Challis' Success

[[on...]]

Clouded- my doctor also told me I could take rescue doses of xanax as needed after my withdrawal was complete...they have absolutely  no clue. I have fought way way too hard to ever take another one of those poison pills.

[[Ch...]]

My doc said I was 'an anxious type' and to take .25mg of Xanax 'as maintenance'.

How much does that show her lack of understanding about benzodiazepines?  My 'anxiety' went away almost completely once I was off!

[[cl...]]

Amen to that!!!!!

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Challis- They understand to a point about Benzos . They know it's addictive and hard to come off of. My doctor yelled at me that "he went to medical school" lol . I laughed and told him that I understand that but in medical school they teach you to prescribe pills to treat symptoms . They don't teach the side effects of those pills . Their to busy taking the interns out to lunch to tell them to push the drugs and they will make extra money from the pharmaceutical companies . My daughter looked up all my doctors and the range was from $2,000-10,000 per year that each doctor got paid for pushing drugs. If you haven't watched Love and other drugs with Jake Gyllenhall and Anne Hathaway you should. Great movie and it shows what big pharma is all about.

 

Clouded

[[Ch...]]

Challis- They understand to a point about Benzos . They know it's addictive and hard to come off of. My doctor yelled at me that "he went to medical school" lol . I laughed and told him that I understand that but in medical school they teach you to prescribe pills to treat symptoms . They don't teach the side effects of those pills . Their to busy taking the interns out to lunch to tell them to push the drugs and they will make extra money from the pharmaceutical companies . My daughter looked up all my doctors and the range was from $2,000-10,000 per year that each doctor got paid for pushing drugs. If you haven't watched Love and other drugs with Jake Gyllenhall and Anne Hathaway you should. Great movie and it shows what big pharma is all about.

 

Clouded

 

I'll look for it.  I've watched another one that I can't remember the name of...a documentary about prescription overmedication that I found on Netflix. 

 

My prescribing doctor is retired now so I can't see what his kickbacks were, but he was an excellent doctor in all other respects.  He warned me from the get-go that sleeping pills could cause dependence.  The problem was that I didn't understand the implications of 'dependence'.  I thought it meant if I wanted to sleep, it would depend on taking the medication.  So…that was fine with me.  Physical addiction never entered my mind… I associated that with illegal drugs like heroin, not prescription drugs. He also was a soft touch, he cared about me and knew what I was going through with my mom's death.  Perhaps because of that, didn't insist on taking me off the meds, though he did say 'we need to do this eventually'  and 'Xanax isn't my favorite drug, let's try something else', so I was warned, though not in strong terms that really caught my attention.  When I asked him what he meant by 'Xanax isn't my favorite drug', he didn't go further with it, was sort of hedgy in his response.

 

Xanax was my lifeline for a couple of years, I have to say that it saved me from a complete and total breakdown.  Paid the piper, though.

[[on...]]

like you Challis- xanax first saved me when I had horrific panic attacks...gave me my life back...but then at some point it stopped working and the withdrawal between doses caused me too feel crappy and anxious for so  many years- just wish I had realized sooner what was going on...I just never realized how physically dependent I would become to that drug. This weekend it really hit me what it would be like to be free of that dependence after 30 yrs- to know longer worry if I would run out of xanax or if I was home on the right day to refill my prescription... to be free of the worry that my doctor would some day stop prescribing it and I would be up the creek.. .....I finally realize how much my dependence on xanax physically and emotionally controlled my life. ....I am SO excited to get my life back!

[[Ch...]]

like you Challis- xanax first saved me when I had horrific panic attacks...gave me my life back...but then at some point it stopped working and the withdrawal between doses caused me too feel crappy and anxious for so  many years- just wish I had realized sooner what was going on...I just never realized how physically dependent I would become to that drug. This weekend it really hit me what it would be like to be free of that dependence after 30 yrs- to know longer worry if I would run out of xanax or if I was home on the right day to refill my prescription... to be free of the worry that my doctor would some day stop prescribing it and I would be up the creek.. .....I finally realize how much my dependence on xanax physically and emotionally controlled my life. ....I am SO excited to get my life back!

 

I was clueless for a long time.  My anxiety kept getting worse and worse and I kept a pill on me at all times because once it started it only got worse until I took one.  Had NO idea it was the Xanax interdose withdrawal issues.  I thought I had a worsening anxiety disorder... never gave a thought to the Xanax being the cause until after I was retired, grief was in its place, no job worries, no financial worries, my kids were doing well... I had nothing to be anxious about and that's when I started questioning.

 

Like you, I worried about refills, cried in the pharmacy one time when my doctor had failed to call in a refill on a Friday afternoon and I'd counted my pills down to the last bit to make it til then.  Humiliating.  The pharmacist gave me enough to make it until Monday, but lesson learned, I wanted off the ball and chain.

