What on earth is happening lately??

[[co...]]

Yes I've improved, but I still deal with panic, stress intolerance, have a variety of food issues, autoimmune issues, DYSAUTONOMIA that I cannot get diagnosed properly due to medical ignorance and affects the quality of my life, the reoccurring D/P D/R

and the lovely insomnia ")

I recently tried to get help with my migraines which have increased in duration and intensity--PAIN FOR DAYS and nobody will DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT...no referrals to a neurologist, no curiosity from my providers who only seem to be able to read off a computer screen for codes to bill me with. And certainly no pain med.  I just have to suffer...

I am being revenued off of and there is no help

I have operated for YEARS now knowing I cannot make commitments/travel and must take elaborate steps to just go to town...nevermind COVID (long covid sounds very much like BIND eh?)

[[Co...]]

8 minutes ago, [[c...] said:

Yes I've improved, but I still deal with panic, stress intolerance, have a variety of food issues, autoimmune issues, DYSAUTONOMIA that I cannot get diagnosed properly due to medical ignorance and affects the quality of my life, the reoccurring D/P D/R

and the lovely insomnia ")

I have some autoimmune problems too. But nothing serious. I hope you find a suitable doctor and get to the route of the dysautonomia problem soon..

8 minutes ago, [[c...] said:

I recently tried to get help with my migraines which have increased in duration and intensity--PAIN FOR DAYS and nobody will DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT...no referrals to a neurologist, no curiosity from my providers who only seem to be able to read off a computer screen for codes to bill me with. And certainly no pain med.  I just have to suffer...

I suffered a lot with bad headaches during withdrawal and for some years after. And then, migraines. In the end, it seems that cause of the migraines was due to some problems with blood pressure. Certainly, when i resolved the blood pressure problems, the migraines ended. In in the absence of an explanation, I had assumed that the migraines were benzo withdrawal related - I was apparently wrong about that.

8 minutes ago, [[c...] said:

I am being revenued off of and there is no help

I have operated for YEARS now knowing I cannot make commitments/travel and must take elaborate steps to just go to town...nevermind COVID (long covid sounds very much like BIND eh?)

I was like that for years too. Even so, I did - unexpectedly - make good gains 8, 10, or even 12 years later. It sounds as though you have other medical problems occurring too. You might find that when they are resolved, treated or better managed, other things improve too.

[[le...]]

Don’t come on here much so haven:t seen posts you refer to. Think we need to show empathy towards others, I do struggle as been 4 years since I came off the anti depressants, but would never tell people this is permanent. The truth is we don’t know, listen a lot to Melissa Boutilier who says majority of people recover which I think is more accurate statement. My symptoms largely mental so make normal life impossible found it hard to find others who have bad mental symptoms,. Maybe try to encourage those making toxic posts. Think lot people making those posts got other stuff going on as well. I would stay off Facebook groups seem full people making negative comments. I have no idea if I will recover. But would never tell people it is permanent, I have little hope with very few windows but i am very severe case with lot  family issues that don’t help. Stay off too many forums they can be toxic.

[[Ga...]]

Hi Leann….any baby news yet?????

[[le...]]

Don’t come on here much so haven:t seen posts you refer to. Think we need to show empathy towards others, I do struggle as been 4 years since I came off the anti depressants, but would never tell people this is permanent. The truth is we don’t know, listen a lot to Melissa Boutilier who says majority of people recover which I think is more accurate statement. My symptoms largely mental so make normal life impossible found it hard to find others who have bad mental symptoms,. Maybe try to encourage those making toxic posts. Think lot people making those posts got other stuff going on as well. I would stay off Facebook groups seem full people making negative comments. I have no idea if I will recover. But would never tell people it is permanent, I have little hope with very few windows but i am very severe case with lot  family issues that don’t help. Stay off too many forums they can be toxic.

[[le...]]

