Post Benzo Protracted Withdrawal Support Group

[[we...]]

geez, does the anxiety ever go away.  I DID NOT HAVE IT BEFORE but I sure do now.  It has decreased, but I still feel like my finger is stuck in an electrical socket. 

[[Wh...]]

geez, does the anxiety ever go away.  I DID NOT HAVE IT BEFORE but I sure do now.  It has decreased, but I still feel like my finger is stuck in an electrical socket.

 

I really hope that this fades for you soon Welly.  The phase of feeling like I was being electrocuted lasted for the first year and since then I feel as if I have been recovering from the electrocution.  Well, at least the voltage has been turned down.  Congrats on coming so far in this process, can't believe it's been a year and 4 months for you already.  Time sure flies when we're having fun!!!

[[Ma...]]

Hi Buddies,

 

I have been benzo free now about two years after being on the drugs for around 3 years.  I still have joint and muscle pain which is my biggest concern.  I have pain and soreness often after sleeping in one position or another.  I also have been experiencing weird joint pain in my fingers, wrist and ankle which can be severe.  I never had any kind of muscles pain before I started taking benzos and noticed my worst symptoms after being on Xanax.  My fear is that these symptoms will never go away and are now permanent.....

 

 

 

Maggie

[[st...]]

Margo, I am off a bit longer than you and I can totally relate to the pain.  Mine started again around the 3 year mark off date.  I, too, never had muscle/bone pain before Xanax.  Hopefully, this will resolve for the both of us.

 

Patty  xo

[[Ma...]]

Hi Patty,

 

I still find it unbelievable that years after being off this junk, we are still suffering.  Sometimes in my more severe experiences my wrist joint felt like it was actually separated from my arm.  Very strange and something I know I have never experienced before.  Even tonight my fingers feel swollen and uncomfortable, its just plain weird!  I guess we just have to keep moving forward.  I do believe that time will heal.  But at least we are drug free and that's what counts.....

 

 

Margo

[[...]]

Hi Mountain, my wife suffers from similar symptoms as you.  She went  c/t 4 yrs ago from Valium and suffered so bad that she had to go on, and eventually tapered after using Ambian as well.  She got off free of Benzo's 1.5-2 years ago and has lost all protracted w/d symptoms other than LR, burning in the throat, lump in the throat.  She tends to feel this as soon as she gets up.  She also has gone to the gastro doctor who scoped her found slight irritation suggested Nexium, which did not work  At that time she had regular reflux, which went away and eventually all that is left is LR.....

 

I am wondering how you are feeling now?  Bobo and Lisa

[[Br...]]

Just thought I'd add myself as another protracted withdrawal statistic for posterity;).  Am now about 22 months off.  Have numerous symptoms, the most debilitating being severe head pressure - especially in my forehead.  Am completely home/couch bound etc. 

 

Praying for some relief for all of us.

 

[[Ho...]]

Sorry you had to join the club too. 

 

This far out, it's easy to feel like you've hit a dead end, isnt it? Just have to hang on to hope and read success stories where people healed after a long time of suffering.

 

Here's one of my favorite success stories:

 

http://www.bcnc.org.uk/richardsklonopin.html

[[Ho...]]

I posted this in the wrong thread - to all of you newbies out there I apologize - I didn't want to scare you...I wanted to come to this thread and ask for encouragement.  I am very very depressed and don't know if it is me, my continual benzo w/d or now my a/d w/d.

    I took my last benzo 21 months ago and suffered the horror of sx like all of us do.  I waited a year to start tapering off my Prozac w/d.  It has been 10 months now and I have tapered down from 20 to 8 mg.  I have been hit with a horrible depression and much worse waves than I have had in a long time just in the last two weeks. 

    I don't know if this is from my continual benzo w/d, my prozac taper or if it is just me and I need to go back on the Prozac or find another a/d.  I would appreciate any comments or thoughts you might have.  If there is anyone who has gone through or is gong through this now, please contact me.  I am so down and just need some encouragement..  Thank you for listening

Hoping2BFree

[[km...]]

Hoping,

I myself am 21 months benzo free but only 7 month a/d free and believe me it's been horrible for the past 7 months.  I also waited a year before I began my taper of the a/d and I took 3 months to get off.  This is brutal but know I'm surviving and so will you.  After i tapered the a/d I went back into extreme withdrawal and have been there ever since as has Princezz.  Just hang in there things are getting a little better but very very slowly.  Sounds like you are going thru what Princezz and I are going thru so if you need any encouragement feel free to pm me.

Hugs

Kristin

[[Ho...]]

Thank you so much Kristen- I appreciate your support....I'm still on the damn A/D and holding but truly suffering.  I will pm you....thank you so much

Hoping

[[...]]

No one can tell you for sure what causes what.  If you are suffering depression, that could just be depression from the whole experience, which the A/D was helping and A/D withdrawal seems to cause depression for some people.  Other symptoms could be benzo related, A/D withdrawal, or benzo flare-up from the A/D withdrawal

[[...]]

