Still waiting for this to end.

[[Pi...]]

I haven't posted very much since I joined but have been reading others posts almost every day to keep me sane. Thank you to all who have responded! As a recap I'm 68 years old. I was given Bentyl for IBS in my late 20's. Stopped it after about 6 months and went through horrific withdraws for about a year and a half. Didn't even know what it was until my dad talked to a friend of his that was a druggist. Did cold turkey with no help from doctors who denied it and got through it talking to a friend who went through a similar experience from a prescribed drug. In my mid 40's I began having heart issues. About 5 years before I took a prescribed medicine for allergies that was taken off the market because it was found to cause heart arrhythmias. PAC's for 15 years which made it impossible to sleep. The heart doc's gave me ambien and said it was not addictive and was fine to use 2 to 3 times a week. Finally A fib developed and I had an ablation procedure which fixed the rhythm issues thank God. After 15 years of ambien my heart doc cold turkeyed me and said he was not allowed to prescribe it any more??? Interesting enough the withdraws I experienced and was familiar with already were very minimal and passed in about 6 months. A few years later i was prescribed Xanax to help me sleep on vacation trips. It was used infrequently especially at the at the beginning and in small doses over maybe 3 years. Total tablets consumed maybe 30. Stopped it about a year and a half ago and have been through hell ever since. Things were getting much better for the last 3 months. Walking further, exercising, less anxiety but the benzo belly just started. I had eating issues during the CT no appetite etc but no belly. Now super fear of everything has emerged not so much straight anxiety, crying spells and extreme stomach issues (IBS on steroids). I am done with traditional medicine. Going and listening to any MD or shrink is a high risk activity.  Any input would be appreciated.

Edited January 15 by [Pi...]
Read after posted and wanted to add something

[[Pa...]]

You sound miserable, I didn’t have stomach issues but my friend did when he was withdrawing from Ambien, do you have severe bloating?  

It sounds like your previous use of Ambien set you up for your Xanax nightmare, I’m so sorry.  

Can you figure out what happened, was there a trigger for your benzo belly, were you dealing with some new stress in your life?  Of course, there doesn’t have to be a reason for symptoms to appear out of nowhere, thats the hideous thing about this process, symptoms can randomly appear.

You’ve had a rough history with medications, I can understand why you’re wary of traditional medicine.  

[[Pi...]]

Because I been driving my poor wife crazy she wanted me to talk to a Psychiatrist. We did a face time and the first words out of his mouth was I can get you some Zoloft. That ended that conversation for $150.00.I think the trigger was pushing myself too hard exercising and trying to get back to my old life. What makes the whole process so difficult is that people don't comprehend what you are going through and there is no "treatment". I've been here done this before. Only one exit door and it isn't easy to get to.    

[[ns...]]

Pinster I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through this!

I personally think that due to your history of ibs is what has set you up for benzo belly. It seems that wherever there is a history of pain, or like ibs the withdrawal goes right for the weakest link. I had back issues,  ibs, many physical problems and everyone of those areas of my body have been thru the process. I was on bentyl for a short time. Couldn't take them. You don't mix lorazapam with bentyl, doc didn't know that I guess. It constipated me so bad, I won't even go there lol. I've never heard of withdraw from bentyl, but I guess any medication on for a long period of time is a candidate uh? 

I.think your actual withdrawal though is probably from xanax, yes the bentyl but xanax is a hard to stop benzo. Are u tapering, or just in what they call protracted withdrawal.  I was and am in protracted withdrawal now. Forced off of lorazapam too fast, didn't know what it was, 3 yrs later went back on full time and after 3 months lorazapam became my enemy. It actually caused me panic attacks and anxiety and so much more. So I'm tapering. 

If your not tapering, then only time and knowing what your going through will help. But it's doable.

If this is the case, it's time to get as much information as possible about withdrawal. There are many here who can help with that. Pamster is one, Brighterday. They are very knowledgeable but it sounds like your not sure what's going on just yet.

