Not valium withdrawal at all, something worse

[Guest [Ob...]]

I've checked many, many other posts describing the exact symptoms you are having and they were all w/d related.  But you are very scared right now, and that too is understandable. The only thing that will put your mind at ease is more extensive testing, so by all means pursue that avenue of investigation. 

[[fr...]]

Whatever it is that is going on, please don't use it as a reason to go back on benzos. Benzos have wrecked my hormones, immune system, mental health, sleep cycle, etc. They are still and will always be very bad news. I hope you can get some more tests done to get to the bottom of this but please be aware that many health conditions have the exact same sx.

[[Mi...]]

I'm not a doctor but am in the medical field. If your ALT and ALK Phos  ect were normal why do you think you have liver disease? If your enzymes were increased they would do an Ultra Sound of your liver ect. My cousin has diagnosed cirrhosis, she has severe oedema and other symptoms. They did bloods, then Ultra Sound, then CT. unless it is confirmed withdrawal could very much be cause of your symptoms. Never underestimate the way it mutates itself in the body. Love to you. Don't right yourself off yet! Xx

 

 

 

 

[[Gu...]]

The ALT was slightly elevated on Tuesday, 57. I kept getting worse so I went to the ER on Wednesday night and they did all the bloods and liver function tests and this time they were all normal. I still feel like absolute crap, nauseas and periodic pains coming from the liver. I also feel more lethargic than I ever have and can barely move. Apparently its possible to have severe liver damage and normal enzymes.

 

I went to my doctor just now and he was confused because the symptoms indicate a liver problem but the bloods on Wednesday were normal. He suggested that I may have caught a virus but I don't know any virus that would present like this. He didn't want to do any invasive tests at this stage, just see what happens.

 

Its a mystery. It would make sense given my history, current symptoms and irregular enzymes in the past to have liver disease but at this point I have no evidence. Don't know what to do :-

 

Thanks everyone for your support.

[Guest [...]]

In Australia the ER doctors just want to check your not going to die then and there and get you out the door.

 

I live in Australia and have never experienced this treatment at all. I have never been to the ER myself except for a leg injury on holiday. I was thoroughly examined and x rayed even though it was a regional clinic and past their closing time.

 

My  young adult daughter suffered unexplained agony a couple of years ago. Her boyfriend took her to the nearest public ER and the day was spent testing her for everything. By evening they had narrowed it down to gall bladder issues - first time and she was not a typical specimen for this. She didn't let me know until all the scary things were ruled out but we were up there immediately. Next morning we spoke with a specialist who booked her in for endoscopic surgery to remove a gall stone from her bile duct within two days.

 

As we had private insurance we asked him to try to do it faster. He booked her in for surgery across the road at the private hospital, stayed late  and called in an anaesthetist. The operation to put a stent in was done that evening. After the procedure he explained it all thoroughly to us and said what would have to be done in the future. He took us into the room and showed us the x rays they do through the procedure. He told us what marvelous parents we were (we are normal ones I think). She would have had this same guy for free if we had waited two days!

 

Two weeks later she was stuck in a car on a road trip with her boyfriend when she suffered a terrible attack of pain. He drove her 4 hrs to the nearest public regional hospital. We booked a plane. The whole state was flooding. The young public doctor rang every contact he knew in our nearest capital city while my husband contacted the previous surgeon who was on holiday in a different state. He THANKED my husband for calling and also tried to find a good specialist over the New Year holiday and asked that we keep him informed.

 

The hospital was not flash but they organised to have my daughter airlifted out (that was dodgy - they unhooked all her drips and left her standing on the tarmac for so long in bare feet under the roaring helicopter blades. I had to turn and not look as I was distraught. I'll never forget that sight.) The ambos told us to report it as they were disgusted too. However she arrived on NYE at a private hospital and they'd lured a surgeon who was on holiday to come to do the laparoscopic procedure, by telling him how pretty and slim (operation ease) she was. My brave darling texted me and told me that apparently her gall bladder was 'rotten' and fit for the rubbish bin.

