Who - What & Why Of Benzo Recovery

[[Si...]]

Over the last 20 years I have worked with benzo people (and my own journey) one of the frightening aspects of WD is the changing nature of symptoms and that you can add new ones even very late in recovery.

 

First let me say that much of what in known in neurobiology are constructs and theory - but theory that is backed be some good science.

 

What is known about benzo withdrawal is that it is a type of sub-clinical seizure which is simply out of control, normal, biochemical and bioelectrical processes.

 

The brakes of the nervous system is GABA - it regulates if a neuron fires and how much (this is a great simplification as it does much more). In our normal bodies a normal nerve cell can only fire with so much intensity and only to predetermined other nerve cells. Benzos alter the receptor numbers, the receptor configuration and the sensitivity or threshold....so the rules go out the window!!!

 

If you envision a bucket with 20 small holes in the bottom with a quart of water consider this is a normal neuron - after benzo exposure the bucket now has 500 larger, now odd shaped holes and a gallon of water for added pressure -GABA normally plugs these holes but benzos have altered its ability to do so -  this is a crude example but it paints an accurate picture.

 

You now have less controlled neuronal firing that can make contact with neurons it could not do in a normal brain. Many neuroscientists use the term "kindling" to describe a similar process. Another visual is a water hose with a restricting nozzle (GABA) that shoots a stream only where you want it and in the flow you decide. Remove the nozzle and put your little finger over the flow and it goes everywhere.

 

The alterations caused by benzos have allowed the information of neural firing to connect with other neurons we were never designed for  - so you get strange symptoms that no words accurately describe. After my severe withdrawal and observing a few hundred other patients back in the early 1990's I came up with the term, "Non-linear Healing" or random recovery in regards to benzos.

 

Since these hap-hazard firings have billions of nerve cell possibilities we have nearly unlimited symptoms possible. Most of us have the same few dozen symptoms but then some have very unique and distressing symptoms - especially frightening when no one else has them. It is just you unique brain finding an equally unique pathway to fire and not an indication of: "I am so bad or unique I will never get well."

 

In psychology we use the term "selective reinforcement" or "random occurrence" this unpredictable stimulation will make even a lab rat nuts - humans are hard wired for predictable and routine occurrence to feel safe; when you encounter non-linear healing it tends to be very upsetting. When it happens often enough what is called a "possum" response occurs which feel much like depression. You can't predict, who-how or why so you curl up like a possum and hold on. This is a very painful psychological place to be but it is the nature of benzo recovery.

 

Here is another visual that I used to draw for my clients on neurological healing (sorry I can't draw it here so I will try to describe).

 

If you visualize a hoop or a circle and you put a big red dot (you) on the rim and start rolling it down the street the dot goes up and down with the revolution of the hoop. When your dot is up you feel better and when it is down you feel back to square one. What you can't see from your perspective is that the hoop and you are always moving forward towards healing in spite of how up and down you feel.

 

Much like being lost in a forest and all you see is trees and ground - with a eagle's eye view you are making progress towards the clearing in spite of the your limited perspective.

 

Here  is a mantra that is probably one of the most healing things you can do when these new and unique symptoms show up: take a few deep breaths and chant; "SO WHAT."  When you give them little concern they will not build to secondary arousal which keeps the nervous system raw and slows healing.

[[Be...]]

I think I actually understood most of that, Sit2Know.  We often tell people healing from benzos is not linear like healing from a cut or bruise, and what you have learned seems to reinforce it. And I have also found that not giving attention to my healing symptoms tends to at least not create more anxiety and more symptoms.  I guess I am normal after all. 

[[az...]]

That was an interesting read, but it caused me to read some of your older posts to see what else you had to say, and the rest is less encouraging. Frankly you paint a pretty bleak outlook, rather depressing to be blunt. I guess I can only hope my own experience is not as severe or drawn out as those you described.

[[Be...]]

That was an interesting read, but it caused me to read some of your older posts to see what else you had to say, and the rest is less encouraging. Frankly you paint a pretty bleak outlook, rather depressing to be blunt. I guess I can only hope my own experience is not as severe or drawn out as those you described.

I went back to his April posts and didn't see it as bleak at all.  He mentioned people who had been on benzos for up to 30 years and made a full recovery.  Sure, there a is a small percentage of people that seem to take longer to heal but those are often the ones who cold turkeyed or did a too rapid taper and even then it isn't carved in stone that they will suffer a long time.  Best to just keep doing a sensible taper and expecting the best outcome. 

[[wo...]]

I love this! This is what I find fascinating!! I always thought that for some people benzos are poison, just like pesticides and other neurotoxins. Some people can be exposed to them and not get sick, and other can't even tolerate a whiff. I also thought that one of the most devastating effects of benzos was due to the fact that the GABA system is an upreg-system and not supposed to have GABA blasting all day and night but as needed.....like after exercise...etc..Because it was never meant to be "on" all the time it being stuck in that state due to benzos must completely whack out the poor brain!   And being off wouldn't change it back right away.

 

I know my poor brain is trying so hard to communicate with my legs but its like it doesn't have what it needs to do that anymore. I know it will one day, and I think just continuing to do things that it can't really do will help. Eventually it will all work again. I have a lot of faith in my body's ability to heal. I like to imagine it healing. So for me this helps.

[[az...]]

I went back to his April posts and didn't see it as bleak at all.  He mentioned people who had been on benzos for up to 30 years and made a full recovery.

 

That's true. I was referring more to his viewpoint on psychiatric drugs in general, which, correct me if I'm wrong, is basically that we shouldn't be on them. Period. And that being on them will only mess up your brain in ways that may or may not be repairable. That to me is a bleak assessment. I guess I may be in the minority as someone who is trying to get off a specific med but do not see an issue with continuing to take other meds.

[[wo...]]

Hey Addy, the problem with benzo IMO is that it is not attenuated really at all. So it can effect a huge part of the brain. I think other meds are more successfully attenuated to not have such far reaching and long lasting adverse effects.