Can someone explain how your wrinkles look on your face from withdraw

[[er...]]

I'm really sorry, towards...do whatever you need to do to get through this period.    It will pass!

 

I've aged at least 5 years, no joke, since I started w/d.  It's not just me because other people have noticed that I look different too.  Dry sagging skin, dry hair...it's all bad.  But the most important thing is to get off the benzos, and then start recovery.  I am hopeful that some of this will reverse itself.

 

 

Matamutegirl - Yes they say it will pass I am trying to distract myself through the process...... I hope my wig helps....

 

 

Love and light

Towards

 

 

 

Towards

face will get better . I age like hell too , and face saged , even give me turkey neck , never have that in life , nor my granny in 80 s . But  IS GETTING BETTER .

My hair stop grow for a year , now started grow again . HAIR WILL GET BETTER TOO .

Only no  change benzo belly , still  disgusting . Cannot go beach , public in swimsuit , look  like deformed . 

[Guest [to...]]

I'm really sorry, towards...do whatever you need to do to get through this period.    It will pass!

 

I've aged at least 5 years, no joke, since I started w/d.  It's not just me because other people have noticed that I look different too.  Dry sagging skin, dry hair...it's all bad.  But the most important thing is to get off the benzos, and then start recovery.  I am hopeful that some of this will reverse itself.

 

 

Matamutegirl - Yes they say it will pass I am trying to distract myself through the process...... I hope my wig helps....

 

 

Love and light

Towards

 

 

 

Towards

face will get better . I age like hell too , and face saged , even give me turkey neck , never have that in life , nor my granny in 80 s . But  IS GETTING BETTER .

My hair stop grow for a year , now started grow again . HAIR WILL GET BETTER TOO .

Only no  change benzo belly , still  disgusting . Cannot go beach , public in swimsuit , look  like deformed . 

 

 

Erika,

 

 

I am so glad you are starting to physically heal    it must be helping your self esteem immensely.   

It is a cruel thing to happen to us women.

 

 

[[kl...]]

Does collagen actually return to normal and do we actually regain our losses? Anyone on the other side please tell of your experience? Will my lips and skin be this saggy forever? I am only 24.

[[er...]]

Does collagen actually return to normal and do we actually regain our losses? Anyone on the other side please tell of your experience? Will my lips and skin be this saggy forever? I am only 24.

 

 

 

Klonodan

My face and lips  sagged also . All face shifted  down , boobs , arms , stomach , legs , butt , all muscles  gone over less then a month.

Because we all have the same symptoms this must be part of W/D , and will get better and with time we going to look  like before .

You only 24 , dont; you worry , you will have your look back , we all .

Just take long time .

My face slowly coming back , very slowly and my hair started grow  2 weeks ago , after year no grow .

I believe , but will take time . When we feel better , no stress , looks will come back . :smitten: :smitten:Erika

[[Ho...]]

Rats, i just typed a whole long thing and accidentally deleted it!

Anyway, I just wanted to say that this can't be irreversible aging. I don't even think it's aging at all. It's symptoms that imitate aging. The sagging skin, loss of collagen/elasticity, hair loss and muscle wasting is what happens when the body is under unrelenting stress. But we are gradually normalizing. It's just going to take time.

 

I think the nonlinear nature of our healing is confusing. I'm afraid to even mention this because I don't know if it's temporary, but my super dark circles are slightly lighter. I still have sunken in orbitals as all the collagen is gone from under my skin, but my skin pigment seems to be slightly improved. I hope I didn't just jinx it like I did that month when my hair stopped falling. Sadly that was just a window. Now I have to brush my hair over the garbage can every morning. I'm proud of the little hairs on my head that are still hanging on for dear life. They don't want to give up without a fight.

 

Hang on my buddies. Don't lose hope. 

[Guest [to...]]

Dear Hope ,

 

 

I took a leaf out of Erika's book and bought a wig and a new winter hat!!!!!!! I have my wig in about 1 week 

Wigs are soooo much cheaper online than in the shops.

 

 

Towards xx

[[Ho...]]

Dear Hope ,

 

 

I took a leaf out of Erika's book and bought a wig and a new winter hat!!!!!!! I have my wig in about 1 week 

Wigs are soooo much cheaper online than in the shops.