I went back on only to have to taper off the right way and to get onto safe footing but it is very difficult to go off of a medication that gives u symptoms. I have benzo belly,  but I have nerves in my belly that are relentless and can barely stand or walk. Don't know if that's you. This will pass. The ashton manual gave me some great info I found today on sensitivity, u might find it helpful. I will send it to u the link tomorrow. It describes every symptom you could ever imagine but helps to understand what we're going through. 

Have answers for Pamster or whomever you speak with here, hopefully they can offer some advice where to go from here.your wife will need to understand what your going through as you need a support system, thar is key ok

I'll be watching your feed here to see how it's going. If I can help.i sure will, but I'm just a benzo buddy who has an ear mostly, but inam here.

Take care 

SN

Edited January 15 by [ns...]
Additions and corrections

[[...]]

57 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

I haven't posted very much since I joined but have been reading others posts almost every day to keep me sane. Thank you to all who have responded! As a recap I'm 68 years old. I was given Bentyl for IBS in my late 20's. Stopped it after about 6 months and went through horrific withdraws for about a year and a half. Didn't even know what it was until my dad talked to a friend of his that was a druggist. Did cold turkey with no help from doctors who denied it and got through it talking to a friend who went through a similar experience from a prescribed drug. In my mid 40's I began having heart issues. About 5 years before I took a prescribed medicine for allergies that was taken off the market because it was found to cause heart arrhythmias. PAC's for 15 years which made it impossible to sleep. The heart doc's gave me ambien and said it was not addictive and was fine to use 2 to 3 times a week. Finally A fib developed and I had an ablation procedure which fixed the rhythm issues thank God. After 15 years of ambien my heart doc cold turkeyed me and said he was not allowed to prescribe it any more??? Interesting enough the withdraws I experienced and was familiar with already were very minimal and passed in about 6 months. A few years later i was prescribed Xanax to help me sleep on vacation trips. It was used infrequently especially at the at the beginning and in small doses over maybe 3 years. Total tablets consumed maybe 30. Stopped it about a year and a half ago and have been through hell ever since. Things were getting much better for the last 3 months. Walking further, exercising, less anxiety but the benzo belly just started. I had eating issues during the CT no appetite etc but no belly. Now super fear of everything has emerged not so much straight anxiety, crying spells and extreme stomach issues (IBS on steroids). I am done with traditional medicine. Going and listening to any MD or shrink is a high risk activity.  Any input would be appreciated.

 

[[Pi...]]

It's been a year and a half CT. No turning back with reinstatement. Will be 59 in march. Still pretty healthy but I don't have years to taper and it hasn't killed me yet! Just trying to navigate the storm.

[[ns...]]

Pinster, i found the link.here you go,

Remember if we focus on our symptoms and beat ourselves up over what happened we only make the symptoms worse. Try not to be symptoms focused,  very important.  Keep your hands and mind busy, stay positive, no negativity is allowed in your heart or life!

Take care

Ns

https://www.benzoinfo.com/ashtonmanual/chapter3/#sensory-hypersensitivity

[[...]]

I’m so sorry you are going through this.  I’ve had IBS for almost 40 years, experiencing debilitating pain since I was a young woman, and know how it can wear a person down.  It wasn’t until I took a Food Sensitivity test and eliminated certain foods from my diet did I find relief; I cut out wheat and egg whites and it changed my life. My attacks have diminished (by both severity and frequency) by 90% since June. I found out how food insensitivities causing IBS pain from Dr. Hyman, a Functional Medicine doc that has a podcast. If you are interested in hearing more, send me a DM. He has a number of free resources. 

I do feel my symptoms ratcheted up slightly since I started tapering off of Xanax; I’m convinced the process is affecting my stomach, but I’m plugging through with my plan to get off of this crap. There is light at the end of this tunnel.

Hang in there! 
 

 

[[Pi...]]

Hi: I'm actually looking into the wheat. Almost all US plant based food has been genetically altered. Wheat is especially bad because it contains Round UP in small amounts. Animal based products are also corrupted with antibiotics etc. There is also a major stress factor here. In my 40's I had IBS so bad I became non functional. Mostly got attacks on weekends when relaxing. Took up running and 90% of symptoms went away which indicates stress is a major component. By the way I miss posted that I'm going to be 59. I wish - I meant 69.   Will check out Dr. Hyman. 

