PLEASE DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL WHEN YOU FEEL RECOVERED

[[Bo...]]

I often wonder if and when it will be safe to have a few drinks. It's not a major part of my life but I did enjoy drinking with friends and family from time to time. I think it's important for all of us to realize everyone's different. Whoopsie's signature states she was on some sort of drug cocktail for 20 years. I'm sure this had something to do with the trouble she had.

 

Whoopsie I hope you're feeling better soon. I hate that this happened to you.

[[su...]]

Wow - that's why I went to a detox...I drank and became VIOLENT.  I later found out that benzos and alcohol don't mix well.  I wanted to stop taking klonopin but learned I couldn't do it alone.  Never drink and take a benzo.  It's a deadly combination.  Has anyone experienced severe memory loss?  Scattered thinking?  Forgetting what you're doing or saying from one second/minute to the next?  Will I ever be myself again???

[[...]]

Yes, I sometimes forget what I've said from one moment to the next Sorry!

[[Sk...]]

No more drinks for me AT  ALL! EVER! 

[[Fl...]]

My situation is kind of strange.

 

I drank more than I ever have in my life while I was on clonazepam (now I realize that my body was trying to compensate for tolerance wd) and I continued to drink after I jumped. As the months went by I stopped drinking a couple of times and didn't notice any kind of positive or negative change in my wd symptoms. As time went on I drank less and less, and by 18months off I was starting to lose the desire to drink. My tolerance also became lower.

 

As I approached the two year mark my tolerate for alcohol was very low and I started to have some adverse reactions when I drank. It started messing up my sleep, giving me scary dreams, and making me feel iffy the next day. Nowadays I can drink one beer without a problem, so I have one every couple of weeks or so and that's that. I like to drink and I LOVE microbrews, but feeling good is just too precious these days.

 

I wonder if these severe reactions to alcohol happen more often to people who almost never drink. In other words, If you do drink every now and then maybe this wouldn't happen?

[[Ho...]]

My situation is kind of strange.

 

I drank more than I ever have in my life while I was on clonazepam (now I realize that my body was trying to compensate for tolerance wd) and I continued to drink after I jumped. As the months went by I stopped drinking a couple of times and didn't notice any kind of positive or negative change in my wd symptoms. As time went on I drank less and less, and by 18months off I was starting to lose the desire to drink. My tolerance also became lower.

 

As I approached the two year mark my tolerate for alcohol was very low and I started to have some adverse reactions when I drank. It started messing up my sleep, giving me scary dreams, and making me feel iffy the next day. Nowadays I can drink one beer without a problem, so I have one every couple of weeks or so and that's that. I like to drink and I LOVE microbrews, but feeling good is just too precious these days.

 

I wonder if these severe reactions to alcohol happen more often to people who almost never drink. In other words, If you do drink every now and then maybe this wouldn't happen?

 

 

Same way here man. I was drinking like a fish during tolerance. I never even liked vodka, yet somehow ended up on 1-2 pints a day for a good year!!!

 

I had some wine (about 12 ounces)  back during a long window and it didnt bother me a bit.

 

[[Fl...]]

Same way here man. I was drinking like a fish during tolerance. I never even liked vodka, yet somehow ended up on 1-2 pints a day for a good year!!!

 

I was always a beer guy. Maybe two per day. But somehow, at some point in time I got started on vodka. And as far as I can remember it was right about the time I started the clonazepam. At first it was vodka tonic, then later it was vodka grapefruit. (As some of you may know grapefruit changes the way benzos are processed in your body, either increasing the half life or intensifying the effect, I don't remember which). I never drank a pint or two a day but I did get up to a 1.75 liter every couple of weeks.

 

After I got off the drug my taste for alcohol started changing. I started to prefer beer again. Eventually it got to the point where I had no desire to drink vodka. I haven't had any for awhile. Nowadays a good beer is the pinnacle of enjoyment for me. When I was drinking vodka I never realized how much I would appreciate one tasty beer or how good it would make me feel when it was only a one beer every couple of weeks kind of thing.

 

No way that was a coincidence that we were both drinking a ton of vodka when we were on the drug. Amazing how my tolerance went through the roof when I was on the drug and then back down again as wd subsided.  I remember distinctly how I was fine with 2-3 beers MAX before I knew what  benzo was. It sucks you in like a black hole. Right now I can't tolerate 3 beers but I have a feeling that once this is all said and done I will be right back to being fine with 2 or 3.

[[Ho...]]