 

And yes, it's wonderful to get control of life again.  I don't have to worry that a  worldwide catastrophe will interrupt my Xanax supply anymore.  But I worry a little about something interrupting other people's supply.  Can you imagine if all of a sudden all prescriptions were unavailable?

 

Yikes.

[[cl...]]

Challis there would be mahem. People in emergency rooms seizing, people stealing from each other etc. it would not be pretty.

 

Clouded

[[on...]]

I had a pharmacy meltdown or two  myself over the thirty years...and like you some times between doses I would feel SO bad I didn't know what  was wrong- I would just know that if I took an extra xanax ( which I couldn't do very often since I had very few extras) or took my next dose early I would feel better. I remember having to turn around from a trip or a party or an event if I looked in my pill holder and realized I didn't have a back up xanax for that" bad patch" as I would call those weird episodes that  I now realize were interdose withdrawals... I thought xanax was my friend- my crutch- when it was actually what was making me feel bad. Only now  with 95 percent of my taper behind me can I finally see that. I get upset about all those years wasted feeling bad- but I have to focus on a new brighter future xanax free. Thanks for being a good friend through this.

[[Ch...]]

I had a pharmacy meltdown or two  myself over the thirty years...and like you some times between doses I would feel SO bad I didn't know what  was wrong- I would just know that if I took an extra xanax ( which I couldn't do very often since I had very few extras) or took my next dose early I would feel better. I remember having to turn around from a trip or a party or an event if I looked in my pill holder and realized I didn't have a back up xanax for that" bad patch" as I would call those weird episodes that  I now realize were interdose withdrawals... I thought xanax was my friend- my crutch- when it was actually what was making me feel bad. Only now  with 95 percent of my taper behind me can I finally see that. I get upset about all those years wasted feeling bad- but I have to focus on a new brighter future xanax free. Thanks for being a good friend through this.

 

Exactly.  I could easily obsess about 30 years of missing or foggy memories from my kids' growing up years, but that won't help a thing.  Gotta move on and make up for lost time, right?  I have pictures, thank goodness.  Have to be happy with that and let the rest go.

 

 

[[on...]]

It is so great to talk with someone who really understands  what I have been through these last thirty years and what this taper has been like. We will focus on a bright tomorrow!! Thanks so much Have a great evening

[[Ch...]]

It is so great to talk with someone who really understands  what I have been through these last thirty years and what this taper has been like. We will focus on a bright tomorrow!! Thanks so much Have a great evening

 

You, too, ontheroadme.

Chal

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Challis  your story just made me smile so big here

Inspiration and hope.

Thank you for sharing 

[[Ch...]]

Challis  your story just made me smile so big here

Inspiration and hope.

Thank you for sharing 

 

Thanks, Me2.  Glad you're here.  Peer support is critical in this.

[[so...]]

I love you Challis.  You are one good egg.  Sunny side up.

 

Sofa

[[Ch...]]

I love you Challis.  You are one good egg.  Sunny side up.

 

Sofa

 

Love you, too, Sofa... we're a sunny side up double-yolk. 

Chal

[[By...]]

Thank you for sharing your success story @Challis, and for everything you do for so many others here. I love that you became benzo-free on Easter ~ how lovely. 

[[Ch...]]

Thank you for sharing your success story @Challis, and for everything you do for so many others here. I love that you became benzo-free on Easter ~ how lovely. 

 

You're welcome. 

[[Pi...]]

Thank you so much for taking time to post your success story Challis. Reading a success story like yours gives me patience and hope that healing and recovery does happen to us who are still suffering from benzo withdrawal symptoms.

 

Blessings and Congratulations!

[[Ch...]]

Thank you so much for taking time to post your success story Challis. Reading a success story like yours gives me patience and hope that healing and recovery does happen to us who are still suffering from benzo withdrawal symptoms.

 

Blessings and Congratulations!

 

Thanks, Pi.  Looking forward to reading yours one of these days. 

[[Wh...]]

Thank you Challis for helping out here on BB as an admin.  You are very much appreciated. 

[[Li...]]

Congratulations!

Did you change your diet?

[[Ch...]]

Thank you Challis for helping out here on BB as an admin.  You are very much appreciated. 

 

Thanks, Whoopsie... 

[[Ch...]]

Congratulations!

Did you change your diet?

 

Thank you!

 

I've changed my diet a couple of times, and it always helps.  I've been on a healthy regime (again) for about six weeks now...lost weight and feeling better on it.

 

 

[[Pi...]]

Challis,

Sending you my sincere and heartfelt thank you for helping facilitate or serving as an Administrator for the forum.  We all appreciate the good job you do.

 

Lots of hugs and blessings to you!