He’s got a grandchild but means nothing as lives over hour away so gid knows when will see him. Had couple good days then in depths despairs again spent yesterdays y in bed crying all day.bRecoveringg. don’t want discouraging others  butcamn virtually getting no sleep. Please don’t base recovery on mine I am extreme case. Would stay off facebooks seems fool,I’d really say severe horror stiries. Just need a friend wih sjimilatr symptoms xxx 3 years odd antibdepressants the flu jab ; months ff flu jab xx Sorry I’d sound garbled butv1 am in morning and miserable.xxxxx

yesyerdayb

[[Na...]]

Ok, so I'll touch the third rail here.

"Everybody heals".

Can I guarantee you that everyone that is damaged by these drugs eventually makes a full recovery?

Unfortunately not. I have no crystal ball. I'm almost 9 years into this and still dealing with a number of issues (chronic muscle spasms and anxiety issues being the major ones).  In fact, I'm dealing with a major flair up of my muscle spasms in the last couple of weeks which is why I've been a little scarce in these parts.

The only thing I can assure you is that I do believe that everyone can heal. I believe we all have that potential. I've spoken with people that were 8, 10, 12 years off that were in a very bad state and out of nowhere got a major improvement and considered themselves either fully recovered or recovered to the point where benzo damage no longer ruled their lives. And some of these people were in a very bad state indeed and they were absolutely certain that they would never get better.

So if you're someone that thinks the damage is permanent (and believe me, I fully understand having that opinion) - perhaps you will be right or perhaps you might be surprised one day.

There are no assurances in this life - not even for people that never touched a benzo.

The other thing I can tell you is that over time most people do tend to improve. But if you're years out from the end of your taper or CT, you're definitely going to feel like the improvement is at a glacial pace and it's very easy to think that you will never get better.

The last thing I am certain of is that negative thinking never helped anything. If you are someone that ultimately never improves to a point that would satisfy you and you dwell on your miserable state you will only feel your misery more acutely.

If you are on the other hand a person that never ultimately recovers fully but are "deluded" into thinking that one day you will be healed your burden will be lessened. Your experience of suffering will be reduced.

Don't mistake my saying this for my thinking that you can heal yourself with positive thinking. I don't think I really believe that and I feel that it's an unfair assertion because it can imply if you're not recovering you are to blame for not thinking positive enough. The only blame for our situation are these horrible pills we were given too casually. 

But if positive thinking won't heal you, I am absolutely certain that negative thinking will only make you worse. I know because I've been there. 

I'll confess that I've personally lost hope many many times over the years. But, eventually a little seed of it comes back. And you need to nurture that seed as best as you can.

I'll close by saying that in the last 6 months I have noticed that my anxiety issues have definitely gotten better, and I never thought they would. Not perfect but noticeably better. The physical issues are pretty stubborn though. But if one thing can improve, so can the other things. 

There is hope.

[[re...]]

Even if you never get "well" you can still get better. That's what I do.
 

 

[[Na...]]

Just now, [[r...] said:

Even if you never get "well" you can still get better. That's what I do.
 

Exactly.

[[jo...]]

29 minutes ago, [[N...] said:

Ok, so I'll touch the third rail here.

"Everybody heals".

Can I guarantee you that everyone that is damaged by these drugs eventually makes a full recovery?

Unfortunately not. I have no crystal ball. I'm almost 9 years into this and still dealing with a number of issues (chronic muscle spasms and anxiety issues being the major ones).  In fact, I'm dealing with a major flair up of my muscle spasms in the last couple of weeks which is why I've been a little scarce in these parts.

The only thing I can assure you is that I do believe that everyone can heal. I believe we all have that potential. I've spoken with people that were 8, 10, 12 years off that were in a very bad state and out of nowhere got a major improvement and considered themselves either fully recovered or recovered to the point where benzo damage no longer ruled their lives. And some of these people were in a very bad state indeed and they were absolutely certain that they would never get better.

So if you're someone that thinks the damage is permanent (and believe me, I fully understand having that opinion) - perhaps you will be right or perhaps you might be surprised one day.

There are no assurances in this life - not even for people that never touched a benzo.

The other thing I can tell you is that over time most people do tend to improve. But if you're years out from the end of your taper or CT, you're definitely going to feel like the improvement is at a glacial pace and it's very easy to think that you will never get better.