 

 

Towards xx

 

Let me know how you like it. I hope it looks beautiful. 

[[Ho...]]

I am having a terrible day today. I found a photo of myself taken about 10 months ago. I took another of me today. Its shocking. I did a side by side comparison andIi looked so haggard and sick now I can't even believe my eyes. I'm so sad and depressed. I can't get out of bed. I was supposed to visit my aunt today for mothers day . She has not seen me in a year. I made up a story because I'm too ashamed to let her see me this way.  I sent both photos to my father. He said he's praying for me. The saddness I'm feeling is imeasrable. I'm starting to doubt that I will ever be me again. I want that fresh faced girl back. I want to be me again. Not this shriveled up old monster I've become.

[[er...]]

I am having a terrible day today. I found a photo of myself taken about 10 months ago. I took another of me today. Its shocking. I did a side by side comparison andIi looked so haggard and sick now I can't even believe my eyes. I'm so sad and depressed. I can't get out of bed. I was supposed to visit my aunt today for mothers day . She has not seen me in a year. I made up a story because I'm too ashamed to let her see me this way.  I sent both photos to my father. He said he's praying for me. The saddness I'm feeling is imeasrable. I'm starting to doubt that I will ever be me again. I want that fresh faced girl back. I want to be me again. Not this shriveled up old monster I've become.

 

 

 

Hope ,

I took picture with my phone today , face down , and my skin sagged so low , is horrible .

We have to look back to normal , because i said this before  , was working in hotel , have many regular customers , if somebody  have death or  divorce etc in family , look absolutely horrible , all face only skin and bones . After stress was over , they look even better then before .

I look little better , but stil horrible if look pictures year ago .

We went trough sooo much stress for soooo long , of course affect us .

But when we feel better , all muscles will come back .

I lost even lips , all muscles from face , is horrible how this can happened  and basicaly over night .

But b/c we all have the same wil get better , i believe .

I know how you feel , because I feel the same . Depressed when look my pictures from year ago . This happened like over 2 weeks to month . Muscle collapse , is for sure benzo thing , because we all have that if you 20 , 30 , or 70 . Just happened .

Must be better , i dont' want to live if this is  how I going to look .

But I believe , b/c we all have this . Like all w. symptoms  slowly go away , this will go too .  Love Erika  Believe and HOPE .

[Guest [to...]]

Erika and Hope,

 

 

I hope this will get better soon.  I'm going to mothers day lunch with hardly any hair.  It  looks and feels disgusting, sagging, wrinkled  dry, wobbly skin that is now covered in a sores that wont heal!!!!  My appearance is getting worse not better!!!!!! I pray we all turn a corner soon.

 

 

Much love Towards.

[[Ho...]]

Hi Erika and Towards

Thank you for being so supportive. I really think of you as my friends even though we've never met. We all know each others suffering better than anyone else. I'll keep you in my prayers. I want us to make it through this and regain our lives back. 

[[Ga...]]

I am having a terrible day today. I found a photo of myself taken about 10 months ago. I took another of me today. Its shocking. I did a side by side comparison andIi looked so haggard and sick now I can't even believe my eyes. I'm so sad and depressed. I can't get out of bed. I was supposed to visit my aunt today for mothers day . She has not seen me in a year. I made up a story because I'm too ashamed to let her see me this way.  I sent both photos to my father. He said he's praying for me. The saddness I'm feeling is imeasrable. I'm starting to doubt that I will ever be me again. I want that fresh faced girl back. I want to be me again. Not this shriveled up old monster I've become.

 

i feel same way:(

i wish i could hide out tomorrow.

sagging started overnight 20 mo ago.

[[er...]]

I am having a terrible day today. I found a photo of myself taken about 10 months ago. I took another of me today. Its shocking. I did a side by side comparison andIi looked so haggard and sick now I can't even believe my eyes. I'm so sad and depressed. I can't get out of bed. I was supposed to visit my aunt today for mothers day . She has not seen me in a year. I made up a story because I'm too ashamed to let her see me this way.  I sent both photos to my father. He said he's praying for me. The saddness I'm feeling is imeasrable. I'm starting to doubt that I will ever be me again. I want that fresh faced girl back. I want to be me again. Not this shriveled up old monster I've become.

