Tapering off Ativan Support Thread

[[Fi...]]

hi everyone!

 

marcus, so sorry you've been suffering since age of 14.  i hope you will be able to find that pdoc who truly cares for the patient, rather than his pocket. i believe you might have an expired batch, since not many people have access to brand name.  Try to find alternative the best you can. best of luck to you!! oh also, i would recommend you slowly taper off the benzos.  it maybe the root cause to a lot of the sxs you're experiencing.

 

tech, did you just split your dose into 3, since you switched to liquid?  that might be why you're experiencing all these withdraw sxs.  you're at such low dose now. it might not be in your best interest to split now.  it might make each individual dose so tiny that they lack any effects. that's just my 2 cents.

 

powerball, it's great you're able to drop from 4mg to 3.5!  slow taper or not, keep doing what's working for you! we are all here to cheer you on! 

 

luey, life's been picking up pace. however, me and sierra will continue be back to provide support and encouragement.

 

as for me, the sxs are very minimal now at 3.5 weeks post benzo.  occasionally, i would get a bit irritated or anxious, but i'm done blaming benzo for all the bad things i'm experiencing.  one lesson i take away from this benzo ordeal is now i take nothing for granted and learned to treasure every little moments. 

 

wish everyone well!

[[te...]]

Powerball so happy for you that is great !

Luey , you are doing great as well , thinking of everyone

Marcus hope you feel better soon .

Fisherk

That’s for the response , no I have always dosed 3 times a day .

Hope you are well .

Lisa

[[si...]]

Hi Ativan Friends,

 

As I write this, it's 2:45am.  I'll be back and do what I can to help, but sleep has been extra rough for me lately.  Although I'm done dosing, some sxs, such as insomnia, continue to plague me. 

 

I'd encourage everybody, if you need help sooner, to post on one of the main forum boards such as Support During Withdrawal, so more buddies will see and might offer their experience and perspective.

 

Thanks for your understanding.  Wishing everybody well.

 

xo,

sierra 

[[te...]]

Wishing you well Sierra

Lisa

[[...]]

Hi Sierra,

 

Sorry to hear about your sleep.  I can't remember or don't know if you've told us if you have found anything or a combination of things that sometimes help. 

 

I have been impressed by how well low dose, timed release melatonin has been helping me on nights when I can't fall asleep easily.  Likely you have tried this and many things already.  Sending you thoughts of good rest.... zzzzz.

 

You are so sweet in your support of everyone else.  Please take care of yourself first- its so important.

 

Hoping you are in dreamland now.  As you have told me, please give yourself extra TLC.

 

From the northern sierras to the southern sierras, wishing you well,

 

Abrazos,

 

Luey   

[[si...]]

You're both so sweet, Luey & Lisa!    Thank you!

 

I'll be back later today & read through the latest posts.

 

Let's all make the best of the day we've been dealt and try to find silver linings!

 

xo,

sierra 

 

 

[[Fi...]]

this is what another shared with me when i was struggling during taper. now i want share it with you guys/girls

 

The themes of the stories often go like this:

 

Start off tapering as fast as a doctor tells you is safe.

Find out he is wrong.

Hold and stabilize.

Start up much more slowly.

Switch to a Daily Micro-taper.

Start up again s-l-o-w-l-y being careful not to get ahead of your body's ability to heal.

Successfully step off the drug without long-lasting damage.

 

Better to skip the first 3 steps!

[[si...]]

As an update, I live with my parents and was e-mailing them about these symptoms.

 

My dad keeps track of all my pill bottles because I have OCD about being around chemicals.

 

Anyhow, he woke up after reading my e-mail and found two bottles of Mylan Ativan with about 15 tablets and more in the other--he didn't know how many. Not sure why didn't use that up--probably because I was afraid of the switch when it was discontinued and wanted to save some.

 

He came up and gave me 1 to take instead of the name brand that seems to be a bad batch.

 

That was around 145 AM. I forgot I had even taken it, and then around 315 AM, I noticed my headache was gone. I noticed I was sleepy but could actually lean into the sleepiness rather than the exhausting tired but can't let go feeling where I'm fussing and agitating. I feel like I could have taken 1/4 of that same 1 mg tablet and it would have done far more than this batch of name brand has been doing, if it's been doing anything at all.

 

I just feel 100% different.

 

And I was clear enough to realize something. The pharmacist said that my last Ativan was filled from two different manufacturer's bottles—one open 100 count bottle that had 80 tablets left in it, and from another 100 count bottle that was full and that she took another 10 out of to make a 30 day supply (90 tablets). Both bottles have the same lot number. My replacement is coming from the second bottle that she took 10 tablets from.

