I’m sad

[[Kr...]]

I was told by a “coach” that benzobuddies frowns upon negativity.

Is saying I’m sad and hopeless not allowed here? I just want to say how I feel! Everyone tries to control everyone and everything. I can’t stop crying. 

[[Ca...]]

Know what you mean. Sometimes ppl lay a guilt trip on you, tell you what you 'should' do. Nonsense, it's all about expression, likely to see a lot of not so positive symptoms, because it's reality here. I've been going through a lot of grief myself. We do the best we can to mitigate the situation. Sometimes we just need someone to hear our story, trust and understand what it's about.💙🩵🤍🤍

[[...]]

How you feel is what benzos sites are  about. 

Did your "coach"ever take a benzo? Have a clue?

Edited February 6 by [...]
Grammer

[[Co...]]

19 hours ago, [[K...] said:

I was told by a “coach” that benzobuddies frowns upon negativity.

Is saying I’m sad and hopeless not allowed here? I just want to say how I feel! Everyone tries to control everyone and everything. I can’t stop crying. 

Hello @[Kr...]

Hmm. That's not correct. Frankly, the way your coach phrased that sounds rather loaded and is disappointing to me. But perhaps you are paraphrasing and I am reading too much into it.

We try to avoid creating spaces which only serve to promote negativity. Some years ago, I recall a benzodiazepine withdrawal support group at Facebook with an area called 'Wall of Pain'. That struck me as a dreadful idea. But there is a world of difference about attempting to promote (where we can) a more positive atmosphere and 'BenzoBuddies frown[ing] upon negativity'.

The reality is that our members are generally going through something tough. Hopefully, they will - and the usually do - go through better patches too. But it would be unrealistic to expect members to not report their difficulties and seek help and support from a support forum. After all, support is what we are about!

In extreme cases, where a member consistently and regularly posts negative content, we will contact them about it. If a member habitually writes negatively, this not only has a negative affect upon other members, but upon the person doing this too. Writing can very strongly reinforce our thoughts. So if we consistently write about how ill we feel, this makes us feel worse. In extreme cases, it is in everyone's best interests - and certainly in the interests of the member habitually writing this way - that we intervene.

The flip side would be a member who habitually responds with positivity when a member just needs a bit of sympathy. Inappropriately responding in a very upbeat manner, if done habitually, can also have a negative effect. We would contact a member in this situation too.

These things are about balance.

@[Pa...] started a thread about this matter last summer. It is important for me to point out that the thread was in response to particular problems at the time. Further, if you read all the posts in the thread, you will be reassured that you are encouraged to post honestly about where you are at and how you are feeling. 'Forced happiness' is not what we are about.

https://benzobuddies.org/topic/269846-is-this-what-we-want-is-this-who-we-want-to-be/

I hope you feel reassured and have a better day tomorrow.

Take care.