 

i feel same way:(

i wish i could hide out tomorrow.

sagging started overnight 20 mo ago.

 

 

Gardenia , Hope , Towards , all ladies  who dealing  with this .

 

Me too year ago  2 weeks  period of time , over night , all muscles just

dropped .

We must get better , because we all have the same looks , if 20 years age or 50 .

We must get back to normal .

I cannot believed 20 years old  people quit benzo , get saggy face , no muscles etc over night , and stay like that  for rest their lifes ?  Cannot be truth .

WE HAVE TO GET BACK MUSCLES , WE WILL . I believe , for all of us . We all went tru hell and  lost looks  also is way too much . We have to get back to normal and we will . :smitten: Erika

[[Ho...]]

Yes, my looks changed in a period of 2 weeks to 1 month too. Its only gotten worse since then. I thought one of my eyes looked less sunken in last week. Maybe its still less sunken but who cares. I still look like crap.

[[ch...]]

I have also wrinkled overnight and my skin feels very slick like Patton leather.

Does anyone else have very smooth slick skin?

[[pr...]]

i am in my first long depression and don't have a clue to what is going on these days. i am 13 months and i know i still look sickly and awful and i don't think i even look in the mirror anymore. my brain is putting down a pressure that is beyond excruciating. i thought i was going to turn a corner at 13 months and seems like things are getting worse. i still can't get out of bed all day.

 

but i do think this Phytoharmony moisturizer from Cosmedix is saving my skin. it has a slight AHA in it so it just slightly slough's off the dead skin. it has DHEA so it plumps up the skin and glutathione an antioxidant. other than that i don't know what is going on lately and this is scaring me.

 

i hope things change for everyone soon. i certainly can't take this for very much longer but looks as though i may not have any choice. how much strength does God link we have?

 

good luck ladies and Happy Mother's Day to all the mother's. i think i am sad because i am out of denial that i never had nor will ever have the kind of mother i always needed and would like to have now. we are not talking and i am living here with her. :'(

[Guest [Be...]]

I'm sorry you're having a bad time at the moment Pretty. Mother's Day in the UK is in March but I still have my cards on display! I'm and old softie 

 

On the subject of this thread, as I've recovered I seem to look so much better. I'm a bit tanned because we had some sun recently so that helps but I do wonder if it's also the way we perceive ourselves in withdrawal. If we feel rough we think we look ghastly but if we feel reasonably well we see ourselves as younger and healthier. At the moment, for me, the feeling of needing a face lift has gone and I think I may just age gracefully because I'm quite good for nearly 68  I may change my mind tomorrow of course!

[[Ho...]]

Pretty

I have a smiliar situation with my mother, so I know how you feel. I haven't spoken to her in 12 years. She has no love for me or my sister (we are her only children). Sadly, she's unstable. She could pass for normal, but we know better. I'm lucky though because I have other people in my love who love and respect me.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with the w/d. You're not alone though. We're suffering too. My hope is that we are all on the road to recovery. If you saw my thread, I spoke about the photo I took today. I took it at the same location as a photo taken 10 months earlier. Both my father and boyfriend we saddened by it. They could clearly see that I aged 10 years. If there was any doubt in their mind before it's gone now. My boyfriend tells me he loves me no matter what. He says my appearance isn't what made him fall in love with me. I feel sad though because I want to be pretty for him. I don't want him to be ashamed of me and embarassed to introduce me to people. What man would want a haggard, bald old woman hanging on his arm. :(

[[er...]]

Yes, my looks changed in a period of 2 weeks to 1 month too. Its only gotten worse since then. I thought one of my eyes looked less sunken in last week. Maybe its still less sunken but who cares. I still look like crap.

 

 

 

Hope see we all have the same symptoms  and looks .  I am 22 months off some days I look like before , and next day back to sag.  I dont' lost hair [ have lots of always] just little , but my hair is like mop [zero movement ].  I wearing  hat or wig , never go out with my hair .  I am shame go anywhere too , because of muscles colapse . Turkey neck is little less .

We going to get better , again with  TIME .

I know how hard is to live like this .

When finally after mental and physical  torture  is little less  , looks  are gone .

Benzo is the worst evil ever. Affect every cell in our system .

But we  make tru benzo w/d and we going to make tru this too .