I am 14 months out, so not protracted, but had a question for those in protracted:

 

Did any of the symptoms that you are still suffering start for the first time, or get worse, toward the end of the first year?  I had a pretty good first 7 or 8 months, with a flareup at around 3.5 months, which I hear is typical.  Around 8 months off, I was at about 90%, and only focused on when the reamining symptoms would go away.  Starting soon after that, things got worse than ever.  They are not as bad as they were at around 10 months, but not as good as last year.

 

Comments welcome.

[[Ho...]]

Barn - thanks for your response.  Anything is possible in this evil journey.  Glad to hear you didn't have it too bad at first - that is a good thing.  But flare-ups happen at any time and who knows why?  Just keep going - one foot in front of the other....you will get there.

Hoping2BFree

[[Ho...]]

I've also been having depression lately too, and I have not been on any ADs at all.

[[km...]]

Hope-Friend,

I see you were only on the benzo how are you feeling now?  I see so many of us who tapered benzo and an anti-depressant and still suffering into the 2 year mark and thought the taper of the anti-depressant was making me suffer longer.  Just curious how you were feeling?

Hugs

Kristin

[[Ho...]]

I feel pretty much like the rest of you do. I had a lot of windows the last 3 months or so. Even went back to work. Now my symptoms have returned again. My work is slow right now anyhow, but I start again Monday. Thank God I'm self employed or I wouldn't have a job.

 

One thing I can say, is that my windows keep getting better, and last much longer. The bad spells are not constant like they used to be. Everything just keeps going (As hoping2befree says) like a yoyo. Symptoms come and go, some scary and some just regular.

 

Symptoms right now are:

 

*Increased fear, anxiety, thoughts of death of myself and those around me

*Depression

*Nerve Pain (sciatic, lower back, and especially legs below the knees and into feet)

*occasional dizzy spells that are scary, especially if driving

*floaters, and black swirling lines in vision especially when I look at the sky or white backgrounds (this symptom has been here 1 1/2 years non stop)

*excessive stomach acid, and other various Gastrointestinal ailments

*muscles fatigue easier

 

The 100 degree heat does not help with any of this at all!

 

 

[[Al...]]

 

 

Daily Log:

 

      July 16, 2012    2 Years 0 Days Clean

 

Nicotine Taper Day X (Began at 54mg):

Cuts: 12mg: 10/16;

11 mg. patch + (21) lozenges >> 55 mg = Current Total 55 mg

 

Sleep Snapshot:

Yesterday's Nicotine: 55 mg.

Yesterday's Alcohol: 2.50 ozs.

Sleep: 8.00 hrs.

Awakened at: Midnight for 5 minutes

Sleep Aids:  1/2 melatonin, 1/2 benadryl

 

Bed @:  10:15 PM  Asleep @:  10:30 PM  DIFF: _0.25 Hrs_

Awake @:  _6:30 AM_  Up @:  _6:45 AM_  DIFF: _o.25 Hrs_  Sleep: _8.00 Hrs_      Naps: _XXX Hrs_

 

Sleep Quality Rating (0=Very Poor >>> 10=Great):  _8.5_

Anxiety Rating (0=None >>> 10=Worst):  _2.0_ 

 

Mood Rating (0=Very Poor >>> 10=Great):  _8.0_

Motivation Rating (0=Unmotivated >>> 10=Very Motivated):  _8.0_ 

Energy Rating (0=Very Fatigued >>> 10=Very Energetic):  _7.5_ 

Pain Rating (0=None >>> 10=Worst):  _2.0_ 

 

Overall Daily Rating (0=Sucked >>> 10=Great):  _8.0_ 

 

Notes:  Today is my 2-year anniversary off of benzos, ambien and vicodin. I feel SO much better. The horrible memories of withdrawal are beginning to fade away, though I'll never forget them completely, because I don't want to. Yet they don't haunt me anymore.

 

Morning anxiety is pretty much gone. That was perhaps my most horrible symptom other than horrible insomnia. I now sleep through the night almost every night, and when I don't I'm usually awake only 5 minutes.

 

Sleep has improved significantly in the past 3 months. I have gone from usually sleeping 6-1/2 to 8 hours, to usually sleeping 7-3/4 to 9-1/4 hours. I'm sleeper more peacefully and awakening more peaceful in the morning. I generally get to sleep in about 5 to 10 minutes at night.

 

Overall I would upgrade my total recovery from 75%, which I posted in my signature about 9 months ago, up to at least 90%. I have some life factors, (family troubles with our son) that make it really hard to evalutate whether I'm 90% recovered or perhaps even higher.

The good news for anyone feeling protracted withdrawal is that I can positively feel a big difference in the past 3 months from 21 months out to 24 months out. Significant healing and recovery took place the past 3 months.

