currently ringing loudly. Can you hear it from here? I wouldn't be surprised! How silly that they gave you benzos for tinnitus. I hope you've been able to find some relief or good way of dealing with it. I'm going to put on some positive affirmations and try to drown it out.

[[sa...]]

Peace, hang in there. Month 10 & 11 I had the worst waves of the entire w/d. I'm two weeks into month 12 and my worst symptom; severe nausea is gone -- just gone. Two weeks now that I have not had to throw up. I've been able to eat and my weight has stabilized. I now love food again. Woo...hooo

 

I still have some tinnitus and some fear/anxiety, but it is much less. Like the distant rumble of a thunderstorm far far away. I swear these nasty late month waves are the ones that heal you. I've had 4 full windows in the past 10 days. I can feel myself getting better by the day now. Energy coming back etc...

 

Now a wave is just louder tinnitus, which I can handle much better than the nausea. I'm even thinking of going back to work soon, now that I don't have to worry about getting sick. We are getting closer to healed. Hang in there folks!

[[pe...]]

Hey Sasquatch-

Thanks. I'm glad you're seeing some relief. I just can't believe this and the toll it's taking on everything. It's hard for me to just let the time pass and believe it will get better this far out. I feel this desperation to do something. But what? Ect? More drugs? I just feel doomed, but I hold on because there's nothing else to do.

[[He...]]

Thanks, HH.

I'm hearing weird things today, which is unusual to my healing process. I feel like a get little snippets of radio or conversations in my brain. It's very scary and I don't like it. I've read about other people in recovery having this symptom too, but it certainly ramps up my crazy feelings.  :'(

 

I hope your wave is fading out. I'm going to try try try to plan some lessons for the week and go to school tomorrow. Praying the distraction will help snap me out of this spiral.

 

I think getting into the classroom will do you a world of good.  Tinnitis is a symptom that I have not had to deal with (knock on wood!) but I've definitely read about others with the symptoms of hearing things through it.  It would be very scary and would certainly do a number on my anxiety! 

 

The thing I hate so much about the waves is they cause me to not trust my body.  When I'm in one I ALWAYS question my healing....am I getting worse?  Am I finally going crazy??  Will this ever end???  But the thing is, we all tend to feel this way and we ALL heal.  It's fascinating to me how similar our symptoms and patterns and thought processes are.  There are variances here or there, but the overall picture is so very, very similar. 

 

You will get back to the good days, I promise you!  Today, as bad as it sucked, is one more day of healing away from the poison and one more day closer to being 100%. 

 

My wave is fading out and I had a pretty good day today.  Hugs to you!

[[pe...]]

HH-

Does depression ever ring your bell? I am not darkly suicidal, been there done that. But it's this depression that fades in and out that has me worked up. I hate the way it feels and it leaves me thinking I must need an antidepressant to get through it. I know it's not a good option, but I just get to feeling so desperate.

 

Headed back to class tomorrow.

Glad your wave is on its way out.

[[He...]]

HH-

Does depression ever ring your bell? I am not darkly suicidal, been there done that. But it's this depression that fades in and out that has me worked up. I hate the way it feels and it leaves me thinking I must need an antidepressant to get through it. I know it's not a good option, but I just get to feeling so desperate.

 

Headed back to class tomorrow.

Glad your wave is on its way out.

 

Yes it has on occasion.  It's miserable when it rears its ugly head!  I don't think that an antidepressant is a great option unless absolutely necessary.  You have been having more windows and have been doing better in the classroom....I think you are on the right path. 

 

Do you take supplements?  I am on Vit D, magnesium, and Vit C.  I believe they have helped me tremendously the past 4 months or so.