~~The Bedridden Club~~

[[lo...]]

Hi racksha, Hi SD

 

Seems there are quite a few of us "living" in our bedrooms. 

 

I don't envy those of you with families.  The effort of interacting would be too much!  Some sympathy would be nice though and a cup of tea.

 

I do envy your view though, racksha. Sounds wonderful. 

 

I like seeing people outside. It brightens up my day.   Especially if there are young children.

 

The only noise here comes when the grass is cut.  I do have planes flying overhead though but not too many. 

 

Just had an episode of contractions in my bum.    Don't like it at all but it passes.

 

I listen to the radio in the evening.  Music usually. All kinds.  Pop, country & western, Scottish, classical. Enjoy the variety.

 

Ah well,  another sleepless night for me, I expect.

 

But you never know ......

 

Hugs

 

LF 

 

 

[[ra...]]

LF -  I do hope not as it must seem endless, but good you've got the radio, I might try it, as, like you, I love all kinds of music and have a bedroom full of CDs. It really can stir the soul.

 

Your right about the cups of tea - My Grandsons are both adults, so believe me they wait on me hand and foot - Isn't that  what Grandchildren are supposed to do? - I told mine they should consider themselves lucky, as 200 years ago they would have been up chimneys sweeping them lol.  No, they are great and never any trouble to me at all - love em to bits.

 

Hope the contractions in your posterior will ease tonight -  doesn't sound very comfortable.

 

And do hope tonight's the night you get good sleep.

 

Hugs xx

[[Se...]]

Yes it is exhausting... Pick up and drive my daughter for 2.5 hours and then made a  beeline for the shower and jammies the minute I got home. It zaps me. Now I'll have more interacting and some critical things to get done tonite (if it isn't critical it doesn't get done).

 

Hope you get sleep LF

[[Se...]]

Hey everyone,

I don't have enough energy to do more than string a few words together, but I'm here, reading, hugs.

SB 

[[lo...]]

Hi folks

 

I feel better late evening and during the night.

 

Dusted my bedroom and had a shower tonight.

 

That is an amazing feat for me,  it rarely happens.  It feels such an achievement. 

 

Did not feel very ill afterwards, as I usually do. 

 

You are doing well, SD, to do what you do. 

 

So pleased you have your grandsons, racksha, that is so nice.

 

Sorry you are so tired, SB.  I know what it is like.

 

Hope everyone sleeps well tonight.

 

Hugs

 

LF 

 

 

[[ra...]]

Hi everyone.

 

SD - Your doing well to be able to drive and do the things your doing - hope this continues.

 

 

SB  - The energy will come - It took me 6 hours and many breaks to type the long post I sent to you and LF today.

 

 

LF    - Congratulations and well done on your achievements this evening.

 

 

Hugs.

[[lo...]]

Thanks, racksha.

 

Wide awake here.

 

Sleep well. 

 

LF 

[[Se...]]

I'm still working my way through this thread and have just got to this post and wanted to comment.  Racksha, I'm experiencing some of your symptoms and have been, on and off for the last few years.

 

 

1. Feeling Nauseous and having to dry heave to get some relief.

 

2. Inner trembling/shaking in legs and stomach churning.

 

3. Feeling of weakness and white hot tingling  in hands/arms and legs (not  true weakness as my hands can grip tight and I have no problem

        walking to the bathroom.)

 

4. Feeling  ill as though I could easily pass out, - even if I'm lying down.(don't think it's low blood sugar related as can happen even after  eating)

 

5. Intermittent singing in right ear with rapid pulse in neck.

 

6. Flushing/burning both ears and face.

 

7. Throughout  the day alternating between nausea and food hunger/CRAVINGS.

 

When all this is happening I've noticed physical anxiety levels are high, but  don't think it's as a result of any reaction or prompting on my part, as I just try to keep calm and do abdominal breathing, so as not to add further anxiety - That said, I do find it takes very little to stimulate 'my own' anxiety.

 

 

 

I sometimes experience nausea when I wake up, its part of my symptom package and will continue through the day, usually subsiding by late afternoon/evening.  I don't dry heave.  If its a nausea kind of day, I can't eat.  I've never got it really bad, not like being sea sick or morning sickness.  On a scale of 1 - 10, it would probably be between 2 - 4, but I've been experiencing it on and off since 2011

 

Inner trembling, shaking etc has been one of my most upsetting symptoms.  It also comes along with waves of increased symptoms in general.  for me when this symptom is bad, I usually also feel very cold, but not skin cold, its like my core is cold and can't warm up.  Actually I could be cold on this inside and shaking, but could feel hot and sweaty on the outside.  These lovely group of symptoms usually start for me in the early hours of the morning, peaking around 8am and subsiding as the day progresses.

