Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

[[po...]]

My husband cooked some hot wings and he put supersonic hot sauce on them. What was I thinking?? I had just recovered. Why do we do stupid things. I was up all night with the big D which did not subside until late this morning. God I need an extended time of homeostasis. I had to cheat and go up again. I am going to try and do my 0.25 again. I have my old sheets back and an anti-inflammatory diet today mostly. I stayed home from work and worked from home. Got a lot done. Good night. Powerball.

[[Ha...]]

Committed, thank you! Lisa, I hope for both our sakes we both get some consistently good sleep soon!!  Actually I hope we all do.  Powerball, I agree about the importance of good sheets! I have changed out my type of sheets twice since this insomnia started and a softer, cooler sheet does help, I think.

 

Luey, thank you for sending the taper information link!! I am wading through it.  I still feel a bit nervous and fearful that I will somehow not get the right dose if I crush it up and weigh it, but I imagine if I have the right scale it should go fairly smoothly ... just trying to get comfortable with the idea, I guess.  My understanding is that an occasional Benadryl is not going to hurt me.  My rule of thumb, which I think I made up, is no more than once a week.  That way I know I can't get addicted to it or build a dependency, but at least once a week I know I will more or less sleep.  It's a hard decision, but I know my brain is also desperate for sleep.

 

Thanks everyone for checking in.  I'm glad we're all still hanging in there.

 

Haimona

[[Ca...]]

can someone help me pleasee, i am desperate. i have posted last night and today in tiration , etc.  i feel like my DMLT is using too much vodka, i cannot usse prop glycol or milk  can i cut my vodka down.  please read this, is what i posteed:  pleaese someone find me someone to help me get my question answered, thankyou.

 

  I am using three 1 mg pills of ativan and currently using 10 ml syringe of VODKA  and 29 waters (fill 10 ml syringe up 29 times).  HOWEVER, i do not want to use that much vodka anymore, i think it's affecting me. i am not kidding.      (i go through a new batch of 3 pills daily).  so, that means i am drinking 10 ml of vodka daily.  it might explain my dizzy head and "drunk" feeling. i am not kidding.      So, please,  tell me the least amount of vodka that will work to melt and be a solvent to three 1 mg pills of ativan?    and, i use 29 waters.  or, should this change, too?  please, maybe Builder or someone can chime in here.  thankyou.  i am now down to 3.12 on my taper. down from 3.75.  thankyou.  ask questions please, if i confused you.    bascially, i want to use as little of vodka as needed but still make a decent solution.

[[Pa...]]

Hello Cathymp,

 

I responded to your post here: http://www.benzobuddies.org/forum/index.php?topic=235642.0

 

Pamster

[[...]]

Good Evening Friends,

 

Committed, sorry to hear things have been a bit rough for you since beginning of the year.  Did the hold help?  I hope you are feeling better. Thanks always for your support.

 

Powerball, I can relate to the sheet thing.  I am very picky about the way clothes feel and any fabric that touches my skin! 

 

Haimona, It took me a while to understand and get started with micro-tapering too. It became routine once I got the hang of it.  I think your plan for no more than once a week benedryl sounds like a good one.

 

Lisa, I hope you, Haimona and anyone else suffering from insomnia (or any other symptoms) are getting some sleep and feeling better.

 

I've been holding at 1.5mg for 10 days now.  The last two days finally I have been feeling a lot better.  I went xc skiing both days.  Outdoor hiking, skiing etc. seem to help me so much.  If Thursday goes ok, I plan to start tapering again tomorrow night.  I think I'll try the same daily reductions of .006mg.

 

Nighty night,

 

Luey

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[te...]]

Hello all

I am at 18.8 and feeling terrible the drop caught up to me a couple days ago today being the worst .

No sleep for 3 night and shacking inside .

Lisa

[[Co...]]

Oh Lisa, I am so sorry to hear you aren’t doing well. Praying that you feel some relief soon!! Hugs

 

Luey, WOW! CX skiing, you must be feeling better! Glad to hear your hold helped.

 

Still holding and symptoms are becoming more manageable. Thank you for asking Luey. Giving it one more day then back to tapering.

 

Haimona, I hope you are getting some sleep. Are you still holding? I don’t know how you ladies taper and work too!

 

Wishing everyone a tranquil day and restful night.

[[...]]