The last thing I am certain of is that negative thinking never helped anything. If you are someone that ultimately never improves to a point that would satisfy you and you dwell on your miserable state you will only feel your misery more acutely.

If you are on the other hand a person that never ultimately recovers fully but are "deluded" into thinking that one day you will be healed your burden will be lessened. Your experience of suffering will be reduced.

Don't mistake my saying this for my thinking that you can heal yourself with positive thinking. I don't think I really believe that and I feel that it's an unfair assertion because it can imply if you're not recovering you are to blame for not thinking positive enough. The only blame for our situation are these horrible pills we were given too casually. 

But if positive thinking won't heal you, I am absolutely certain that negative thinking will only make you worse. I know because I've been there. 

I'll confess that I've personally lost hope many many times over the years. But, eventually a little seed of it comes back. And you need to nurture that seed as best as you can.

I'll close by saying that in the last 6 months I have noticed that my anxiety issues have definitely gotten better, and I never thought they would. Not perfect but noticeably better. The physical issues are pretty stubborn though. But if one thing can improve, so can the other things. 

There is hope.

Really well said! I think ultimately we can think we’re permanent, I know most of us all do at one point or another. But, you never really know if healing is just around the corner. So as long as you’re alive and still breathing I guess there is always hope. Thanks for your insight! I hope you continue to see those much deserved improvements. 9 years is a long time 😔

[[le...]]

I sometimes think there should be a forum for people feeling really desperate with a trigger warning. Just so you had a temporary place to vent but obviously just fir few Dalys.That others could avoid Spent day in bed crying could done with somewhere. Just feel frightened to be too negative   here as just get lot abuse. But do agree people shouldn’t be encouraging sI feelings or make blankets statements everyone will heal. Being a coach must be emotionally draining as they have to make a living, so at the end of day aren’t going tonget regailmstories  of l those who didn’t recover . Anyway stay off Facebook seems full of horror stories.

 

[[Na...]]

4 minutes ago, [[l...] said:

I sometimes think there should be a forum for people feeling really desperate with a trigger warning. Just so you had a temporary place to vent but obviously just fir few Dalys.That others could avoid Spent day in bed crying could done with somewhere. Just feel frightened to be too negative   here as just get lot abuse. But do agree people shouldn’t be encouraging sI feelings or make blankets statements everyone will heal. Being a coach must be emotionally draining as they have to make a living, so at the end of day aren’t going tonget regailmstories  of l those who didn’t recover . Anyway stay off Facebook seems full of horror stories.

I know the threshold for starting a new group is pretty high, but maybe I should start at topic "A Place to Vent - Trigger Warning" in this forum and pin it.

I created at pinned topic at the top of how we deal with the negativity inherent in this forum. Maybe we can bounce this and other ideas around there?

[[le...]]

8 hours ago, [[N...] said:

I know the threshold for starting a new group is pretty high, but maybe I should start at topic "A Place to Vent - Trigger Warning" in this forum and pin it.

I created at pinned topic at the top of how we deal with the negativity inherent in this forum. Maybe we can bounce this and other ideas around there?

Probably won’t agree but feelmreally desperate people like me me today need few day to express their feelings. So suggested SI feeling or negative suggestions and trigger warnings. Obv not allowed . just feel I never have anywhere to go as just get positivity piositivity constanlybthrown at me a but wearing on bad days when you literally can’t get out bed x felt had turned a  couple days ages now

w feel back yo xquare one again can’t stop crying x think we need an outlet witouyT upsetting others. Just feel lot names I recignised have just dropped as critised for being negative. Could really do with a neagative frium when you fell bad somewhere tio vent for limited period and triggers 

 

 

 

warning and no mention of SI or being permanently damaged. I am just too afraid posting anything negative anymore so tend ton this forum.

 

Edited April 8 by [le...]

[[Co...]]