 

Feeling of being weak, without actually being weak.  I think I know what you mean.  Like a kind of physical vulnerability, almost an expectation of weakness, but not actual weakness... if this is what you mean, yes, I get that.

 

I've had occasional burning/tingling/prickling sensations in body parts, but not regularly

 

Sensation of being about to pass out.... yes, quite often and more so if I do any kind of exercise or increase my heart rate.

 

Ever since I stopped taking lexapro I've had constant tinnitus, sort of in the middle of my head.  But later in my withdrawal process, after I had been taking other drugs, including xanax and stopped them, I've also developed a different noise in my right ear, this one comes and goes and its a different sound, a higher pitch and much more disturbing.  It starts and stops suddenly and I can be without it for several days, then it will come back.

 

Flashing/burning/surges of heat and adreneline, causing sudden sweating.  For me they seem to start in my chest or stomach and spread up and out.  But on another withdrawal forum I visit, I've read about people having this problem with burning hot ears.

 

I've noticed that when my nausea/anxiety starts to settle later in the day, I can suddenly feel very hungry with a need to eat something, not so much cravings, just an urgent need to eat right now and if I can't find something I want to eat, I start to panic.

 

Like you, most of this is accompanied by sensations of physical anxiety, the fight or flight response and has nothing to do with worry or anxious thoughts.  Of course all this 'causes' a lot of anxious thoughts and worry, for me I start wondering if I've got something more serious going on, am I dying, should I go to the doctor, am I just going to get worse and worse, what is wrong with me etc.

 

Racksha, I don't know why you haven't been able to get any validation of these symptoms here from other BBs, but on another forum, for antidepressant withdrawal, all this stuff is very common.  I think its because when the nervous system becomes destabilized (or over stressed) beyond a certain point, regardless of what caused it, the symptoms tend to be similar.  Sudden withdrawal from many different kinds of medications can put stress on the NS as it struggles to adapt to a changed environment.

 

I'm finding that over time, all these symptoms come and go in the usual waves pattern, sometimes a symptom will go away completely for a few weeks, then come back again, but not quite as bad as it was before.  The fact that it was gone completely and then comes back makes it seem bad and its very upsetting, but in reality, when I look back I can see that my symptoms are not as intense as they were 2 years ago.  I just wish they would all go away and stay away so I can have a life.

 

I hope this helps.

[[ra...]]

SB - Thank you very much for your reply - It all helps a great deal, especially knowing others have experienced same sxs.  When I first joined BBs I did get good feedback from my posting enquires which gave  reassurance, as I asked questions of those on the protracted forum, because I assumed those who had already been through my stage would know more about it and would understand the need for encouragement, as many did. But, sadly,  a couple of months ago, one bb put up a post saying 'This is the protracted board' And when I read that some protracted bbs did not think it right that those under the recommended  18 months out, should post on protracted, I thought it best to give up posting there, as the last thing I'd intended was to be a nuisance to anyone. And seeing as many bbs on the Post site were still in the early stages, I didn't think it wise to post there either, being a lot further out than them, as it might have caused some poor souls to worry. So I felt left  between a Rock and a Hard place.

 

Anyway, enough of the misery of the wretched sxs, as I'm just sick of the whole damned thing, as before all this I was a happy, active Nan, who enjoyed messing around with my lovely Grandchildren - Today, whist our 8 year old Granddaughter is visiting us for Easter, it's my husband who takes her out whilst I remain stuck in this bloody bedroom again - sorry I can feel a self pity rant coming on, so had better sign off.

 

I do hope your having a reasonable day, as Iv'e read from your post of 30th March that you wake up each morning 'in a vision of Hell' and that you are mostly in bed and rarely leave the house - no wonder you said your 'loosing hope'. And here's me, at not quite 16 months, droning on about my lot. - Sorry, but my anxiety gets high and I end up feeling  like a frightened animal caught  in headlights. 

 

Hugs and thanks again.

          xxx

 

Racksha.

[[lo...]]

Hi folks

 

Awake all night again, slept until mid afternoon.

 

So sorry you are missing out on being with your 8 year old granddaughter, racksha.  That must be soooooo very hard.  :'(

 

How many children and grandchildren do you have?