Yea that was me. I was a beer connoisseur, particularly imports from Germany and Belgium. Now I did enjoy a pint of bourbon on the weekends. Pretty much never drank vodka. Like you said, I think I started drinking to compensate for tolerance. Those 1-2 pints a day were NOT getting me drunk. Just buzzed. I get disgusted just thinking about how much I drank..UGHH

[[Fl...]]

Those 1-2 pints a day were NOT getting me drunk. Just buzzed.

 

It doesn't seem possible but my tolerance went through the roof while I was on the med. It must have to do with the down regulation that occurs from benzo use. When I started to lose my taste for alcohol (at least in larger quantities) my tolerance went way down. When I started to lose my tolerance 2-3 drinks would make me feel like 8 used to while on the drug.

 

 

[[ar...]]

I have heard this same type of alcohol story a number of times...

 

Someone told me a friend of hers was benzo free for 4 years and ingested alcohol and the reaction was so  bad that he reinstated.  I know of another woman who did a very slow taper and felt healed at 5 months off and had one beer during a night out with her husband and reinstated.

 

As for myself, I was benzo free for 2 years and about 85% recovered.  I'm not exactly sure what happened to me...it was sort of a perfect storm of stressors...I was in a wave and started to react to foods I never had any problems with even during tapering and all the healing up to that point.  I also took a few supplements, felt reactions to those and felt more fatigue than usual.  I also took a long road trip to visit my daughter and had some stressful events happen during that time including reactions to MSG due to having to eat out.  This may sound unbelievable but the real thing that started this all (when I thought back, trying to figure it all out) was that I went out to dinner for my anniversary and ate some Irish lamb stew...come to find out the Irish lamb stew was made with Guinness beer added at the END of cooking for flavor.  I became so ill with symptoms I never even had before (in all that time tapering and healing!) that I reinstated in the ER...I was in VERY bad shape and believe me, I had told myself I would NEVER reinstate a benzo even if I were dying!  It is heartbreaking to say the least...I have to do a taper all over again and of course I'm more sensitive to the drug now. 

 

I'm very glad that Whoopsie has warned others of this possibility and that she has been strong enough not to reinstate the drug!  8 months is a long time...I hope that she comes out of her wave very soon.

 

I personally will probably never touch another drop of alcohol in my life...It is obvious we are all different and apparently some of us can handle it.  But I agree that our CNS is still healing even when we think we are healed.  From reading so much on all these forums I really believe the healing time is much longer than we think...more in the 3 to 5 year range...as someone mentioned their naturopathic doctor said.  Apparently the CNS needs a lot of time to come back to homeostasis.

 

archerblue

[[ce...]]

I just feel it's so important to offer this warning in a strong way to folks here on BB.  I was finally recovered at 37 months off.  I went on a holiday to a tropical island to celebrate.  Towards the end of a two week vacation I had 2 1/2 drinks of alcohol.  That was a huge mistake and I've been in a terrible setback ever since ... 8 months later and still quite sick.

 

I know of this happening to a few others as well.  When you get feeling good again and are happy and enjoying life please don't sabotage it by having a drink.  I totally understand why people do it, you're feeling free and a part of normal life again finally after such a long and horrific illness.

 

Please remember this warning when you recover, which you will, in time.

I'm sorry to hear this happened to you, but this seems very uncommon.

 

I was able to have alcohol to celebrate my 1 year anniversary off benzo's and had no trouble at all.  I've known others who do okay having a drink after a few months being off benzo's. 

 

Hope you feel well soon. 

[[ce...]]

I wonder if we ever get to a point where we CAN Do these things? Will we forever have a sensitive cns?

 

Janedoe.  Yes, we can get to a point where we can live normal healthy lives again.  I believe my CNS is stronger than it ever has been.  Trust me, it is possible to recover fully.  I am living proof. 

[[kl...]]

One of my hobbies before this was reviewing different micro brews with my friends.

It makes me sad to think I will never be able to do that again. I mean even after 3 or 4 years I would be terrified to have a beer if there is a chance it would send me back to withdrawal for 8 months.

 

this whole process is just unbelievable.

[[Wh...]]

I didn't think this thread would be this active, I thought I'd said my piece and that was enough.  I am glad to see that some people are taking the warning seriously.  For those who can drink without ill effect, bully for you.  That's just fine but I don't know if it's all that uncommon to have the reaction I did.  If the message is stronger here on BB that "oh I did it and I'm fine" rather than this warning, that is what makes me sorry.  What if it's uncommon to drink and be okay?