 

We then had to scrounge a flight. Luckliy they put extra planes on as the airport was flooding. The op was delayed so I got back to her just as she was awakening from the anaesthetic. I sang her to sleep.

 

I was glad we had private insurance but I would have paid for the service (the airlift was free) and I have nothing bad to say about the young overworked doctors in that public hospital. They were lovely. One found me crying in the hallway and wanted to make me a cup of tea.

 

So please don't make such sweeping derogatory statements about our public health system because they are not true. The fact they did your blood tests twice is testament to the willingness to accommodate people's fears. There is room for improvement but every single person in Australia can get free treatment in hospitals. I don't think many countries can boast of this!

 

Xana

[[co...]]

I am in agreement with the other posters, this does not sound like cirrhosis at all, and all those symptoms can be either Benzo withdrawal or pyschosomatic.

 

Calm down, and trust the professionals. I know they do have a tendency to put everything down to mental health if you have a history of such, but they would not miss something as serious as that.

 

coots

[[Co...]]

Next morning for me. After my first post. What I see is someone who is falling to paranoia. I think we all understand that. I have learned over the last year that w/d is a beast. It turns you into someone that you do not know. I convinced myself that I was going to lose my job, my house, my family and all my friends. And that I was going to die. When I came here I felt better. I also have every symptom that you have Gussy. But....I understand that you will not feel better until a Dr. sits with you and tells you, one way or another, what your actual diagnosis is.I have raged, broken things, yelled a blue streak to no one and crumbled crying on the couch. Stick it out. Wait for the Dr. and ask the right questions. Don't make yourself sick at heart. I wish you luck with your appt. We are all thinking of you.

[[Gu...]]

All I can do is wait and see what happens at this point I suppose. It really does seems like a liver issue and I don't know what else it could be.

 

Xana I don't have the energy to argue the point but the only good thing about the public healthcare system in Victoria is that its free. I've been to an ER in QLD and it was much better. Google Frankston Hospital ED. Its an lower socio economic demographic with lots of drug addiction. They tend to assume your a junkie and treat you as such (especially if you look the way I do at the moment). There shouldn't be preferrential treatment but in practise those deemed 'undersirable' don't get the same levels of care and are often treated with contempt. The staff are overworked and underpaid but the public healthcare system is not good and I have no confidence in it. If I was in China, for example, where my wife is from I'd have to pay around $50 and get a full work up; blood tests, biopsys, CT scans, etc. Whatever I requested in an international standard hospital in Beijing or Shanghai I mean. They would leave no stone unturned. Here they only did blood tests for me and then decided that was enough and nothing else was needed to save taxpayer dollars despite the fact that severe liver disease sometimes presents with normal lab tests. They clearly couldn't be bothered exploring that option although they had no idea what was wrong with me. They do a complete blood count and if thats ok then out you go. I had mental health issues before which is on their records so they evidently didn't think I was worth much time or effort.

 

So your right Xana. I don't have a lot of time for the public health system here. Better to pay a nominal fee and get expert and thorough treatment than a free system where they're only interested in ascertaining that your not in danger of dying then and there and then discharge you as soon as possible.

 

Then again in the US if you can't pay and you don't have insurance they won't treat you at all.

[[Gu...]]

Thanks ColoradoChick,

                                    I don't like being sick believe me and I'm not trying to attention seek either but I given my history and liver related symptoms I just thought liver disease or cirrhosis was a scientific certainty. The only major symptom of severe liver damage that I don't have is jaundice. Got all the rest of em. I haven't been able to eat all week and yet my belly has swollen up like a balloon. Ever noticed how people with liver disease often have skinny body's and fat bellys. Thats me.

 

Benzo wd can certainly mimic other chronic and serious conditions but not like this. Last week I was relatively ok and on Saturday I drank two beers and took some tylenol, both affect the liver, and by Tuesday I was hit by all the symptoms of liver failure except jaundice.

 

I'm not exaggerating. Its bad. Dr's don't take a lot of notice of someone with previous anxiety issues. Its like the boy who cried wolf.

[[Co...]]

