[wh...] Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Nova what you wrote earlier was beautiful. You are talented my friend. I don't know how you guys do that quote thingy...... I'm up and down today but relaxing....It's a beautiful fall day here in Saskatchewan... Hope you all are having the best day possible. Hugs I wish for all of us to have a peaceful; restorative sleep tonight. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[wh...] Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 This is the link to the article about Benzo withdrawal in the Boston Post: Validation at least. http://www.bostonglobe.com/lifestyle/health-wellness/2014/09/07/when-withdrawal-hardest-part/nyWtjexiyOWSpU1TkloVnK/story.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[...] Posted September 20, 2014 Share Posted September 20, 2014 Thx Green, Jenny Still dealing with flu. Coughing all night long so not much sleep this week. Last few days anxiety with some lighter depression. No mater how familiar we are with window/wave pattern ,for me the next wave gets more & more disappointing & difficult. Just feel so taxed. Although hardly noticeable Overall I do feel there has been not much but some easing in overall sx. Strange making this statement when I today I've dealt with anxiety ,intrusive thoughts as well as depression. I wish all a speedy recovery, jrod Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[je...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Great article whoot thank you! Jrod-- hope you feel better soon! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Gr...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Green ... I had a very nice morning ... and things turned this afternoon ... the head stuff and gut stuff and nerves firing and breathing ... a pretty good slam ... I hope you are having a "quiet" day ... Don't know if I even feel like eating ... will watch the Ken Burns episode of Roosevelt ... good distraction for me later this evening ... Yes, Nova, thankfully it's been quiet. For that I'm grateful. I'm hoping the afternoon stuff turns around for you, I know that slam very well. Thanks for reminding me about Roosevelt. Enjoy your evening. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Gr...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Yes, Whoot, thanks for that article. And, Jrod, feel better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[pe...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Biked with my older son to the ice cream store, had serious dr the whole time. Came home and had an hour or so of rest before heading to the neighbors for dinner. Three little boys running through a house, lots of action. I had some overstimulation, but did pretty well. Feels like a sun break. Really intense sx then really light ones in the same day. These breaks are amazing, the cycling has me on edge. Peace2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[He...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Hi Buddies, Whew...this has been the Week of the Wave! UGH. I got a very uncomfortable infection in my eye, which led me to have to use eye drops with an antibiotic and a steroid. I have been fighting off a head cold. I have to wear my glasses, rather than my contacts, and they are old and give me a headache. I'm on my period. AND I have a huge field trip on Monday that I am really worried about. The perfect storm to set up a HUGE wave. Last night my husband and I were out to dinner with friends and, after my anxiety kept rising, I all of a sudden felt like I was going to throw up. Such a wave of nausea. We left right away and I barely made it home before I did throw up. My fear and anxiety was crazy high. I had head pressure, major health anxiety, shaking, the works. I haven't felt like that for such a long time! I have only felt anxiety to the point of actually throwing up once before, and I wasn't sure if I actually had a touch of a stomach bug along with the anxiety. I have been nauseous before, often used to gag in the morning, especially while brushing my teeth, but not throwing up like I did. Thankfully I slept good last night, but I woke up full of anxiety and fear. It's calmed down significantly, but I can feel it lurking around the edges. My field trip is an all-day one to Crater Lake National Park. I have a lot of fear about this one because a year and 1/2 ago, while on my last field trip up there, I was sick with bronchitis, felt like I couldn't breathe, and had a panic attack. I was in the last bit of my tapering process and my anxiety was really bad at the time. I couldn't handle going back last year, so I cancelled the trip. I was hoping that I would be more comfortable with going up there, but I can feel the anxiety about it rising already. I'm really worried I will have a panic attack up there. This will be a big hurdle for me to get over in my healing process. I'm still nauseous, and not 100% sure that I don't have a bug along with this wave. My husband thinks that I was hit with such a tough wave because of my eye infection and head cold. Could be. I'm sure it has made everything more intense. I have read often about sickness causing waves, but while I was sick at times last year, I was so wavy that it was impossible to tell if it ever made them worse. I got through my day and spent several hours at my daughter's volleyball tournament, keeping the scorebook as usual. I am really tired now and will probably be going to bed early. Hopefully to wake up with more healing from this eye infection and cold! I am exchanging my seahorse on this merry-go-round for the sleigh that is anchored and doesn't go up and down. I am ready to go back to consistency....no more ups and downs for me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[mr...