[[ns...]]

5 minutes ago, [[P...] said:

Hi: I'm actually looking into the wheat. Almost all US plant based food has been genetically altered. Wheat is especially bad because it contains Round UP in small amounts. Animal based products are also corrupted with antibiotics etc. There is also a major stress factor here. In my 40's I had IBS so bad I became non functional. Mostly got attacks on weekends when relaxing. Took up running and 90% of symptoms went away which indicates stress is a major component. By the way I miss posted that I'm going to be 59. I wish - I meant 69.   Will check out Dr. Hyman. 

Wheat has been gmo d! It is no longer a healthy food. You can get real non gmo wheat from Montana. You'll have to do some digging but there is no gluten in this flour. If u can make your own bread your better off using their flour.

Hope this helps u

Ns

[[Pi...]]

Thank You!

[[ns...]]

[[ns...]]

Just now, [[n...] said:

your welcome!

 

[[Pi...]]

Hi: Slept pretty sound last night. Communication with like minds really helps. Just some general info that might help someone. Another issue I have had is dry skin problems especially hands, feet and cracks on the skin on my nose that don't heal. I have found Zinc supplements really help but don't overdo it. To answer nsindy my benzo belly is pain and bloating. For me walking helps. Ive even gone to the gym and lifted weights having it with mixed results. Sometimes it helps and other times brings on further mental symptoms and no sleep. The anxiety thing is still hard to navigate. My wife and I have an appointment this week with a business person and I am stressed (which makes no sense because I ran my own business for 25 years with my wife) about having a panic attack in the middle of the meeting. A year ago I left a dentist appointment before they started because the anxiety went through the roof. Believe it or not in years past the dentist never phased me. She feels that avoiding such situations and using face time is enabling me and not helping. I feel that once I get more leveled out mentally, that will be the time to push forward with things like this that trigger me. Its hard for people who have not experienced these feelings to even comprehend your thinking. All opinions welcome. Thanks.

[[PE...]]

Worriness is the number1 enemy in recovery or wd IMO.

[[Pi...]]

Agreed. I'm just trying to avoid an embarrassing situation for my wife also. Thanks!

[[wi...]]

@[Pi...]I appreciate your posts. 

[[Pa...]]

2 hours ago, [[P...] said:

She feels that avoiding such situations and using face time is enabling me and not helping.

You have an injury that is healing and you don’t need exposure therapy to get over it.  When you recover, these new fears will disappear, you’ll return to your previous thinking and behavior.

[[Da...]]

15 hours ago, [[P...] said:

What makes the whole process so difficult is that people don't comprehend what you are going through and there is no "treatment".

I am so sorry for what you are going through and. you are right when you say people don't comprehend.  They really don't....they expect this from someone who is drinking or doing street drugs but for others, they think it is all in our heads.  Everyone here certainly understand and I am so grateful for that.  And TY @[Pa...] as I am in agreement - this isn't about exposure therapy.  Putting myself in a situation that I can't face right now would not help me at all...in fact, I would likely update.  I am glad to get some reassurance on this.   

[[Pi...]]

Thank you so much for that answer Pamster! Like I said in my first post, I went through this before and that is exactly how it played out. It's been so difficult because I know in my guts this is the deal. Well meaning people and family think if they just push me I'll "wake up". My initial phobia's and sleeping issues that started this process will be addressed when I get back closer to square one. All I hear from everyone is you have always had these issues. What about the other 50+ issues too numerous to list since I cold Turkeyed the Xanax? What they don't realize is that I have made quite a bit of progress especially physically. Couldn't walk around the block when this started. Now i do at least 1/2 mile every day. Before this I was a 3-4 day a week gym guy. There are days my head is 90% clear and other days brain fog. It's hard on my wife because you can't plan anything. Worst part is watching other family members falling into the same trap and think it's "all in my head" the doctors know best. They won't listen. Enough dumping on you guys. Just these few conversations have been more help than you know. Will let everyone know how I'm progressing. 