Dear Lisa,

 

I'm so very sorry to hear you've been feeling badly again the last few days.  It's not like you are rushing things!  And .18mg is a very small amount; this "poison," as PB accurately calls it, and what it does to good people like you/us, really p-----me off!  Lisa, please be very kind to yourself, just like you do for all of us, and remember this is temporary, you will feel better again. Hang in there my friend. And please report back soon.

 

Love,

 

Luey

[[po...]]

Tech, so sorry you feel bad. No sleep for three nights would kill me. I mean it really would not, but it wrecks our body. I really hope you can "hold"? and wait it out. Me, I have been struggling some, but it isn't the end of the world. You know I got down to .22mg and could not go lower. I didn't try hard enough I think. I held at .27 throughout my time Peru with no sleeping issues and now getting home with my "jungle fever," and "and my painless beetle bite," I just got side tracked.

 

Too much politics on TV. As a political junkie it is hard to pull away and get back to my reading project. My sleep hygiene sucks. My rigid bedtime schedule sucks, No gym yet. My spiritual life sucks but I plan on taking care of that Sunday. I have been too lax there. So why would I expect great tapering? So I had to cheat a bit and got as high as .30mg (and cheated once to 0.31 one night. But I think I have settled now at .28. I will hang out there a couple of more days. My nausea has returned for about a 2 hr stretch in the evening. My Xanax taper is off the table.

 

Despite all my lax behavior, work is very good and very rewarding. With practically no commute, that was really a life changer. So what is next? No jungle fever. Beetle spots almost gone. Albeit, stress pretty well managed, but disappointed in my commitment to doing the right things to smooth my taper. It has to be a sold commitment, no? So I vow to get my as.. back on schedule. It helps me heal. Let's all heal pals. Good night. Powerball.

[[...]]

Hello Friends,

 

Powerball I know what you're saying.  I've chipped away from 6 down to 1.5mg, but I look and see a long journey still in front of me.  I've been holding for a couple of weeks, feeling mostly better, but hesitating to get started again.  Do any of you feel that way after a hold?  Back into the unknown...  I also need to keep my life very structured but sometimes I just want to take a break.  I also got too wrapped up in politics in recent days and last night I stayed up binging on Netflix. Consequently I did not feel so great today.

 

Tapering is always in the background, a "should" predicament that I've recently been avoiding.  I find a delicate balance is required in moving forward- disciplined but remembering to go slow, tune in, be gentle.  I guess I'm a little bit burnt out on the process right now.

 

I'm going to take better care of myself this weekend and Sunday night try to resume the journey...  I've already learned if I go little by little again I can move forward. I have to give myself a little pep talk. Can any of you relate?

 

Be kind to yourselves everybody,

 

Luey

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[[po...]]

Luey,

 

We've got to figure this out. All of us. First of all, I have been sucked into media again. In Peru I was 100% off all media. Not one time. It was liberating. Then home, impeachment, new shi...happening every day. My reading project which was going so well, now not so well. Maybe my current book on Syria wasn't the best idea.

 

I am having nausea about two hours a day around 430-6:30pm and then it goes away. I have been very productive but I still don't feel engaged enough with "living." I know that sounds silly. I don't have any other symptoms at all, but I cannot wait to be free of this. I am so close. But like you, it still seems far away. I really wanted to get to .20 in order to begin a Xanax taper. Until age 50 I took no drugs for sleep. I managed. I managed.

 

I guess all I can do, all of us, is to chip away at it. I need some baby steps toward that "living." I have a three day weekend. I am going to figure what to do. Tonight I go down to .27 from .28. Good night all. Tech, I hope you are getting some sleep again. Powerball.

[[te...]]

Poweball , Luey and Comitted

Thanks for your well wishes . I am holding for a few days .  Things will get better it’s all a waiting game . Thank you

Lisa

Will write more once I feel better keep up your journey we will all get there

[[Co...]]

Luey,

 

I can relate to what you are saying. I am always apprehensive when I start back to tapering. For me I think it is about the unknown. This month is the year mark of tapering for me. I dream of the day that involves no dosing and I feel healthy and stable again.

 

Are you using a 1:2:8 solution? How many mLs are you able to reduce by each day when you are tapering?

 

Powerball,

Hope you are able to find a comfortable state of homeostasis soon and healing continues.

