Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

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Hi Friends,

 

I'm grateful for all of you as we navigate this process together.  Lower doses clearly seem to be challenging for many.  I will keep trying to inch forward and not worry about the time frame.  I know everyone is doing their best to do the same.

 

Powerball I applaud your commitment and effort to return to your healthy routines.  I hope your week is getting off to a good start.

 

Committed,  Thanks for sharing a little bit more about your experience.  I'm so glad to hear you have been feeling better at lower doses.  Who cares how long it takes, right?  More important to have quality of life along the way.

 

Lisa, You have amazing patience and perseverance.  Keep on taking it as slowly as you need.

 

Haimona, Good to hear you have been able to get some sleep!  It really makes a difference.

 

I also returned to tapering three days ago at a slightly lower daily reduction- so far so good.  Today I xc skied the longest distance in two years.  I am happy my strength and stamina are improving.  I never feel symptoms on the days I'm active outdoors.

 

Best wishes to all for a good week,

 

Luey

 

p.s. Do any of you look at posts on BB outside of this support group?  I find it's better for my mental health just to check in here and avoid the rest.

 

 

 

 

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Luey,

 

How fantastic that you have symptom free days! That’s what the rest of us dream about!!! I also find it best just to stick to this thread.

 

I too am grateful for everyone here.

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Luey, I'm the same way. Check for messages then check this board and usually that's it.  I sometimes regret if I look at other things. That's great that you were able to go skiing!  I can't wait to do stuff like that again. Before my muscles got bad being outside helped me feel better, too. 

 

I've hit a rough patch which is actually good that it didn't happen before now. It seemed to happen a lot back in the summer.  Can't slow down tapering to stop it.  Was worse a few days ago so I'm grateful for any improvement.

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Hi friends -- I'm just catching up here and it seems a lot of us have been just holding steady. I feel like I'm ready to start tapering from .5 soon, and I'm thinking about going back to dry cutting. Since I've been at .5 I've just been taking 1/2 a pill rather than making the liquid. For some reason I feel like my body responds better to the pill form... but then I guess I would need to get a scale and all that jazz. 

 

My son, who is 11, came down with influenza over the weekend. I've handled this stress and worry without extra doses. There have been nights I've barely slept because I've been worried about his cough, his fever etc. So, it's a small check in the "win against Ativan" column. On the other hand, I'm not thriving and not really progressing.

 

Luey and Powerball -- thanks for the reminders that fresh air, exercise and sunshine are good medicine. If my son goes back to school tomorrow (am hoping so), I will go running. Where I live we are socked in with much gray and cold weather these days.

 

Thinking of all of you. Best wishes for peace, relief from insomnia and a break from worries.

Hugs!

 

 

 

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Wow - as I predicted! Without all of us being perfect, things don't sound so bad all in all. Well you know, I can't hold a dose for too long. I get impatient. Last night I popped down from .28 to .27mg. I really could not sleep deeply, so I got up. I watched some tennis which I never do when I get up, I read. I was really tempted tp cheat, but I did not. Went back to bed and fell off to sleep! CRAZY! Yes, the lower doses are getting challenging for me, but like Luey I am just going to keep on 'trucking.' Despite the cold weather I got two consecutive days of bright sunlight. I have meditated before sleep now five days in a row, but I am still getting that afternoon nausea every two days a least. When I was in the Amazon we went to a village and learned they eat two meals a day. Around 11a and 5-6p. Actually I had been doing it for about two weeks at work. This confirmed to me that this isn't unhealthy at all. Slipping lunch and maybe just eating a banana. I am really adjusting to it. I have lost 5 lbs and have stabilized. Losing 5 lbs was good or me, my I suits fit perfectly now. Hang in there ya'll. Powerball.

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Heartsonfire, 

 

It's good to hear from you.  It seems like you're doing so much better than when you first came here; you've survived some very stressful situations.  Your progress so far is significant.  I feel sure you will thrive again, it just takes time.  I hope you can get out and get some sunshine. 