8 hours ago, [[l...] said:

I sometimes think there should be a forum for people feeling really desperate with a trigger warning. Just so you had a temporary place to vent but obviously just fir few Dalys.That others could avoid Spent day in bed crying could done with somewhere. Just feel frightened to be too negative   here as just get lot abuse. But do agree people shouldn’t be encouraging sI feelings or make blankets statements everyone will heal. Being a coach must be emotionally draining as they have to make a living, so at the end of day aren’t going tonget regailmstories  of l those who didn’t recover . Anyway stay off Facebook seems full of horror stories.

I understand the desire for such a space. But my concern is that such a space would inevitably fuel further negativity - this would be very unhealthy. @[Na...]'s new topic on this matter does a good job of detailing the problem - any solution will be imperfect and will be far from some members' ideal. As I posted yesterday, running this community requires all kinds of compromises.

Negativity in the Long Hauler's Group - Discussions - Benzodiazepine Withdrawal Support (benzobuddies.org)

[[jo...]]

13 hours ago, [[l...] said:

Probably won’t agree but feelmreally desperate people like me me today need few day to express their feelings. So suggested SI feeling or negative suggestions and trigger warnings. Obv not allowed . just feel I never have anywhere to go as just get positivity piositivity constanlybthrown at me a but wearing on bad days when you literally can’t get out bed x felt had turned a  couple days ages now

w feel back yo xquare one again can’t stop crying x think we need an outlet witouyT upsetting others. Just feel lot names I recignised have just dropped as critised for being negative. Could really do with a neagative frium when you fell bad somewhere tio vent for limited period and triggers 

warning and no mention of SI or being permanently damaged. I am just too afraid posting anything negative anymore so tend ton this forum.

It’s kind of upsetting to me that this has now turned into the narrative that you shouldn’t or can’t be negative here. It was never said and it was never the intention of the post. I’ve tried to express that so many times on this thread, expressing my own fears and negative thoughts as example. But, at this point I’m just going to give up. I feel enough people understand what I was saying, and I know what I meant and that’s that. If you don’t agree with my feelings around the danger and issue of telling other people they’re permanently damaged then that’s okay. I just don’t want to interact with those kinds of conversations 

Edited April 8 by [jo...]

[[jo...]]

23 hours ago, [[l...] said:

Don’t come on here much so haven:t seen posts you refer to. Think we need to show empathy towards others, I do struggle as been 4 years since I came off the anti depressants, but would never tell people this is permanent. The truth is we don’t know, listen a lot to Melissa Boutilier who says majority of people recover which I think is more accurate statement. My symptoms largely mental so make normal life impossible found it hard to find others who have bad mental symptoms,. Maybe try to encourage those making toxic posts. Think lot people making those posts got other stuff going on as well. I would stay off Facebook groups seem full people making negative comments. I have no idea if I will recover. But would never tell people it is permanent, I have little hope with very few windows but i am very severe case with lot  family issues that don’t help. Stay off too many forums they can be toxic.

I also went and checked out Melissa’s YouTube channel and it appears she’s having the exact same issues on her recent videos as the one described here. People telling her she’s full of it and spouting that we don’t heal and it’s permanent. 

[[Sh...]]

On 07/04/2024 at 01:08, [[c...] said:

Yes I've improved, but I still deal with panic, stress intolerance, have a variety of food issues, autoimmune issues, DYSAUTONOMIA that I cannot get diagnosed properly due to medical ignorance and affects the quality of my life, the reoccurring D/P D/R

and the lovely insomnia ")

I recently tried to get help with my migraines which have increased in duration and intensity--PAIN FOR DAYS and nobody will DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT...no referrals to a neurologist, no curiosity from my providers who only seem to be able to read off a computer screen for codes to bill me with. And certainly no pain med.  I just have to suffer...

I am being revenued off of and there is no help

I have operated for YEARS now knowing I cannot make commitments/travel and must take elaborate steps to just go to town...nevermind COVID (long covid sounds very much like BIND eh?)

You too still have insomnia 10 years out? Gosh. Can you describe your insomnia patterns? Do you feel sleepy? Is it sleep onset insomnia? Broken sleep?

[[le...]]