 

Best wishes to all my fellow Ativan Warriors!!

[[...]]

Dear Friends,

I'm grateful for this community. You are all my heroes!

 

Lisa, I asked the Sleep Fairy to go to your house and sprinkle her magical sleep dust over you.

 

Committed, 💐Congratulations for a year of great progress!!  You will be free!  I also use the 1:2:8 solution.  For months I was reducing by .06ml (.006mg) daily.  I think I'll try to start back at .05ml (An easier amount to read on my syringe).  How about you? 

 

Powerball, I admire you in so many ways! I hope you can get rest and regroup on this three day weekend. Take it easy on yourself my friend.

 

I can't believe I'm using all these silly emojis!  I don't even have a "smart" phone!

 

Luey

 

[[Co...]]

[move]   CONGRATULATIONS AF1 on 3 months BENZO FREE!!!    [/move]

[[Co...]]

Thank you Luey! You are moving right along! I have slowed to reducing .02ml/day. Have been at this rate for a little while now. Back to tapering and hoping I can keep at this rate for a while longer.

 

Hope everyone’s weekend is going well.

Committed

[[...]]

Thanks so much, Committed!

[[...]]

AF1, Yes, congratulations!

 

Committed, By percentages we are progressing at a similar rate right now. I wonder how much percentages matter. When you were at 1.5mg, like I am now, did you find you could taper more quickly?  It seems to be common for lower doses to require slowing down.  I guess everyone is different.

 

I also am returning to tapering this evening after a couple week break. I went walking in the sun for a couple of hours today, as always it helps a lot with how I feel.

 

Wishing you and everyone ease this week,

 

Luey

[[po...]]

Luey,

 

I got some sun today too! According to my readings we should get 10 minutes of direct sunlight every day. Vitamin D and stress reducer. It was cold here in Brooklyn but the sun was bright when I came out of the subway and thought I would give myself 5 minutes of that! When I first began taperinng that was part of my daily ritual. I should get back to that healing strategy even if only 5 minutes.

 

So I thought about my baby steps this weekend. I have gotten away with my daily nightly ritual. That was really helping me before. So I going to go back to that and add, getting off the computer or TV the last 30 minutes every evening. I have struggled the last two nights but it was better last night. I am going to hang out at .28mg for at least 5 more days. I rarely every hold a taper that long. But it is for certain I am having more difficulties at this lower dose. I am dying to get to .20mg so I can start my xanax taper too. Good night all. Powerball 

[[...]]

Thanks, Luey!  I'm glad you're able to get out and do things. 

[[Co...]]

Luey,

 

I was able to reduce by more when I was at 1.5 but I was MISERABLE!! Although definitely still challenging, I have become much more functional as I have gotten lower and slowed down. My phobias have subsided and I am not constantly crying anymore. I also don’t feel like I am constantly in survival mode anymore (just sporadically). At the rate I am going, I know I still have a long way to go but am hoping I feel better the lower I go. I do notice I am taking more small breaks to try and keep things from getting too far out of hand. It seems to be a delicate balance for me of trying to figure out when to keep pushing and when to hold.

 

Hope this is a positive week for everyone.

Committed

[[te...]]

Hi all , thanks for all the well wishes , lower has been challenging for me for sure . I will begin tapering again tonight as well . But it will be buy small daily drops then holds for about 4 days when I feel it creeping in .

Night to all .

Lisa

[[Ha...]]

Hi everyone,

 

Checking in to report I am still holding.  I got one great night of sleep Friday night with the help of Benadryl, one pretty good night of sleep Saturday night as I was able to sleep in after waking early, and a pretty bad night last night heading into the work week.  I'm hoping at some point it will get easier.  It sure felt good to be rested on Saturday, even with a Benadryl hangover.  Tonight I'm weary, but tomorrow is a new day and hopefully will go easier. 

 

Committed, Luey, AF1, Powerball, Lisa, I am thinking of all of you and hoping we all have an easy week.

 

Haimona

[[Co...]]

Haimona - So glad to hear you were able to get a couple of nights sleep!! Hopefully just the beginning of great things to come! Take Care.

 

Committed

[[Ha...]]

Thanks Committed!! I am sure hoping so! Last night was a rough one again but maybe tonight will be better.  At least there has been a break in the insomnia.  Thanks for the well wishes. 

 

Haimona