 

The severe depression I had as a young woman meant children were not an option for me. Bloody drugs. 

 

I have a great niece who is 5 and twin great nephews who are one.  All in the south of England.  Have not met the boys yet.  See them on Facebook which is lovely.  They are sooooo cute. 

 

Hope I might be well enough by the end of this year to visit them all.

 

Meantime, just have to amuse myself as best I can.

 

Hugs, everyone.  I am sorry you are suffering so badly.

 

LF 

 

[[ra...]]

LF - Hope you get sleep tonight - It's got to come right soon. I'm sure you'll get to see your family and won't that be a joyous time.

 

3 children - 15 Grandchildren -  2 GreatGrandchildren.  - As you can imagine it can get pretty expensive around birthdays and Christmas, but we love them all to bits.

 

              xxx

 

 

[[ne...]]

Hi racksha, LF, SeraBear and anyone else

Hope you`re all doing as well as can be expected this Easter weekend.

 

I went to the doctors and burst into tears.  I just couldn`t hold it in any longer. I had suicidal thoughts last week but I really don`t want to do anything like that and hurt my family.

So the doctor gave me some AD`s and I thought perhaps this is the answer and I`m depressed and the w/d`s are second to that.  They were Cymbalta and I took them for 2 days - and have now ditched them in the bin.

I`ve had nausea on and off during this w/d but I was dry retching on these drugs.  Two days of dry retching and more fatigue.  Then the thought of having to w/d from them too at a later date made my mind up.

I`ve decided to dry cut 0.25 tonight and keep moving forward on that and try to distract myself when the dark sx come.

 

I`ve read a few of your posts since I was last here and it`s more reassuring than I can explain to know you`re all going through much the same ( though of course I wish you didn`t have to go through it)

I`ve just put our granddaughter off from visiting and feel so guilty. She`s 25 and wanted to see us but its just too much today.

Sorry I`m the miserable old sod of the week - my new title

If I could I`d make you all better

hugs

NCT x

[[ne...]]

Hi all again

sorry for my pity party post above. You`re all going through hell too and don`t need it.  But if you want to join my `virtual` pity party you`re more than welcome. I`ll drag myself into the kitchen and make us all a cuppa.

 

I got low this last week, any suggestions how you all cope would be realllly appreciated. 

 

NCT x

[[ra...]]

Hi NCT - this is just  a quick reply as it's still morning, so I don't function well just yet, so will catch up later, but just wanted to say hello to you and am really sorry your feeling so rough and down - not alone -  as for the pity club, I'll join, and we can all moan together. -  As you can see from the many posts on bbs, it's not an easy journey - certainly for me it's the hardest road I've walked in my entire life, but I'm sure it's one worth taking, and when we are through it, we will surely benefit for the rest of our lives. - As for how to get through it, my only way has been by taking it all just one step at a time - sometimes one hour at a time, and certainly one day at a time - I remember I went through a really dark patch where I lived only in the minute just to get through the day. So it is bloody hard at times, a lot of times, but YOU WILL come through it - smiling.

 

 

later.

 

Hugs  xxxxxxx

 

Racksha.

[[Se...]]

Hello  fellow bed buddies.  I hope everyone here gets at least some improvement this Easter weekend.  I've spent the first day of it on my bed, as usual, trying to find things to distract myself from feeling awful.  The highlight of my day has been forcing myself into the shower, which I badly needed to do.

 

My daughter and her boyfriend have been here most of the day, they are so happy and carefree, young, hopeful with great lives.  A few hours ago they went to the beach, it sounds awful to say this, but it was a relief to be alone again.  The constant reminder of the contrast between my life and other healthy, normal people can be excruciatingly painful, even after 3 years I still can't seem to accept my situation, the struggle with reality makes it so much harder.  I hate myself for not being able to pull myself out of this and just get on with life.

 

It doesn't bother me in the slightest when anyone comes here and moans and complains, if we can't get it out here and be honest about the way we are feeling, where else can we go.

 

Personally, I'm at the end of a rotting old rope and sick to the skin of my teeth about ready to jump off the nearest cliff because of just how much my life sucks.  But earlier today I was criticizing myself for being miserable, I couldn't even let myself be miserable in peace without also feeling guilty. I was thinking about the real meaning of today and how much worse my day could have been, not that I'm particularly religious, but still, I was thinking what an ungrateful person I must be for feeling sorry for myself on a day like today, for a few minutes it put things back into perspective, but then I went back to being miserable and feeling sorry for myself.