On 08/04/2024 at 05:25, [[N...] said:

I know the threshold for starting a new group is pretty high, but maybe I should start at topic "A Place to Vent - Trigger Warning" in this forum and pin it.

I created at pinned topic at the top of how we deal with the negativity inherent in this forum. Maybe we can bounce this and other ideas around there?

Think it is needed Nathan so long as it’s given trigger warning and not mention  SI or that damage is permanent. As I get very few windows mainly bad days feel I will just get lot negative replies if I’m not positive positive so more less given up with benzo buddies. After all if I felt positive about things wouldn’t be on here desperate for reassurance. I agree what you say can affect other but got to stage I feel I can no longer say if I am having bad day which is most time. Been nearly 4 years with little improvement so forgive me if I’m not positive.😔

Edited April 9 by [le...]

[[Ga...]]

Leann, when you went back on Zop recently doesn’t that reset your length of time on the drug?  Anytime we resume taking our original drug of choice, that means you have reinstated, doesn’t it?  Just thinking you will continue not healing while taking Zop?

GG

[[le...]]

19 hours ago, [[G...] said:

Leann, when you went back on Zop recently doesn’t that reset your length of time on the drug?  Anytime we resume taking our original drug of choice, that means you have reinstated, doesn’t it?  Just thinking you will continue not healing while taking Zop?

GG

Never had any problems with zop it was anti depressants that sent me loopy plus the flu jab. It was over 5 years was made to CT and only reinstated zop recently and had little improvement in that time. It actually helps as being able sleep makes such a difference.

 

Edited April 10 by [le...]

[[Na...]]

On 10/04/2024 at 01:43, [[l...] said:

Never had any problems with zop it was anti depressants that sent me loopy plus the flu jab. It was over 5 years was made to CT and only reinstated zop recently and had little improvement in that time. It actually helps as being able sleep makes such a difference.

Not sure which "zop" you're talking about - zolpidem or zopiclone but they're both obviously "z-drugs" normally used for sleep.

I do think you need to understand that the z-drugs in general are functionally equivalent to short acting benzodiazepines. They bind to the same sites on GABA A receptors and they have virtually identical effects.

They also have virtually identical tolerance and withdrawal issues. 

So you're as likely to have problems with z-drugs as you are with benzos. 

I unfortunately know a lot about this because I took three drugs for insomnia over many years - zolpidem, zopiclone, and temazepam. In fact, I took the straight up benzo temazepam for the shortest length of time (a couple of years). By far most of my years were spent taking zolpidem and zopiclone as prescribed for insomnia. Zopiclone was the last drug I took and what I tapered off of.

So I have to tell you - if you believe that benzos are bad you need to understand that z-drugs are in the same boat. 

This isn't to chastise anyone, this is just out of concern that you understand what those drugs are. I see people sometimes that have a really difficult time coming off a benzo that end up gravitating towards a z-drug. They do this become a z-drug will mitigate a lot of the withdrawal problems caused by a benzo. They really want to believe these are benign drugs because they help so much with benzo withdrawal. But there's a reason they help so much - they're doing the same thing. Which means they tend to create the same problems.

Edited April 12 by [Na...]

[[Gi...]]

On 08/04/2024 at 04:17, [[N...] said:

Ok, so I'll touch the third rail here.

"Everybody heals".

Can I guarantee you that everyone that is damaged by these drugs eventually makes a full recovery?

Unfortunately not. I have no crystal ball. I'm almost 9 years into this and still dealing with a number of issues (chronic muscle spasms and anxiety issues being the major ones).  In fact, I'm dealing with a major flair up of my muscle spasms in the last couple of weeks which is why I've been a little scarce in these parts.

The only thing I can assure you is that I do believe that everyone can heal. I believe we all have that potential. I've spoken with people that were 8, 10, 12 years off that were in a very bad state and out of nowhere got a major improvement and considered themselves either fully recovered or recovered to the point where benzo damage no longer ruled their lives. And some of these people were in a very bad state indeed and they were absolutely certain that they would never get better.