Hi Gussy,

 

I have benzo belly. My belly is also distended. I am thin and at times I look like I am 6 months pregnant. Then it goes away. The roller coaster of benzo w/d is a nightmare. My hope is that you find out just what your ailment is and go from there. I will be thinking of you with the hope that no matter what they hand you, you will find a way to learn to live w it. Stay strong.

[[Sn...]]

Gussy,  I'm going to tell you the same thing you told me,"don't worry you don't have liver disease."  If your liver is seriously compromised  the whites of your eyes would be yellow and so would your skin.  My grandson had jaundice when he was born and his entire body was yellow.  Jaundice even though a problem isn't that serious in that it corrects itself. 

 

As far as appetite goes.  I have that problem also.  I can go several days eating little because not much appetite.  I go to weigh myself no guess what, no weight loss or some gain.  Just had liver tests recently.  All is good.

 

You are freaking out right now because your brain is damaged from the benzos, more specifically the amygdala where fear is generated.  Read  the book "Death Grip"  or Worse than Heroin."  When you see all the symptoms these 2 guys had you will realize that your situation is just benzos.  When the body heals there is pain.  In the I will pray for you.

 

In the book "Worse than Heroin" he tells of his worse symptoms followed by healing.

 

Peace and Blessings

 

Snufi

 

Just hold on.  It will get better.  I

[[Mo...]]

gussy88, the first thing that entered my mind when i read your posts was........

this could have been me speaking 8 months ago.

just like you are describing it , every single word.

but it was wd, these are sxs and i had them all. i am 10 months off now  and

they have gone. i still have plenty of others left ,

but all my tests are ok and i was convinced as well, i must have LIVER CIRRHOSIS.

 

[[Ch...]]

There's only one positive if I am diagnosed with cirrhosis. I will have nothing to lose so I may as well go back on the benzo's after going through what I did to get off them.

 

Life sure has a sick sense of humour, doesn't it?

 

Chinook what makes you think its not my liver? Looking back it was never benzo wd.

 

I didn't say it's not your liver. I can't see you and I don't know, but I think if your liver enzymes tested within the reference range it is probably safe to assume that your liver is okay.

 

 

[[mi...]]

I think you are being too paranoid and over reacting over a health issue that you probably do not have.

This is the exact reason why I ended up on benzos and this whole hell.

If this is all you think about you are forcing your self to feel worse and be sick.

 

You have done the tests multiple times and all is normal. Go easy on your self my friend.

[[In...]]

There's only one positive if I am diagnosed with cirrhosis. I will have nothing to lose so I may as well go back on the benzo's after going through what I did to get off them.

 

Benzos won't help cirrhosis, no need to go back on if benzo w/d was never the problem all along. They may even be more harmful if your liver isn't working properly. Another reason to stay away from valium.

[[Te...]]

I think this is a serious case of mindf**king and paranoia, and possibly someone looking for an excuse or rationalization to resume eating benzos.

 

Gussy, I hope you stay off benzos and work through this. Obviously paranoia has taken hold of you, which is a very common benzo w/d and you are just mindf**king this to the max. Relax, you're being kind of melodramatic and over-reacting, which will only serve to increase your paranoia. You're not going to die from this...

 

[[Fl...]]

Gussy,

 

3 months off is prime time for acute wd. I was out of my mind at that time. Paranoia, hypochodria, obsessive thoughts....I was a mess. I was convinced that whatever worst case scenario could happen was going to happen. I even started giving away my possessions!

 

Benzo wd can totally hijack your rational thought process.

[[Co...]]

I hate to say that it's all withdrawal, but your tests are coming back normal or not very abnormal. Already your doc and the ER docs are not convinced you have a liver problem. Do you have any yellowing skin? Jaundice is a tell tale sign of liver failure.

 

Now here's my theory: you had alcohol during benzo withdrawal and screwed up your nervous system, causing an abnormally bad wave. As long as your blood work is normal and multiple doctors are saying your liver is fine, I say it sounds like its fine. Of course get it thoroughly checked out if it concerns you, but it sounds like so far there aren't many signs pointing to any damage.