We very slowly will look back to normal .

Maybe will take a year , i dont' know , but we going to have muscles back .

I was so puffy on Clon , face , no wrinkle , like baby face , because of sodium in benzo .. When we stop benzo i believe sodium  is out from body , so all muscles full of salt now just crash .

And we have to wait until  they grow back again . And that take time .

I look horrible too , but hair started grow again  , is good sign .

Erika

[[Ho...]]

Erika

Everything you say sounds logical. I know it has to be true.....I've said it myself a million times. I guess it's hard to see the forest through the trees sometimes. I had a terrible day yesterday. Couldn't get out of bed. I haven't eaten anything for over 24 hours. I was so depressed that I had no appetite. On a positive note, I don't have a bloated painful stomach today. I guess the trick is not eating any food. Can't pull that off for too long though! I'm going to eat something today. I'm cosidering starting the all raw diet again. I feel like it helps me. It's hard to maintian though....and sometimes I lose too much weight. I'll let you know how I do.

 

I'm glad your having some good days and that your hair is going back to normal. xxooxx

[Guest [to...]]

Hello Ladies,

 

 

Erika - thank you thank you for your words of wisdom on this thread ..... we sure do need to hear how wonderful it is that your hair had started to grow back.  I wish the rest of you recovers very soon.  I do have a question for you though.......  The new hair that is growing back...... Is it the same colour and texture that it was before benzo?

 

 

Beth - How wonderful to hear you have recovered so quickly ........ bless you ......... It was Mothers Day here in Australia on Sunday, I treasure the card I received also.

 

 

Hope - I understand the depression attached to the loss of our looks..... I am really glad your father and boyfriend love you unconditionally.... try to remember that love in times of despair as hard as it is.

 

 

Pretty - A big hug for you.... lord knows you deserve one...... I am going to buy Phytoharmony in the next few days... thank you for your kind advise.

 

 

Chuck - I get the leather face thing too..... right after that all the skin on my face peels off!!!!! yes it is really gross..... its like the souls and heals of my feet they also crack and peel.

 

 

 

 

I have been very depressed for the last few days among other things.... thank you all for being here.

 

 

Much love and healing ladies,

 

 

Towards.

[[Ho...]]

Towards - thank you for the kind words. You're right. I've had some hard knocks in my life, but I'm beyond blessed to have loved ones who care about me and are supporting me during this terrible time. I can't lose site of that. Many of us are struggling through this with the added burden of family and friends who don't undersand. I think at first my father didn't realize the gravity of benzo withdrawal, but he's read every article I've sent him and has become as knowledgable as all of us. He always reminds me that it's going to take time. That's pretty much the benzo buddy mantra.

Stay strong. I really believe that we will heal in time. This journey is going to be a long and painful one.

 

[[pr...]]

Pretty

I have a smiliar situation with my mother, so I know how you feel. I haven't spoken to her in 12 years. She has no love for me or my sister (we are her only children). Sadly, she's unstable. She could pass for normal, but we know better. I'm lucky though because I have other people in my love who love and respect me.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with the w/d. You're not alone though. We're suffering too. My hope is that we are all on the road to recovery. If you saw my thread, I spoke about the photo I took today. I took it at the same location as a photo taken 10 months earlier. Both my father and boyfriend we saddened by it. They could clearly see that I aged 10 years. If there was any doubt in their mind before it's gone now. My boyfriend tells me he loves me no matter what. He says my appearance isn't what made him fall in love with me. I feel sad though because I want to be pretty for him. I don't want him to be ashamed of me and embarassed to introduce me to people. What man would want a haggard, bald old woman hanging on his arm. :(

 

Hope,

 

i didn't see your thread but i would like to. can you copy the link and post it here? i am so sick right now i don't know if i can find anything. my mother could pass for normal too but i don't think she is. i didn't really realize until recently that i have been dealing with one of the most narcissistic, childish mother ever. and because of that i haven't really eaten that much in a week since she is still mad. i am still not able to get up during the day to make my own food. i make some but i am still so sick.

 

i feel like i am truly going through this withdrawal all alone and during my shower tonight i was so saddened by that thought that i was burning up and i KNOW that i would have felt so much better if i just had some kindness and compassion for all that i am going through.

