Sleep and Pain

[[Bu...]]

Hey @[...] and anyone else reading,

Ok!  Sleep and pain.  Ugh.  Before benzos I slept perfectly.  I fell asleep usually in five minutes and slept for 8 uninterrupted hours.  (Oh, how I miss it!)  About 7 years into my benzo use, and as a result of kindling, I started having awful insomnia.  I went from that perfect sleep to one night where I didn't sleep at all.  I was so confused. And I never figured it out until I came to this site.  (No doctor ever figured it out either.)  It has been 13 years of insomnia, and then pain when lying down started about 4 years ago and now, of course during my taper and after, this really, really horrible sleep.  I wonder if, when all this is over,  I will go back to that perfect sleep or if it will always be a bit of a fight now.  I guess time will tell.  

On the upside, that pain when lying down is not always there anymore.  Some nights I can lay down flat for 4-5 hours or so without pain now.  It's just such a jumbled mess, it's hard to know what the end result will be.

@[...] What type of pain are you dealing with?  Is it all over and worse at night? 

I think it's night where you are now, so I hope you are resting well. ❤

[[...]]

Thank you, @[Bu...]and good morning or what is it in your place? It fascinates me greatly i'm about to sleep and you have the whole yesterday of mine ahead) Just wanted to say hello to you and to @[ns...] - i see she's typing) An interesting topic! I do have something to say but not now. Will try to sleep) Have a nice day!)🙂

Edited February 27 by [...]

[[ns...]]

Found u guys! Ok,  sleep and pain for which I am queen lol.

I haven't slept over 2 hrs at a time in over 3 yrs! Last night was no exception.

Had skin cancer surgery left upper shoulder blade next to cervical spine. Wound left open, very large.

Dog trips me chasing the cat, I do a back flip and land backwards on top of my feet lol, I broke both of them!

The shoulder thing, the very day I finished my last forced taper I lifted heavy bags out of the freezer full of frozen food to move then because our freezer was acting up. I felt a pull and stretching in my arms and back, got down the hall and barely made it to the kitchen from the garage.

Next day,  I'm going down the hall and fell into my husband's arms and said, I feel like I can't hold my diaphram up! 

From there it's all down hill. Many er visits, lightning bolts like electricity going down my left arm and jerking shoulder. 

Pain is intense and no one knows what's going on! It's your neck, mri, nope, not my neck. No sleep,  cant take pain meds, muscle relaxers not even ib profin! 2 yrs later xray of shoulder and upper back, nope not that! 

I was in withdrawal and didn't even know it, bit I injured myself! 

Chalked it up to anxiety cause no one could tell me what was wrong with my shoulder blade. 

no sleep!

I re injured my shoulder blade or whatever it is.  can't lean back, lie back, sit cause I'm numb and I have nerve pain everywhere! My sciatica is making my butt and pelvic floor numb to my upper waste.

So last night figured out that the skin cancer scar was probably stretched a nerve when I lifted those bags, or fell and broke my feet. The nerve pain is back, the electricity going down my arms and back and diaphragm is back, who knows! 

So no i dont sleep, if i ever do fall asleep,  my husband wakes me up with his snoring or heavy breathing lol, which i can hear a pin drop with my new bionic ears, so yeah, i know this thing called no sleep!

So now I'm sitting here numb butt and hurt shoulder, can't sit back, barely holding my phone typing like a dummy and going to er in 3 days to demand an mri of my shoulder blade, lumbar spine and pelvic floor area.

How bout u gals, you doing OK?   lol

[[ns...]]

[[Bu...]]

[[Bu...]]

@[ns...],

Oh, my gosh!  That's a lot of injuries and pain!  And then throw withdrawal in the mix.  I can't imagine how confusing that must all be, trying to figure out what is causing what.  And three years of that kind of sleep!  Geez!  Well, I shall include it all in my prayers and hope that there is some sorting and lessening of symptoms soon.

Let me know how the imaging goes.  And did that new doctor having anything helpful for all that?  I really hope so.

I'm doing ok-ish.  Last night, or rather this morning, I got 1 & 1/2 hours of sleep.  I did get a three hour nap in during the day though.  The fact that I can nap is a huge improvement.  I'm trying not to get too down about the return of the degree of the insomnia.  Only 6 months off, so to be expected and all that.  But still...