 

Recently I discovered another member who this happened to and that motivated me to speak up about this issue.  I had been in touch with another before that, who the same thing happened, only her setback only lasted 6 months but still, one day of benzo sick is one day too many.  Also recently reported here on BB was a man who had been off for several years, had too many drinks one night and got thrown back into benzo hell.

 

I want to add a piece to this for those who fear that they cannot have one drink once in a while.  Maybe you can have one.  I don't know.  The first week I was on that holiday, I ordered a Mai Tai.  I sipped slowly on that thing, adding lots of orange juice as I went as I found it too strong.  It took me two hours to finish it off.  After that I thought I was in the free and clear as I noticed no negative effects.  I didn't try it again until towards the end of the holiday when I went to a Luau where the drinks were free.  Everyone was indulging so I did too.  I had two Pina Colada's thinking since they were free there wouldn't be much alcohol in them, then I stupidly had 1/2 beer.  I do look back and wish that there was an angel on my shoulder whispering my thread message "PLEASE DON'T DRINK ALCOHOL WHEN YOU FEEL RECOVERED".  There wasn't.  So this is what I'm doing here, hoping that when you're in that situation of being gratefully recovered and about to celebrate living like everyone else I hope that that message flashes across your mind and you take heed.  I would not want this to happen to anyone.

 

There is the other piece that as someone mentioned, yes I was poly-drugged for 20 years and kindled from two c/t's off benzo's so I had the full meal deal of withdrawal that not everyone experiences ... thank God.  There are degrees of the withdrawal experience, I see it all the time and I know when someone has the Friday the 13th X 1,000,000 version or not.  Yes, I experienced protracted withdrawal symptoms that many people don't want to hear about or believe but I have many, many friends in the same state who only used benzo's or antidepressants and ended up protracted as well.  It's a reality I don't wish on anyone.

 

I need to mention the part about how it felt to be fully recovered.  It just sprung on me suddenly, I was normal.  The nerve pain was suddenly completely gone and the mind was quiet with normal thoughts and feelings only.  Two weeks before I was down on my knees begging to be taken in my sleep.  I was in kind of a state of shock asking myself "What just happened to me?  Where have I been the last 3 years?"  It's very much like having a baby, giving birth, as most women here who have experienced natural child birth will tell you that it was the most agonizing thing they ever experienced but something about the mind makes you forget all that when it's over.  So I got careless in my new life, I'll admit that this was my own fault for not guarding my new state of well-being with more vigor.

 

I heard that Colin had a negative reaction to alcohol and perhaps he can weigh in with his experience.

 

This topic may not be talked about much because for me, I feel shame that I did this to myself, and I suppose that that is a normal human response to having done something really stupid.  Someone asked how long before the symptoms returned, it was 4 days later which also happened to the other person I had previously mentioned who went thru the same thing.

 

For those who have suspicions that I have a mental illness and belong on drugs, you are wrong.  What I experience in this wave is the exact same symptoms as I always have during withdrawal.  Intense nerve pain, that many report, along with freaky fried brains.  Before I went on drugs, I experienced depression, this is not that, not even close.  The biggest mistake of my life was agreeing to take psyche drugs.  There was a damn good reason why I had depression at the time, all that was called for at the time was a change in life-style along with a thyroid supplement which I still use.  I was in a really terribly abusive marriage and I was self-employed working like a maniac, something had to give and that's all I'll say about that.  I crashed and burned at the age of 35 and ended up being drugged out of my mind for the next 20 years.

 

Thank you to all of you that wished me well and a speedy recovery, right backatcha.  Thank you always to the friends I made here on BB who continue to offer support and companionship as we go thru this awful thing together. 

 

 

[[Fl...]]

I was finally recovered at 37 months off. I went on a holiday to a tropical island to celebrate. Towards the end of a two week vacation I had 2 1/2 drinks of alcohol.  That was a huge mistake and I've been in a terrible setback ever since ... 8 months later and still quite sick.

 

......The first week I was on that holiday, I ordered a Mai Tai. I sipped slowly on that thing, adding lots of orange juice as I went as I found it too strong.  It took me two hours to finish it off.  After that I thought I was in the free and clear as I noticed no negative effects. I didn't try it again until towards the end of the holiday when I went to a Luau where the drinks were free.  Everyone was indulging so I did too.  I had two Pina Colada's thinking since they were free there wouldn't be much alcohol in them, then I stupidly had 1/2 beer.

 

.......I need to mention the part about how it felt to be fully recovered.  It just sprung on me suddenly, I was normal.  The nerve pain was suddenly completely gone and the mind was quiet with normal thoughts and feelings only. Two weeks before I was down on my knees begging to be taken in my sleep.