 

at least you have people in your life that love you. i don't have one friend anymore. i don't have one person. i haven't had a boyfriend in over ten years! i don't know how much longer i want to go on like this and i am still too sick to make my own food.

 

by the way, if you go on a raw diet totally that could make you detox way more so try having some cooked foods with the raw. it could affect the benzo w/d and you don't need anymore waves. (just my one cent)

 

i'm sorry about the picture. i've seen photos of myself recently and it's frightening. i won't do that to myself anymore. i don't know what it's going to take to get well and i don't know how much longer i can take this?  i just started a thread about how sad i am and that i may die from lack of food. i hate the fact that i am still bed ridden and she knows this.

 

i'm going to have to write a letter to my father (who lives here) because that is how this family works, they can't communicate and everything gets done by letters. isn't that awful? so i will have to write him a note about what is happening since he doesn't know, only because he's in denial. i've already told him a million times. i am reading two books on the subject so i hope they help me.

 

anyway, sorry for the rant. just really sad tonight--and hungry. i made oatmeal but i am sick of oatmeal.

 

things will get better! our looks will come back and we will be shining brightly! (i want a boyfriend) oh, and i really believe that any man will love the woman he is with no matter what she looks like, no matter the age. i've just started to come to believe that in this withdrawal as klonopin always had me believing the opposite!

 

love, pretty

[[er...]]

Hello Ladies,

 

 

Erika - thank you thank you for your words of wisdom on this thread ..... we sure do need to hear how wonderful it is that your hair had started to grow back.  I wish the rest of you recovers very soon.  I do have a question for you though.......  The new hair that is growing back...... Is it the same colour and texture that it was before benzo?

 

 

Beth - How wonderful to hear you have recovered so quickly ........ bless you ......... It was Mothers Day here in Australia on Sunday, I treasure the card I received also.

 

 

Hope - I understand the depression attached to the loss of our looks..... I am really glad your father and boyfriend love you unconditionally.... try to remember that love in times of despair as hard as it is.

 

 

Pretty - A big hug for you.... lord knows you deserve one...... I am going to buy Phytoharmony in the next few days... thank you for your kind advise.

 

 

Chuck - I get the leather face thing too..... right after that all the skin on my face peels off!!!!! yes it is really gross..... its like the souls and heals of my feet they also crack and peel.

 

 

 

 

I have been very depressed for the last few days among other things.... thank you all for being here.

 

 

Much love and healing ladies,

 

 

Towards.

 

 

 

 

Hi Towards , the hair is nice gray  :D,  , tinner then normally . My hair before was light brown  and very strong .

Love Erika :smitten: :smitten:

[[Ho...]]

Pretty

I have a smiliar situation with my mother, so I know how you feel. I haven't spoken to her in 12 years. She has no love for me or my sister (we are her only children). Sadly, she's unstable. She could pass for normal, but we know better. I'm lucky though because I have other people in my love who love and respect me.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time with the w/d. You're not alone though. We're suffering too. My hope is that we are all on the road to recovery. If you saw my thread, I spoke about the photo I took today. I took it at the same location as a photo taken 10 months earlier. Both my father and boyfriend we saddened by it. They could clearly see that I aged 10 years. If there was any doubt in their mind before it's gone now. My boyfriend tells me he loves me no matter what. He says my appearance isn't what made him fall in love with me. I feel sad though because I want to be pretty for him. I don't want him to be ashamed of me and embarassed to introduce me to people. What man would want a haggard, bald old woman hanging on his arm. :(

 

Hope,

 

i didn't see your thread but i would like to. can you copy the link and post it here? i am so sick right now i don't know if i can find anything. my mother could pass for normal too but i don't think she is. i didn't really realize until recently that i have been dealing with one of the most narcissistic, childish mother ever. and because of that i haven't really eaten that much in a week since she is still mad. i am still not able to get up during the day to make my own food. i make some but i am still so sick.

 

i feel like i am truly going through this withdrawal all alone and during my shower tonight i was so saddened by that thought that i was burning up and i KNOW that i would have felt so much better if i just had some kindness and compassion for all that i am going through.

 

at least you have people in your life that love you. i don't have one friend anymore. i don't have one person. i haven't had a boyfriend in over ten years! i don't know how much longer i want to go on like this and i am still too sick to make my own food.