 

Other symptoms, I can't even remember them all, but off the top of my head, I have had:

 

No sweats or chills for well over a year

Appetite normal for at least a year

No dizzyness for over a year

No shakes, twitches or ticks for at least 6 months

No headaches or toothaches for at least a year

No trouble concentrating for at least a year

 

Symptoms I still experience:

Occasionally wake up and have a little trouble getting back to sleep (maybe once a month)

Occasionally experience a little bit of morning anxiety (maybe twice a month, but the degree is minimal)

Occasionally have a weird muscle ache or spasm (fairly often, but I've had a lot of back injuries, and that's likely the cause).

Fairly frequent bleary, itchy watery eyes (but I've had life long allergies, so this isn't really anything new)

 

Anyway, just want to send a note of encouragement for anybody who's a year to 18 months out, and feeling completely plateaued for months but not feeling 100%;  I was stuck on a plateau for at least 9 to 12 months without any real changes, but then in the past 3 months (months 21 to 24) made significant progress in recovery. So, at least in my experience, recovery does happen up to 2 years out.

 

The way things are going, I rate my recovery as at least 90% and I feel confident that the other 10% will come over time. I'm at peace with where my recovery is at, so I'm not worried about exactly when. Life is quite good at 90% recovered.

 

Peace and strength to you all. This can be done and it's just a function of time. Hang in there! 

 

 

Breakthroughs:  2 years clean and feeling very good. Getting lots of exercise, good food, and decent sleep.

 

Symptoms: Just a bit of allergy eyes and a stiff back (not bad for a 55 year old with arthritis and allergies). 

 

Wgt _184 lbs._    BP: _XXX/XX (XX) _ 

 

Meals: (Y/N): _B, L, D_    Water: _16 glasses_

 

Walked: _30 mins. _  Biked:  _120 mins. _ 

 

Nicotine: _XX_ mg.  Alcohol: _X_  ozs.

[[st...]]

Just curious....seems like I knew this was coming three weeks ago and then thing really flared and went downhill the past week.  Getting hit so hard with everything and haven't been this down for this long and it doesn't seem to be leaving any time soon.  Last night I really got scared thinking that this just can't be happening.  The only thing that keeps me able to hold on to some hope is that I have read a lot how people get really bad waves right before they finally heal???  I haven't felt this bad in months.  Has this happened to others???  Just looking for some hope and validation.

[[km...]]

Stronger,

Yes it's happening to me and I've have read so many others at this time frame going thru the same thing.  Hang in there.

Hugs

Kristin

[[ma...]]

For the older, long-term users who Ct'd,  it sure takes a long, long time to feel good.  The worst is certainly behind, but mucky head, muscle soreness, ringing in ears and lethargy persist.

[[li...]]

Managed:  Have to say I concur with your summary. I'm 25 months clear of all benzos and alcohol. I'm better than the early days but still suffering. What you call "mucky head, muscle soreness and ringing in the ears" are my main symptoms too. Except I would put ringing in the ears at the top of my list.

 

I seem to have settled into a condition that only has small waves and no real windows, though sometimes I feel I'm getting close to normality only to have it snatched away again by God Knows What, the whim of the benzo poison.

 

I'm encouraged by the posts on this  thread where some people are having signs of a real cure this late into withdrawal. I live in hope of freedom soon. And wish everybody here a final cure.

[[li...]]

Stronger: I  got kicked like you well into my withdrawal.  About 19/20months in. Lasted a few weeks then back to a sort of acceptable level of punishment. Nothing like it since. Though it could happen again, I know it went away and I'm ready for it again should it happen. It will go away too.

 

I think this is a long slow journey with some bad setbacks along the way. Like following a lousy football team. But one day they win something.

[[st...]]

Oh guys I really appreciate all your responses!  I have really been struggling with this.  The only thing I think might have triggered it was overdoing it.  I did go on vacation with my family to the beach for a week, then turned around and did soccer nationals for one of my kids which lasted a week.  Then it all just came on me so suddenly.  I still deal with issues on a daily basis, mostly the head, muscle, and tinnitus issues like mentioned above and can usually cope but this week it's like a rainstorm of symptoms just came on me....I never even realized how long gone that cog fog and derealization was until it has all come on me again with all kinds of physical symptoms....like I am being bombarded with a little of everything at once! 

 

Guys I truly couldn't tell you how thankful I am for this consolation!  I was really starting to get that fear back and all that self talk about this being permanent, etc. because usually when I am hit with a wave, they are short lived but this has been nonstop for some time now.  Just to hear that this has happened to others and that they have comeout of it gives me some hope that this too will pass.....wow!  What would we do without each other???  I am so thankful for your help! 

[[Ja...]]

3 years off today! I didn't care too much about 1 or 2 years off because I didn't feel that great. Today is different and I do feel progress has been made.

Am I 100% I don't think I'm close, but I'm learning to live my life despite having symptoms as they don't own me. Still living in Colombia and chances right now are good that I will return to either the U.S. or Mexico in about 3 months.  Life is a challenge and I'm no longer hidding behind symptoms (at least not every day) like I used to...that is progress to me...symptoms yes, fear year, tears yes, bad times yes, but all need to be dealt with and none are stopping me as long as I'm alive...