 

Take good care everyone,

 

Luey

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Hi all

Still feeling not myself . At 18.5 I am going to hold again .

No sleep . Body aches just don’t feel myself . Very tired just can’t sleep peaceful . If I do fall asleep it’s just for an hour and it feels like I am awake . Horrible

Well wishes to all , just checking in the low dose is not easy .

Lisa

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Aww, Luey -- thanks for your nice message. I am doing better than when I started this. I think each small success just reinforces that we can do this. It's like taking back some of life, and it feels good. It's hard not to want to rush the process and be done with this poison. All of you give me much hope and encouragement, remind me to slow down and listen to my body. I'm so grateful for this community of support.

 

Lisa -- I'm sorry you are having a hard time right now with poor sleep. I know how hard that is -- and I know what being awake while sleeping feels like, awful. Do you ever take ibuprofen for the body aches? Sometimes that helps me feel better at night. I hope you have some good rest in the near future. Hang in there!

 

Friends, it is Chinese new year! The year of the rat (mouse)! Traditionally, the rat is clever, quick and vital. I think this is our year!

Happy Chinese New Year! Love and good luck to all of you!

 

 

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Lisa,  So sorry your sleep has been so disrupted.  Have you ever tried warm epsom salt baths for your body aches?  I add a few drops of lavender essential oil. The magnesium in the epsom salt is supposed to be calming before bedtime too.  Give yourself some extra nurturing. You have already reduced to less than 1/5 of a mg.  I don't think it matters how long you take to taper the remaining small amount.

 

Heartsonfire, You inspired me to read a little about Chinese New Year, The Year of the Rat and how a rat represents strength and vitality, something we can all benefit from.  Happy Chinese New Year!

 

Luey

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Thanks Luey,

I have tried it all , I think its just going to take time, but it is very difficult  on the days that I get no sleep for days its very hard to get thru the day, My body for some reason wont even nap ... Oh well I will get thru I am so grateful for the half way normal days.

I will never forget what it was like in the first part of my taper when I went too fast , I said if I ever get thru this I will never complain again.

I wish everyone better days ahead.

Lisa

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Lisa, how is your sleep hygiene? It is really important to stay on track even if you feel miserable. I had to go through that and there is a sleep pressure theory that will bring sleep when the pressure for wake diminishes. I have tried to change my retiring time to 11pm instead of 1030 and it has been a total disaster. Tonight I am about to sign off so I an meditate for 15 min and then get to sleep. I am on a supersonic slow taper now. I am at .27mg and tomorrow night I go to.26. I am tapering 0.001 every 4 days. I knows that sounds super slow but it is working. My getting up in the middle of night did not happen last night. The brief period of nausea comes every day but it doesn't last very long. Keep on truckin' all. I am NOT counting my time to get off. I simply am going to follow my body and respond to it. Good night all. Powerball.

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Powerball

 

I feel the same way , I am not counting the days just listening to my body. I am now at .18 and the lower I go the harder it gets. Not impossible just hard, if i go slow as you said it is doable....  I have had a hard time keeping to any kind of schedule as I was a caregiver around the clock for my brother while tapering and sleep was a real issue as he needed help at all hours of the night , then when my dose got lower it started to affect my sleep . Every time I make a cut my sleep is direclty affected.    Sometimes I sleep and it feels like I am awake the entire time.  But I never sleep more than 2 hours at a time. I hope it gets better . There is nothing I can do about it but just wait but it does get very hard and frustrating .

Wishing you well,  please excuse my writing mistakes as I still have a problem with that and math . Hope I get that back also.

Well wishes to all .

Lisa

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Good Morning Courageous Friends,

 

How are you doing this week?  I hope there are bright moments in your days.  Lisa, I hope some nights of good sleep come back to you soon.  I don't know how you do it.  I, like Powerball, also have to keep a very structured sleep routine.