[[Pi...]]

Have to run soon guys. Need to take my walk. 

[[Da...]]

1 minute ago, [[P...] said:

Worst part is watching other family members falling into the same trap and think it's "all in my head" the doctors know best.

OMG same here, people telling me "you can;'t come off the meds, you have to listen to the doctors, they went to school a long time for this!" I have been living it for years.  I know of family members taking a Benzo but if I try to warn them they just tell me I am not a doctor - never mind my 20 years experience.  My only conversations with my Psychiatrist is to say all good,, so he'll fill my prescription as I get myself off these things.  He even had me on Clonodine for 3 years and then I was Cold Turkeyed.....Clonodine is mentioned specifically in the Ashton's Manual.  Then he had nerve to ask me who prescribed the Clonodine and I yelled 'YOU DID".  I have yet to run into a professional here who believed in Benzo Tolerance and Withdrawal......I have myself and my pharmacist...she read the Ashton Manual and is a big support to me.

[[Pi...]]

Unfortunately medicine is a for profit business. My 91 year old father 4 days before the cancer took him had a doctor suggesting another round of radiation treatments. It's not about making you well it's about making you a life long customer. If you are bleeding to death in a car accident or need a knee replacement they're great. Long term health care don't go near them!

[[Pi...]]

It's interesting. There is no pattern to the healing. A week ago I felt like I was coming out of this. Was getting stronger, exercising and getting out of bed in the morning and could somewhat start my day. Far from feeling normal but somewhat functional and alert. Then the Benzo Belly hit hard, energy level down, thinking not clear and some depression but not debilitating. I've always prided myself in being an analytical person but this really makes no sense. If you break a leg it slowly in most cased heals. The bigger question is how the public has accepted this from the elites in the white coats who tell you it's all in your head after they poison you and then increase the dose. Why would these drugs even be legal to prescribe?? Then you have group B white coats another for profit business that makes money trying to get you off the poison group A gave you. Everybody wins except you. Have any of these doctors ever looked at any info on the Web like this site? Or are they just stupid?? Enough of the rant I'll close with this. In the Bible I could't tell you where but Christ says physician heal thy self. Not here to preach or convert anyone. But that verse is starting to make sense to me now. 

[[Th...]]

Healing and recovery are very non-linear, very up and down with no rhyme or reason.  It's a real rollercoaster ride for most.  It's not like healing from a broken bone, where the progress is slow and steady.  Healing and recovery look like the stock market.  You might do well for days, weeks or even months only to get slammed back with intense symptoms.  It's as if you take 1 step forward then 3 steps back at various times.  Some symptoms may disappear only to return later or new symptoms crop up  out of the blue.  

Almost all doctors in the US do not recognize Benzo withdrawal or any symptoms.  And even for the few that do, they believe symptoms end in 2 weeks or so after you are off of the Benzo(s). That's why they prescribe them much longer than the 2-4 weeks maximum use.  They are completely uneducated and unaware. I shared this site with my PCP and he shrugged it off because almost everything on here is anecdotal and not based on any sort of double blind study, etc.  

Here's what Luke 4:23  means:

Jesus is reacting to the skepticism of His hometown. He has claimed to be the fulfillment of Isaiah's prophecy (Luke 4:16–21). In response, the people reply that He—Jesus—is nothing more than another Nazarene boy, like any other they have known (Luke 4:22; Mark 6:1–4). Sensing this resistance, Jesus knows exactly what will come next: a demand to see a miracle. They have heard about His prior miracles, as described in other gospels. Mark's account of this incident implies Jesus had already performed a few healings in Nazareth (Mark 6:5). And yet, when He starts to challenge their beliefs, the people will want something even more spectacular.

His reply, beginning here, cuts off that objection before it can even be spoken. The expression "Physician, heal yourself," is not exclusively about illness or injury. The point is that one claiming to have solved a problem ought to apply that solution to themselves, and those closest to them, before taking it to others. In this case, Jesus' hometown neighbors are about to demand Jesus do the same dazzling works He's done elsewhere.