My apartment building is also under construction this week.  Right on the other side of our bedroom wall they are tearing down a staircase and replacing it.  The current one is made of metal-filled-concrete (it had rusted badly and looked like it was bleeding), so there is a jackhammer involved.  At 7:00am.

Everyone in the building is sleeping as bad as I am right now!

[[ns...]]

16 minutes ago, [[B...] said:

@[ns...],

Oh, my gosh!  That's a lot of injuries and pain!  And then throw withdrawal in the mix.  I can't imagine how confusing that must all be, trying to figure out what is causing what.  And three years of that kind of sleep!  Geez!  Well, I shall include it all in my prayers and hope that there is some sorting and lessening of symptoms soon.

Let me know how the imaging goes.  And did that new doctor having anything helpful for all that?  I really hope so.

I'm doing ok-ish.  Last night, or rather this morning, I got 1 & 1/2 hours of sleep.  I did get a three hour nap in during the day though.  The fact that I can nap is a huge improvement.  I'm trying not to get too down about the return of the degree of the insomnia.  Only 6 months off, so to be expected and all that.  But still...

My apartment building is also under construction this week.  Right on the other side of our bedroom wall they are tearing down a staircase and replacing it.  The current one is made of metal-filled-concrete (it had rusted badly and looked like it was bleeding), so there is a jackhammer involved.  At 7:00am.

Everyone in the building is sleeping as bad as I am right now!

Oh no, you poor thing, a jackhammer? I couldn't handle it! I wonder how long that will go on, I sure hope they get done fast! 

Thank u for your prayers. I know it's not a funny topic but sometimes you just gotta laugh to keep sane!

I'm glad your able to nap, that's sounds heavenly,  oh I miss my little Naps, lol. 

The doctor I thought was so great is not so great after all. He's very strange, I've seem him 3x and I've not been able to talk to him about this problem. He only sees benzo so it's all he talks about. I did slip in that I'm numb from the waste down, then said it again and that my butt was numb and he looked up, asked me this, " well can u feel it when u wipe your butt?" LOL, Ilwe just were surprised, I told him well I'm numb i feel weird! He slammed his laptop, told me to come back in the morning early for an exam because of might have a spinal cord injury. 

I knew better, it was 730pm, he was tired, we were tired, we waited 2.5 hrs to see him. Came back next day early, he did his little exam and said oh your fine, I'll referr you to a neurosurgeon fir an mri! We waited 2 hrs thar morning and still didn't get to talk to him.

I'm looking for a new doctor. 

Anyway yeah its been fun, lol, just great!

I waited 4 months to see him actually, gave him a complete history of my medical in writing so we wouldn't waste time but he's put in my record things that are not correct. 

He's a strange one. 

He contacted mental health and they are calling calling. He says it's the law that he call them because I'm tapering and I need to see psychiatrist for benzos, i told him i don't need any i have enough im almost finished. He repeated himself each visit. Hes retiring and we think he doesn't want any more patients. He's part time, spends at least a hour with his patients and then he just types and talks alot.

Bla bla bla,

Lol, so Anyway,  that's that!

Sorry thst took so long to explain!

Sp Kate must be un Europe correct, she sounds so sweet.

It's nice to visit with people here and from other parts of the world sometimes.  

I'm glad you found me, your so sweet especially knowing you love the lord. I think there are many christians here but they are quiet for the most part but thats ok, our faith usually shines through without saying a word.

Well I've talked your ear off, I'll let you go. I'm so tired, and in pain.  

I'll be here, I ck my email ever so often ok

Take care, 

Bless!

Ns 

 

 

[[...]]

11 hours ago, [[n...] said:

Found u guys! Ok,  sleep and pain for which I am queen lol.

I haven't slept over 2 hrs at a time in over 3 yrs! Last night was no exception.

Had skin cancer surgery left upper shoulder blade next to cervical spine. Wound left open, very large.

Dog trips me chasing the cat, I do a back flip and land backwards on top of my feet lol, I broke both of them!

The shoulder thing, the very day I finished my last forced taper I lifted heavy bags out of the freezer full of frozen food to move then because our freezer was acting up. I felt a pull and stretching in my arms and back, got down the hall and barely made it to the kitchen from the garage.

