Doctors who say "Some people need to be on these drugs for life"

[[va...]]

The telephone conversation I had with the benzo expert from NIDA really opened my eyes as to what was going on.

I'm curious, how did that go?

[[Pe...]]

Hey VG!  I wrote about the conversation on page 10 of my blog.  Glad to see you again--Let me know how you are doing on my blog while you are there since the PM system is still down.

[[Fl...]]

Here's the kicker- being on a benzo "for life" wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing if you weren't experiencing tolerance WD or intolerable side effects such as depression, but on top of all of that these drugs change you as a person.

 

Of course I didn't realize this when I was on them. That's part of the problem. But now that I have had windows I can see that the clonazepam had turned me into an apathetic lump. My business and personal life suffered tremendously as a result. So besides the fact that I was living with low grade depression and feeling nasty most of the time (tolerance WD anyone?) I was also suffering from a lack of motivation, my creativity basically disappeared, and I became extremely cynical. I could be wrong but I doubt those things were due to tolerance.

 

Come to think of it I know two other people who are/were on psych drugs. One of them I know is taking Xanax cause I talked to him about it. Both of these guys are terribly cynical. And neither one of them USED to be like that.

[[Pe...]]

I agree FloridaGuy, especially with your statement "Of course I didn't realize this when I was on them. That's part of the problem."  It definitely made me cynical and don't even get me started on tolerance w/d sx's.  In a nut shell they were basically throwing a wrench into every bodily system, causing a wide array of baffling symptoms (of course in hindsight they are no longer baffling now that I know what benzos can do!).

[[Ni...]]

I agree FloridaGuy, especially with your statement "Of course I didn't realize this when I was on them. That's part of the problem."  It definitely made me cynical and don't even get me started on tolerance w/d sx's.  In a nut shell they were basically throwing a wrench into every bodily system, causing a wide array of baffling symptoms (of course in hindsight they are no longer baffling now that I know what benzos can do!).

 

I agree FloridaGuy and Perseverance, when started on Xanax it was a very small amount for years, .25mg -.75mg daily--I was completely unaware of any changes--at the time. I believe I hit tolerance w/d around 5 years after I was on it, but how would I know at the time that it had anything to do with the drug? I was not told it was physiologically addicting. I made no connection to things going on in my life and Xanax. My feelings were blunted.

 

I'm pretty sure I know exactly when the tolerance w/d started--at the same time I had run short of my regular dose. I went out of the country for 6 weeks. I only had about 3 weeks worth of the Xanax that I normally took DAILY. In the back of my mind I was slightly nervous, but then it's normal to feel a little nervous about a long distance/time trip. The trip was in an extremely remote area in another country. How dangerous is that? What if I would have lost the Xanax and not even known I was c/ting? It was a difficult trip to be sure, with half my regular dose, but I had know idea not having 'enough' Xanax was causing much of my anxiety, no idea.

 

I know I will finish my taper and my life will come back, it's just hard not to think about how different things may have been had I not ever taken a benzodiazepine.