So if you're someone that thinks the damage is permanent (and believe me, I fully understand having that opinion) - perhaps you will be right or perhaps you might be surprised one day.

There are no assurances in this life - not even for people that never touched a benzo.

The other thing I can tell you is that over time most people do tend to improve. But if you're years out from the end of your taper or CT, you're definitely going to feel like the improvement is at a glacial pace and it's very easy to think that you will never get better.

The last thing I am certain of is that negative thinking never helped anything. If you are someone that ultimately never improves to a point that would satisfy you and you dwell on your miserable state you will only feel your misery more acutely.

If you are on the other hand a person that never ultimately recovers fully but are "deluded" into thinking that one day you will be healed your burden will be lessened. Your experience of suffering will be reduced.

Don't mistake my saying this for my thinking that you can heal yourself with positive thinking. I don't think I really believe that and I feel that it's an unfair assertion because it can imply if you're not recovering you are to blame for not thinking positive enough. The only blame for our situation are these horrible pills we were given too casually. 

But if positive thinking won't heal you, I am absolutely certain that negative thinking will only make you worse. I know because I've been there. 

I'll confess that I've personally lost hope many many times over the years. But, eventually a little seed of it comes back. And you need to nurture that seed as best as you can.

I'll close by saying that in the last 6 months I have noticed that my anxiety issues have definitely gotten better, and I never thought they would. Not perfect but noticeably better. The physical issues are pretty stubborn though. But if one thing can improve, so can the other things. 

There is hope.

@[Na...] 

Sorry to hear about your recent wave, flare up of your muscle spasms. Could you describe more in details please? Did it just come out of the blue or did you exert or exercise more than usual?

Thank you.

[[Ca...]]

On 09/04/2024 at 04:57, [[l...] said:

Think it is needed Nathan so long as it’s given trigger warning and not mention  SI or that damage is permanent. As I get very few windows mainly bad days feel I will just get lot negative replies if I’m not positive positive so more less given up with benzo buddies. After all if I felt positive about things wouldn’t be on here desperate for reassurance. I agree what you say can affect other but got to stage I feel I can no longer say if I am having bad day which is most time. Been nearly 4 years with little improvement so forgive me if I’m not positive.😔

I know leann, I can't be both honest and positive. I don't usually give advice anyway, just avoid stress if at all possible. I've been on another crying jag, couple hours. Worried I'm losing my grip, something has got to give. The grief is as profound as the depression is deep. The anxiety varies somewhat but never subsides completely. Then I've got ankle surgery coming up and I'm stuck in one room 24/7 and sort of going a little stir crazy. But that's just how it really, negative or positive, indifferent or who knows, I just wish had something better. But I read and feel for others on here, the more I read because what's ever going on with you matters to me, more than you might think. 

[[Ca...]]

On 10/04/2024 at 15:56, [[N...] said:

Not sure which "zop" you're talking about - zolpidem or zopiclone but they're both obviously "z-drugs" normally used for sleep.

I do think you need to understand that the z-drugs in general are functionally equivalent to short acting benzodiazepines. They bind to the same sites on GABA A receptors and they have virtually identical effects.

They also have virtually identical tolerance and withdrawal issues. 

So you're as likely to have problems with z-drugs as you are with benzos. 

I unfortunately know a lot about this because I took three drugs for insomnia over many years - zolpidem, zopiclone, and temazepam. In fact, I took the straight up benzo temazepam for the shortest length of time (a couple of years). By far most of my years were spent taking zolpidem and zopiclone as prescribed for insomnia. Zopiclone was the last drug I took and what I tapered off of.

So I have to tell you - if you believe that benzos are bad you need to understand that z-drugs are in the same boat. 

This isn't to chastise anyone, this is just out of concern that you understand what those drugs are. I see people sometimes that have a really difficult time coming off a benzo that end up gravitating towards a z-drug. They do this become a z-drug will mitigate a lot of the withdrawal problems caused by a benzo. They really want to believe these are benign drugs because they help so much with benzo withdrawal. But there's a reason they help so much - they're doing the same thing. Which means they tend to create the same problems.