Next day,  I'm going down the hall and fell into my husband's arms and said, I feel like I can't hold my diaphram up! 

From there it's all down hill. Many er visits, lightning bolts like electricity going down my left arm and jerking shoulder. 

Pain is intense and no one knows what's going on! It's your neck, mri, nope, not my neck. No sleep,  cant take pain meds, muscle relaxers not even ib profin! 2 yrs later xray of shoulder and upper back, nope not that! 

I was in withdrawal and didn't even know it, bit I injured myself! 

Chalked it up to anxiety cause no one could tell me what was wrong with my shoulder blade. 

no sleep!

I re injured my shoulder blade or whatever it is.  can't lean back, lie back, sit cause I'm numb and I have nerve pain everywhere! My sciatica is making my butt and pelvic floor numb to my upper waste.

So last night figured out that the skin cancer scar was probably stretched a nerve when I lifted those bags, or fell and broke my feet. The nerve pain is back, the electricity going down my arms and back and diaphragm is back, who knows! 

So no i dont sleep, if i ever do fall asleep,  my husband wakes me up with his snoring or heavy breathing lol, which i can hear a pin drop with my new bionic ears, so yeah, i know this thing called no sleep!

So now I'm sitting here numb butt and hurt shoulder, can't sit back, barely holding my phone typing like a dummy and going to er in 3 days to demand an mri of my shoulder blade, lumbar spine and pelvic floor area.

How bout u gals, you doing OK?   lol

@[ns...], you know i'm sincerely impressed with your courage and fortitude! Take my hat off to you. I think only the one who knows by their own bitter experience what true suffering is can be that positive and sympathetic. I noticed it reading your other posts)

Sorry English isn't my mother tongue and i couldn't understand where you're now with your benzo. Are you tapering? Oh, if i can find it in your story, i'll look it up. Wish you health and as little pain as possible!🌺

Edited February 28 by [...]

[[...]]

14 hours ago, [[B...] said:

I know!  So strange, but in a good way!  (You can tell me how the future is!😃)  When you wrote that it was about 5:00 pm for me.  So, I guess not the whole day ahead, but the evening and night.

Hope you're having sweet dreams!

Thank you!) Sweat dreams... It's a dream in itself.

It was about 2 am in my place)🌍 The future is great) Sunny and no pain in it🙂 

A jackhammer?!! Omg... I know what it is like. We had our block of apartments repaired throughout my benzo tapering... Don't know how i survived... But i did)))

Edited February 28 by [...]

[[...]]

11 hours ago, [[B...] said:

Hey @[...] and anyone else reading,

Ok!  Sleep and pain.  Ugh.  Before benzos I slept perfectly.  I fell asleep usually in five minutes and slept for 8 uninterrupted hours.  (Oh, how I miss it!)  About 7 years into my benzo use, and as a result of kindling, I started having awful insomnia.  I went from that perfect sleep to one night where I didn't sleep at all.  I was so confused. And I never figured it out until I came to this site.  (No doctor ever figured it out either.)  It has been 13 years of insomnia, and then pain when lying down started about 4 years ago and now, of course during my taper and after, this really, really horrible sleep.  I wonder if, when all this is over,  I will go back to that perfect sleep or if it will always be a bit of a fight now.  I guess time will tell.  

On the upside, that pain when lying down is not always there anymore.  Some nights I can lay down flat for 4-5 hours or so without pain now.  It's just such a jumbled mess, it's hard to know what the end result will be.

@[...] What type of pain are you dealing with?  Is it all over and worse at night? 

I think it's night where you are now, so I hope you are resting well. ❤

 @[Bu...]) I think your sleep will come back given it was ok in the past, really. I just happen to know people whose brain sorted out this sort of insomnia related to benzo successfully. Can't say it was a quick process though. My sleep was always poor and i don't expect it to bloom with health after the torture but want to have back my 5-7 hours of any sleep with DREAMS! This is my hot spot. I was deprived of dreams on benzo and it was actually painful. Not sure how to explain. Thought it's something to do with sleep phases. I welcomed even nightmares wich attacked me the first months of wd)

I'd like to ask you the same question) What kind of pain at night do you mean? My pain/ache or whatever doesn't seem to depend on anything. I just have it or don't have it. Really odd. And if i happen to wake up while dreaming, there is always 0 pain. I also noticed if i sleep more then 6 hours i tend to develop a headache, so i wind up an alarm clock so as not to oversleep)

I also have lots of questions about the kindling you mentioned. So many questions!) Benzo is a soft cruel riddle(

Good morning to you!) ☀️ May the new day be better than yesterday but worse than tomorrow)

 

Edited February 28 by [...]