 

I'm happy to report I'm still feeling better and having been tapering again the last 10 days.  In fact I feel more energy than I've had in probably more than 18 months and am able to push myself physically without paying the price.  I pushed myself to go a bit further yesterday and xc skied around 6 miles and felt good afterwards.  I'm grateful.

 

I returned to tapering 10 days ago at a pace of .005mg per day.  I calculate if I could stay at this rate, which I'm not counting on, it would take at least another 9 months. One day at a time, listening to my body as I know we are all trying to do.

 

Best wishes of ease for all,

 

Luey

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Just posting so we can follow what is going on with my low does.

Still no sleep , cant even fall asleep . And if I do its for 2 hrs tops.

feel awful , Hope things get better soon.

Lisa

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I am so sorry to hear your sleep is still so awful, Lisa.  I know how much that makes everything worse.  My news is I am starting to eke out some better sleep for the past five nights, some of it due to cold medicine as I now have a bad cold (things are going around here), but I have slept straight through six hours at a time at least most nights.  Last night I was up coughing even with Nyquil, but still slept over five hours without waking.  It's a lot better than waking up every single hour.  I am hoping that maybe my body will get the message and start to hit the reset button on the sleep front.  Sometimes I think insomnia starts out connected to a specific reason (like A tapering) and then becomes its own thing until something changes it. I hope that happens very soon for you, Lisa, and for all of us who aren't sleeping.

 

Haimona

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Haimona

 

Thanks for your reply,  It is like being tortured daily I really dislike this .  The waking ever hour I know the feeling , I also find it very difficult to even get to sleep some nights I dont.

When I go thru boughts of this it usually lasts weeks then I get some sleep never more than 4 hours at a time. Sometimes that last for weeks then back to no sleep for a couple of weeks . It is very difficult to live like this. I try not to get down but it does affect me .

Thanks for thinking of me and wishing me well.

Lisa

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Hi Friends,

 

Hugs to all of you who are struggling today. I could not sleep last night -- wide awake until after 3 am. I was thinking of you, Lisa and Haimona. I hope we all find some relief soon. I'm sorry you are sick, Haimona. I managed to avoid my son's influenza and everything else going around the hospital so far. I have been drinking a daily tea with fresh turmeric, ginger and pepper. I believe it is helping my immune system this winter.

 

Luey, it's so nice to hear you are feeling better with more energy! That's fantastic!

 

My plan is to resume tapering after my last shift tomorrow. Then I'm off for a stretch and it's easier to deal with w/d symptoms if I have them. Let's all keep moving forward! Even if that means holding steady, as I have been.

 

 

 

 

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Tech 21- if you can’t sleep how do our bodies recover?  I feel so bad for you and I know I would not be functioning. I have a couple nights a week where I don’t seem to sleep at all- and if I wake up there is no going back to sleep. I swear I can lie there for hours not thinking of anything. People assume that you are worried or stressed- I feel like I’m “zoning” for hours. I have no idea how people sleep at all who are feeling pain from withdrawal 24/7. I’m on enough other meds I can shut it off for a little while.

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IzzyB

I know exactly what you mean , I lie there for hours myself in a void . Awful feeling.

I did get 4 hours last night and I am so thankful for that . Sometimes I feel like I must have done something terrible to deserve this , but I am not a mean or bad person so I guess it really is just the medication who would have ever imagined that a trusted doctor would subscribe something so awful .

Wish you better days ahead .

Lisa

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Tech, here is a free online CBT-Insomnia program from the UK. I completed it many month ago but it really isn't designed for people on high does of sleep meds. https://www.sleepio.com/

 

I will probably do it again when I am at a lower dose. Tonight I begin at .24 mg. The lower doses have been very difficult for me. My nausea has subsided but most nights I am waking up in the middle of early night of my sleep - usually around 2am. I read some or watch TV, and go off to sleep immediately. CRAZY! When you wake up after sleeping and cannot return to sleep that is called maintenance insomnia. If you cannot begin sleep, that is called initiating insomnia. There are some non-addictive drugs for each. But my problem is I am not getting full consolidated sleep at night, and I really fade around 4pm every day - my memory gets worse at that time too. I am staying on the same Ativan dose for 3 days and then I taper down 0.01. At .22mg I will have matched my previous lowest dose. I am committed to keeping at it. I decided to not taper my Xanax until I have gotten this poison out of my body and having good CBT-I habits will be critical to my transition back to normal sleep which I had for 50 years, GD I had it. Powerball.