 

I have one daughter and no grandchildren.  I always thought I would have more children and a large happy close family with grand kids who came to visit 'us' as we got older.  But I unconsciously chose a man to marry who was just like my own father, worse actually and the whole 13 year relationship was mostly very unpleasant, for me anyway.

 

I'm free now, to start again and build a happier life, unfortunately I'm stuck in bed, alone, lonely, wondering if I will ever have a chance to find real happiness.

 

I think I should get the miserable old sod of the month award now.  I love that word (sod), my mum used to use it a lot, but since we moved from the UK, she stopped saying it, its not commonly used here in this god awful dried out, fly ridden, ant infested place I got dragged to when I was 10 years old.... and not a kangaroo in sight, well not in any of my back yards anyway...

 

I miss green hills and rolling meadows and pretty little flowers that grow along the sides of the roads on Sunday drives into the countryside, I don't know if a bluebell or snowdrop would even grow here, I'm going to go look for some pictures to make myself feel better. Do foxgloves still grow wild in the UK?

 

Wishing everyone a nice weekend 

 

PS.  NCT, your post came through while I was typing.  Please don't apologize and I would love to come to your party, a cuppa would be lovely, please make mine decaff if you have it, I still can't tolerate caffeine.  If I find some flowers growing along the road, I'll bring them over, maybe they will cheer us up a bit.

 

The way I cope is trying to think only of getting through one day at a time, sometimes, just one moment at a time and distraction, distraction distraction.

 

My own personal lifesaver, and obviously not for everyone has been watching Mooji satsang videos on youtube

[[ra...]]

Hi SB - just caught your post before signing off this morning after a quick word for NCT.  Promise to catch you all later when I hope to be functioning  a bit better - mornings still dreadful. And I think a' moany Old Sods Club, or pity party  is a great Idea. lol - The way  feel at the moment I'm sure I'd get top prise for being the most miserable, self pitying old sod. - I know , you all feel the same.

 

Hope to catch you all later.

Hugs xxxx

Racksha.

[[Se...]]

Sign me up for pity party.

 

Having company for dinner tonight with in laws from OIT of town. Rich, self-absorbed and critcal. It was my hubby's idea and he is doing a lot if the work and prep. My son was crying with boredom today and I am unable to play since I have a COLD on top of benzo yuck.

 

House a mess we picked up some but MIL hates our home, she is OCD so that's why hubby married me! It is embarrassing to see her sneer but I am hiding in bed today when she arrives shortly. After I shower if course.

 

Every day I want nothing more than to be alone. And in bed healing. The stress of interacting and parenting I think keeps me from healing. Endless neediness. It's just a fact. I do feel better as day goes on. Bed is my home base, even if it's 30 minutes.

 

Take care and wish me luck

[[lo...]]

Hi everyone

 

I am so sorry you are all having such a miserable time.  :'(

 

None of you is self-pitying or moaning or anything like that.  You have every right to feel miserable and no need to feel guilty about it.  I think it is easier for me being alone without close family around. I don't feel the guilt and sadness about not doing things with other people.  Of course I would like to see my friends but don't get upset that I don't.

 

SB, don't feel bad about wanting to be alone.  When I was terribly ill, I could only lie in bed and "endure" my symptoms.  Nothing else was possible. :'( :'(  Never hate yourself. Hate the drugs but not yourself.  You can't help this situation and you can only do what your symptoms allow you to do.  For months I could hardly lift my head off the pillow.  Now I can get up quite easily but not for long.  Any attempt to push myself just backfires and makes me worse.  Just accept that you can't do things but don't blame yourself for it.

 

I had a 10 year very difficult marriage.  My ex has a psychotic illness which has never improved.  It is very sad, tragic in fact. Having children was not an option for us as we were both ill. I have never had another serious relationship but I am happy.  Happiness and contentment come from within and finding a partner is just a bonus really. You will find happiness again when you get through this.

 

I know others here like Mooji - glad something helps a little.

 

We have wild foxgloves in the UK.    I just see a car park outside my bedroom and kitchen windows but there is grass and shrubs too.  I see neighbours coming and going which I like.  Not totally cut off from the outside world.  One couple has two young children so I love seeing them.

 

NCT - I am sorry you are so depressed.  I had some dry retching so know how awful that is.  :'(

 

I am sorry you had to put your granddaughter off from visiting.  It must be so very hard. 