Yikes!! Because I'm on an SNRI and Gabapentin. Not sure about Seroquel, Baclofen but take those too for sleep. 

[[Co...]]

23 hours ago, [[C...] said:

I know leann, I can't be both honest and positive. I don't usually give advice anyway, just avoid stress if at all possible. I've been on another crying jag, couple hours. Worried I'm losing my grip, something has got to give. The grief is as profound as the depression is deep. The anxiety varies somewhat but never subsides completely. Then I've got ankle surgery coming up and I'm stuck in one room 24/7 and sort of going a little stir crazy. But that's just how it really, negative or positive, indifferent or who knows, I just wish had something better. But I read and feel for others on here, the more I read because what's ever going on with you matters to me, more than you might think. 

Hi @[Ca...]. I hope the following helps to reassure you.

From earlier in this thread:

On 06/04/2024 at 14:32, [[C...] said:

Positivity:

We've had a few members in the past post about 'toxic positivity'. I am not at all a fan of the phrase. But we surely understand what it means. I touched upon this the post of mine I linked above. Sometimes members need to vent a bit (and this is OK within reasonable limits), and they might be looking for either reassurance or acknowledgment (or both). My advise is to respond in the way which seems most appropriate to the post.

And:

On 08/04/2024 at 05:17, [[N...] said:

The last thing I am certain of is that negative thinking never helped anything. If you are someone that ultimately never improves to a point that would satisfy you and you dwell on your miserable state you will only feel your misery more acutely.

If you are on the other hand a person that never ultimately recovers fully but are "deluded" into thinking that one day you will be healed your burden will be lessened. Your experience of suffering will be reduced.

Don't mistake my saying this for my thinking that you can heal yourself with positive thinking. I don't think I really believe that and I feel that it's an unfair assertion because it can imply if you're not recovering you are to blame for not thinking positive enough. The only blame for our situation are these horrible pills we were given too casually. 

But if positive thinking won't heal you, I am absolutely certain that negative thinking will only make you worse. I know because I've been there.

And, below, something I posted a couple of months ago in another thread about negativity. As you will read there, there is no 'ban' on members reporting their difficulties and their feelings. It is just that maintaining a supportive space requires some compromises and a balanced approach from us all.

On 07/02/2024 at 00:19, [[C...] said:

Hello @[Kr...]

Hmm. That's not correct. Frankly, the way your coach phrased that sounds rather loaded and is disappointing to me. But perhaps you are paraphrasing and I am reading too much into it.

We try to avoid creating spaces which only serve to promote negativity. Some years ago, I recall a benzodiazepine withdrawal support group at Facebook with an area called 'Wall of Pain'. That struck me as a dreadful idea. But there is a world of difference about attempting to promote (where we can) a more positive atmosphere and 'BenzoBuddies frown[ing] upon negativity'.

The reality is that our members are generally going through something tough. Hopefully, they will - and the usually do - go through better patches too. But it would be unrealistic to expect members to not report their difficulties and seek help and support from a support forum. After all, support is what we are about!

In extreme cases, where a member consistently and regularly posts negative content, we will contact them about it. If a member habitually writes negatively, this not only has a negative affect upon other members, but upon the person doing this too. Writing can very strongly reinforce our thoughts. So if we consistently write about how ill we feel, this makes us feel worse. In extreme cases, it is in everyone's best interests - and certainly in the interests of the member habitually writing this way - that we intervene.

The flip side would be a member who habitually responds with positivity when a member just needs a bit of sympathy. Inappropriately responding in a very upbeat manner, if done habitually, can also have a negative effect. We would contact a member in this situation too.

These things are about balance.

@[Pa...] started a thread about this matter last summer. It is important for me to point out that the thread was in response to particular problems at the time. Further, if you read all the posts in the thread, you will be reassured that you are encouraged to post honestly about where you are at and how you are feeling. 'Forced happiness' is not what we are about.

https://benzobuddies.org/topic/269846-is-this-what-we-want-is-this-who-we-want-to-be/

I hope you feel reassured and have a better day tomorrow.

Take care.