 

She has also told me I'm the only person in the pharmacy who uses name brand Ativan.

 

That means that I must have previously taken 20 tablets from the one that had the 80 left in it, but had never before from the one that now has 90 left in it, which is what they're going to replace my medicine with.

 

I had symptoms a while back after an antibiotic, but that went away. I've never felt anything like this. I think I've got mostly (80 out of the 90--mixed together so now way to know) tablets from a bottle I've been on before, and yet have never felt anything like this. And then maybe it was the new vial that had the 10 mixed in that I've taken. Perhaps those are the ones melting and not working. Because not all of them have melted. But overall I haven't felt better except for one time taking a dose on this recent batch.

 

The 'bad' pills are the melting ones, right?  Seems to me, a reason they may be melting so easily is they may have been sealed incorrectly and potentially absorbed moisture from the air (this could be especially plausible if the area is humid).  If so, moisture can cause the active ingredient to become destabilized and lose potency. 

 

In general the name brand seemed less well made than Mylan in that it chipped in the bottle and wouldn't split without crumbling, but never felt it not working like this.

 

Still extremely confused at why they insist on replacing with same bottle. Now that I may have enough Mylan until the replacement bottle comes, I wonder if they'll let me replace with that instead.

 

The pharmacist seems very intent on replacing with what they already have, but that may have been in part because the company wanted it back so fast and it meant I would need to take whatever the pharmacist had rather than wait for a replacement to arrive (I reported it last Wednesday and she said not arriving until the end of this week).

 

I feel like I'm not fighting to think, which is what I had been having to do.

 

If only Mylan still made Ativan. This is not a long-term solution but does confirm to me that the name-brand has been a bad batch.

 

I would ask/insist they replace with Mylan (if it can be sourced anywhere), especially if you find it works better or another generic you're comfortable with.  No sense in getting medication that doesn't work as well.  I would think the pharmacist, or any reasonable person, would agree. Could your pharmacist refer you to another doc?  For your well being, perhaps be firm with them on this issue.  Sorry you're getting such a run around.

 

Are you planning to start tapering from Ativan or Valium?

 

Hope this all works out for you, Marcus.

 

xo,

sierra 

[[si...]]

Sierra

I had an ok day . Anxiety and just don’t feel myself . But doable

Night time is the worst slept for a bit but when I wake at 2 am I feel very uncomfortable physically I feel like shakes inside unable to get comfortable can’t fall back to sleep . Muscle tightness.

Any ideas ? I will give it more time . I am not reducing just staying at 28.6 ml divided into 3 doses .

Thank you

Lisa

 

Hi Lisa,

 

I'm sorry you're not feeling well!  I had these sxs when I was at your current dose. 

 

The inside shakes are like you drank way too much caffeine and feel edgy, your heart beats too fast - I started calling this hamster heart - and your body is just buzzing away.  It is super uncomfortable.  When this came about, I'd go out on a walk to try and burn up that anxious energy.  At least then, the buzzing more matched what my body was doing.  It seemed to be the most pronounced when I'd be sitting or doing something relaxing. 

 

Sleep for me was always an issue throughout my taper.  When I started tapering, I got 2-4 hours of sleep nightly.  Then it increased to 4-5 towards the end of my taper.  Post jump, it's averaged 4-6 hours. 

 

I'm not sure it's the liquid vs dry cut, it may just be withdrawal sxs.  Maybe if you reduce slower, the sxs will lessen.  Practicing coping skills, meditating, getting exercise, CBT for sleep hygiene all could help.  Are you doing any of these regularly?

 

What do you think would help?  Has any external stress impacted you lately?  How's your mom's situation? 

 

Hope these ideas help you trouble shoot so you might find some relief, Lisa.

 

xo,

sierra 

 

 

[[po...]]

Sierra,

 

I am going to do a 0.004 reduction tonight. I am almost at 3.5 mg from 4mg and 0.003 has been so effective but I am tired of the benzo. I really want it out of my system.  I think I can do it tonight unless my reverse placebo effect reminds me in bed that I reduced faster tonight. Let's see. With only 4-6 hours of sleep, do you really fell better with regard to sleep post-benzo? Powerball

[[si...]]

Sierra,

 

I am going to do a 0.004 reduction tonight. I am almost at 3.5 mg from 4mg and 0.003 has been so effective but I am tired of the benzo. I really want it out of my system.  I think I can do it tonight unless my reverse placebo effect reminds me in bed that I reduced faster tonight. Let's see. With only 4-6 hours of sleep, do you really fell better with regard to sleep post-benzo? Powerball

 

Hi Powerball,

 

Congratulations for almost getting to 3.5mg!  That's a great achievement!