 

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Thank you Powerball,

I will take a look at it.

I have found this happens in cycles. I am now at 18.1 and as long as I dont drop too fast things are ok.

Sleep is going to be a problem but as long as I get some every once in a while , I quess I will make it.

I hope you feel better soon.

My son lives in Manhattan and I miss him. He says its very  busy there.

Lisa

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Tech CBT-I says if by 30-45 minutes and you cannot sleep, you GET UP, preferably to read or something relaxing. Do something, no blue light (no computer unless you have blue light blocking glasses which I am wearing right now) and keep the lights low. Light will decrease your melatonin which you need for sleep. This a very pronounced point especially for women who are prone to colorectal cancer if melatonin is suppressed too much at night (night shift workers are most at risk).

 

My sign to return to bed is about two yawns. Of course I'm here at 1130 writing this as I have always been a night owl and early to bed and early to rise always sounds like a death sentence to me. Maybe one night soon I just tell myself "just get your....A to bed." The Australian Open and Impeachment have not helped.

 

It is not strange however, how all of us are complaining about sleep issues, maybe not Luey tonight. She is trying out for the OLympic cross country trials. There is a special event for cross country skiing for those tapering off benzos I believe this year!.

 

Most of our human evolutionary circadian system requires our own specific need for concentrated sleep - not broken up like I hear so much here. Consolidated sleep is necessary for physiological recovery and lack of sleep has a lot of morbidities associated with it. Even now I have frequent episodic episodes myself which I really did not have at higher doses. From what I hear here also, is there seem we are more symptomatic about sleep as we go to lower doses.

 

My psych is very much against remedies that he thinks may interfere with my taper. I even tried TART CHERRY JUICE which is supposed to induce sleep. Or beef bone broth right before bed. Sleepy time tea too. I think he is being a bit overly cautious but do think lowering your the stimuli for at last 1.5 hrs before bed and relax is the best medicine. If only this dumb ...nurse could take his own advice. Good night Powerball.

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Thanks Powerball

That’s some great information.

If there was a sleep deprivation marathon I would win !

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Hello, hoping to join the group here for support and learn from everyone's experiences.

 

I've been having a very difficult taper so far though only recently started using a liquid solution for one of my daily doses. I'm currently at .64mg per day and have been in tolerance for several months now. For the most part I've been reducing at about 10% per month through dry cut and hold but now with the liquid am starting more of a daily micro taper. Throughout I've had strong fatigue, anxiety, feeling spaced out and foggy, lots of fears and emotional discomfort, and chronic pain (started before Benzo use).

 

I will have to read through the posts to see if anything has helped with particular symptoms or overall because nothing I've tried has really helped.

 

Thanks for reading!

 

WB

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Welcome Walter,

 

We are a small but supportive group.  I hope you find some helpful information looking back through posts.  The reoccurring themes seem to be listen to your body and go as slowly or hold as needed.  Fatigue was my worst issue too along with nausea but they have subsided since switching to DLMT.

 

Haha Powerball, Yes the nordic ski trials for Ativan taperers. I am trying to make the team and it is helping! 

 

Sorry to hear about all the sleep challenges at lower doses.  I am still on a higher dose.  I take half my dose at night because I want to try to preserve my sleep as long as possible.  As of today I take .71mg at night and .71 divided by 3 in the day.  Creeping down from my current dose of 1.42.  It still seems so high.  I keep reminding myself I started at 6mg. and I am doing well, one day at a time.

 

Happy palindrome day 02022020....May all endings become new beginnings!

 

Luey