[[...]]

@[Bu...] - I'm also starting to experience pain while sleeping. It started a couple weeks after my most recent dose reduction - down to 1 mg valium. I just decided to hold another month here to hopefully get the pain to lessen before cutting again. Basically, anywhere there is pressure on my body against the bed, it hurts. The better I sleep (less insomnia) the more it hurts, since I'm laying on it longer. 

My friend who is a doctor (not my doc and not a benzo expert, but someone who has worked with neuropathic pain) thinks it's that the nerves are "coming back online" and that when this happens, it hurts. I hope that's what it is. 

Is this the type of pain you're experiencing? 

[[Bu...]]

@[...], @[ns...]

No jackhammer this morning!  Actually, no workers at all. Maybe it was too cold today; t's mid-morning here and it just got above freezing.  I don't know, I'm just grateful.  I think I got around 4 1/2 hours last night.  Not bad, all things considered.  And I'm hoping that I'll be able to take a nap in a couple hours.

 

[[Bu...]]

@[ns...],

Oh my, I'm sorry about the doctor.   I've been to a few like that over the years.  They often sound so promising when you meet them, so it is doubly disappointing.  

14 hours ago, [[n...] said:

He contacted mental health and they are calling calling. He says it's the law that he call them because I'm tapering and I need to see psychiatrist for benzos

That seems really strange.  I have never heard of a law requiring that.  It's a prescription.  It's already on file with the prescribing doctor and the pharmacy.  And possibly with an insurance company? Why on earth would it need reporting?  So that's just weird.

Well, the hunt for a good doctor continues...  Hopefully you'll find one soon.  Although, the MRI sounds like a good idea.  And maybe a new neurologist is a good idea, too.

Well, I hope you had a "decent" night last night.  You're in the U.S, right?  Me, too.

[[Bu...]]

[[Bu...]]

[[...]]

"Are you using a translating program or are you writing it yourself?  And if you don't mind me asking, (but if you do, you certainly don't have to answer) what country do you live in?"

@[Bu...], no, no program. I just happen to love English. But i can't always write quickly( Sometimes it takes time😅 And, while in tolerance+tapering and for the first months of wd i couldn't read, listen to or speak your language, just a bit of Ashton, all in all for 3 years. Err)) I live in Eastern Europe)

I'll write  the rest later. Hope you'll take  your nap. Good day to you🌤️

 

Edited February 28 by [...]

[[ns...]]

1 hour ago, [[B...] said:

@[ns...],

Oh my, I'm sorry about the doctor.   I've been to a few like that over the years.  They often sound so promising when you meet them, so it is doubly disappointing.  

That seems really strange.  I have never heard of a law requiring that.  It's a prescription.  It's already on file with the prescribing doctor and the pharmacy.  And possibly with an insurance company? Why on earth would it need reporting?  So that's just weird.

Well, the hunt for a good doctor continues...  Hopefully you'll find one soon.  Although, the MRI sounds like a good idea.  And maybe a new neurologist is a good idea, too.

Well, I hope you had a "decent" night last night.  You're in the U.S, right?  Me, too.

Good morning BurnTheShips, how's the jackhammer going? So sorry your having to deal with that! 

Hope you got some sleep, I actually got a few hours, praise God, thank u for your prayers!

Yes the doctor is different. And no it's not the law for him to report.  He's just a strange one lol.

So yes time to find a new doctor and I've found a neurologist. 

So might go to er today, we'll see. Expecting a huge snow storm starting tomorrow and won't be able to make it to er on Friday I'd it's too bad.

Yes I'm in the US, I kind of figured u were too!

I think we're in the Same time zone! 

Well have to chat about that on pm.

Hope your able to nap with your friendly jackhammer pounding away, I'll keep u in my prayers

[[Th...]]