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 HealingHope, I think it is good for you to go and face it. It helps me to let someone know who will be with me, that I've had some issues with panic in the past, and that I might need a lil reassurance or a moment or two, etc. Panic and anxiety are NOTHING to fear, and remember -- they are NOT an operation mode of His So you do not have to stand for them, in them, or with them Sometimes a steroid or an antibiotic can affect us differently. Add in a menstruation cycle plus a touch of some cold or flu symptoms, and it probably had ya a bit thrown off, lol I wouldn't read too much into it, nor take it personal That's just what it wants you to do, lol! They mean nothing, and you're going to do great on Monday I love the verse that says: The Lord is for me, he will help me. Also: The Lord is my helper, I will not be seized with alarm. "Seized with alarm". I like that. That, to me, means panic. I will not panic. Yes, Lord. Okay, I will not panic. I will not fear. Love ya, HH. Rest well tonight, friend. Also, please forgive if the "Lord" does not apply to you -- feel free to "fill in" what does Mrs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[He...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 HealingHope, I think it is good for you to go and face it. It helps me to let someone know who will be with me, that I've had some issues with panic in the past, and that I might need a lil reassurance or a moment or two, etc. Panic and anxiety are NOTHING to fear, and remember -- they are NOT an operation mode of His So you do not have to stand for them, in them, or with them Sometimes a steroid or an antibiotic can affect us differently. Add in a menstruation cycle plus a touch of some cold or flu symptoms, and it probably had ya a bit thrown off, lol I wouldn't read too much into it, nor take it personal That's just what it wants you to do, lol! They mean nothing, and you're going to do great on Monday I love the verse that says: The Lord is for me, he will help me. Also: The Lord is my helper, I will not be seized with alarm. "Seized with alarm". I like that. That, to me, means panic. I will not panic. Yes, Lord. Okay, I will not panic. I will not fear. Love ya, HH. Rest well tonight, friend. Also, please forgive if the "Lord" does not apply to you -- feel free to "fill in" what does Mrs. Thank you Mrs!! I love those verses and will be writing them down to take with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[pe...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 HH- Sounds like you were dealt a rough hand this week, with illness and eye infection, period too. Who wouldn't be struggling with all that?!? I hope most of that is passing through, that your body is feeling better so your mind can follow. I think it's awesome you scheduled the trip for this fall. It shows great healing that you were ready to take it on. I think you're still ready. The children's joy will be wonderfully distracting. I made it through an epic field trip on Friday with nonstop DR. I almost forgot a child's meds at school I was so out of it. But we all made it and I even had a few moments of joy on the trip. You're doing so well. You'll do this too. You'll feel better soon. Rest. Rest. Rest. Peace2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Gr...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Hi Buddies, Whew...this has been the Week of the Wave! UGH. I got a very uncomfortable infection in my eye, which led me to have to use eye drops with an antibiotic and a steroid. I have been fighting off a head cold. I have to wear my glasses, rather than my contacts, and they are old and give me a headache. I'm on my period. AND I have a huge field trip on Monday that I am really worried about. The perfect storm to set up a HUGE wave. Last night my husband and I were out to dinner with friends and, after my anxiety kept rising, I all of a sudden felt like I was going to throw up. Such a wave of nausea. We left right away and I barely made it home before I did throw up. My fear and anxiety was crazy high. I had head pressure, major health anxiety, shaking, the works. I haven't felt like that for such a long time! I have only felt anxiety to the point of actually throwing up once before, and I wasn't sure if I actually had a touch of a stomach bug along with the anxiety. I have been nauseous before, often used to gag in the morning, especially while brushing my teeth, but not throwing up like I did. Thankfully I slept good last night, but I woke up full of anxiety and fear. It's calmed down significantly, but I can feel it lurking around the edges. My field trip is an all-day one to Crater Lake National Park. I have a lot of fear about this one because a year and 1/2 ago, while on my last field trip up there, I was sick with bronchitis, felt like I couldn't breathe, and had a panic attack. I was in the last bit of my tapering process and my anxiety was really bad at the time. I couldn't handle going back last year, so I cancelled the trip. I was hoping that I would be more comfortable with going up there, but I can feel the anxiety about it rising already. I'm really worried I will have a panic attack up there. This will be a big hurdle for me to get over in my healing process. I'm still nauseous, and not 100% sure that I don't have a bug along with this wave. My husband thinks that I was hit with such a tough wave because of my eye infection and head cold. Could be. I'm sure it has made everything more intense. I have read often about sickness causing waves, but while I was sick at times last year, I was so wavy that it was impossible to tell if it ever made them worse. I got through my day and spent several hours at my daughter's volleyball tournament, keeping the scorebook as usual. I am really tired now and will probably be going to bed early. Hopefully to wake up with more healing from this eye infection and cold! I am exchanging my seahorse on this merry-go-round for the sleigh that is anchored and doesn't go up and down. I am ready to go back to consistency....no more ups and downs for me. HH, The steroid w/ an antibiotic. What kind of antibiotic? And I think steroids are a problem, too. MoreChocolate just posted, after writing her success story at 7 months, and being consistently fine since then, at 16 months had a tough wave after being treated in the hospital for pancreatitis. They gave her toradol. and another woman had a wave three years out from supplements from a chiropractor. I really do think it's the infection or the medication, or both. And MChoc felt better after a few days. You're rattled. Don't be. Calm down Remember the three legged stool, the glue that's not yet cured. You're only 14 months. In benzo wd that's early. I think you will be fine. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 HH ... patterns with patterns ... I developed an eye infection a couple of weeks ago ... and this household suspects some kind of flu bug has hit ... and the benzo stuff is waxing and waning quite heavy the last few days ... and some heavy nausea ... and sleep seems to be good ... For me it seems to be rest and rest ... and carrying on as best I can ... take whichever "seat" on the carousel you find most comfortable in the moment ... I finally got that aggravating music turned off so we can have some "quiet" going round and round in this "circle game" ... Hugs ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Whoot ... thanks for the link ... my first reaction was "see, I am not making this up" ... I suppose every little bit of "publicity" helps ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Jrod ... yes, I feel disappointed and taxed ... I seem to be able to "endure" these feelings knowing that I am not a disappointment ... I have a lot of satisfaction and pride in what I have accomplished ... just hard to remember where I put them when they get buried under the "process" pile of symptoms ... And I have "unlimited" funds in my "tax" account ... I can pay that piper whatever is demanded of me ... I may be exhausted quite often, but my resources are never used up ... It is hard to see "improvement" when it gets foggy and cloudy and rainy ... and our improvement is solid ... we keep adding to it each day ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Good Morning Folks ... this morning I feel like "another day in the salt mines" ... had a good rest ... and feel lousy ... and I get to "assign" today's stuff to the weather ... seems we will be getting a bit of a nor'easter coming up the coast later today ... a medium "blow" and a good "dunking" ... Well, I shall sit back and watch today's "program" unfold ... roast chicken and sweet potatoes for dinner ... must remember to put them in the oven this time ... like me, they seem to require a little "cooking" today ... Have a good Sunday ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Nova, so sorry to hear you are feeling lousy, glad to hear you got good rest! I believe that when our bodies tire from not getting enough rest everything is aggravated even more! Chicken and sweet potatoes sounds delicious! I hope things improve throughout the day! Wishing you well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Hi GMIT ... yep ... it is what it is ... hope you are having a good weekend ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 I went fishing yesterday and caught the biggest fish yet! I never fished prior to this experience, but have found it to be very therapeutic and a great aid in my recovery! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Thk u Nova ; woke up in not a good place as well. Mostly depression . Initially not bad just that empty feeling. Tonight's dinner sounds great! Thx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ga...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Wow guys and gals...not so good. Another night of no sleep and another long day ahead of me. I have to work and will not be home until late. This is getting old, this miserable wave I am in. So difficult to go through back to back nights with no sleep. One major stressor this week on Tuesday. I hope all this insomnia will resolve after that day. I just need some support t o make it through another day. It's a if I am fearful of being in bed recently. It has been a traumatic experience just lying there, ruminating, although I did manage to quiet my mind a bit now and then between feeling paniced. I know this is a temporary state even though when in the middle of it you think otherwise. Just scared about what the future holds for me. Sorry to be a downer this Sunday morning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Jrod ... looking at you sig ... you have had a "mix" of stuff ... I cannot imagine coming off all those ... I only had one drug to contend with ... all we have to do is give it enough time to bring us "home" ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[No...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Garton ... I know the "fear" of being in bed stuff ... still have it sometimes ... about a year and half ago I found I was just not comfortable "laying down" ... so I moved to my recliner ... been sleeping there ever since ... sure hope I can move back to a bed someday ... When that "fear" comes around all I manage to do is just let it be there ... it passes in its own sweet time ... when things get too loud I just turn on a light and maybe the TV and "wait" ... got my own little benzo-den set up ... can't "argue" with this stuff ... You have gotten through many "days" of this ... you will get through this one as well ... just be cautious of not putting up any additional "barrier-stresses" for yourself ... it is what it is and pretty soon it is Monday ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[ga...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 Thank you so much for the thoughtful words of truth. You have it pegged. I know deep inside you are correct. Sometimes hard to see that truth when exhausted. Just relax and let it pass tomorrow will come. I have managed before and will get through today somehow as I always seem to. Enjoy your cool weather today. We're longing for it in the desert southwest! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[Gr...] Posted September 21, 2014 Share Posted September 21, 2014 HH ... patterns with patterns ... I developed an eye infection a couple of weeks ago ... and this household suspects some kind of flu bug has hit ... and the benzo stuff is waxing and waning quite heavy the last few days ... and some heavy nausea ... and sleep seems to be good ... For me it seems to be rest and rest ... and carrying on as best I can ... take whichever "seat" on the carousel you find most comfortable in the moment ... I finally got that aggravating music turned off so we can have some "quiet" going round and round in this "circle game" ... Hugs ... Nova, you also had that problem with the eye, and Sky mentioned it too. I wonder if the dry eyes we get causes some kind of irritation, infection. Sorry about the nausea, that's my major sx these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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