 

In the meantime, Tylenol can be toxic with even the slightest overdose. I refuse to take it at all. It's a very dangerous drug. It really does a number on your liver. Talk to your doctor about stopping it. Also, for the love of god, stop drinking!! Even a tiny amount can send you into a massive wave. Alcohol is very disruptive during withdrawal!

 

Keep us updated!

[[Ch...]]

Hi Gussy,

 

Are you okay today? I'm a bit worried about you.

Maybe I'm wrong to be worried, could be that you're just busy with your family.

I do hope you're feeling better and a bit more reassured about things. It's tough, I know.

 

Chinook

[[Co...]]

Hey Gussy,

 

R you doing ok? Would like to hear that you are in a better place in your mind. I had a really tough start today but am feeling better. We get it. We know that this is not easy and there are bad spots for all of us. Let us know that you are ok. We care.

[Guest [...]]

Tex 67:

I think this is a serious case of mindf**king and paranoia, and possibly someone looking for an excuse or rationalization to resume eating benzos.

 

Gussy, I hope you stay off benzos and work through this. Obviously paranoia has taken hold of you, which is a very common benzo w/d and you are just mindf**king this to the max. Relax, you're being kind of melodramatic and over-reacting, which will only serve to increase your paranoia. You're not going to die from this...

 

If someone said this to me, I wouldn't be coming back either. Maybe it is not Gussy who is the one 'mindf**king to the max'. Just saying...

 

[[Mo...]]

Tex 67:

I think this is a serious case of mindf**king and paranoia, and possibly someone looking for an excuse or rationalization to resume eating benzos.

 

Gussy, I hope you stay off benzos and work through this. Obviously paranoia has taken hold of you, which is a very common benzo w/d and you are just mindf**king this to the max. Relax, you're being kind of melodramatic and over-reacting, which will only serve to increase your paranoia. You're not going to die from this...

 

If someone said this to me, I wouldn't be coming back either. Maybe it is not Gussy who is the one 'mindf**king to the max'. Just saying...

 

 

yeah, i was thinking the same. what kind of support is this ?

its really stupid and makes me angry.

gussy you will be all right again , this is only temporary ..........ignore stupid replys please.

[[Gu...]]

Hi everyone,

                    I was really touched to log back on and find that people were concerned about me. I thank you all. However its not good. I've been virtually bedridden with all the tell tale signs of serious liver damage. This isn't psychosomatic, its real and I'm scared. I've been extremely nauseas but unable to vomit, absolutely exhausted and unable to eat. The worst thing is the confusion or brain fog which is common with cirrhosis when its advanced. I feel totally out of it. The breathing issues are getting worse and that is also very common in end stage liver disease. The only thing I haven't done is turn yellow but not everyone does. I went to the Dr yesterday and he said its possible to have serious liver damage with normal blood tests. Apparently in end stage liver disease the liver stops producing enzymes and the test results return to normal. He wants to repeat the tests however. Its not certain but its likely. Especially given my history of alcohol and drug abuse. Sad thing is I reformed and haven't done that in years but the damage may have been done. I don't have the energy to play with my son and its heartbreaking.

 

I feel like a fool for traversing BB all year when its likely that benzo wd was never the issue. I haven't been well all year and attributed it to valium cessation but liver disease will do that to you. I now wish it was the benzo's as that would be self limiting whereas liver cirrhosis is universally fatal. I just knew it was more than benzo's.

 

Nothing has been diagnosed yet but its not looking good. Thanks for all the support I've received here and even if I am suffering from severe liver dysfunction not benzo wd you are all my friends.

[[Gu...]]

BTW I haven't totally closed the door on all this being benzo related (mainly because you guys seem convinced) but if it is I'll be stunned that any drug wd could cause such an intense phenomena. I mean I knew benzo wd is bad but this is just ridiculous

 

Feels like I've totally lost my marbles and have liver disease to rub salt into the wound.

[[Mo...]]

this drug is so phenomenal........that anything is possible.