For Christians regarding faith

[[Sl...]]

Hi ….Has anyone suffered from ongoing thoughts of losing their salvation, their eternity and standing with God? I’ve considered myself a born again Christian for 30 years.  At the end of my rapid taper (3 years ago)  my health tanked pretty severely.  What started with a voice condemning me for every sin and disobedience in 30 years, which, I was guilty of, has developed into thoughts about going to hell! I have repented, eliminated sinful habits, did inner healing and deliverance, prayed with others….but I’m plagued by thoughts of lust salvation, rejection by God and where I will spend eternity.  I cannot find peace.  I never struggled in this area prior to w/d.  I’m off 3 years, my nervous system has been pretty badly attacked and damaged.  

[[Co...]]

Hello @[Sl...]. Welcome to BenzoBuddies.

What you describe there is not something I can relate to directly, but other members might. What I can say is that benzodiazepines did a real number on my thought processes at the time, but I did eventually recover. And these kinds of disruptions to our thinking are true for very many of our members. But we do recover.

[[Bu...]]

Hey @[Sl...],

I'm sorry you're having so many struggles right now.  I agree with @[Co...] that benzos can really mess with our thought processes.  I had some similar issues regarding my faith because of the disruption to logic and reasoning as well as emotions that withdrawal causes.  It seems like these are things best talked about in person, so I took my questions and uncertainties to my pastor.  The in-person conversation was very reassuring. 

[[ve...]]

The whole thing messes with our current understanding of ourselves and our beliefs (whatever they may be).  I guess you're interpreting the symptoms through your Christian perspective.

 

[[Ch...]]

On 13/04/2024 at 16:10, [[S...] said:

Hi ….Has anyone suffered from ongoing thoughts of losing their salvation, their eternity and standing with God? I’ve considered myself a born again Christian for 30 years.  At the end of my rapid taper (3 years ago)  my health tanked pretty severely.  What started with a voice condemning me for every sin and disobedience in 30 years, which, I was guilty of, has developed into thoughts about going to hell! I have repented, eliminated sinful habits, did inner healing and deliverance, prayed with others….but I’m plagued by thoughts of lust salvation, rejection by God and where I will spend eternity.  I cannot find peace.  I never struggled in this area prior to w/d.  I’m off 3 years, my nervous system has been pretty badly attacked and damaged.  

You're describing "scrupulosity." See here: https://iocdf.org/faith-ocd/what-is-ocd-scrupulosity/

[[ns...]]

On 13/04/2024 at 14:10, [[S...] said:

Hi ….Has anyone suffered from ongoing thoughts of losing their salvation, their eternity and standing with God? I’ve considered myself a born again Christian for 30 years.  At the end of my rapid taper (3 years ago)  my health tanked pretty severely.  What started with a voice condemning me for every sin and disobedience in 30 years, which, I was guilty of, has developed into thoughts about going to hell! I have repented, eliminated sinful habits, did inner healing and deliverance, prayed with others….but I’m plagued by thoughts of lust salvation, rejection by God and where I will spend eternity.  I cannot find peace.  I never struggled in this area prior to w/d.  I’m off 3 years, my nervous system has been pretty badly attacked and damaged.  

Slaw600

I'm so sorry you're struggling with your faith right now.

What you are describing is something we all struggle with fron time to time.

We question our salvation which leads us to question our ability to forgive our own sins.

Only God can forgive our sins, and if we are condemned by others or even our own selves or the enemy, we will struggle with our faith. This is a ploy by the enemy. To get you to believe his lies, to question your salvation!

Christ as you know paid a heavy price for our salvation. The gift of salvation is by faith through grace which we cannot earn. The enemy is a liar and i think you are believing a lie.

I've done this and was reminded to cast the enemy out in Christ name. If We choose to believe a lie we begin to doubt Christ power to save us and forgive us of our sins. 

With repentance, The blood of Jesus washed your sins away. Your sins are no more in the eyes of God, and he is not a man that he should lie. Now you need only to forgive yourself. 

On the cross, Christ said it is finished!

The veil was ripped from top to bottom to the altar of God, and you can walk right in to the Father and talk to him, you don't need a priest, Christ is the High priest, so you can now have a personal relationship with God.

Talk to him as you would your dad or brother mother friend. He is all in all! He is there.

We're all sinners. No one is perfect except Christ.

We all fall short of the glory of God. We are forgiven and it takes faith to believe this. If you are struggling with your faith,

I would suggest you go back to the basics, read the books of ephesians, colossians, galatians etc. Then back to the gospels.

We all need to be refreshed and reminded at times of the scriptures.

Trust the Father, have faith!

Take care

Ns

 

[[Sl...]]

On 14/04/2024 at 18:31, [[C...] said:

You're describing "scrupulosity." See here: https://iocdf.org/faith-ocd/what-is-ocd-scrupulosity/

Never dealt with this remotely prior to coming off benzos.  Seems weird it would just suddenly come on??!

[[Ch...]]

1 minute ago, [[S...] said:

Never dealt with this remotely prior to coming off benzos.  Seems weird it would just suddenly come on??!

Benzos alter the ways our brains work. The timing of it does not change the nature of what it is.

[[wi...]]

On 14/04/2024 at 18:31, [[C...] said:

You're describing "scrupulosity." See here: https://iocdf.org/faith-ocd/what-is-ocd-scrupulosity/

Wow. Really eye opening.

Thanks for sharing!

[[Rh...]]

I wanted to comment on this because I am a Catholic Christian and have gone through many times in this journey wherein I have felt completely abandoned and alone.  I felt no faith or connection and was born and raised a Catholic.  My faith and spirituality has always been the cornerstone of my life and I try to live according to Gods will.

Since coming off my AD 9 months ago I have been sent into the deepest and darkest place I have ever experienced.  I have doubted the Lord, I have cursed Him, I have wondered if it’s all even real and I have felt, as I said earlier, completely alone and abandoned.  
 

I have come to learn that this is the drugs and a big part of withdrawal.  Our minds are not clear and play tricks and lie to us.  Our thoughts are for some reason set to all the negatives and scary things and make us feel crazy.  This is part of the withdrawal brain.

But I also do realize and know that these times are also the very perfect times for the devil to creep in and tell us that what we are feeling is real and that the Lord has abandoned us, and He isn’t real and we are alone.  This time is a vulnerable time for us and all the more reason to dig deep and pray and ask for the Lords help even when we feel unheard and alone.  Don’t let the lies of the devil take hold.

Jesus died and rose to forgive our sins and there is not one single sin that He hasn’t forgiven.  You have done all you can do to repent, but now you must forgive yourself and know that the Lord loves you and knows all your worth.  He never leaves a single sheep alone and will leave his flock to rescue one.  He had already rescued you, you just have to accept his offering of forgiveness.  There is nothing you can do that will separate you from Gods love.

Do remember though that this is part of withdrawal and it’s not really you, and this too shall pass.  Hang in there my friend and I’ll be praying for you.🙏♥️