 

Try to keep going with the cuts and you will get there. 

 

racksha - you sure do have a big family.  It won't be too long before you can enjoy them again.

 

Good luck, SD.  MIL can just get down to some housework if not pleased. 

 

Hugs

 

LF 

 

PS - I spent my whole life feeling guilty and being self-critical.  No more.  It was all because of that damned drug I was on.  :tickedoff:   There is nothing wrong with me as a person.  Just an average human being like everyone else, just doing my best. 

[[ra...]]

Hi All - Was so wanting to come on to chat nicely with you all tonight, but physical anxiety too high damn it. I was not doing too bad until suddenly out of the blue this afternoon, it just happened, no reason no rhyme. Went to sleep for an hour to shut it out, no good, as woke up all shaky and feeling rough, so am very disappointed I can't chat with you at the moment, as am just going to close down for the night. -  This is what does my head in with this bloody condition, as you can just be jogging along reasonably ok, and then out of nowhere the sxs and anxiety can start up all on their own with no prompting from me.  sorry guys, I'm ranting again, but it scares me so much, and now I've ended up in tears as I'm typing this to you. Sorry sorry sorry. -  I've definitely joined the pity party tonight. - Do hope you've all had a better day.

 

 

Am so grateful I can sound off to you guys like this, because I know you  understand - Thank you so much.

 

Will try to make it up with a more interesting post tomorrow.

 

Love and hugs to you all.

 

            xxxx

 

[[pr...]]

Endless neediness.

 

i feel the same way with my family. it's exhausting and i don't know how to reserve and protect my own energy yet. trying different ways and different things. for now, i try to not talk much, stay quiet and to myself and imagine electric violet light surrounding me at all times in a protective egg all around me. i don't need to be exhasuted from lending out energy when i need it for my healing.

[[lo...]]

Hi racksha, Hi pretty

 

Just rest and try to sleep.

 

I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

 

Hugs

 

LF 

[[ne...]]

Hello everyone in the moaning old sods/bedridden club pity party.

I had a bit of a window yesterday and noticed I got better as the day wore on. Then woke this morning miserable as sin again. What`s that all about?  Do any of you have this happen, why are mornings the worst? 

I`m back in bed as that`s my sanctuary and thankful I`ve got a good husband who understands, although I sometimes wonder if this would be easier doing it alone. I feel so guilty as this is stopping him getting on with his life too.

 

I made a cut to 5.75mg diazepam last night as I`m determined to get this poison out of me - but I don`t think that`s the reason for my feeling like this, as I`m like it whether I cut or not.

 

Anyway I totally agree with you all about having the energy for mixing with other people. As you saw by my putting our darling grandaughter off, I`m like it with family too. I`ll be over the moon when this sx goes- I hope it does.

 

Sorry you weren`t feeling good last night racksha - I hope todays better for you.

 

LF  I`ve no idea why I`m dry retching again. This was my 1st sx when I realized I had become tolerant to temazepam and it had gone away to be replaced by nausea. Must be my reducing the diazepam?  It`s horrible ain`t it?

 

Hello Seriously done - give MIL a duster if the mess bothers her that much. 

 

It`s raining here so the good news is that we wouldn`t be doing anything much anyway, which makes it easier for me to stay here. 

Hope you all have as good a day as you can.

 

NCT x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[ra...]]

Hi Ladies - LF - SB - NCT - SD and welcome  PD.

 

I hope your all not too bad today - I won't individualise  this  post today, as It's general, incorporating responses  to comments in your posts. 

 

PAUSE FOR THOUGHT:  I know we all joke about being miserable old sods, and we talk of pity parties, but if you stop and think about it,  with what we are going through we are in fact extremely courageous and strong individuals - I choose these adjectives deliberately,  as I think it often takes both courage and strength just to  deal with the plethora of sxs on a daily basis.  And I defy anyone, no matter how brave,  who suffers through this experience, to not have  down times and the need to express the sort of feelings we are experiencing  -  There's certainly no weakness in this.

 

It's true what LF said about the guilt we often feel - I agree,  we shouldn't,  as we didn't bring this on ourselves, as it's been done to us by those who plied our systems with poison,  putting us through this inhuman and cruel condition, turning us into unwitting, involuntary addicts.  -  So although, as said,  we joke about how we consider ourselves M.O.S. complaining about our lot (humour often being our saving grace),  we are really just a bunch of ordinary folk, whose lives have been put on hold, and who just  want to be well and get back to some sort of normality.  So if we feel like having a very understandable  damned good rant, or cry buckets, during those times when it all seems endless and too much - We are jolly well entitled  - agreed? 