 

......Someone asked how long before the symptoms returned, it was 4 days later which also happened to the other person I had previously mentioned who went thru the same thing.

 

......What I experience in this wave is the exact same symptoms as I always have during withdrawal. Intense nerve pain, that many report, along with freaky fried brains.

 

Reading your last reply something clicked with me, and I'm just going to throw it out there.

 

What if it wasn't the alcohol?

 

There were two notable instances during my wd where I got slammed out of the blue by hard waves.

 

The first time was when I came back home after my summer job ended. Before I made the 1100 mile drive back home, I was doing very, very well. But by the time I arrived back in FL I got absolutely hammered with an intense fatigue wave that lasted about a month. During this wave I could barely do anything.

 

The second time was about 6 weeks ago. I went on vacation with my family. We drove 12 hours straight through, starting one night at midnight. I missed an entire night of sleep, and by the middle of the next day I came down with flu like symptoms that lasted for just over 2 days. The flu stuff suddenly vanished after about 48 hours, but for the rest of the trip I didn't want to do anything but lay in bed and sleep. My whole family was there and I could barely bring myself to be around them. As soon as I got home, like, literally the first morning I woke up in my own bed, I felt fine. I was feeling very good the few weeks before this vacation, and I have been good ever since.

 

Benzo wd can be a fickle beast. The same way that you woke up one day and realized you were "healed", it can also take you from feeling great to feeling awful in a matter of hours.

 

Is it possible that this could have been a wave that was triggered by the stress of the vacation as opposed to alcohol? You had one drink the first week you were there and nothing happened, but 2.5 drinks the week after triggered an 8 month wave? I am just wondering whether there might be more to this than just "alcohol sent me back into wd after I was healed"

 

When you were drinking alcohol you were probably already wondering whether the booze might cause you problems. It is very easy to attribute things like alcohol to wd symptoms but who would ever think that a vacation might trigger a wave? I didn't make the connection until it happened to me twice. We don't think that something as relaxing as a vacation could cause us problems, but with a CNS that has been compromised by benzo wd ANY kind of stress can cause problems.

[[Ho...]]

I personally think there are just as many people that can drink in moderation than there are that get thrown into hell from it.

 

The big question is, do you feel lucky enough to be in the right category... like flipping a coin. Another 8 more months in hell (or ever more) is certainly not worth the risk.

[[Go...]]

I love a good glass of wine so for me, once I feel 100%, I plan to have a sip of wine.  If that is okay then maybe a little more the next time and taper up so to speak.  I dont think I will drink for a long time.

 

[[Ti...]]

Have you improved at all over the past 8 months Whoopsie?

[[Fl...]]

I personally think there are just as many people that can drink in moderation than there are that get thrown into hell from it.

 

The big question is, do you feel lucky enough to be in the right category... like flipping a coin. Another 8 more months in hell (or ever more) is certainly not the risk.

 

I agree, and I'm not doubting that it is possible, I just wonder how of these many big setbacks get attributed to convenient scapegoats.

 

We all try to look for cause and effect when we are going through a rough time, but how much of it can be attributed something other than what we think might be obvious, or just to withdrawal in general? When our symptoms go away during a window we are a lot less likely to try to find a reason for what happened but when things go the other direction we want to find SOMETHING to blame.

 

 

[[he...]]

((((Hugs)))). Whoopsie , it's so unfair , I myself had gotten extremely worst it started for me Nov 25 2011 , I will never forget , I was 27 mths off, inspite of still having the same symptoms I do now and plus ,I now have new symptoms and the nerve pain is 100xs worst then I ever was for the first 27 mths off , but prior to this wave I had windows every month ,now it's steady paiin, I am not sure if I can tribute it to taking a small teaspoon of children's benadryal , after taking that dose to help me sleep I ended up with the worst nerve pain I ever endured the entire time, the nerve pain is like knives cutting me up all over, a Month after that I went into a hot tub and I went down hill from there, for me it wasn't alcohol , it was children's benadryal , and a hot tub, so is that the reason for me to be this severe , who knows? BEnzo recovery is so unpredictable , I get tempted to have a sip of wine, but I wouldn't consider it, if after taking children's benadryal and I got like this , I am not sure what alcohol would do, I think were all different , I never ever had food sensitivities in my entire life nor when I first got off benzos , I was able to eat everything and anything up until July last year , our chemistry changes awhile our brain is adjusting . We can only pray it will end and our brains will revert back the way God has meant it to be.

[[ar...]]