 

I understand being tired of the benzo.  I was too, and that's why I tapered faster than most - I didn't want to be tapering longer than I'd been taking it as prescribed.

 

Here's how I look at sleep post-benzo:  It's the best sleep I've gotten since the few months I took a benzo.  The benzo was supposed to be a quick fix for my insomnia.  At the time, I had no idea how addictive it was or how it disrupted natural brain functions.  The benzo only helped my sleep for the first 3 months.  At that point in time, I was faced with either updosing from 1mg or tapering.  So, I decided to taper after the winter holidays.  I was lucky my pharmacist warned me that I should get off sooner rather than later, because of the damage they do to the brain. 

 

Now, I am fortunately benzo- free and still working on good sleep hygiene.  Some nights are better than others.  However, I understand that regaining a natural sleep function takes time.  Because I want natural sleep to return, I avoid taking any medications or supplements to chemically induce sleep.  It's rather difficult, but I've (mostly) learned to accept the lack of sleep.  It's actually amazing that my body and mind have adapted and I can usually function well.

 

Continuing with healthy habits and allowing time to pass, and maybe some luck, my 4-6 hours of sleep will grow into 8 quality hours of natural sleep one day. 

 

I hope that helps explain. 

 

So glad you're doing well!

 

xo,

sierra 

 

[[...]]

Fisher,  Thanks for the quote.  A lot of truth to it! 

 

The themes of the stories often go like this:

 

Start off tapering as fast as a doctor tells you is safe.

Find out he is wrong.

Hold and stabilize.

Start up much more slowly.

Switch to a Daily Micro-taper.

Start up again s-l-o-w-l-y being careful not to get ahead of your body's ability to heal.

Successfully step off the drug without long-lasting damage.

 

Better to skip the first 3 steps!

 

[[te...]]

Sierra

I am trying to keep busy and yes it happens when I try to relax .

My mom is doing ok . And when stress comes symptoms are worse . I have not cut yet but I am trying to figure out how ?

I am now dozing 3 x a day so if o continue how would I break that up evenly ? If I continue reducing just the middle amount then I will have nothing left for my middle dose ? Or do I keep adjusting the 3 doses evenly but that’s never going to be even ? Right now it’s 10 ml at 10 am 8.6 ml at 6pm and 10 ml at 2 am . Should I just pull the entire dose at one time then just split it into 3 doses as evenly as possible ?

Any suggestions ?

[[te...]]

Sierra

Did you jump at 0.25?

I am at 0.28

I could not imagine jumping at that ?

Do I have my numbers wrong ?

[[si...]]

Sierra

Did you jump at 0.25?

I am at 0.28

I could not imagine jumping at that ?

Do I have my numbers wrong ?

 

I jumped at .025mg.  That extra zero to the right of the decimal point makes a big difference!  I agree, jumping from .25mg A is WAY too high!

 

xo,

sierra 

[[si...]]

Sierra

I am trying to keep busy and yes it happens when I try to relax .

My mom is doing ok . And when stress comes symptoms are worse . I have not cut yet but I am trying to figure out how ?

I am now dozing 3 x a day so if o continue how would I break that up evenly ? If I continue reducing just the middle amount then I will have nothing left for my middle dose ? Or do I keep adjusting the 3 doses evenly but that’s never going to be even ? Right now it’s 10 ml at 10 am 8.6 ml at 6pm and 10 ml at 2 am . Should I just pull the entire dose at one time then just split it into 3 doses as evenly as possible ?

Any suggestions ?

 

Hi Lisa,

 

Your dosing goal is to keep blood levels consistently even throughout the day.  The way to do that is by keeping each dose as equal as possible.  So dropping a dose is not a good idea.  That will create interdose withdrawals, which you want to avoid.  What I did was kept my bedtime dose slightly higher than my other doses.  I dosed 4x per day. 

 

Is there a reason you're doing 3x per day?  And why wake up at 2am to dose?  Could you shift dosing so one of them isn't when you're supposed to be sleeping?  I know you may not be sleeping, but I wouldn't wake myself up to dose.  Any sleep I was getting was much too precious.  Does that make sense? 

 

Hope this helps. 

 

xo,

sierra 

[[te...]]

Yes , but I don’t sleep past 130 ever . Ok I will just divide the number by 3 to get the closest dose for all 3 times

Thank you

[[te...]]

sierra

Didnt want to bother you again... but I am pretty sure I made my solution wrong today I think I short myself 5 to 9 ml of water.

already took my 10 am dose . My next dose is at 6pm not sure what to do.