                                                                       

                                                                      ********

 

 

Many years ago I, too,  had a troubled  marriage, ending in divorce, but have been fortunate 2nd time around, as this one has lasted happily 40 plus years - He's my Rock.

 

As for mother in laws - the first one I hardly knew, as the distance factor kept us nicely  apart. The second openly admitted that anyone  less than The Princess Royal was not considered  good enough to be the wife of one of her 4 sons - So SD, If you think you've got problems with POSH OCD MIL, you should have had mine - We used to laughingly refer her as The Duchess  (behind her back of course).

 

I know exactly what is meant about not wanting to have people around you when we are feeling so ill. During my really dark period I could hardly stand to have my nearest and dearest chatting to me. I used to think, please go away and leave me to die in peace. And I remember clearly, when  my children  would phone, I used to make up some excuse as to why I couldn't chat for more than a couple of minutes , as my brain just couldn't deal with the input. Now it's a little easier, but anymore than 10 minutes and I'm off, as I still can't cope with much stimulus:

 

eg.

Still no T.V. from the 8th month (Amazingly I don't miss it) - There  was no ability to read from 8th month (thankfully it came back a few weeks ago) - Even now, like some of you, I can't be around family for long (As said in an earlier post, my Granddaughter is here for Easter, but I've barely seen her for more than 15 minutes) - Sadly, just can't handle it, as ANY stimulus revs up the sxs, -  ears start  ringing, head buzzing and weird inner shakiness in my limbs, almost as though my CNS is going into some sort of panic -  Even to type this post has taken all day  as I can only be on the laptop for approx 10 minutes at a time before I have to take a break, otherwise on come the sxs. 

 

Having said that I don't want people around,  I am so glad I've got my husband to care for me,  as I think those of you who have done this entirely on your own are the bravest of the brave. Not sure I could have coped with it all, unaided.

You have my admiration.

 

I, too, don't mind being stuck indoors when it's bad weather  -  It's when the sun is out and I can see people outside enjoying themselves that I get frustrated and weepy with envy. But who knows what this Summer may bring - Could be our turn.....YEH........

 

As regards the GI sxs Nausea/dry heaving and retching ect.. - I'm afraid they started from day one of acute, and continued through till the 13th month, and only recently began to settle down a little.  But we are all different, so for some it may not last as long.

 

As to why the mornings seem far worse - It was explained to me that  Cortisol  (the excitatory  hormone) is not being sufficiently controlled by the calming of the Gaba hormone,  which is still healing/growing back - Think I've got that in the right order - either way, my mornings are Shite!

 

I watched the buzzards again this afternoon, catching the thermals as they soared  high up into the clouds, circling then diving and gliding swiftly down again - It was a beautiful sight, and boy, did I envy them their freedom - You bet.

 

Gosh, I've  written this long missive without having  either balled  my eyes out, or  had a rant -  that's an improvement on yesterday - but wait till tomorrow and I'll probably be wanting to join the bloody pity party again. lol.

 

Hugs to all.

 

Racksha  xxx

 

[[lo...]]

Hi NCT

 

So glad you had a bit of a window yesterday. 

 

Lots of folk are worse a.m. and get better as the day goes on. I certainly was. As racksha says it is the increased cortisol in our bodies in the morning.

 

I do think it is easier in many ways being alone although some help would have been welcome at times.  Changing my duvet cover was such an ordeal.  I really did not want to see anyone most of the time though.

 

I slept all day so missed the weather!!

 

Not had a good evening so hope tomorrow is better.

 

Hugs

 

LF 

[[lo...]]

Hi racksha

 

So glad you feel better after crying so much. 

 

Nothing wrong with ranting, moaning etc.  I totally agree. 

 

So pleased you found a good hubby second time round.  40 years is a wonderful achievement.  I hope there will be many more, years not hubbies!!. 

 

I am so glad I am alone.    Folk would just annoy me just now.  :'( :'(  Not really brave just relieved to be left in peace to suffer.  :yippee:

 

It might have been different if my symptoms had been different.  I am lucky only to have physical symptoms.  No fear, panic, anxiety or depression.  Don't need reassurance just lots of sympathy!! 

 

Not been a good evening but symptoms easing now at 1.00 a.m.

 

Not sure if I will sleep or not.

 

Hugs

 

LF