As someone with a close friend that is an ER doctor, I can't stress enough that ERs are for "emergency" stabilizing care only.  They are NOT for the treatment of Benzo withdrawal or withdrawal symptoms.  I went 4 times to an ER over 6 weeks expecting the ER doctor to be able to give me some relief.  It didn't happen and it won't for you either.  Even if they recognize Benzo withdrawal, they'll typically say symptoms only last a week or two after the drugs are out of your system.  All they can offer is more Benzos or other psych drugs.  Unfortunately there are no ways over, under or around Benzo withdrawal symptoms.  The only way out is through the healing and recovery process.  I wish I had more comforting words to offer, but there aren't any.  Time is the healer along with God, if you have faith.  Peace! 

Edited February 28 by [Th...]

[[ns...]]

11 minutes ago, [[T...] said:

As someone with a close friend that is an ER doctor, I can't stress enough that ERs are for "emergency" stabilizing care only.  They are NOT for the treatment of Benzo withdrawal or withdrawal symptoms.  I went 4 times to an ER over 6 weeks expecting the ER doctor to be able to give me some relief.  It didn't happen and it won't for you either.  Even if they recognize Benzo withdrawal, they'll typically say symptoms only last a week or two after the drugs are out of your system.  All they can offer is more Benzos or other psych drugs.  Unfortunately there are no ways over, under or around Benzo withdrawal symptoms.  The only way out is through the healing and recovery process.  I wish I had more comforting words to offer, but there aren't any.  Te is the healer along with God, if you have faith.  Peace! 

ThEwAy2, thanks but I'm not going to er for benzo withdrawal!

[[...]]

4 hours ago, [[B...] said:

@[...]

"I also have this weird deep ache that is just kind of everywhere when I lay down flat for too long.  It's hard to describe. It's like it is just internal, not exactly muscle, but not exactly not muscle either"

"I also am ok with nightmares, because then at least I know that I slept.  Lately, the nightmares have calmed down to just really weird dreams." 

BurnTheShip, yes, benzos mess with us tremendously but nobody seems to know it. Once again a riddle😕 No doctor could understand what was wrong with me while in tolerance either. I guessed by myself reading my local forum. By the way,I learned about Ashton and BenzoBuddies there too)

This pain description could have been written by me, really... But for mine it doesn't matter whether it's day or night. 

I do think your sleep will come back but sure i'm not a doctor) and 14 years of insomnia... Yes, it takes time for your brain to get it back but it will manage sooner or later. Hope rather sooner)

You made me smile by the usefulness of nightmares)) Mine also gave way to unusually vivid dreams. They were like...vivid and i remember them even now. But dreams are still a matter of concern to me. Often no dreams at all and pain as a result( Hope my feeble ones will be completely back one wonderful night and for good)

I'd so much like to ask you about kindling. Perhaps, i need to sart a new thread for it?

Have a lovely afternoon)) And no pain at all! 🎈

Edited February 28 by [...]

[[ns...]]

[[ns...]]

[[ns...]]

6 hours ago, [[B...] said:

@[...], @[ns...]

No jackhammer this morning!  Actually, no workers at all. Maybe it was too cold today; t's mid-morning here and it just got above freezing.  I don't know, I'm just grateful.  I think I got around 4 1/2 hours last night.  Not bad, all things considered.  And I'm hoping that I'll be able to take a nap in a couple hours.

Prayed for you! So glad u were able to get some sleep! I actually got a few hours too! Happy the jackhammer wasn't there, I'm sure all your neighbors were too! 

Ns

[[Bu...]]

[[...]]

14 hours ago, [[B...] said:

@[...]

You can defiantly do that.  I am still learning about it, too.  But I am fairly certain it is the cause of many issues I've had over the years.  Let me know if you start a thread.

And your English is amazing, by the way.  I started learning Spanish a year before my taper (had to stop during it, my brain just wouldn't work that way) and I hope someday that I speak that as well as you speak English.

@[Bu...], i see you posted it 2 hours ago??? Are you having a bad sleep?🥺 I'd so much like you not to. Hope you will succeed in tonight's sleeping)

Sure you'll speak Spanish like Cervantes, perhaps, a bit more up to day) I heard learning a language helps our brain to stay young.

Good day or night to you, whenever you read it and thank you for the kind words. They do help!✨

Edited February 29 by [...]