 

by the way, if you go on a raw diet totally that could make you detox way more so try having some cooked foods with the raw. it could affect the benzo w/d and you don't need anymore waves. (just my one cent)

 

i'm sorry about the picture. i've seen photos of myself recently and it's frightening. i won't do that to myself anymore. i don't know what it's going to take to get well and i don't know how much longer i can take this?  i just started a thread about how sad i am and that i may die from lack of food. i hate the fact that i am still bed ridden and she knows this.

 

i'm going to have to write a letter to my father (who lives here) because that is how this family works, they can't communicate and everything gets done by letters. isn't that awful? so i will have to write him a note about what is happening since he doesn't know, only because he's in denial. i've already told him a million times. i am reading two books on the subject so i hope they help me.

 

anyway, sorry for the rant. just really sad tonight--and hungry. i made oatmeal but i am sick of oatmeal.

 

things will get better! our looks will come back and we will be shining brightly! (i want a boyfriend) oh, and i really believe that any man will love the woman he is with no matter what she looks like, no matter the age. i've just started to come to believe that in this withdrawal as klonopin always had me believing the opposite!

 

love, pretty

 

Hi Pretty

I wish so much that I could give you a big hug and prepare a meal for you that you will really love. You are such a sweetheart and you deserve love and support.  I hate that you are suffering through this terrible withdrawal and your mother is too self-absorbed to help you.  I know what it’s like to have a narcissist, childish mother. My father was wonderful to my sister and me but when we were children he worked at a job that was over 50 miles away from us, so we really only saw him on the weekend. My mother hated being a parent and she took her frustration out on us every day. She was violent and cruel. She got much worse after my parents divorced and what’s even worse is my father only had visitation every other week. My mother made sure of that in court. She resented my father and wanted to make him suffer.  I lived at home until I was in my late 20’s. When I became an adult I wasn’t afraid of her anymore and her BS had very little effect on me. I was self-reliant and I was only staying at home to save on rent. I moved out when my fiancée (now ex-husband) and I bought our first house.  I can’t imagine how it would have been to be living with her if I was suffering from Benzo w/d. It would have been an utter nightmare. 

 

You are 100% right about the raw food diet causing detox.  I did the diet for about 2 months over the winter. I had some heightened symptoms while I was on it but it wasn’t too much to take. I had awful emotional and psychological symptoms at the start of my w/d but they became more manageable after the first 3 months. I’m at 9 months now and I’m struggling mainly with insomnia, night time cortisol shocks and all the ugly physical symptoms I’ve described.  In the beginning I think I had every symptom in the book, but I guess I’m fortunate to have weathered that.

Tell me about how your feeling. Are you weak? How do you feel when you try to get out of bed to make food. I’m so pissed at your mother for not caring for you. It’s amazing how heartless some people can be. Sometimes people are shocked about the stories I tell about my mother. They can’t wrap their minds around how a person could have no love for their children. I’m reminded of my mother’s attempts to be nice. For example, if there was every an occasion where there were 2 cookies left or 2 of anything, she wouldn’t give one to me and one to my sister. She would take one and split the other for my sister and I to share. It’s seems like such a minor thing but in fact it’s very telling about the way a person see’s themselves in the world. She wasn’t a momma bird protecting her flock. She was caring for herself and we were after thoughts. Honestly, whenever I feel sorry for myself, I thank God it wasn’t worse. There are tons of children who are lucky to make it out of their families alive. I know that’s pretty sucky when that’s all you have to compare to, but it does help me gain perspective. I think my rotten experiences made me the person I am today and I pray that I’m never at anyone’s mercy again.

Regarding your meals. Is it at all possible to order delivery…like pizza or Chinese food? I know it’s not the healthiest but it would save you from having to get up and prepare it in the kitchen where your mother lurks? Do you have an appetite for that type of food?

I think that’s a good idea to write a letter to your father. Strangely my family is a little like that too. I’ve received letters from my father and I’ve written a few to him.

I know that when you get back into the world you’re going to find love. You’re such a kind, soulful person, I can’t imagine you being alone for long. You and I haven’t even met and I consider you my friend. Don’t ever worry about rants. If you’ve got a rant, I’ve got 10 to fire right back at you.

Love , Hope