It is human nature to want to go back and live a "normal" life once we feel we are healed...so we can't blame ourselves if something like this happens.

 

It is also human nature to do whatever it takes to make the symptoms stop if it feels like one cannot continue on for one more second...When I entered the ER, I was in a complete state of collapse...low blood pressure, low body temp, hadn't slept for days with the kind of akathisia where if I layed down for even a second my entire body would shake and not one part of my body would relax.  I also kept getting severe hypoglycemic attacks if I managed to fall asleep.  I would wake up and start to pass out.  I never had any of these symptoms to this degree until I was 2 years out!  Hence, reinstatement.  I guess the point is I think we really have to nurture our bodies for a long time after these drugs our out of our system...even if we do a slow taper. 

 

I am one of the short term, lose dose users who ended up protracted.  The strength of these drugs (for some of us) is just mind boggling...

 

archerblue

 

 

[[...]]

I just don't understand how people can believe in kindling with benzos but not in kindling with alcohol if both act on GABA. Huh??!??!! Makes no sense to me.

[[qu...]]

I just feel it's so important to offer this warning in a strong way to folks here on BB.  I was finally recovered at 37 months off.  I went on a holiday to a tropical island to celebrate.  Towards the end of a two week vacation I had 2 1/2 drinks of alcohol.  That was a huge mistake and I've been in a terrible setback ever since ... 8 months later and still quite sick.

 

I know of this happening to a few others as well.  When you get feeling good again and are happy and enjoying life please don't sabotage it by having a drink.  I totally understand why people do it, you're feeling free and a part of normal life again finally after such a long and horrific illness.

 

Please remember this warning when you recover, which you will, in time.

 

Almost the exact same thing happened to me. Eerily enough I also had 2.5 drinks. Was very sick for the next five months.

 

Some of my worst paranoia and delusions from withdrawal came back, peaking one night when I woke up suddenly convinced that my boyfriend was actually a disguised reptile. I had to fight that delusion for the next month; it faded only slowly. It gives a fair sense of my general state of mind during that time.

 

My thinking has returned to normal. But I felt fully recovered, having been benzo-free for more than a year, until having the drinks.

 

The degree to which they set me back was like nothing I could have anticipated. Although actually, having already gone through withdrawal once, I really should have anticipated.

 

New GI issues also flared up and have lingered. At the worst of it I was throwing up daily and, even when I could keep the food down, the heartburn was unreal. I've gotten onto a strict FODMAPS diet which controls the reflux pretty well, but prior to kindling my withdrawal with alcohol I had never had ANY issues with reflux, even during the first go-round with withdrawal!

 

Stay away from alcohol even when you think you're fully recovered. It's not worth the risk.

[[qu...]]

I personally think there are just as many people that can drink in moderation than there are that get thrown into hell from it.

 

The big question is, do you feel lucky enough to be in the right category... like flipping a coin. Another 8 more months in hell (or ever more) is certainly not the risk.

 

I agree, and I'm not doubting that it is possible, I just wonder how of these many big setbacks get attributed to convenient scapegoats.

 

We all try to look for cause and effect when we are going through a rough time, but how much of it can be attributed something other than what we think might be obvious, or just to withdrawal in general? When our symptoms go away during a window we are a lot less likely to try to find a reason for what happened but when things go the other direction we want to find SOMETHING to blame.

 

Sorry about the double-post, but I'm skeptical of flare-ups "just happening" once the first hellish part of withdrawal has ended. Looking back, the first five or six months of my withdrawal were infernal, and there really were flare-ups during that period which seemed to have no reasonable cause.

 

After that initial miserable period, though ... it's clear in hindsight that poor decisions on my part were causing the flare-ups. I'd fool around with a supplement, like holy basil, which I'd later found out had GABA activity. Lo and behold, I'd be fine for the next couple days--as the supplement was slowly cleared from my system--but then I'd barely sleep for a week. Or I'd do something really stupid like smoke a joint; same consequence as taking a GABAergic supplement.

 

Or it might be a particularly stressful time, like finals week, and that would rev me up. But looking back, my misery after the first five or six months always ensued from an insult, be it chemical or circumstantial, that destabilized my system.

 

And, like Whoopsie, I always enjoyed a few days' grace period between the insult to my system and the consequences thereof. Alcohol has a pretty short half-life, but it takes a while for the body to process and purge it entirely. It seems very likely to me that the alcohol caused Whoopsie's setback, just as it caused mine (see my previous post in this thread).

[[Bo...]]

Queenscarlett88,

 

How long were you on Benzos and at what dose?