Tried to post something on tiration taper  but still no answers.

 

[[si...]]

sierra

Didnt want to bother you again... but I am pretty sure I made my solution wrong today I think I short myself 5 to 9 ml of water.

already took my 10 am dose . My next dose is at 6pm not sure what to do.

Tried to post something on tiration taper  but still no answers.

 

Hi Lisa,

 

For starters, don't worry.  Even if it's off, it's just this once and won't hurt your taper. 

 

Do you have a measuring beaker, graduated cylinder, or some container with ml demarcations, to pour the rest of today's solution into?  If so, you can check if you're off and, if so, by how much.  Pour your remaining solution into the measuring vessel.  If you measured correctly, you should have whatever the amount your last dose was subtracted from your original 50ml solution remaining. 

 

If it reads that amount - all is well and keep using this solution.  If it is off, as you suspect, for simplicity's sake, I would dump it and redo prior to your next dosing.

 

If you happen to be off, it's not a big deal because it's just this once and it's really a tiny amount.  OK?

 

Hope this helps!

 

xo,

sierra 

 

modified to add:  Lisa - I edited out exact measurements, as I don't know how much your dose are.

[[te...]]

Ok thank you

[[...]]

Good Report

 

Hello Friends,

 

I would like to share my positive experiences of the last couple of days, not to minimize or compare to those who are suffering, but to give hope to anyone who might be reading.

 

I have felt so much more like my "normal" healthy self, its encouraging that healing is happening.  I started yesterday by going to a 90 minute yoga class and afterwards spent a few hours out in my yard doing some fairly strenuous work digging flower beds and lifting stones and concrete pavers for a walkway.  Today I went for a beautiful wild flower hike with a friend. I'm happy this physical activity has been followed by a good feeling and not exercise fatigue.  I guess this is what is called a window here on BBs; for me its a much needed experience of myself as a well person.

 

My windows and waves come and go weekly for no discernible reason.  Have any of you had these kind of symptom free days while tapering?

 

Nature and moving feel like my best medicine, it always makes me feel better.  Having a hiking buddy who I can share and be myself with helps too.

 

I have been able to slowly and steadily DLMT in the last three weeks.  If all goes well, in five more days I will be at 2.75mgs. (down from 6mgs. daily in five months).  I know I still have many months and a long way to go, but these good days do give a glimpse (and reprieve) of what is possible and that this often challenging journey is worthwhile.

 

Wishing good moments or days for everyone!  Keep the faith!  Exercise, do things you enjoy, eat nourishing food and allow yourself to rest.

 

I would love to hear about anyone's positive experiences and small victories.

 

Luey

 

 

[[po...]]

Luey, In two days I will be at 3.5 mg down from 4. That took about 6 weeks. But I started reducing 0,001 for a long time and now I am reducing 0.004 per day. I still have my 10 hr work days (with commute) but having a routine and fairly rigid schedule helps me. Glad you are feeling better. Powerball.

[[...]]

Hi Powerball,

 

Good work, I admire you for taking it slow and keeping your symptoms at bay so you can do well in your career.    I look forward to following your progress in the months ahead.  Both of us started at a relatively high dose, but we are going to reduce (get off!) Ativan little by little.

 

Determination balanced by a whole lot of patience (not my strong point, but have to accept), staying positive and going at a speed to let our bodies adjust will help us succeed.

 

Keep taking good care of yourself.

 

Luey

[[si...]]

Hi Ativan Friends!

 

It's great to hear you're doing so well, Luey!  I agree - getting out in nature and doing exercise to the best of one's ability are amazing healers.  You're more than half way through your taper, which is also something to celebrate!  Congratulations!

 

Like you, powerball, I had to work during my taper, so had to manage it such that symptoms didn't run away from me.  That's a tricky balance, but one you are clearly successful at.  Discovering you've been able to increase your taper rate is also a big win!  I'm super happy for you!

 

What happened with the possibly mis-measured liquid, Lisa?  I hope your sxs are lessening.

 

I'm happy to pass on that FisherK is doing great!  Hopefully he'll stop by soon.  And I got 7 hours of completely unaided (no supplements or medications) sleep last night, so it is possible!    It just takes time working on sleep hygiene and maintaining healthy habits.  I probably won't get that every night, but it's progress in the right direction, proving good sleep is possible for others with sleep issues.

 

xo,

sierra 

[[te...]]

So happy for everyone !

Sierra  I re made the solution .

Thank you feeling a bit better